Worth The Wait: Chapter Five and Epilogue
Jensen paced back and forth in front of the couch.
He kissed me.
Chris was just sitting, tuning his guitar. He’d just had it restrung. The band had a gig that night. Jensen of course had offered his own guitar to Chris, not like he was using it anyway, but Chris wouldn’t have it.
Jared kissed me.
Jensen didn’t know how to process that. It was just so sudden. They had been talking, goofing around and then…
“He kissed me,” he finally said out loud.
And as cool as anything, without even having to look up Chris said, “So Jared, right?”
Which stunned Jensen for a moment, “How-”
Chris looked up then and set his guitar to the side, “Jensen, come on, man. Who else do you hang out with lately?”
“I still hang out with you and-” Jensen started, just a tad defensive, but Chris headed him off at the pass again, holding up his hands.
“Yeah. You do. But that’s not what I meant.”
Well Jensen wasn’t sure what exactly he did mean, but at any rate, “We’re just good friends,” and Jensen really didn’t want to lose that.
“You are,” Chris said with a nod, but Jensen could feel whatever it was Chris hadn’t said, even if he didn’t know what it was.
“Why would he want to kiss me?” There had to be plenty of other guys out there better suited to Jared. Jensen was just…Jensen.
But Chris just gave him the eyebrow in a you’re not really gonna make me answer that kind of way.
Jensen scratched the back of his neck. Could Jared really be attracted to him?
"Well did you like it?"
"Like what?"
"The kiss. You know, before you high tailed it."
Jensen let his head drop to the side, touching his lips as he actually thought back to before. To the kiss. That little smile on Jared’s lips that melted into a full blown grin just before he’d leaned in. Jensen had been drawn to it, to Jared. He’d felt…he didn’t know exactly what, but he felt it and he’d let himself feel it in that moment. “Yeah. I liked it.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
Jensen could feel the knots forming in the pit of his stomach. He liked Jared. And the kiss…what if Jared hadn’t liked it? Or maybe he’d be pissed that Jensen had essentially rejected him by running away…
Jensen blinked at the sound of Chris’s voice, “I think you should talk to him.”
Right. Talk. He could do that.
Jared was lying down on Danneel’s bed, his head in her lap, “I’m such a fucking idiot!” he said for what had to be the millionth time. There had been pacing and smacking his own head repeatedly but Danneel had put a stop to that.
“Jared,” she admonished, fingers pausing in their path through his hair, “You’re not an idiot!”
Maybe not. But that didn’t stop him from feeling like one, “It was too soon,” and he pushed himself up to sit next to her, his head falling to her shoulder, “But fuck, I just wanted it so bad. And now I’ve ruined everything.”
“Everything? Really?”
“What if he never wants to speak to me again?”
“Jared, come on, I think you just took him by surprise. He probably just needs time to process.”
“And what if the processing comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t want me in his life?”
“Well then he’d be a major bonehead.”
“Danni-”
“Jared. I don’t think Jensen’s that kind of guy. And you don’t either. Chris thinks you have a shot right? And I’ve seen the way Jensen looks at you. He always perks up a little when your name is dropped in the conversation. And don’t even get me started on when you’re actually together.”
“I thought you wanted me to err on the side of caution and be open to moving on?”
“Yeah, well what can I say?” she shrugged with a smile, “I totally ship you guys.”
Jared kind of half-snorted with the hint of a chuckle as he shook his head, "Okay, but if I find out you're writing fic about me, we so can't be friends anymore."
“You wish you were so interesting.”
“I’m plenty interesting.”
Danneel held up finger, “But do you have a cult following?”
Jared had only just been able to get to sleep the night before and he had wakened way earlier than he normally would have, but he didn’t get up right away. He was in Danneel’s bed, arms wrapped around her, her head resting on his chest. It didn’t escape him how beautiful she was or how easily she fit against him or how much simpler everything would be if they could just be together. He did love her. But not like that. Jared had never had any doubts that he was gay. He just knew. Just like he knew that he wanted to be with Jensen.
But Jared had been prepared to just act as if nothing had happened when he saw Jensen again. Whenever he saw him again. He hadn’t thought it would be so soon, never mind the next day but regardless he had headed straight for the coffee shop after he left Danneel’s. Just in case. And there he was, walking right towards him. They’d barely said hey to one another when Jensen just blurted out an apology.
But Jared still didn’t really want to make a big deal out of it, he didn’t want to make Jensen feel uncomfortable around him, “You don’t have to-”
“No. I want to. I shouldn’t have run off like that-”
“It was my fault. I-”
“I like you Jared. A lot. But I’ve never done this before. With a guy,” Jensen bit his lip, eyes flicking down to the ground. A flush crept up round his neck as he looked back up into Jared’s eyes, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was about to say, but he said it anyway, “You give me butterflies.”
Jared was glad when he did and he smiled wide, dimples at full force on his cheeks, “Well I like you a lot too. And,” he said taking Jensen’s hands, he didn’t want to freak him out with the other L word, and good god did he want to kiss him, “Whatever speed you want to set? I’ll go the limit.”
“Jared-”
“Feel free to write me a ticket if I go over.”
They both huffed a laugh, Jared shook his head and Jensen gave Jared’s hands a squeeze as he took a deep breath, “You mean it?”
“I do.”
They stared at each other for a moment.
“Walk me to class?” Jensen asked.
“Sure. I can do that.”
They dropped one set of hands but kept holding the other, and when they got to Jensen’s class the older boy placed a kiss on Jared’s cheek before they parted ways. Which made Jared feel a ridiculous amount of happy. He might even have gone so far as to say giddy. Not that you would find him skipping any time soon. But the feeling was there. He had to tell Danneel.
Jensen had felt nervous, but the good kind of nervous, when he’d been waiting on Jared so they could go on their first official date. If you wanted to get persnickity -Danneel- he supposed you could say they had been on a few unofficial dates. Either way they still didn’t count in Jared’s or Jensen’s book. They were going to an art gallery, there was a photography exhibit that Jensen had wanted to see and Jared had seemed pretty happy with that too. And any kind of nerves Jensen had had melted away the instant he saw Jared.
On their way to the exhibition room, they had spotted one of the guided tours for the main gallery and they’d snuck onto the back of it. And they’d had to slink back out of it almost immediately from fear of being asked to leave, neither of them able to keep a straight face. Jensen much preferred to take his own impressions from art anyway. Hold the pretention.
Putting on his best and yet still tragically awful posh English accent right alongside Jared for a painting or two was definitely a highlight of the day. He loved that he could be dorky with him. Jared was holding his hand again and Jensen really liked that a lot too. It was small, simple, but it made him feel connected to Jared. And maybe it was silly, this was only their first date after all, but it made him feel freer, like he could do anything.
When they got to the actual exhibit things quietened down between them as they moved around the space. There weren’t too many other people around so Jensen felt less obligated to not linger. It was nice to actually get to take the time to just absorb. To contemplate. There was just something about photography that had always spoken to him. But maybe it didn’t exactly speak to Jared in quite the same way, “You hate it don’t you?”
Not that Jensen thought Jared wasn’t interested. He just seemed to be more interested in Jensen’s face. Jensen could feel Jared’s eyes on him.
“What?” Jared scrunched up his brow, “Of course not. I like how the compositions meet the uh-”
“Jared,” Jensen said with a cock of his brow, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Well okay,” Jared said turning in to Jensen “but you were excited about it when you were telling me about it,” and he closed his fingers in Jensen’s t-shirt, “so I wanted to do it for you.”
Jensen disentangled Jared’s hand from his clothing and he pulled him into a kiss.
“I don’t hate it,” Jared said softly.
Jensen shrugged, “We don’t have to stay if you don’t want.”
“No. I want to. We can go when you’re ready. I already got what I came to see.”
Jared kissed him this time with a lot more heat behind it, “Jay,” he breathed, eyes closed. He wished they could be in an uninterrupted bubble, just them two, and Jared let their foreheads touch together and he took Jensen’s hands in his own.
“You could always tell me how they make you feel?”
Jensen looked up at the picture they had stopped at, “They make me wish I’d brought my camera.”
With raised eyebrows they shared a silent exchange, yeah, yeah not allowed to take pictures in the exhibit. But not what Jensen meant. And he liked that Jared just got that.
“What do you want to take pictures of?”
“I’ve got a pretty good subject in mind,” Jensen smirked and without missing a beat Jared gave him his best blue steel, cheeks sucked in, and Jensen lost it, laughing full on, head thrown back. And Jared was right there with him. Their loudness drawing the wrong kind of attention but Jensen couldn’t find it in himself to care, “Let’s get out of here.”
“Lead the way,” Jared said and he linked their arms together as they walked out.
There was nothing Jared enjoyed more than making out with his boyfriend. But don’t expect him to remember what they’d been talking about moments before. All he knew was that it had started out slow and that it had been Jensen who initiated it this time. And how strong, steady, Jensen’s hand felt cupping the side of his face. How soft Jensen’s lips felt against his own. The heat of his tongue. And how good Jensen’s hands felt curving round Jared’s ass when they gave in to gravity and Jared slotted perfectly on top of Jensen.
His hips rocked forward of their own accord, a slave to the force and his hand slipped. His palm rubbed over Jensen’s crotch, the hitch in Jensen’s breath making him stop and he removed his hand before Jensen even said, “Jared.”
“Sorry,” he said, pushing himself up just enough, arms planted on either side of Jensen, “Can’t seem to stop thinking about it. About you. Touching you,” and he couldn’t hold back the roll of his hips, his erection sliding along Jensen’s thigh.
“When you touch yourself?” Jensen almost whispered.
“Well yeah. Don’t you think about me?”
“When I touch myself?”
“Jensen,” he said with a hint of a laugh, small smile.
Jensen sighed, shifting a little and Jared moved to get off of him so that they could both sit back up. Jared had to fight back the urge to just put his arm around him, but Jensen hadn’t put any distance between them. He was still right there next to him so Jared was taking that as a good sign.
“I don’t know,” Jensen shrugged, “I never really thought about it. I don’t really think about anything. Mostly I just want to get it over with.”
Jared’s heart started to race on the back of a heavy clunk, but he needed to keep it together and not freak out here. This was Jensen. He wasn’t like everyone else, “You don’t like it?”
“What? No. I mean, I don’t know. I just…I don’t want to be perving on someone behind their back.”
And relief rushed over Jared and also a deep need to just squish the complete adorability right out of his boyfriend, “Well you have my permission to perv on me,” Jared said with a kiss, “Often,” kissing him again, “As much as necessary,” and again.
“Jay,” Jensen breathed between their lips and Jared did pull him into his arms, letting their noses slide together.
“It’s good Jensen. It feels so good. You need to let yourself enjoy it. You,” he slid his fingers along Jensen’s collar bone, teasing round the neck line of his t-shirt. He took in the scent of Jensen before pulling back enough to look at him.
Jensen grabbed his other hand, “Thinking about you?”
“Well yeah. Me. Or I dunno, whoever you’re into. Liam Hemsworth is pretty hot.”
Jensen shoved him playfully, “Shut up.”
“You don’t agree?” Jared asked, eyebrow raised.
“Well of course he’s hot. But he’s not you.”
Jared couldn’t help but chuckle a little as he nuzzled Jensen’s neck, “You are such a smooth bastard Ackles.”
“Well, one of us has to be.”
Jared scoffed and they started wrestling, rolling about on the bed, ‘til there was one pinned down in defeat. But when Jensen’s prize was Jared’s mouth, Jared didn’t think losing was really all that bad.
Later that day when Jensen was on his own he found himself lying on his bed. Hands resting on his abdomen. After Jared had left he’d made a decision to get some studying done and he’d given it a solid two hours but he knew taking a break was just as important. So that’s what he was doing. Didn’t really feel like doing anything in particular though. It felt good to just take the time to be alone with his thoughts.
It didn’t take them long to turn to Jared though. He really did miss him when he wasn’t around. His dimpled smile. His laugh. The way his lips felt against Jensen’s own. The weight of Jared on top of him, or beneath him, surrounding him. The heat that crackled along his skin and just beneath the surface wherever Jared’s hands roved.
Jensen closed his eyes, fingers twitching on his belly, the urge to retrace the pathways strong and with the words Jared had left him with replaying in his head. Jensen was getting hard. Usually he would just take care of it in the shower. But this wasn’t the usual. And it had seemed really important to Jared that he do this.
He moved his hand lower and ran his fingers along the lip of the waistband of his sweatpants. He took a breath, tummy muscles tensing in anticipation before he slid his hand down under the soft cotton to take hold of himself. Up. Down. Up. And he stopped, making small circles across the tip with his thumb and without even really thinking about it he grabbed his phone with his other hand to call Jared.
“Jensen?” Jared sounded a little out of breath, but Jensen didn’t really think too much of it.
“Jared, I need you to come over. I can’t do this on my own.”
“You can’t…what?”
Jensen bit his lip, and was willing to bet that a flush crept over his skin, he was holding his cock while talking to his boyfriend on the phone, “I know you said I could, but I’d rather you were here.”
Jared let out a gasp, “Are you touching your dick right now?”
Jensen quivered, Jared knew, and he squeezed himself a little, his cock twitching from Jared’s words alone.
“Yes,” Jensen admitted quietly, heart thundering beneath his chest.
Jared moaned and then his breath caught. Jared was doing what Jensen was trying to do. Jensen sucked in a breath. He needed to stay calm.
“Stroke it. Jensen. Please.”
And Jensen did, eliciting a moan from his own lips though it was more from the need in Jared’s voice.
“Fuck, Jen.”
Jensen listened as Jared came, and it gave him tingles, a spurt of pre-come pulsing out, “Jay-”
“Don’t move. I’ll be right there.”
And Jensen had really tried to stay put, but he got too anxious and had to get up. It wasn’t even like all that much time had passed, like maybe two seconds, their dorms were like five minutes away from each other and thankfully Jared made it in record time. He didn’t knock. Just walked in and closed the door firmly behind him. The two boys just staring at each other for a moment.
Jensen felt a little self-conscious, his boner very obviously tenting the front of his sweats. He’d never been up with anyone before. Not like this. Jared had turned him on. But that was when they were in jeans. And there was no space between them for looking. Jared was looking.
Perhaps sensing the tension Jared spoke first, “Where do you want me?” and even though Jensen didn’t actually say anything Jared came further into the room, closing the space between them.
“I don’t-,” Jensen shrugged a little and then shook his head, “Not like this. I can’t-,” not face-to-face. Not yet. But he didn’t know how to say that to Jared. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings again, like he was sure he had earlier.
Not having the right words didn’t seem to be a problem for Jared though, he nodded his head with that easy Jared smile, “Okay,” and he gave Jensen a soft kiss before he moved in behind Jensen and pulled him in against his chest. He let his hands rest on Jensen’s shoulders as he kissed over that spot on his neck, bringing his hands down to Jensen’s, “Let me help,” he said gently.
Jensen closed his eyes for a moment as Jared brought his hands up around his middle, hugging him almost, it made Jensen feel better, more at ease; Jared’s touch. He nodded, “Okay.”
He could feel Jared smile as he directed Jensen’s hands to his hips to push his sweats down his thighs just enough to let Jensen’s cock spring free. Jared’s fingers slipped through Jensen’s just so, so that they were both gripping his cock, Jensen’s mouth fell open with a small breathy half-gasp as they started to jack his cock together.
Jared controlled the speed, the rhythm, the pressure. He knew exactly when to ease off and slow down when he got too close, which was maybe a little more than Jensen would have liked. But it was new and Jensen had never tried denying himself before, prolonging the experience, but he knew that it was something he would have to build on with time, and with Jared.
Jared was hard again, his dick pressed to Jensen’s ass, rutting against him and Jensen’s hips rocked forward too in the chase and when they came it hit hard. Jared just held him for the moment afterwards as their breathing returned to normal. But Jensen couldn’t wait that long, he turned, staying in the circle of Jared’s arms so that he could kiss him.
Danneel sighed a happy sigh as she rested her head against her boyfriend’s -Misha’s- shoulder. Her friends had been right, she didn’t need to speak computerese to speak Misha. She was sitting on his lap on Chris’s couch. This was the first night after getting back from the Christmas holidays that they’d all been able to hang out together. There had been talk of going out, but nobody quite had the energy or inclination for it and Chris and Jason had their guitars and there was beer. Chris had finally reached a place where he was happy enough with his new songs to put them to the test.
It was kind of hard to take your eyes off of Chris actually with the way he was staring at Genevieve -she’d bested him at darts and he’d been smitten ever since- he was playing for her. Just for her. Not seeing each other over the festive period? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
And it certainly had done for Jensen and Jared too. Jared had almost been damn near insufferable the entire time they were home if he wasn’t texting or skyping or talking on the phone with Jensen. Which hadn’t been nearly as much as either boy would have liked, but there was family stuff and Jensen had had to be a little sneakier on his end. He hadn’t been ready to come out to his parents yet so he might have been able to maintain his composure a little better. But it was easy to see just how crazily he’d missed Jared too when you saw them together.
They were sitting on the floor. Jared had his arm slung round Jensen’s shoulder and pinned down across his collar bone, Jensen sat between his legs and sunk back into Jared, holding Jared’s hand on his chest. They kept kissing each other every so often and when they weren’t kissing Jared was nuzzling Jensen’s neck. It was entirely too cute and a quick glance round the room to their other friends confirmed that she wasn’t the only one who thought so.
Jensen humphed a little as he and Chad loaded the last of his drum kit into Jason’s van. “Man, you guys need to hurry up and get famous.”
“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Chad quirked his brow.
“So you can pay someone to lug all your shit instead of entrapping your so-called friends.”
“Hey. You offered.”
“And I’m still waiting for you to politely decline.”
Chad snorted, “Well ain’t you all kinds of precious.”
Jensen knocked his fist into Chad’s arm and he dropped the keys for the van and he bent to pick them up. He got that weird feeling, that wasn’t quite a chill but leering presence and he bit the corner of his lip before turning back to his friend, “Chad, not to be funny or nothing but why the hell do you keep looking at my ass?”
“Does it hurt?”
“Does what hurt?” Jensen’s brow drawn together in confusion.
“You know,” Chad shrugged.
“No, I don't know,” Jensen said slowly, “What are you talking about?”
Chad shrugged again, “You know. When Jared gives it to you,” the second part delivered with a short thrust and fist pump combo.
“The fuck?”
And Chad, to his credit, did seem somewhat genuinely clueless when he said, “What?”
“Chad,” Jensen held up his hand, voice firm, “Too far.”
“Okay. Shit. Sorry...” and Jensen had been ready to accept said apology when the next words fell from Chad’s mouth, “but you do have a pretty sweet ass though.”
“Oh my god. Stop talking.”
Jensen didn't know what he found more disturbing, Chad thinking he had a sweet ass or the fact that he assumed that Jensen was the one who bottomed. Shit what if Jared assumes that too. He had to talk to Jared.
Jared was spread out on top of Jensen’s bed with his laptop, with Jensen sitting at his desk. They were studying. Or well Jared was trying. He’d managed to whip out an introduction and he’d read half of a journal article. But really how was he supposed to concentrate on anything when his boyfriend had so many adorable little OCD habits concerning his school work?
He was just about to suggest that they take a break when Jensen asked that question.
“Jared, can we talk?”
A question that caused many a heart to sink, but which Jared had come to accept meant that Jensen just wanted to actually talk or have a proper discussion. He didn’t like to just leave things lying, left to bottle. A positive side-effect of finally coming out and accepting himself. And maybe Jensen took his time with the ruminating process but he liked to be on the same page. And that was one of the things that Jared loved about him, that he wasn’t afraid to ask questions or to voice any concerns or uncertainties.
“Of course.”
Jensen took a breath before chewing on the corner of his lip and he paused for a moment. Jared watched as Jensen got up off his chair, and he shifted to give Jensen more space to sit next to him.
Jared knocked his knee into Jensen’s when he still hadn’t said anything more and Jensen looked at him, smile taking its place on his lips. Jared smiled back. Encouragement.
“If we…when you…with penetrative sex…you wouldn’t just expect me to bottom would you?”
Jared blinked.
And Jensen babbled, “I mean it’s not something I ever really even gave much thought to before. And I still don’t know that I’m ready to even go that far, but-”
“Jensen, hey,” he said gently, taking hold of Jensen’s hands in his own, “We never have to do anything you don’t want to or that you’re not ready for yet.”
“I know,” Jensen said quietly.
“What brought this on?”
And Jensen looked a little sheepish when their eyes met, “Well Chad-”
“Of course,” Chad Jared shook his head, “Well I’m up for trying out whatever you want. But I prefer to bottom,” Jared had been with enough guys to know, “Always think of you on top.”
“Jared.”
“Only when you’re ready,” and he kissed him, “I love everything we do together.”
“I do too. And I want to explore more with you, I just. I don’t want to rush things. I want to savour all the moments.”
“That’s what I want too.”
With finals just around the corner it was inevitable that they’d have a party to celebrate their last nights of freedom before they really needed to start revising for real. Not Jensen’s preferred setting, but all their friends were together and he was with Jared. Though he wasn’t physically with him right that second. Jared was over with Felicia, Adrianne, Aldis and Misha talking video games very animatedly. And Jensen had been discussing music, and journalism, and photography, and what he hoped to do with the paper the following year with Chris, Genevieve, Amy and Danneel.
But his attention kept on wandering on back over to Jared. His boyfriend. And that was definitely something he liked the sound of. And he couldn’t help but wonder about other sounds he would like to hear. The places he’d like to touch. Explore. Jared.
When the next song came on their friends paired up with their significant others and hit the make shift dance floor and Jensen seized his opportunity. He wrapped himself round Jared from behind letting his hands slip round and down into Jared’s pockets, “Leave with me,” he breathed hotly against Jared’s ear.
He felt Jared shiver, “Okay,” and he slowly removed his hands to let Jared turn around, “Where to?” Jared resting his own hands at Jensen’s hips.
“Mine,” Jensen said, his tongue flicking out over his lip as he looked up into Jared’s eyes.
“Do you have-”
“I bought stuff,” and then off of Jared’s pleasantly surprised look added, “I maybe might have had Danni with me,” not that he’d made her go up to the counter or anything. He’d bought the stuff himself, he’d just felt less self-conscious about it having her there.
He would have gone with Jared, but he didn't want to take the spontaneity out of it with any kind of weird presence like a looming countdown clock.
Jensen just wanted to be prepared for whenever they did take that next step.
When the time was right.
And it did feel right. He wanted this, “I want you,” he said, no hesitation, he was nothing less than sure.
He kissed Jared, his hand cupping the back of Jared’s neck and somewhere between that kiss and the next dozen or so they ended up in Jensen’s room. The party hadn’t been too far from the dorm. It could have been on Mars for all he cared and they still would have got there. Didn’t matter how. His hands brushed up following Jared’s sides as he pulled his t-shirt off and he let Jared take off his in turn. Their lips reconnecting the second the material was out of the way.
Jensen brought his hands back down to Jared’s shoulders and followed the muscles down in a gentle caress to the curve of his ass and he gave it a good squeeze with both hands, “Fuck Jensen,” Jared gasped, “Are you sure?” and Jensen couldn’t help but smile, Jared really was the best boyfriend he could have ever hoped for.
“I’m sure,” he said pushing his palm over the surface of Jared’s butt over his jeans, “Show me. I don’t,” he took a pause, needing to get himself back under control, this was completely new territory, well everything with Jared was, but, “I don’t want to hurt you. You have to let me see how you do it.”
“You wanna watch me finger myself?” Jared asked quietly, arching his back to push his ass further into Jensen’s hands, his own fingers dipped into the top of Jensen’s jeans, knuckles teasing the flesh beneath.
“Jared-”
“Okay. I can do that,” and he gave Jensen a quick kiss before he toed off his boots. Jensen did the same after grabbing the lube and a condom from the drawer and he set them down on the bedside table.
Once they were both divested of the rest of their clothing Jared laid down on the bed with a nervous huff of a laugh which made Jensen smile knowing he wasn’t the only one. It was different when you interrupted the flow. Made it feel a little like a performance. Jensen wanted to quash any anxiety that Jared might have -that he was sure stemmed from himself, Jared was always putting Jensen’s feelings first- and give him the reassurance that he always so freely gave to Jensen.
He planted his knees on the bed and leaned down to kiss Jared thoroughly, and parted with a whisper against Jared’s lips, “You look very incredibly sexy.”
Jensen took the little bottle of lube and pressed it into Jared’s palm, “Show me,” he said with more of a command in his voice this time, and he kept his eyes locked on Jared’s as he heard him pop the lid and then squirt some out onto his fingers. Jensen backed up enough to allow Jared the room to spread his legs as he lowered his hand and so that Jensen could get a better view.
Jared let his fingers circle round his hole and he gasped. His fingers varied the pressure as he gave himself another couple of revolutions before he slipped a finger in. And Jensen shivered right along with Jared. He found himself overwhelmed with a desire to touch, to feel and not just from his own side of things. He maybe wouldn’t rule out getting to try it out himself -from the bottom- the idea of Jared touching him like that there. Jared had said they could. But he was getting ahead of himself.
His gaze drew up from Jared’s fingers to his balls and how they kind of twitched and jumped in response to Jared’s ministrations, and the way his dick would slap his belly on every other hitch. The thin thread of pre-come just begged to be licked and Jensen got up on his knees and then down on all fours, repositioning himself to get his mouth on Jared’s dick. Made Jared rasp out, “Fuck, Jen,” with a buck of his hips.
Jensen took in as much of Jared as he could with each bob of his head, teasing his thumb down Jared’s sac to join Jared’s fingers, only Jensen kept his at the rim, “Can I?”
“Fuck yes,” Jared squeezed Jensen’s thigh and Jensen glanced back at him over his shoulder, “Please.”
Jensen turned back at that to properly face his boyfriend and Jared pushed himself up so that they could share another kiss, this one with a greater sense of urgency: a need to be one.
Jared had got himself lubed up pretty good but Jensen still stuck his fingers in his mouth to get them wet before he pushed them into Jared’s hole, it took a few adjustments to get to the speed, rhythm and pressure Jared had been using, but he definitely knew when he hit it, if the tremors that coursed through Jared in fits and starts were anything to go by “Yeah. Fuck. Yeah Jensen. There. Right there.”
Jensen smiled wide as he repeated the action again, and again until Jared grabbed his wrist, “I don’t wanna-. Together. We should-”
“Yeah,” Jensen said. He didn’t need to ask what Jared meant. This was it. The moment. And Jensen was glad that Jared was the one he was sharing it with, “Together.”
Epilogue
This was it. Summer was upon them. And Jensen found himself wondering why it was he needed to have so much stuff. He pulled another neat stack of shirts from his dresser to place straight into his case, with another glance at Jared on his bed, “Are you just going to sit there and watch me pack?”
“Hey it’s your stuff, man,” Jared lowered himself back down onto his elbows, “I’m just here for moral support.”
Jensen snorted. “You’re just here to ogle my ass.”
“Hmm,” Jared said as he did just that, with a quirk to his lips.
“What?”
“Ogling?”
Jensen tilted his head in consideration, perfectly aware of what his boyfriend was up to, “We could say leering.”
Jared didn’t disappoint. He pushed himself up a bit and reached out to get his fingers in under Jensen’s belt and tugged him in, “I always kind of preferred groping,” and he did.
“That’s why they call you Trouble,” Jensen said with a grin as he leaned in to give him a kiss.
“Words hurt you know,” Jared teased.
And Jensen knew that was how he meant it, but he couldn’t ignore the truth of it either. “Yeah they can,” he said with a small smile as Jared wrapped his arms around his waist. And thinking of words that could possibly hurt, “You’re still coming right?”
“Of course I am. With you all the way, baby,” Jared said before nuzzling into Jensen’s abs.
Jensen scrunched his nose as much from the tickling sensation as from the words that had fallen from Jared’s mouth and shoved Jared a little for the endearment.
“What? Like we can only be disgustingly smooshy when we’re having sex?”
Jensen nodded, “Yes. Exactly.”
Jared shook his head with a playful sigh, caressing Jensen’s back with his hands and bringing them back down to cup his ass, made Jensen gasp, and Jared put every ounce of affection into his words, “Butt munch.”
Punctuated with an extra squeeze that got both boys smirking.
Jensen needed a comeback, he just wasn’t so sure where to go with it, “Dick…swallower.”
Hysterics took them both down and Jensen had flopped down onto the bed next to Jared the two rolling into each other as the laughter swept through them.
“Let’s promise to never say that kind of stuff in front of our parents,” Jensen grinned throwing his hand back into Jared’s chest.
“Agreed,” Jared said with a light jab of his elbow to Jensen’s side, and they lay side by side, without a word passing between them, for a moment. Jared played with Jensen’s hand, outlining his fingers with his own, drawing circles in his palm, and that kind of tickled to, but it was nice, just to be. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
Was he ready to tell his parents he was gay? To have them know? No take backs. “To have them not react the way I want them to?” he’d thought about it. Yeah. But…
“Well that too. But I kind of meant in general.”
There were still all the other factors to take into consideration, he just needed to keep reminding himself of them, “I’ve got you. And our friends. Chris. Danni. Chad.”
And Jared was good for that too, “We’ll back you all the way. And I’ll be wherever you need me to be,” Jared pulled Jensen’s hand up to his lips to kiss his knuckles.
Jensen was still holding on to the belief that it wouldn’t get that far. Maybe he hadn’t ever had a if one of us was gay what would you do? conversation with either of his parents, but they loved him. And they’d always supported him in every other area of his life.
Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand extra tight as he turned his head to look at him, “I want them to meet you. I need them to meet you.”
Jared gave him a dimpled grin as he leaned in for a quick kiss, "Dude, I think my mom might actually burst if I don't take you home."
Jensen sat back up, unable to keep the smile from his face as Jared rubbed his lower back, and he slid his hand along Jared’s inner thigh to cup his knee, “Well I hope she’s not too disappointed.”
“Shut up,” Jared said, sitting back up too and he rested his chin on Jensen’s shoulder, “She’s gonna love you.”
“Despite the ridiculously high bar you’ve set?” Jensen arched his eyebrow.
Jared gave a one-shouldered shrug, “Hey, you set the standard, so really it’s your fault for being so awesome.”
“Hmm,” Jensen said, tapping his chin, “Note to self: reduce awesome-o-sity to Jared levels,” and he threw his head back with a laugh when Jared punched his arm, and Jensen got his hand on Jared’s face, pushing him away playfully in retaliation, “You know I’m kidding.” He let Jared snuggle back up to him to give him a softer, more lingering kiss, “You are definitely awesome of the full on variety.”
“I know. It’s just nice to hear every once in a while,” Jared smirked.
Jensen shook his head, “Dork.”
“Nerd.”
The End.