woe is me
I have been really happy lately. With a few exceptions, I have been doing really well. As I approach the quarter century mark in my life I can't help but be depressed. I even turned down two requests to go hang out tonight because I just feel like being alone. One of the invites was to a strip club and believe me when I tell you, that will not help my morale. I am trying to keep my mind occupied, but everyday I come home to an empty bed from a job I hate, I realize I am not as happy as I should be. I am about to turn 25 and I am overweight, single and have been for the past 8 years, stuck in a job I fucking hate with really shitty pay, I have a shitty car and overall I feel alone. I shouldn't feel that way; I have friends and family, but that is not the alone I am referring to. The people I am interested in aren't interested in me(a minor point since I am used to it) and the people I am not interested in like me. The end point of that being I am alone, have been for a long time, and plan on being that way for a long time. I am 25 and due to financial obligations and constraints I am forced to move back in with my parents. How sad is that? Since I can not support myself I have to once again rely on my parents for help. I am not a man. I am a 25 year old teenager still living with his mommy and daddy. The time I spent in my house was the same as living abroad. In essence, I am a loser. Boo-hoo, woe is me. I am not writing this for anyone's sympathy or condolences. I write this because this is how I feel and the more I keep it in the more it hurts. I have to let it out and I am just too goddamn lazy to write it down by hand. I thought my birthday was going to be a joyous event, but the the way I have been feeling lately...maybe not. Maybe I shouldn't have been born at all and I could have just avoided everything. Who knows? Since I was born, my only choice is to just keep on living and see what the future has in store for me, whether it be rewards or pain. I just have to live and roll with the punches.