Nothing In This World... (6/?)

Jul 19, 2014 00:00

Title: Nothing In This World
Author: the_resolver
Fandom: Got7
Chapter: 6/?
Pairing: Mark/Jackson, Jinyoung/Jaebum, Mark/Youngjae
Rating: R
Warning: I curse a bit, sexual scene
Summary: One summer, one kiss, one breath it took to make Mark realise how he felt his best friend and then to slowly have to watch his best friend push him away a bit. Starting university is hard enough but to feel like you've made the biggest mistake of your life is something else...
A/N:

Mark and Jackson weren’t really talking, they were just both sat on Mark’s bed. Jackson had his arm around Mark and Mark was resting his head on Jackson’s chest. Jackson looked at Mark and then sighed. “Mark” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I kissed you.” Mark just kept quiet. “I don’t really understand why I kissed you. We were sat there and you needed to tell me something and then my lips just fell onto yours and we kissed, and it wasn’t like when he made out, but it was something.” Mark stayed quiet and just moved to lay his head on Jackson’s lap. “From now on I’ll be more careful.” Mark nodded.

“No more kisses.” Mark said, moving Jackson’s hand to rest on his stomach. “I’ve got a tummy ache, rub it.” He whined a little, and Jackson smiled doing as he was told. Mark smiled up at him. “Jackson. Are you sure you’re not bisexual?” he mumbled. “I just want you to know that if you aren’t sure and you’re confused or you want to work out why you kissed me. I’m here and we can work it out together, even if you’re straight and were just confused.” Jackson just continued rubbing Mark’s stomach. “I just want you to be happy and secure, and last night you were neither.” Mark said quietly.

“Your stomach’s really tight.” Jackson said quietly, as he rubbed Mark’s stomach more. “I don’t know Mark. I don’t know how to be anything other than straight.” Jackson looked down at Mark, who’s eyes were closed and was making soft little sounds when Jackson put pressure on his stomach to try to relieve the tension. “Do you need to puke?” Jackson said quietly. “I can keep rubbing your tummy if you need to and we can sit in the bathroom.” Mark nodded and followed Jackson into the bathroom. After Mark had puked, Jackson cleaned up around the boy’s mouth and gave him a glass of water. “And what have we learnt about drinking?” Jackson laughed as Mark hid his face against Jackson’s chest. “You always get like this after drinking.”

“My tummy still hurts.” Mark whined, and Jackson continued rubbing it. “You’re really my best friend.” He said quietly. “I wanna go to sleep.” Mark said quietly and Jackson laughed, getting Mark into bed and lying next to him - not that he had a choice, Mark had pretty much dragged him in the bed. “Do you think Jae and Jin will make up?” Mark said quietly, “I feel really bad about it.” He closed his eyes and rested against Jackson. “I’m a homewrecking slut.”

“Ok, Mark.” Jackson sighed. “I didn’t mean it when I said anything along those lines. You aren’t a home-wrecker, Jinyoung and Jaebum barely have a relationship. And you aren’t a slut.” Jackson said quietly. “Don’t feel bad about them, they fight like this all the time.” Jackson smiled as Mark rested more against him, he was beginning to settle down. “You know Jaebum and Jinyoung they’ll be fine in no time.”

“It’s different this time Jacks…

*~*~*~*~*

Jaebum looked at Jinyoung who was sleeping. They were naked, Jaebum's legs were wrapped around Jinyoung's waist and Jinyoung was still holding him close. Jaebum sighed as he felt Jinyoung waking up. Jinyoung kissed Jaebum gently and Jaebum smiled against the lips. "How are you feeling?" Jinyoung said quietly. "We should talk about sex" he shifted, keeping Jaebum's legs where they are. "You know feelings and conditions." Jinyoung kissed Jaebum again.

"What is there to say?" Jaebum closed his eyes "you put your dick in my butt. You thrust it a bit and then come into a condom." Jaebum shrugged "you need a little bit more lube, and I hope you finger girls better." Jaebum looked at Jinyoung before he kissed him hard. Jinyoung just looked at him "I wanted to see how you would react." He mumbled, before he found Jinyoung moving to kiss him hard, moving so Jaebum was under him as they kissed. Jinyoung stopped for a second and looked down at the boy. Jaebum blushed a little, and then smiled as Jinyoung kissed him slowly, Jaebum held him close.

"We need to talk." Jinyoung said looking at Jaebum "I really think we need to talk."

"Sex is sex Jinyoung. This is the second time."

"Jaebum. The first time we planned it. This was just spur of the moment. It was different. It,.. It felt like you and me..."

"Jinyoung?" Jaebum said quietly. "Are you ok?" Jinyoung just looked at the boy. "Jin. Do you regret this?"

"No." Jaebum just watched Jinyoung. "How did you know you liked boys and girls?"

"Do you have to ask while we're naked? Your dick is resting on me." Jaebum smiled as Jinyoung moved off him and pulled boxers on. "I just got feelings for both. I thought I was gay at first but then I worked it out." Jaebum smiled at Jinyoung "you alright Jin?"

"Yeah. I don't know what's going on with me. I must have low blood sugar." Jinyoung smiled at Jaebum. "You know how I can get." Jinyoung pulled more clothes on and then walked out. Jaebum texted Mark and then pulled on some loose sweatpants. He smiled when Mark walked in.

"Do you really think having sex with him was a good idea?"

"He was a little rough and it's a bit swollen." Jaebum shrugged.

"I didn't mean your butt. I meant with how you feel." Mark sighed "you love him."

"And you wouldn't have sex with Jackson if he was horny and actually fucking wanted you for once? Please tell me you wouldn't." Jaebum sighed and looked at Mark. "If you saw the way he looked at me, you'd understand. He, well he has this look and it makes me feel like the only guy in the world. He makes me feel special sometimes, and if that is before, after or during sex then I don't care. It was only our second time, and he didn't leave, until I kinda made him awkward."

"You mean he realised you were a boy." Mark eyed Jaebum. "I don't understand how you're doing this. I wouldn't sleep with Jackson unless he was one hundered percent sure he felt something for me. That he might at least love me. Because I deserve love, and you deserve someone loving you and not just fucking you."

"It's as close to loving me as he gets Mark." Jaebum looked at the other. "You can say you wont, but one day when you realise it's the only way you will ever get to feel anything from him, you will have sex with Jackson." Jaebum looked down. "I may love Jinyoung, but I know he doesn't love me, and if he wants to have sex with me, and then afterwards we kiss a bit and he just looks at me like we might be something, I want to pretend, because it fucking hurts. OK. It hurts to love him."

"Why have you never told him you love him?"

"Because, he's not ready to hear it. He believes we're just best friends who slept together."

"Except you've done it twice now." Mark looked at Jaebum. "Jae, please. It isn't good for you."

"You're not my mom" JB sighed and then sat down on the bed. "I need this Mark. I need to feel like he might feel something, or else he is just fucking with me, with the romantic actions he does, when he holds my hand, when he puts his arm around my waist when we go to a party. Because if he doesn't feel something this is a fucking sick joke."

Mark sat next to JB and put his arm around him. "if it was me and Jackson you'd be telling me not to do it, you know."

*~*~*~*~*

JB sighed, he was getting ready to go to a party and Jinyoung was pretty much silent as he too got ready. Jaebum turned to Jinyoung. "Jin, are we ok?" he said quietly. Jinyoung nodded. "Do you want me to reject you next time you want to sleep with me?" Jinyoung shook his head. "Can you please just talk to me."

"Jae you said it yourself, it's just sex." Jinyoung turned and looked at Jaebum. "I really needed to talk to you after, I needed you Jae." Jinyoung looked down. "But you made a fucking joke out of it. Out of what we do." Jinyoung stepped closer to Jaebum. "But I worked it out for myself. Hurry and get ready, Jackson and Mark are already there." Jaebum got ready quietly, and then the pair walked in silence. They smiled when they saw Jackson and Mark, Mark was looking good, like he was happy. Jackson and Mark went off into the crowd as did Jaebum.

Jaebum smiled as he was dancing with a girl, grinding against her as she pulled him down for a kiss. He was getting ready to take her home when Jinyoung grabbed his wrist. 'I need you." Jinyoung said, dragging Jaebum away. Jaebum felt his heart get ready to burst. He'd never heard Jinyoung say anything like that. When they left the venue he noticed that Mark was sat on the steps crying. It hit Jaebum, Jinyoung didn't need him, he needed him to look after Mark. "Jackson, Jackson was kissing another man." Jinyoung whispered.

Jaebum moved and wrapped his arms around Mark, who turned to cry onto him. "It's not even sexuality it's just me isn't it." Jaebum rubbed Mark's back and rocked him gently. "I don't know if it hurts more this way." he cried harder as Jaebum looked at Jinyoung, telling him to go hunt down Jackson. "How do you live loving Jinyoung?" Mark asked sobbing onto Jaebum, who was just praying that Jinyoung hadn't heard.

*~*~*~*~*

Jinyoung found Jackson who was sat on his own, outside Jinyoung's room. Jackson looked up and sighed at Jinyoung. "I assumed Mark would be sleeping with you tonight." Jackson sighed and Jinyoung sat down next to him. "I can explain you know, he was all over Youngjae again, I thought they were done you know, but they were grinding, so I just, I kissed that guy, to stop Mark dancing with Youngjae." Jackson looked down. "I knew he'd leave the party. I also wanted to find out."

"Find out?"

"If I might like guys." Jackson said and then looked at Jinyoung. "How did you have sex with Jaebum, not liking guys? How did you get it up?" Jackson sighed. "That guy really didn't do it for me."

"So you're not into men?" Jinyoung shrugged. "Jaebum's the only one. Never thought of another guy, I thought I might, like him, romantically earlier. But it passed. I thought it all through." Jinyoung looked down and then played with his hands. "I just want to tell you, you're hurting Mark, he's sobbing in Jaebum's arms right now. He thinks you told him you were straight because you didn't like him, not because you're actually straight. Jacks, if you want to experiment you need to tell him before. You can't just kiss men in front of him and expect him to be ok."

"You better walk the fuck away now Jackson." Jaebum said as he walked over to them. "I can't believe you." Jaebum said unlocking the door, and then the two sat on the floor, watched as Youngjae came over carrying Mark. The red head curled into him, having at some point cried into Youngjae and then just gone silent. Youngjae was pretty sure he was still awake. "Put him down on the bed in the left." Jaebum said and then looked at Youngjae. "You can stay. He's really hurting." Youngjae nodded, and put Mark down in the bed and tucked him in.

Youngjae looked at Jackson and then walked over to him. "If he loved me the way he loves you, I would never ever do that to him. At least you've really fucked it up this time. He might have forgiven you before, but you've finally done it Jackson, you finally broke his heart. He can't take you anymore." Youngjae looked down. "I care for him, I have never seen someone so broken. Congratulations, you fucking win." Youngjae went back in the room and got in next to Mark, wrapping his arms around the red head.

Jaebum looked at Jackson. "I thought you were going to stop fucking with his head." Jaebum looked down. "I thought, you know what, I hoped, I really hoped you'd be good to him. I hoped you'd find a girl and he'd accept you were straight, or you'd get over your need to fit the fucking gender binary, and love him. I never thought you'd do this. You aren't Jinyoung and he isn't me. You cannot just keep messing with his head and expect him to still love you. Mark deserves better. He wants better."

Jackson looked at Jaebum. "I can't... I can explain. I wanted to see if it was men. or Mark. or I don't know Jaebum." Jackson looked at Jinyoung for support. "I thought I could work out what was going on. I was jealous he was dancing with Youngjae, I don't understand what's happening. I'm straight."

"You can go and be straight now. I'm going to go pick up the pieces." Jaebum said and then sighed. "You best be sure this is it, because he will never forget how much tonight hurt. He will never let you close enough to do this, and he will never love you again. And if he ever thinks he might want to give you a chance. I will personally make sure you never get one. Because I will not watch you break him down time after fucking time Jackson. Let him be with Youngjae, let him find someone that actually fucking loves him and isn't hung up on the fact that he has a penis to notice how Mark feels and how they feel." Jaebum looked at Jackson. "What kind of man are you? Afraid to love someone." He scoffed and went into his room.

"Jin." Jackson said quietly.

"It's best to leave it Jackson, Jaebum will cool off. You need to work on what you're going to say to Mark, and it has to be good."

pairing:mark/jackson, rating:r, !fanfic, nothing in the world, fandom:got7, !au, pairing:jinyoung/jaebum, pairing:youngjae/mark

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