What's Knot Got To Do With It {3/3}
Jensen sucked in a breath a little sharper than he’d intended and held it for, one, two, three, cupping the back of his neck as he sighed. He checked his phone again. Still nothing. Not that he’d miss it if there was. He’d checked and re-checked and then checked again that the volume was working. He’d text Jared when he got in, hopping into the shower after he’d gotten Jared’s response, and he’d planned on calling Jared once he felt more human again.
But Jared wasn’t answering.
No.
Jared had switched off his phone. And of course they didn’t have a landline. Who had a landline anymore? Something Jensen was seriously going to have to reconsider. And he’d already gone through all the plausible scenarios. Maybe Jared hit the wrong button? Maybe he had a call from someone else? Or maybe his phone had just died?
But there was no ringing out, or busy tone and Jared had never let his phone run out of juice in ever. And even if it did, he would just plug it in to keep on using it.
Something was wrong. But Jensen didn’t know what. Things had been going great between them. Better than, even. They were finally together the way that perhaps they always should have been. But apparently Jensen had missed something. And fuck. Because he had to get up at the ass crack of dawn the following morning, but he was too keyed up to even think about going to sleep. So he got dressed and met up with Rob and Jason. They’d invited him out anyway, they were doing a very low key gig at a club, and he had had to turn them down. He could adult responsibly on occasion. Tonight wasn’t going to be such an occasion.
He had just set down his drink, when lo and behold, “Genevieve,” he got up immediately and put his arms around her, and was relieved when she hugged back, “Hey, Jensen.”
He kept a hold of her as he pulled back enough to see her face, “Gen. I am so sorry.”
“You know, you don’t have to say that every time you see me.”
Jensen gave her a lopsided smile, “Feel like I do.”
“Feelings are overrated.”
They both snorted at that and Jensen had offered to buy her a drink and they talked for a little while. She was actually in Vancouver to audition for a couple of roles, but she thought she’d come out and support their friends. Which didn’t make Jensen feel like any less of an asshole. But Genevieve wasn’t having it.
“I think I’ll feel better once everything is finalised. We all will.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said. That was what he wanted for them all too. They all needed to move forward. And hopefully Jared’s way forward still included Jensen.
It wasn’t ‘til a few days later that Jared finally switched his phone back on and he was inundated with messages both text and voice. He was sitting by Jensen’s pool -their pool now as Jensen kept reminding him- and naturally he hit Jensen’s name first and started to scroll through the messages. Immediately feeling guilty for cutting him off. Cutting him out. Jensen was worried about him. Shit. And double shit as he read the second to last text Jensen had sent him. It was a reminder that Danneel was supposed to be coming by to pick up the rest of her stuff. Jared had promised Jensen that he would clear out so she could have the time to herself.
He was already up and back inside but it was too late, she was turning her key in the door, “Jared,” she said with a note of surprise.
“If you want me to go-”
She arched an eyebrow at him, “You really think I would make you leave? I did tell Jensen that was unnecessary, but you know what he’s like.”
Jared gave a half-hearted shrug and she smiled with a shake of her head and then suddenly she was hugging him. The emotion rose up in him so fast he almost didn’t have the time to choke it back. He dropped his head to hers, and he held on tight, “I’m sorry-”
“Jared. Honey,” she gave him an extra squeeze before pulling back a little, and he did the same, though she kept a hold of his arms, “Come on. Let’s sit down. Hmm?”
He nodded and let her guide him to the couch, “So, you want to tell me what’s going on?”
“He called you. Didn’t he?”
Danneel gave him a shrug of her own, small smile still on her lips, “I was in the neighbourhood.”
“Look, you don’t have to-”
“I don’t have to what? Care about you? You think I could just switch that off?”
“You should be mad at me.”
“I was. But I’ve had a lot time to think about it all now and I’ve moved past it. We were friends, Jared. And I hope we still can be. Because I do still care. So if I can help you out-”
Jared just nodded.
“Tell me,” she said quietly as she cupped his knee.
“I feel like-. I don’t know what I feel. Everything’s just so screwed, like I’m living someone else’s life, and I can ignore it when I’m with Jensen, but it’s like I have this pit inside, and it keeps getting darker and darker, and it hurts, Danni. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want them to disown me.”
Danneel bit her lip, and she took his hands, “Jared, no one’s going to disown you. Your family loves you. You know that. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear right now, but this feeling? You are the warmest and most open person I have ever known, and I don’t think it’s going to go away. Not until you come clean. It’s the secrets. All the secrets and having to hide the one thing that makes you happiest in this world,” and she gave his hands a squeeze with a smile, “You’ve always been a shout it from the rooftops kind of guy.”
He huffed a laugh at that. She was right. But then there was also the other thing, “I’m pregnant.”
Her eyebrows shot up, “You’re what?”
“I found out,” and he gulped a little, “The day Jensen went back up to Vancouver.”
And she seemed to let that mull over for a bit in her head as she let it sink in, closing her eyes as she shook her head a little, “What do you want to do about it? Were you gonna-?”
“No.” he said a lot more firmly than he’d expected, and he gave her an apologetic look, “I don’t know.”
“It’s your body. Your choice-”
“I know. But I don’t think I’d feel right about it.”
She smiled a little, “Well then I guess you’re already decided. Though I would be remiss if I didn’t say I think you need to talk to Jensen about it.”
“I know.” And he was pretty sure he already knew how Jensen would take the news.
“He loves you, Jare, he’ll support you no matter what.”
Under regular circumstances Jared would back that one hundred percent, but with this?
“Hey,” she must have seen his doubt because she gave his hand an extra squeeze, “You can always call me.”
“Thanks, Danni.”
Jared and Danneel talked a while more and he helped her pack up her things. And she’d very gently reminded him that Jensen wasn’t the only one who had wanted kids. Jared had wanted them to. He still did. Hands settling on his still flat abdomen. He’d just never thought about having them like this. It wasn’t too long after she’d gone that he booked his flight for Vancouver. He had to talk to Jensen before they started shooting. At first he’d thought that maybe he should wait ‘til after Jensen was finished directing. But that would probably quite literally drive him nuts and it wouldn’t be fair on either of them.
And he knew he’d made the right call when he got on location. Jensen had stopped mid-sentence and zeroed right in on Jared, pulling him into a bone crushing hug, which lasted a whole lot longer than Jensen would typically hug him for when they were in front of the crew. It had been a while since Jared had seen him so happy. Jared just clung back, didn’t let go until Jensen did.
Jared watched Jensen’s tongue as it swept out over his bottom lip, teeth worrying the corner, and Jensen shook his head, dragging the heel of his palm across his brow, “Uh, sorry, guys,” he said loudly enough for the crew to hear and then let his voice drop back down to say, “Jared.”
“It’s okay. I’ll go. Just wanted you to know that I’m here. We can talk tonight.”
Jensen smiled, “Thank you.”
Jared clapped Jensen’s shoulder and then he let him get back to work. He went back to their apartment to have a lie down, wasn’t like there was much else to do except wait. Sleeping was definitely the best way to go and he didn’t wake back up until about dinner time. Jensen wasn’t home yet but he couldn’t stay in bed a second longer.
There wasn’t much in the way of actual food in the apartment, so he ended up having half a bag of chips and a couple of pop tarts. He’d have to go grocery shopping in the morning. Get things of actual nutritional value.
He was going to have a baby. A baby that was going to grow inside him. In honesty he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. Didn’t seem like that was about to happen any time soon either. But it didn’t feel like the end of the world anymore. Sleeping had helped. And Danneel was right. Didn’t mean he’d stopped freaking the fuck out. The sooner Jensen got home the better.
But however soon it was wasn’t soon enough. Jared was near enough bouncing off the walls by the time Jensen did come through the door. The two sharing the kiss they didn’t get to share earlier and they both laughed when Jared’s stomach growled as the heavenly scent of whatever takeout Jensen had gotten for them hit his nostrils, “God, I love you.”
Jensen knocked his knuckles into Jared’s shoulder with a laugh, “Love you too, Dork.”
They sat out on the balcony to eat and they shared a lounger, Jensen sitting in the v of Jared’s legs, the food sat between Jensen’s, and was easy enough for Jared to get to. Every so often Jensen would hold his chopsticks back to Jared’s mouth so that he could try some of Jensen’s too.
Jensen had also got them beer. Jared had picked up his bottle a half dozen times, almost took a sip twice before he caught himself. He was getting kind of thirsty now. Would probably have to get up soon. And he kind of absently started picking at the label with his thumb.
“You’re not drinking?” Jensen asked.
Jared nodded, he could do this, “Kinda what I need to talk to you about. Can we-”
And Jensen started to move before Jared even finished the thought, “Yeah, sure. Of course,” shifting the cartons out of the way so that they could sit side by side, “So…?”
“I’m pregnant. And Christ I still feel stupid as hell saying it-”
“How-. When-?”
“The day you came up here. I hadn’t gone into heat,” and Jared ducked his head down, “So I went to the doctor. He ran some tests. And he told me.”
“And what did you-. Wait. Who did you tell?”
“Danni. She managed to talk some sense into me.”
Jensen smiled, unshed tears glistening in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. He was leaving the ball in Jared’s court. Probably too fearful to hope. Fuck, Jared was still borderline petrified. But here he was staring into the face of the man he loved more than he’d ever loved another soul, “So. I guess we’re having a baby.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Jared smiled.
“You really mean it?”
“I want to raise a family with you.”
After they had wrapped that episode and Jensen had hung up his director’s hat for the season, they decided to share the news together. They had called Genevieve and had invited her over for the following day so that they could talk. She had a right to know before they shared it with the rest of their close friends and family. She had cried a little, but Genevieve was every bit as classy a lady as Danneel. And they finally told their parents the whole truth. Then they had to tell their managers and the writers and the crew and the network. And then of course they had to release a statement in regards to their divorces and the change in their relationship status, and requesting that the respect for their privacy, for Danneel’s and Genevieve’s and their families privacy to be upheld.
The writers and network were on board with incorporating Jared’s pregnancy into Sam’s storyline. Something about a succubus with seashorse biology, Jared was sure it would all come together. He was also sure that there would be someone somewhere yelling at a screen that they should just finally embrace the Wincest and have Sam be pregnant with Dean’s baby. And well fuck it. Maybe they should. But something told him the network wouldn’t go for it.
A couple of months down the line. Jared was feeling really incredibly horny and yet also so very not sexy, his pecs felt too tight and too sensitive and he was rocking one hell of a baby bump. He quite literally looked and felt like a blimp. Apparently he was having twins. So Jensen was fully responsible for making him feel better since he got him into this state. Jensen had to film some action scene that Jared was too pregnant to be a part of or whatever. So Jared was waiting for him in their trailer.
He would have stayed on set to watch but his feet started to hurt if he stood up for too long and those little director-y chairs were too uncomfortable, and he just knew if he even tried sitting in one he’d probably just end up on his ass. He swiped his finger through the plate of frosting the craft services had given him, sucking it off. And it was the good stuff, like fresh from a bakery and not that tinned crap. He’d only been half-surprised when Jensen hadn’t confiscated it. He was very adorably concerned with Jared eating all the right kinds of things. But he was usually good about letting him indulge when he needed to.
As soon as he sensed Jensen approaching the trailer he started to smile. And Jensen crawled right onto the bed, leaning down to kiss Jared’s cheek before slotting in behind him. And Jensen reached around taking a double fingered scoop of frosting for himself, “Mmm,” and he nosed at the nape of Jared’s neck, “You’re not gonna make me lick that off of you are you?”
“What so you can eat it all?” Jared snorted in an ain’t gonna happen kind of way, but then he shook his head, “Don’t want to get sticky.”
Jensen chuckled at that, “Well then how am I supposed to help you out?” planting an opened mouth kiss on Jared’s exposed shoulder.
“Ha, ha,” Jared said very unamused, “Can you just put it in me already?”
“Be still my heart. Oh wait, it is. Aren’t you even gonna take your clothes off first?”
Jared’s nose scrunched, he really wasn’t feeling it, “I mean it isn’t really necessary that we be fully unclothed right?”
“Jay-”
“Jensen. Please. I’m all massive and gross, and-” he kind of mumbled the rest of what he had to say as quickly as possible, already knowing Jensen wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“I don’t want you to see me.”
Jensen thumped his arm.
“Ow.”
“Dumbass,” Jensen pushed himself up, picking up the plate of frosting as he went to set it aside so that he could lie face to face with his husband to be, and Jared took hold of the hand Jensen placed on his cheek, “You’re the most beautiful man I ever laid eyes on,” Jared smiled into the kiss Jensen gave him, despite himself, “And you’re not gross...well, mostly.”
Jared punching Jensen in the shoulder this time, but Jensen just put his hands on Jared’s belly, scooching down the bed to get his face as close as possible, “Hey, Babies,” and he gave Jared’s belly two kisses, one for each, “Mommy-Daddy is being very silly, isn’t he?”
“They’re not calling me that.”
“Well, we’ll work something out.”
“I mean it, Jensen,” and he meant to sound stern, but Jensen had lifted his shirt, and was pressing little butterfly kisses all over his bump, Jensen’s lips and Dean’s scruff tickling him, “Hmm…what about Daddy-Jared?” Jensen rumbled against his skin, and Jared cupped the back of Jensen’s neck.
“Better.” but he hissed when the scrunched up material dragged over his nipples.
“Sorry, Babe,” Jensen gave him an apologetic smile, and he knelt up, knocking Jared’s fingers with his own, so that he could thread their fingers together, their hands resting on top of Jared’s belly, “Are you gonna let me love all of you now?”
Jared sighed, “Okay. Yes. Just. Don’t touch my chest.”
“Promise,” Jensen kissed just under Jared’s jaw, below his ear, and then he pulled Jared’s shirt off over his head for him. Jared watched him intently as he slid off the bed to divest himself of Dean’s clothes. Watched the love and lust war in Jensen’s eyes as he stared right back. Jensen’s hand closing round Jared’s ankle and he tugged off Jared’s pyjama bottoms, and he allowed Jensen to rearrange him into a more optimal position. He loved when Jensen just took control.
All the heat pinned to the curve of his hip as Jensen took hold, slotting back into place behind him, “God, I love you, Jay,” hips snapping forward, easily sheathing himself in Jared’s heat.
Jared swallowed a moan, “Love you too.”
-The End.