Worth The Wait: Chapter Three
Chris was the first to wake up. He always liked to make sure that he didn’t drink quite as much as everyone else, just in case. He liked to keep some semblance of wit about him. Keep an eye on things. He liked to know what was going on round about him and his friends. He glanced back over his shoulder to get a look at Jensen, he’d faced planted onto the bed last night, and he was still in the same position. Chris let out a heavy breath and sat up, feet on the floor and he snorted.
Jared had thought they were boyfriends.
Granted he wasn’t the first to have that thought. On occasion Chris was given to let that assumption work to his advantage in keeping any unwanted attentions out of Jensen’s way. It wasn’t something his best friend was ready for and he didn’t want some asshole who couldn’t keep it in his pants forcing him into doing something he didn’t want. And as far as Chris knew, he didn’t. They’d only ever talked about it the once. Two years ago. But Chris still remembered it very vividly.
"Chris,” Jensen had started quiet, eyes cast down, hands curved round the edge of his desk which he was leaning against, “There's something I have to tell you. But I don't want you to freak or get mad."
Chris’s brow furrowed as he registered the note of anxiety in Jensen’s voice and he sat up a little straighter. "What is it?"
Though Jensen did manage to look him in the eye when he said, "You're the only person I can trust with this. No one else can know."
Chris still didn’t like it, "Jensen-" and he hoped he’d never given Jensen the impression that there was anything he couldn’t share.
But obviously Jensen still wanted to, "Swear."
He just wanted a little reassurance, and that Chris could give, "I swear. Just tell me."
Jensen nodded and took in a sharp breath, "I think I might be gay."
"Okay." Not what he’d expected sure but…
"Okay?" Jensen asked, eyebrow arched, a mixture of relief and trepidation on his face.
Chris didn’t break eye contact, giving Jensen a raised eyebrow of his own, "What do you want me to say? If you are? You are. That doesn't change anything. Not to me. Won't make you any less you." He didn’t have to even think about it, and it was important that Jensen knew he had his support no matter what. "You don't want to tell anyone, I won't make you. You want to talk? Then I'm here. Okay?"
"Okay," Jensen said with a nod, and a half-twitch of a smile, and a look.
Chris wasn’t sure if he was searching for the right way to say something more or if he was just processing, so he prodded, "Do you want to talk about it? Is there a guy?"
"What? No. No. I just...I've been thinking since..." Chris followed Jensen’s gaze as his eyes flitted to his pinboard and to the picture of Jensen and his girlfriend. His ex.
"Did Sarah say something to you?"
Jensen shrugged, "Kind of,” he paused for a half second and then said more quickly, “But it's not like that. She…" Jensen huffed, rubbing the back of his neck, "She asked me if I was sure I liked girls. And I mean I don't not like them. I just...I don't know anymore."
"You don't have to. Not right now. There's still plenty of time to figure it out."
And that was still true. They were still young yet. And they didn’t need to have everything all figured out. Society at large, along with the media, had a pretty one track mind on the whole pairing off deal. Chris liked to think of himself as more of a realist. Jensen hadn't so much as batted an eye at another guy. But Jared? Jared could be a guy. Kid says he’s in love with Jensen. Chris couldn’t help but snort at that. They’d only known each other for what? Not even a whole month yet.
Don’t get him wrong. Chris liked Jared. What he’d seen of him so far. And there was no denying that fond little smile Jensen got whenever he spoke about the kid. Chris knew Jensen wasn’t really aware of it, or in the least of what it could mean.
Actually seeing them interact? That was something else entirely. Drinking had always loosened Jensen up just that little bit, but with Jared? It wasn’t anything overt, but it was definitely something.
And there was the fact that he’d even invited Jared out with them in the first place. Jensen had never invited someone that he knew independently of Chris or Chad. Labelled or not he was moving forward and Chris wasn’t going to get in the way of that. Leaning back he put his hand on Jensen’s shoulder and shoved, “Time for breakfast.”
Jensen mumbled something unintelligible in response but Chris was well versed in his grumpy grumbly talk, “Yeah, yeah. Coffee time too. Let’s go.”
Jensen had considered the guys night to be a success, Jared seemed to have had a good time and he got along with Chad and Chris almost seamlessly and Jensen got to spend time with him outside of the newspaper. Come Monday things had gone back to normal with Jared swinging by early to escort Danneel. By Wednesday there was already talk of what was in the line-up for Friday. Jensen really couldn’t help but huff. He’d been dragged out every Friday night over the past few or so weeks and would no doubt be expected to do so again the one coming.
That’s when Jared had invited him to have a night in with him and his friends and Danneel had been quick to sign off on her approval to the suggestion. How could he say no? They really were becoming such great friends so it wouldn’t hurt to spend more time with them. And he’d met the other girls briefly that one time and he was sure he’d get along with them well enough. They were Jared and Danneel’s friends after all.
The only downside he could really see was the having to tell Chris about it. There was no way he would let him get away with it without some form of teasing. But he couldn't exactly not tell him either. By the time Friday afternoon rolled around there really was no more putting it off.
He was at Chris's place and he had been studying. Chris had his guitar out and was playing about with chords, working them out for a new song. Something that normally wouldn't distract Jensen, but he had thoughts. And he had to tell him.
“So, uh…” Jensen cleared his throat, “You guys weren’t planning anything for tonight were you?”
Chris’s hands paused on his guitar and he looked up and over at Jensen, eyebrow peaked, “No,” he said it slow, drawn out and put his guitar down, “Why? Are you?”
“Well, you know,” Jensen shrugged, this so wasn’t a big deal, “Jared and Danni kind of invited me to their movie night.”
“Movie night?”
“Yeah you know, they do it kind of semi-weekly with their friends and everyone stays at Danni’s. Technically Cindy’s too I guess. Though I mean it’s not always on a Friday-” and fuck he was babbling, though he didn’t know if he could quite thank Chris for stopping him.
“Are you staying the night?”
Jensen averted his gaze to the floor scratching the back of his neck which he knew spelt yes. He was nineteen years old in his sophomore year at college damnit.
“Aww. Well ain’t that adorable,” Chris said with what had to be the biggest shit-eating grin ever, “You’re going to a sleepover. Hmm,” he tilted his head to the side rubbing his chin in thought, “Maybe we should get you some feetie pyjamas.”
Jensen just flipped him off with a yeah okay laugh it up kind of nod and then shook his head, “It’s footie pyjamas, asshole.”
Chris kind of half huffed half snorted, “I don’t even wanna know how you know that.”
Jensen sighed, “Just don’t tell Chad okay?”
“Don't tell Chad that you're going to be in a room with six girls in their skimpy little pyjamas? Yeah I think that's the safest way for us all. Cataclysmic is what that would be, and speaking of, are you gonna be okay with that?”
Jensen gave a snort of derision, “I think I’m perfectly capable of handling legs.” His brain caught up to his mouth and he saw that twinkle in Chris’s eyes before the smirk, “Seeing legs perv. You’re getting as bad as him!”
Chris held up an imaginary dagger and plunged it into his chest, “That hurts man.”
Jensen shrugged, “Gotta keep you in check son.”
They shared a glance, arched eyebrow to arched eyebrow and then they both laughed.
Up until the moment Jared had led him to Danneel and Cindy’s door Jensen had been very mildly freaking that he would somehow fail at maintaining a conversation with the girls for an entire evening. Or that maybe they wouldn’t be so happy letting an outsider into their den. But they’d all given him a warm welcome and Felicia had cozied up to his side pretty quickly. As if he’d always been there, a more permanent fixture. And he was happy that Jared had taken up the space on his other side, with a, “You can think of me as like your oestrogen buffer,” which made Jensen snort.
And the girls did too, with a scoff or two thrown in and Jared was immediately pelted with hair ties, slippers and a box of tissues. Jared just held up his hands, “Case in point.”
“Well seeing as I’m in your orbit now, Padalecki, you may want to revise your definitions, I don’t need your help getting into the line of fire,” Jensen said around a laugh, his grin wide. He was sure his own mouth could land him into trouble all on its own. No one was ever fully immune from putting their foot into it.
“You calling me a liability?” Jared asked with an amused sort of smile which softened the shock.
Genevieve gave a rather devious smirk, catching Jensen’s eye when she said, “Always.”
And the rest of the girls all hummed their agreement, “Can’t spell trouble without Jared,” Amy said with a subtle shake of her head, sitting up a little straighter, head held high, to emphasise her goodness.
“Not you too Amy! My sweet innocent little Amy. You have been corrupted by these wily vixens,” Jared covered his eyes with his hand to complete the air of drama he’d created.
The rest of them all cracked up and Jensen clapped his hand down on Jared’s knee, “Well at least no one can accuse you of not committing.”
After they’d stuck in the first movie, take out was ordered and snacks were opened and the conversation had died down a little while everyone paid attention to the screen, though of course there was still the odd comment here and there. When their food arrived though the conversation picked right back up and everyone of course was in violent agreement with Genevieve at the general lack of truly badass women in fiction. Jensen had said Well clearly they haven’t met you lot which he’d meant sincerely but he wasn’t completely unaware of the points it scored him.
Amy pushed her hands back through her hair as she said, “Present company excluded,” and pulling it into a ponytail just with her hands before she let it drop back down around her shoulders, “Boys are stupid.”
Cindy quirked her brow, “So, how did your lunch date with Matt go?”
Amy shrugged a little with a hint of a blush, like maybe she’d wanted to avoid this particular conversation, “It was nice. And he was really sweet. He made me a picnic and we just had a really great time-”
“But?” and Adrianne held up her hand for it.
“I don’t know!” Amy dropped her head to Danneel’s shoulder for a moment and Danneel tapped the side of her face in a more empathetic there, there kind of way, “I mean he’s pretty much perfect. There’s just…something missing.”
Felicia tilted her head to the side thoughtfully as she leaned more into her girlfriend, “Another set of boobs?” said with a flourish of her hand beneath Adrianne’s breasts like they were a game show prize.
Adrianne just snickered and slung her arm round Felicia, “Our lunch date was awesome.”
Amy narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, “You guys didn’t have lunch. You had sex.”
There was no missing Adrianne’s rather lascivious grin as she said proudly, “Exactly.”
Felicia scoffed a little, “Hey! We had cupcakes.”
“Cupcakes?” Genevieve said kind of incredulously, taking the thought straight from Jensen’s mind, and they shared a glance. Or maybe he’d just been hanging out with Chad for too long.
Danneel gave a slow nod, “Very nutritional.”
Adrianne gave her a not so surprisingly good natured bitch please kind of look, “Healthier than pining over some professor.”
Their teasing put him more at ease and it was kind of fun to just sit back and watch them go.
Danneel rolled her eyes with a little bit of a huff, “He’s not a professor. He’s a TA,” and then she let out a contented sigh, “And he’s beautiful.”
Felicia sat forward for a shoulder shimmying victory dance, complete with fist pumping action, “Computer Science Geeks for the win baby.”
Adrianne reeled her back in to her side to nuzzle her neck, “Totally hot.”
Jensen felt Jared move beside him and he turned to watch him shake his head in mock disapproval, “Danni you don’t even take that class.”
Danneel sighed, “If you saw him you’d totally be crashing it with me.”
Cindy snorted, “Yeah right. Like you’d let that happen. You want him all to yourself.”
And Genevieve threw up her hands, “Seriously, no one’s going to make a comment on the cupcake thing?”
Jensen smiled as the girls kept talking and he leaned back into the couch his eyes drawn back to Jared who bumped their shoulders together, and asked quietly, “What about you Jensen? Are you seeing anybody?”
Jensen shrugged, “Nah. Not really looking to be with anyone right now.” And for him it was as simple as that but Jared was giving him a look, “Well I mean you know I just really need to focus on school right now and then with the paper and making time for friends, don’t think I’d really have the time.”
Jared gave a small nod, teeth sunk into his lip for a second or two before he smiled, “That makes sense.”
It seemed like Jared had maybe had more to say, and Jensen really hadn’t had a chance to ask Jared how he’d been dealing with his not-guy, “What about you? Anyone new or are you still--”
Jared sucked in a breath and stared down at his hands, “There could be residual stillness.”
“You’ll get him,” Jensen was absolutely certain of it.
“Who?” Jared looked confused.
“Your guy. Whoever he is. I know you will. You’re a great guy, Jared.” Anyone would be very lucky to have him as a boyfriend it didn’t take a genius to figure out, all you had to do was look at how he was with his friends.
There was this look that Jared would give him sometimes that he gave him right in that moment, that Jensen didn’t know how to place, but it was always gone quicker than he could process, “Thanks, Jensen.”
The following Tuesday morning Jared maybe not quite so accidentally, as it was on purpose, found himself at the campus coffee shop. Jensen was at his usual table, newspaper -though not the school one- spread across the top as he drank his coffee. And Jared took an extra moment or two while he added more sugar to his drink, safe in the knowledge that Jensen hadn’t noticed him yet before he walked over.
“Mind if I join you?”
Jensen’s paper crinkled as he looked up at Jared, “Not if you don’t mind,” he said indicating the paper as he lifted it out of Jared’s way and they shared a smile. Jensen flicked the page as Jared sat down and his eyebrow shot up as he took in the contents of Jared’s cup.
“What is that?”
Jared had opted for the seasonal/Thanksgiving pumpkin concoction which rested under a mountain of whipped cream.
Jensen winced a little, “My teeth hurt just looking at that thing.”
Jared shrugged, smile still in place, “Want to try some?”
“No,” Jensen shook his head, his smile broad, “I’m good.”
And Jared shrugged it off nonchalantly in a your loss is my sugary gain kind of way as he scooped off some of the cream with a spoon.
Jensen glanced back down at his paper, but there was something a little more half-hearted about the way his eyes scanned the page, or at least Jared thought so. He kept lifting his gaze to smile at Jared every now and again and he didn’t seem to mind so much when Jared distracted him with conversation. Though Jared really was trying his hardest to let Jensen have some of the quiet he obviously had wanted.
Huh. Jared was kind of surprised when Jensen set the paper back down, though folded over to save space, he had never figured Jensen the type to read the agony aunt section. They had just been talking about what their plans for the day were when Jensen just got up mid-sentence, paper snatched clean off the table, a flurry of emotions passing over his features, “Jensen?”
“Sorry. I’ve got to--”
And then he was gone.
Jared didn’t like the feeling it left him with. He didn’t even know how it was possible to feel so hollow when his stomach felt so full of lead. And he didn’t like what he’d seen in Jensen’s eyes. This was bad. He needed to find out what was in that column.
Jensen had never walked so fast in his entire life. He’d never felt such a white hot rage either. He couldn’t even think straight. Everything was firing through his brain at warp speed. But he had a target and after confirming Chad’s location with Chris, there was no stopping him. It’s why he hung up before Chris could ask any questions. And he switched his phone off for good measure.
When he found him, he was sitting on the arm of some chair talking to some girl. But Jensen didn’t care, just used the heel of his palm to knock him off and grabbed his upper arm to forcibly remove him. He chose to ignore Chad’s protests as he dragged him off and out of earshot and he was none too gentle about releasing him either once they got there.
“Jensen. The fuck man?” Chad said as he rubbed his arm.
Jensen held up the paper stabbing his finger into the page, “What the hell is this?”
“What?” Chad asked, seemingly genuinely confused.
“THIS,” and he thrust it closer to Chad’s face and he waited for Chad to read it. Impatiently tracking every little flicker in Chad’s eyes.
Chad let out a heavy breath as Jensen lowered the paper, “I just wanted to help.”
“Help?” and Jensen gave a dry, dark huff, how very quaint, “How is this going to help me? Everyone is going to know it's me."
"Dude, I changed your name."
Jensen huffed again, lip curled, fingernails digging into his palms, "Right, because no one will be able to decipher your ingenious code."
“Jensen just-” Chad started but Jensen wasn’t interested in whatever it was he had to say and he cut across him.
“You want to discuss my personal life, here's a thought, why don't you talk to me about it, instead of sharing it with the entire world?”
"But you won't talk to me about it. Every time I ask, you shut down. I'm worried about you, man."
Jensen just shook his head, “Well, you’ve sure got some way of showing it.”
“Sorry, I didn’t think-”
And that was exactly it.
“You never do, do you?” Jensen said bluntly with a wave of his hand before he turned to go.
He didn’t look back.
After Jensen had left, Jared had just sat there for a moment trying to piece it all together with the limited knowledge he had, but nothing made sense. So he did the only thing he could and called Danneel who happened to be on her way to the coffee shop at that precise moment. Now Jared was walking like a half step ahead of her and she’d already given up on trying to get him to slow down. He couldn’t even if he really wanted to. He had to know.
When they got to where they were going Jared headed straight in and snapped up a paper slapping it down on the counter along with the cash all in one fluid motion, “Just this.”
And he had it opened up before he even got back outside and to Danneel. He couldn’t find the page fast enough. His eyes skimmed down until it jumped right out at him.
DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, "Bensen" has a problem. It's his second year in college and he's still a virgin. He gave his heart to a girl in the past, and it left him bitter, emotionally unavailable and, unfortunately, unlaid. He is outgoing, but deep down he lacks confidence. How can my friends and I help him, and how can he help himself? -- HIS BFF IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BFF: You are well-meaning, but the person asking this question should be your friend Bensen. While the fact that he may be "unlaid" and "unavailable" bothers you and your friends, it's possible that it doesn't bother him. If and when Bensen does tell you he is troubled by it, advise him to visit the student health centre and discuss it with a counsellor because there may be complicated reasons for it. He doesn't need help losing his virginity. But he may need help addressing his trust issues or he may always remain emotionally unavailable.
He had to read it three times before he relinquished the paper to the ever-patient Danneel, and he pushed his hands back through his hair. Fuck. He felt sick. And like maybe he wanted to put his fist through something. That someone could violate Jensen’s trust like that. He knew it couldn’t be Chris. He just wouldn’t. The BFF thing kind of threw him though. He looked back at Danneel just as she finished reading it.
And she didn’t need to say anything for him to know she shared in his holy fucking shit sentiments.
But she did say something, “This has to be Chad.”
Jared shook his head. His eyes flitting over their surroundings, the people milling about. The papers in people’s hands. And he just flipped. Started to snatch them off anyone close enough and he got some aggravated heys thrown his way but no one seemed willing to physically challenge him. Except of course…
“Jared!” Danneel said horrified, apologising to several of the people he had accosted as they’d run off, and she grabbed his arm, “what are you doing?”
Jared took a deep breath before he looked at her, “I have to get rid of them.”
Danneel was gentle as she stroked his arm, trying to calm him he supposed, “Jared. Sweetie. You do know it’s online?”
But Jared didn’t want to be calm. Someone, probably Chad, had hurt Jensen and he couldn’t abide it, “I don’t care, Danni. You didn’t see his face.”
Danneel sighed with a nod and then got out her phone to Jared’s puzzlement, “Who are you calling?”
“Reinforcements,” she said matter-of-factly, “It’s a big campus. We can’t cover it all by ourselves.”
Jared could have kissed her, and he was definitely going to hug her later, but they had work to do, “Thanks Danni,” he said before he turned and went back inside the store to buy up the rest of the papers.
Chris was waiting. For what and for who he wasn’t quite certain. He only hoped that they wouldn’t both show up at the same time. He’d received a call from Danneel, which was noteworthy in and of itself, to give him a heads up. Followed by a text with a link to the column. And he’d been pacing since he’d read it. Fucking hell. And he’d tried Jensen’s cell again for what had felt to be about the hundredth time -but was really just the eighth- since Jensen had so abruptly ended their call that morning. But it was still going straight to voicemail.
When the knock finally came to his door he paused for a moment before pulling it open.
It was Chad.
“You’re not going to hit me are you?” Chad asked with a faint hint of a smile and a shrug. Chris thought he meant it to lighten the mood but apparently even Chad didn’t have it in him to hit that particular mark.
“Get in,” was all Chris said, stepping aside to let him past.
Chad didn’t move, “He’s not here is he?”
Chris tilted his head back, trying to refrain from rolling his eyes, “You see anyone else in here?”
Chad still didn’t budge. Just fixed him with a look.
Chris sighed, “He’s not here.”
Chad nodded and then stepped over the threshold with a residual air of precaution. Chris guessed he couldn’t really blame him. Well, not for that anyway. Chris closed the door. And he’d barely turned around to face his friend when Chad just let it all out, “I fucked up man. Okay? I get it. I fucking get that I fucked it up. I mean I almost forgot that I even wrote that damn thing ‘til it was right in front of my face.” He bit his lip as he shook his head, “I just wanted to help him.”
Chris gave him half a smile, “I know,” fuck he knew it, that’s what made it so much worse.
Chad smacked his forehead a couple of times, “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
“Chad come on,” he hated when Chad said shit like that about himself, and, when he wasn’t pissed as all hell, Jensen did too. “Not winning any idea of the year awards sure, but you’re not an idiot.”
Chad scoffed, averting his gaze to the floor, “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”
Chris sighed again, “Why’d you do it man?”
“I don’t know. I just, I wanted to do something-” and that was Chad in a nutshell. He was a doer. The thoughts came after. Even unprompted at times.
“Why didn’t you come to me?”
“So you could tell me to just wait and see?”
“Hey you read your response didn’t you? And oh yeah, Abby thinks it’s none of your goddamn business either. Or were you just going to ignore that as well?”
“Jesus. Shit. No. I….I mean it. I get it.”
“Do you?”
“Shit. Yes. Chris, we have to leave him alone and let him deal with his whatever. But how long do we give it before it gets too far? He doesn’t even look. He won’t even try. And I don’t want him to end up alone.”
“He won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Chris took a deep, though not so much cleansing, breath and he felt like such a jackass not giving him the whole truth, but he couldn’t tell him about Jared. Or at least the potential of Jared. He couldn’t and wouldn’t break his promise to Jensen, “Look you know as well as I do that Jensen’s never been one to rush through anything. He likes to think things through and then when he’s done he thinks about them some more. He’ll get there. I know he will. But you also know what happens when you try to push him.”
Chad sighed, “Yeah, I know.”
And for a brief moment they stood in silence. What more could he say? He couldn’t advise Chad any further without actually speaking to Jensen himself. And as mentioned, Jensen would need time to digest this. How much time was the question. But still he needed to be sure they were on the same page, “Are you going to talk to him?”
Chad huffed, “Before or after he kills me?”
“Chad.”
“Yeah,” he shook his head, throwing up his hands and then scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll talk to him.”
When Jensen had left Chad he’d just walked and kept walking, avoiding any and all eye contact. He didn’t know what to do and he hadn’t felt up to talking with Chris just yet. What could he tell him anyway? He felt raw, cut open and exposed for all to see and he didn’t see how there could possibly be any words that could make him feel better. Or like he hadn’t just been betrayed by someone who could so brazenly call himself his best friend. He huffed, shaking his head.
His phone was a dead weight in his pocket, possibly collecting voicemails from God knows who. He had no idea how far through his circle of friends and family that stupid fucking letter could have reached. How many of them would know. How could he look any of them in the face ever again?
Fucking Chad. If he ever saw his face again it would be too soon. And he still didn’t see what the big fucking deal was. So what if he didn’t go out on dates. Just because some people couldn’t function being without a significant other for like two seconds didn’t mean that he couldn’t.
He didn’t need to be in a relationship to define himself. And screw anybody who thought he had to be. Being single wasn’t a disease. It was a state of being. And he didn’t see how it was anyone else’s fucking business or right to make him feel bad about it.
That afternoon, Jensen had thought he’d be able to just go into the paper, keep his head down and work, but the second he walked through the door all eyes were on him and he just walked straight back out.
Danneel had come after him.
“Jensen wait--”
And he had, none of it was Danneel’s fault and she sounded worried. Looked it too when he turned to face her. Which probably meant she had read it.
“Don’t go,” she said with a small smile, and he kind of loved her for what she said next, “How will I get published without you?” It was their way.
“I think you’ll manage. You’re pretty brilliant all on your own,” but before she could interject he went on, “I’m not going permanently,” and he cupped her arm and it overwhelmed him a little when she just threw her arms around him for a hug which took a second or two for him to return. Before Danneel he hadn’t exactly had any female friends so hugging had never been a regular occurrence. Not since… It felt good. And for that brief moment it had alleviated the weight in his chest.
“For what it’s worth?” she said as they broke apart, “I think you’re a pretty awesome guy to get to know Jensen. And Jared thinks so to.”
It had made him smile and he’d given her arm a final squeeze before he left. “Thanks Danni.”
Now he was climbing the stairs to his dorm, he needed to have time in his own space to think, hell just to breathe. What he hadn’t counted on was the very unwelcome guest sitting at his door. Blocking his sanctuary. Was nothing sacred anymore? He was going to just go but Chad had leapt to his feet, “Jensen! Please. Can we just-” Chad sighed, “Please, just hear me out.”
Jensen sighed louder and shook his head, but he opened up his door and waited for Chad to get inside, “We’re not doing this out here.”
He shut the door behind them, eyes tracking Chad’s every move, “Okay. Start talking,” he said as he folded his arms across his chest, he didn’t want him there any longer than he had to be.
“Okay,” Chad said as he sucked in his bottom lip, interlocking his fingers, “First, I want you to know how sorry I am,” at that Jensen had to look down at the floor, he wasn’t buying it, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, man, I swear.”
“Well, you did.”
“Fuck. I know. And I know you’re pissed at me, you have every right to be, but I’m trying here-”
Jensen’s brow scrunched, “Were you going to be making a point any time soon?”
“I just don’t get why you can’t just flirt or whatever. I mean what did Sarah do to you? From where I stand you guys had a pretty amic-. Amenia-, what’s the word?”
“Amicable,” Jensen provided, albeit begrudgingly. It was force of habit.
“Right that kind of break up. No one even knew about it ‘til like days after. So what?”
Jensen just shrugged. Why was Chad even bringing that shit up? It didn’t have anything to do with him running his goddamn mouth.
“You could have your pick of girls. Hell you could probably get more action than me, enough of them ask about you-”
“Stop talking,” Jensen said quietly, sharply. He didn’t want to hear it anymore.
“But you turn down every pass-”
“Enough,” Jensen said a little louder, tick in his jaw, which Chad ignored.
“Just tell me why?”
“Because I’m gay!” he almost shouted and he could feel the thrum of his heart in his ears, and for all the world Chad looked like Jensen had just physically struck him. Jensen felt sick.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jensen was sure he didn’t even need to snort at that one, but he did, accompanied by a you’re not really going to make me spell this one out for ya kind of look.
Strike Two. That one was going to leave a mark. But Chad didn’t stick around for the third. He left without another word. Didn’t even slam the door. Just snicked it shut. A pang of guilt had tugged at the knots in Jensen’s stomach as the emotion had flickered over Chad’s face. Which really just annoyed Jensen even more. He was the wronged party here. He shouldn’t feel bad for getting to give a little back.
Shit.
CHAPTER FOUR