Grey
I glanced out the window and noticed the slate coloured clouds weeping slowly, deliberately on the city. The only way I can ever remember cleveland is in the dull shade of remorseless steel. A colour that singularly represents depression and endurance. Maybe I've never been homesick because grey skies remind me of home, and no matter where you go sooner or later the sky turns grey. Even if only for a moment.
But I digress.
It was in this moment when I suddenly remembered why I stopped letting emotion touch me, oh so many years ago. I felt, in my mind, the warm body pressed against me. Her back curved, fingers clutching at something, anything.
No.
I thought for a moment. Searched, perhaps pleaded, for something noble; something all consuming, terrible yet beautiful. Something to dedicate myself to. A goal, a cause, a crusade. Something that is destructive to the devotee, yet beautiful, pure.
I found nothing.
Emptiness. Nietzsche's abyss. Stare to long and... but I have. I recalled, for a moment, what it is like to feel, really feel. And I recalled the drug ecstasy, which gives incredible bliss. The problem is that all things come at a price. Ecstasy releases so much saratonin that your body cannot release any later on.
Feel to much and you lose the ability to feel.
Who ever said "it is better to have loved and lost..." was a fool. If he had ever loved he'd have known...
The clouds are still grey.
They are always grey in cleveland.
But I digress.
It was in this moment when I suddenly remembered why I stopped letting emotion touch me, oh so many years ago. I felt, in my mind, the warm body pressed against me. Her back curved, fingers clutching at something, anything.
No.
I thought for a moment. Searched, perhaps pleaded, for something noble; something all consuming, terrible yet beautiful. Something to dedicate myself to. A goal, a cause, a crusade. Something that is destructive to the devotee, yet beautiful, pure.
I found nothing.
Emptiness. Nietzsche's abyss. Stare to long and... but I have. I recalled, for a moment, what it is like to feel, really feel. And I recalled the drug ecstasy, which gives incredible bliss. The problem is that all things come at a price. Ecstasy releases so much saratonin that your body cannot release any later on.
Feel to much and you lose the ability to feel.
Who ever said "it is better to have loved and lost..." was a fool. If he had ever loved he'd have known...
The clouds are still grey.
They are always grey in cleveland.