Nothing In This World... (9/?)
Title: Nothing In This World
Author: the_resolver
Fandom: Got7
Chapter: 9/?
Pairing: Mark/Jackson, Jinyoung/Jaebum, Mark/Youngjae
Rating: R
Warning: I curse a bit,
Summary: One summer, one kiss, one breath it took to make Mark realise how he felt his best friend and then to slowly have to watch his best friend push him away a bit. Starting university is hard enough but to feel like you've made the biggest mistake of your life is something else...
A/N:
Jaebum sighed when he looked at Jinyoung, he'd just come back from the library, which he'd run off to after their chat earlier, Jinyoung walked over and pressed a kiss to Jaebum's cheek. Jaebum moved a little "don't Jinyoung. I really don't want your lying lips on me." Jaebum said side eyeing him.
"Being on top really means that much to you?" Jinyoung sighed, "sex works for us the way we do it." He said quietly. "I don't see what being the receiver proves. I don't..."
"you don't think you could take a dick?" Jaebum sighed "you were my first. It will Jin, and I'm going to be careful with you. Don't you trust me?" Jaebum looked at his best friend. "I love you Jinyoung. I'm not going to do anything to harm you." Jaebum sighed and Jinyoung pulled him close and kissed him.
"We can try." Jinyoung said quietly. "I'm being genuine, about my feelings. I don't know what it means for us but I'm willing to try it for you." He said giving Jaebum another kiss. Jaebum held the other close, kissing back hard, not holding back for a change. He was going to show the other what it was like to be loved by him. He was going to make the other feel good, and he was going to do it on Jinyoung's time. There was no rush for them to have sex, and he didn't mind waiting, he just wanted the other to feel comfortable and relaxed with him. "I can't deal with us not..."
"is that why?" Jaebum mumbled. "Because if we do this, we can never be the same. We will never be the same if we start exploring feelings." He sighed "feelings make everything different. Us feeling for each other is going to make it hard." Jaebum sighed when he felt Jinyoung pull him close. "I don't want you doing this if you're unsure, or if you're going to regret us, or if this is just a joke or whatever, because I'm actually into you." Jaebum kissed Jinyoungs cheek. "Look Jin, we should cool it down and then you know when you're ready we'll talk it out like we did for our first time. Like how you talked us through it, you were sexy, you were careful, you looked after me, and I'm going to do it for you. I promise I'm going to keep you safe and comfortable."
"You'd wait?" Jinyoung asked, he was relieved. He wasn't ready to let the other do that to him honestly. He knew it would be the only thing he could do to make Jaebum accept that he really was feeling something for the boy, but he needed the other to believe him to give him a chance. He looked as Jaebum nodded, Jinyoung smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to Jaebum's lips.
"We're not having sex until you're ready for us to switch" Jaebum said with a warm smile, carefully moving Jinyoung's hair. "And I promise Jin, I won't write off your feelings." he said holding onto the other. "I know you feel something for me. But I want us to start our relationship as equals. I want to start as something different than the boy you fuck occassionally. I want to start as the boy you have feelings for, the boy you repect, the boy you might one day love. I want that for us." Jaebum said quietly.
"Can you not sleep with anyone else until we..." Jinyoung said quietly.
"I haven't slept with anyone but you since I gave Mark that blowjob, and before that it was really just Mark that one time." Jaebum said quietly. "You're the one who has been bringing people back and having them in the bathroom before kicking them out and getting into bed with me."
"Jae, I-"
"You thought I didn't know? You really aren't that subtle, nor are the girls. If you sleep with someone else, our deal is off." he said quietly. "And it won't matter how ready you are to switch, I won't be interested in doing anything with you." he said quietly. He knew this was it for them, if Jinyoung did something he was going to have to stop everything, he was going to have to accept that the other wasn't into him and he was going to have to move on. Which was easier said than done, but if he was going to tell Mark to put his foot down, he needed to do the same.
* 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 *
Mark sighed as Youngjae just laughed, "Hey this isn't funny, my roommate is bicurious and I am the centre of it. He wants to experiment with me, but I don't think I can do that. Not with me having feelings for him the way I do. I mean I want to be his boyfriend, I want to go on dates with him." Mark let out an exacerbated sound. "I'm sorry you don't want to hear me liking other guys, but fuck" he whined. Mark looked at Youngjae and then sighed again. "Sorry." he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
Youngjae laughed a little, "No it's ok." he shrugged, "I knew what I was getting into when I started liking you, I mean Jackson had this weird hold on you. Who else can get you all messed up this way. As much as I wish I could, I can't." Youngjae shrugged a little. "Look, you need to think about you. Don't worry about him. I mean if he wants you he's going to work it out. But don't go around getting hurt just so he can have some fun and try it out with a guy, you're canoeing, you're not a hobby. You're a boy. And you're beautiful Mark and you deserve the best. And yes I like you so I you are going to assume that I am just saying it because I like you. But that's not the case." Youngjae sighed a little, "look, I don't think you should be getting intimate with anyone right now. You're vulnerable." he sighed again.
"I'm not a piece of china Youngjae." Mark grumbled a little, "I just need something like a boundary I can put up against Jackson. I mean he kissed me again and it wasn't just a kiss, it was romantic and deep and-" Mark let out another frustrated noise. "I hate my life, I hate everything." he put his head on the table. He whined more when Youngjae gently patted the back of Mark's head.
"Jackson is just stubborn, he is stupidly protective of you. You know that's not normal for best friends right?" Youngjae sighed a little taking a sip of his latte. "Look Jackson is stubborn, he's fucking crazy but you love him and he loves you and sometimes you have to accept that your life partner is an asshole."
"I think I hate him." Mark mumbled.
"Yes but you love him in equal measure" Youngjae laughed. Mark sighed. "But hes so ridiculous you just cant see how much you love him because youre think about how hes been an asshole." Youngjae shrugged. "You know he is just as confused as hes making it for you."
Mark whined a little "I hate you too." Mark whined even more when Youngjae got up excusing himself to go to class.
* 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 *
Jaebum sighed looking at Mark. "So I think Im kinda dating Jinyoung." He said with a laugh "but hes confusing me. He doesnt want it to be gay. How can we date each other and it not be gay?" Jaebum looked at Mark "I mean everything about being with me is gay. I mean Im pansexual and hes who knows what he is. God I'm so fucked."
"He wants you guys to fuck." Mark laughed. "And thats more than I can say for Jackson." He smiled as he saw Jinyoung walk over and cover Jaebums eyes, before kissing his cheek.
"Im off to meet Jackson but I saw you two here and I couldnt resist." He said with a cheeky smile. "Have fun. See you later Jaebum." He said giving the other a quick peck to the lips. He walked over to the pub he was meeting Jackson in. "Hi Jacks" he said with a smile sitting down and then laughing. "So, I kinda have something to tell you."
"Yeah?" Jackson said, staring into his pint. "What is it?"
"So, I kinda..." Jinyoung looked down. "I'm dating Jaebum." He looked at Jackson. "I finally worked out, that I'm quite possibly in love with him, and the idea of him finding someone else makes me want to die." he smiled at Jackson. "So we're pretty much going out, well we're only sleeping with each other, I just need to prove to him that I'm, you know, really into him. But... It shouldn't be hard, I mean I really do feel like I'm doing the right thing by being with him and honestly, I know him better than he knows himself."
"So you're gay now?" Jackson said looking at him.
"No." Jinyoung sighed, "I'm Bisexual, or Pansexual, like Jaebum, or I don't know sexual. Jaebumsexual?" he shrugged. "Who cares." Jinyoung looked at Jackson who was saying nothing. "What, say something?"
"You've become gay."
"No. Jackson, I'm not gay." Jinyoung growled.
"You're in love with a guy, that's pretty gay."
"Jackson"
"You fuck a guy, that's gay" Jackson added.
"I fuck him, he doesn't fuck me." Jinyoung felt embarrassed, he didn't want to admit he was going to be taking it from Jaebum, not in front of Jackson.
"There's no real difference Jinyoung, it's all with a guy. and Jaebum's a great guy, I mean he's smart and if you saw the way he looked at you. It's gay. And that's cool or whatever, I mean Mark is gay, he only likes guys."
"Yes Jackson, I get what gay is." Jinyoung rolled his eyes, the other could be really dense sometimes. "So you'd let Mark put his... inside you?"
"You can say penis, or dick, or whatever you call that part that is hanging between Jaebum's legs. but no...I wouldn't let Mark fuck me. I just... It's not my style. I'm not a girl I don't need a dick in me."
"Right." he said quietly, looking down at the table. He bit his lip trying to decide if he was going to tell the other the condition Jaebum put on him. He sighed, "I'm not a girl, but Jaebum asked me to let him fuck me. And I'm going to let him." Jinyoung looked down at his hands. "I'll let him and who knows I might like it."
"Sorry but Jaebum is built like me, we look like you know the more manly one."
"Masculinity has nothing to do with this!" Jinyoung growled. "I am doing this because I trust him, because we have a connction, something that makes me think I don't care about who's the 'man' or not. I love him and I will let him do what he wants because I know he's going to try to make me feel good while he does." Jinyoung looked at him, and looked over when he heard someone clear their throat.
"You know you don't have to let me do that." Jaebum said, moving to give Jinyoung a kiss. It was romantic and it was everything that he'd craved. He moved to sit on Jinyoung and smiled when the other held him tightly, he rested his head on Jinyong's shoulder. Jackson raised an eyebrow, it looked odd. It would have looked more aesthetically pleasing if Jinyoung had been sat on Jaebum.
"You can be an asshole sometimes." Mark said, quietly. "I think it makes you more of a man if you're willing to try it." he sighed before turning and leaving. Jackson glared at the couple sat across from him.
"Don't look at me like that." Jinyoung sighed. "You were being an asshole, and he loves you, but he even he has to see your flaws." Jackson sighed getting up and walking off, Jinyoung looked at Jaebum, "I want to" he smiled "I want to let you do me."
Author: the_resolver
Fandom: Got7
Chapter: 9/?
Pairing: Mark/Jackson, Jinyoung/Jaebum, Mark/Youngjae
Rating: R
Warning: I curse a bit,
Summary: One summer, one kiss, one breath it took to make Mark realise how he felt his best friend and then to slowly have to watch his best friend push him away a bit. Starting university is hard enough but to feel like you've made the biggest mistake of your life is something else...
A/N:
Jaebum sighed when he looked at Jinyoung, he'd just come back from the library, which he'd run off to after their chat earlier, Jinyoung walked over and pressed a kiss to Jaebum's cheek. Jaebum moved a little "don't Jinyoung. I really don't want your lying lips on me." Jaebum said side eyeing him.
"Being on top really means that much to you?" Jinyoung sighed, "sex works for us the way we do it." He said quietly. "I don't see what being the receiver proves. I don't..."
"you don't think you could take a dick?" Jaebum sighed "you were my first. It will Jin, and I'm going to be careful with you. Don't you trust me?" Jaebum looked at his best friend. "I love you Jinyoung. I'm not going to do anything to harm you." Jaebum sighed and Jinyoung pulled him close and kissed him.
"We can try." Jinyoung said quietly. "I'm being genuine, about my feelings. I don't know what it means for us but I'm willing to try it for you." He said giving Jaebum another kiss. Jaebum held the other close, kissing back hard, not holding back for a change. He was going to show the other what it was like to be loved by him. He was going to make the other feel good, and he was going to do it on Jinyoung's time. There was no rush for them to have sex, and he didn't mind waiting, he just wanted the other to feel comfortable and relaxed with him. "I can't deal with us not..."
"is that why?" Jaebum mumbled. "Because if we do this, we can never be the same. We will never be the same if we start exploring feelings." He sighed "feelings make everything different. Us feeling for each other is going to make it hard." Jaebum sighed when he felt Jinyoung pull him close. "I don't want you doing this if you're unsure, or if you're going to regret us, or if this is just a joke or whatever, because I'm actually into you." Jaebum kissed Jinyoungs cheek. "Look Jin, we should cool it down and then you know when you're ready we'll talk it out like we did for our first time. Like how you talked us through it, you were sexy, you were careful, you looked after me, and I'm going to do it for you. I promise I'm going to keep you safe and comfortable."
"You'd wait?" Jinyoung asked, he was relieved. He wasn't ready to let the other do that to him honestly. He knew it would be the only thing he could do to make Jaebum accept that he really was feeling something for the boy, but he needed the other to believe him to give him a chance. He looked as Jaebum nodded, Jinyoung smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to Jaebum's lips.
"We're not having sex until you're ready for us to switch" Jaebum said with a warm smile, carefully moving Jinyoung's hair. "And I promise Jin, I won't write off your feelings." he said holding onto the other. "I know you feel something for me. But I want us to start our relationship as equals. I want to start as something different than the boy you fuck occassionally. I want to start as the boy you have feelings for, the boy you repect, the boy you might one day love. I want that for us." Jaebum said quietly.
"Can you not sleep with anyone else until we..." Jinyoung said quietly.
"I haven't slept with anyone but you since I gave Mark that blowjob, and before that it was really just Mark that one time." Jaebum said quietly. "You're the one who has been bringing people back and having them in the bathroom before kicking them out and getting into bed with me."
"Jae, I-"
"You thought I didn't know? You really aren't that subtle, nor are the girls. If you sleep with someone else, our deal is off." he said quietly. "And it won't matter how ready you are to switch, I won't be interested in doing anything with you." he said quietly. He knew this was it for them, if Jinyoung did something he was going to have to stop everything, he was going to have to accept that the other wasn't into him and he was going to have to move on. Which was easier said than done, but if he was going to tell Mark to put his foot down, he needed to do the same.
* 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 *
Mark sighed as Youngjae just laughed, "Hey this isn't funny, my roommate is bicurious and I am the centre of it. He wants to experiment with me, but I don't think I can do that. Not with me having feelings for him the way I do. I mean I want to be his boyfriend, I want to go on dates with him." Mark let out an exacerbated sound. "I'm sorry you don't want to hear me liking other guys, but fuck" he whined. Mark looked at Youngjae and then sighed again. "Sorry." he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
Youngjae laughed a little, "No it's ok." he shrugged, "I knew what I was getting into when I started liking you, I mean Jackson had this weird hold on you. Who else can get you all messed up this way. As much as I wish I could, I can't." Youngjae shrugged a little. "Look, you need to think about you. Don't worry about him. I mean if he wants you he's going to work it out. But don't go around getting hurt just so he can have some fun and try it out with a guy, you're canoeing, you're not a hobby. You're a boy. And you're beautiful Mark and you deserve the best. And yes I like you so I you are going to assume that I am just saying it because I like you. But that's not the case." Youngjae sighed a little, "look, I don't think you should be getting intimate with anyone right now. You're vulnerable." he sighed again.
"I'm not a piece of china Youngjae." Mark grumbled a little, "I just need something like a boundary I can put up against Jackson. I mean he kissed me again and it wasn't just a kiss, it was romantic and deep and-" Mark let out another frustrated noise. "I hate my life, I hate everything." he put his head on the table. He whined more when Youngjae gently patted the back of Mark's head.
"Jackson is just stubborn, he is stupidly protective of you. You know that's not normal for best friends right?" Youngjae sighed a little taking a sip of his latte. "Look Jackson is stubborn, he's fucking crazy but you love him and he loves you and sometimes you have to accept that your life partner is an asshole."
"I think I hate him." Mark mumbled.
"Yes but you love him in equal measure" Youngjae laughed. Mark sighed. "But hes so ridiculous you just cant see how much you love him because youre think about how hes been an asshole." Youngjae shrugged. "You know he is just as confused as hes making it for you."
Mark whined a little "I hate you too." Mark whined even more when Youngjae got up excusing himself to go to class.
* 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 * 프 *
Jaebum sighed looking at Mark. "So I think Im kinda dating Jinyoung." He said with a laugh "but hes confusing me. He doesnt want it to be gay. How can we date each other and it not be gay?" Jaebum looked at Mark "I mean everything about being with me is gay. I mean Im pansexual and hes who knows what he is. God I'm so fucked."
"He wants you guys to fuck." Mark laughed. "And thats more than I can say for Jackson." He smiled as he saw Jinyoung walk over and cover Jaebums eyes, before kissing his cheek.
"Im off to meet Jackson but I saw you two here and I couldnt resist." He said with a cheeky smile. "Have fun. See you later Jaebum." He said giving the other a quick peck to the lips. He walked over to the pub he was meeting Jackson in. "Hi Jacks" he said with a smile sitting down and then laughing. "So, I kinda have something to tell you."
"Yeah?" Jackson said, staring into his pint. "What is it?"
"So, I kinda..." Jinyoung looked down. "I'm dating Jaebum." He looked at Jackson. "I finally worked out, that I'm quite possibly in love with him, and the idea of him finding someone else makes me want to die." he smiled at Jackson. "So we're pretty much going out, well we're only sleeping with each other, I just need to prove to him that I'm, you know, really into him. But... It shouldn't be hard, I mean I really do feel like I'm doing the right thing by being with him and honestly, I know him better than he knows himself."
"So you're gay now?" Jackson said looking at him.
"No." Jinyoung sighed, "I'm Bisexual, or Pansexual, like Jaebum, or I don't know sexual. Jaebumsexual?" he shrugged. "Who cares." Jinyoung looked at Jackson who was saying nothing. "What, say something?"
"You've become gay."
"No. Jackson, I'm not gay." Jinyoung growled.
"You're in love with a guy, that's pretty gay."
"Jackson"
"You fuck a guy, that's gay" Jackson added.
"I fuck him, he doesn't fuck me." Jinyoung felt embarrassed, he didn't want to admit he was going to be taking it from Jaebum, not in front of Jackson.
"There's no real difference Jinyoung, it's all with a guy. and Jaebum's a great guy, I mean he's smart and if you saw the way he looked at you. It's gay. And that's cool or whatever, I mean Mark is gay, he only likes guys."
"Yes Jackson, I get what gay is." Jinyoung rolled his eyes, the other could be really dense sometimes. "So you'd let Mark put his... inside you?"
"You can say penis, or dick, or whatever you call that part that is hanging between Jaebum's legs. but no...I wouldn't let Mark fuck me. I just... It's not my style. I'm not a girl I don't need a dick in me."
"Right." he said quietly, looking down at the table. He bit his lip trying to decide if he was going to tell the other the condition Jaebum put on him. He sighed, "I'm not a girl, but Jaebum asked me to let him fuck me. And I'm going to let him." Jinyoung looked down at his hands. "I'll let him and who knows I might like it."
"Sorry but Jaebum is built like me, we look like you know the more manly one."
"Masculinity has nothing to do with this!" Jinyoung growled. "I am doing this because I trust him, because we have a connction, something that makes me think I don't care about who's the 'man' or not. I love him and I will let him do what he wants because I know he's going to try to make me feel good while he does." Jinyoung looked at him, and looked over when he heard someone clear their throat.
"You know you don't have to let me do that." Jaebum said, moving to give Jinyoung a kiss. It was romantic and it was everything that he'd craved. He moved to sit on Jinyoung and smiled when the other held him tightly, he rested his head on Jinyong's shoulder. Jackson raised an eyebrow, it looked odd. It would have looked more aesthetically pleasing if Jinyoung had been sat on Jaebum.
"You can be an asshole sometimes." Mark said, quietly. "I think it makes you more of a man if you're willing to try it." he sighed before turning and leaving. Jackson glared at the couple sat across from him.
"Don't look at me like that." Jinyoung sighed. "You were being an asshole, and he loves you, but he even he has to see your flaws." Jackson sighed getting up and walking off, Jinyoung looked at Jaebum, "I want to" he smiled "I want to let you do me."