New Year, Same Crazy Ass Pirates!" Phoenix's D.S.P. Log Book. Part 418.
* * *
Fleet Admiral Akki, Fleets AI Log:
Day 1:
So it’s back to this is it? Now we have returned to port, the senior staff and ship commanders of Port Royal requested my attention.
I’ll be forwarding the findings of the various dimensions I visited to Phoenix, although he won’t care I still proved a point made from a joke.
So, on to the briefing room I guess…
-Scene opens in the Port Royal briefing room-
Me: “So what the fuck do you lot want?”
Tony: “Alright boss?”
Me: “Yeah, what’s this all about then?”
Tony: “Well the senior staff and Captain of Port Royal got you something, for you finally being recognized as one down from the high captains. Plus you always seem to pull a battle around, keep everyone doing the job they should be. All around you’re the best C.O. any of us have ever had!”
Me: “You’re not getting a raise…”
Tony: “HAHAHAHAHAHA I know, anyway here it is!”
-Tony hands the Admiral a new gun and key-
Me: “A gun and key is that it?”
Dn6: “It’s the key to the Rama, it’s space worthy now!”
Me: “Is it perfect?”
Dn6: “Well not really but it’s in working order, same size as the Arcust with practically the same weapons!”
Me: “Get it back in dock until its perfect!”
Tony: “Ok everyone back to work!”
-Everyone leaves the briefing room apart from the Admiral and Tony-
Tony: “You know boss, that gun is from planet France’ past.”
Me: “Is it?”
Tony: "You know boss, this gun we got you is an antique from planet France. It’s an early plasma pistol so it will burn holes through literally anything!"
Me: “Fantastic! Ready the Aroi-Sun lets go shopping for the sales!”
-Scene fades out with the Admiral and Tony walking out of the briefing room-
Day 2:
I got a chance to use my new gun, it certainly does boar through things and people, one shot went through three salesman and finally made a whole in the wall on the black market planet.
ONE SHOT!
Amazing piece of tech, needless to say I shall be using this again as often as possible!
Tony: “Oh hey FA CUP is on today, we are playing west ham tomorrow. Who have you got?”
Me: “Hmm Arsenal v West Ham should be a good one to watch tomorrow, Liverpool have Reading, you gonna watch the mighty reds later?”
Tony: “Yeah I’ll get some ales in!”
Me: “Good man!”
Right where was I? Better get my Red Liverpool Home shirt on for later, Akki 9 on the back, fantastic!
Wonder if Phoenix got the one I sent him?
* * *
Scene opens to the main terminal on Mular Bay Spaceport.
(Me) *walks in through the main doors wearing a red shirt*
A dozen random people come rushing up to the Captain, all talking over each other.
(Me) “What the fuck do you bitches want?”
The group continues to talk over each other.
(Me) “ONE AT A TIME YOU FUCK WADS!”
Everyone in the group instantly shuts up and doesn’t know what to do until one man who is obviously a union rep speaks up.
(Pirates Union Rep.) “Um, Captain Phoenix . . . why are you wearing a Liverpool shirt?”
(Me) *shrugs* “Because Man-U sucks, next and last question.”
(Pirates Union Rep.) “Captain, may I speak with you in private about a union matter?”
(Me) “No, that’s all the questions you lot get so fuck off.” *heads over to the elevators behind the reception area*
Scene switches to the communications center a few minutes later.
For some reason J, Vu and Chelle are all hanging around in the room with Laura and Nicole. Completely avoiding anything that might even remotely resemble work.
(Me) *walks into the communications center* “What the hell is everyone doing?”
(J) “Nothing, what you doing?”
(Me) “Same thing really. People bother me less when I’m here or in my office for some reason.”
(Chelle) “Probably because they figure it’s the last place you want to be so they think your either not there or will likely shoot them if they bother you.”
(Vu) “Not like he won’t shoot them in the bar.”
(J) “Or on the elevator.”
(Laura) “Or from across the landing pad.”
(Nicole) “At least we haven’t had to clean up strawberries for a while.”
(Me) “. . . Isn’t there something you all could be doing? Like Pirating?”
(Chelle) “Why? You’re not pirating.”
(Me) “Have you seen me without the medical hologram recently?”
(Chelle) “Is it really that bad? Or are you just not into it if you can’t drink as much?”
(Me) *turns off the P.C.D. attached his belt and takes off his shirt* “Does it look like I’m up for a lot of drinking or pirating?”
Everyone just kind of stares in complete shock at the myriad of black and purple bruises fresh scars and stitches held together by some sort of artificial skin.
(Chelle) “Holy shit, why are you up and walking around? You look like you were in an all out hockey fight with a super hero.”
(Me) “Really? I feel like a took a nap in a cement mixer full of concrete blocks.” *puts his Liverpool shirt back on and clicks the hologram back on as well*
(J) “That explains a lot dude, I had no idea you were this messed up. Has Clan found anything helpful yet? You know, genetics wise…”
(Me) “I’m going down there tomorrow, we’re testing some shit out in one of the better facilities in Fourspire west.”
(Chelle) “Isn’t there a bunch of shit going on down there with the phoenix people?”
(Nicole) “That’s in the eastern sector. Those guys are fuckin assholes.”
(Laura) “Yeah, all the ‘we’re the greater life form, you humans should bow down before us and be our slaves’ shit got old months ago.”
(Me) “Sibene has been handling that shit hasn’t she?”
(Nicole) “If by handling you mean shutting them up for a week or so, so their leaders can rile them up all over again.”
(Me) “Suggestions?”
(Nicole) “Shoot their leaders.”
(Me) “. . . Already killed one of those bitches, I don’t think death really bothers them, even the permanent kind.”
(Chelle) “I don’t get it, after all we’ve done for them they treat us like we’re the assholes. I mean, we saved them from slavery, we wrecked their planet in the process, but we then saved them from said burning shithole planet, gave them refuge on Orien and offered them all the opportunities in the world so long as they were willing to work for it like everyone else. But we’re the assholes and should worship them.”
(Vu) “And they hate us and we're phoenix too! Probably even more so than they are!”
(Me) “They don’t all hate us, just the loudest 10%. What’s really full of shit is the way they treat Sibene, she was a princess in her generation and now they look down on her like she sold them out or something. And all she does is help those fuckers! . . . I should give her a raise.”
(Vu) “You actually have her on payroll?”
(Me) “Fuck no, you bitches know you keep what you steal and only get a portion of the heist you were involved in.”
(J) “Not me, I get a portion of the heists of any ship I had to do tech work on beforehand.”
(Chelle) “You ass, so that’s why you’re always working on shit instead of leaving it to the Darknauts.”
(Vu) “Duh, I could have told you that, it’s the same reason I do freight runs, always get a portion of the revenue.”
(Chelle) “What? I’ve been on freight runs with you and never got paid for it!”
(Vu) “. . . Crap.”
(Chelle) “Pay up bitch!”
(Laura) “Phoenix, S.S. Nic is calling for you, something about the Pirates Union reps that are here.”
(Me) “Where is he calling from?”
(Laura) “His office, up stairs.”
(Me) “Oh, tell him I’ll be up there in a minute.”
(Laura) “Sure . . . can I go on your next heist?”
(Me) “What if it involves a planet with wet grass?”
(Laura) “I don’t have to leave the ship do I?”
(Me) “. . . Fair enough. J, you have some cargo to run to Earth right?”
(J) “Yeah, we’re running a dimensional jump drill on Mars. Mass evacuation crap. They’re paying us a shitload.”
(Me) “How long will that take you?”
(J) “Week, maybe 2, depends how long it takes to get the tech calibrated.”
(Me) “Alright, Vu you have plans?”
(Vu) “Going to head out and pick up Angelica. She’s running something I guess, information gathering for something or other.”
(Me) “Is she done or does she just need a better ship to follow up some leads?”
(Vu) “Hell if I know, probably still tracking down leads.”
(Me) “Awesome, keep me informed.” *turns to Chelle*
(Chelle) “Don’t look at me, I don’t have anything going on.”
(Me) “Well that’s just fucking wonderful then, you can stick around and do whatever it is the Pirates Union is here for. If it’s a something and not just an annoying visit.”
(Chelle) “Fuck . . .”
(Me) *walks out of the communications center*
(Vu) “See, always have a backup plan in case he asks!”
Scene fades.
Day 6
IN the elevator heading up to S.S. Nic’s office, so I figured I’d update real quick. Took about 5 days off to recuperate from shit. Spent some of that time in a portable lab. And caught up on reports, mostly Akki’s. fucker sent me a stack of paper tall enough to make an origami village, which is exactly what I did with it because reading it was boring as fuck. He included a summery so it’s not like I missed anything important. Shit, what else . . . Oh Arcust is back finally. Dark0 lifted the silent running order when he was confident they can collected all of the space mines. Or at least all the ones that could do damage, guess they left the ones that hooked themselves to the hull and just ran a frequency wave and detonated them all. Not like they could do any damage, syntainium hull and all. Rea is pissed that Dark0 had command over her, but honestly I don’t care. Behemoth is separated from Arcust for now anyway as she has some fucking shit to do at Twilight Spaceport while Dark0 was going to send Arcust back out to its mining assembly to get back to tearing apart this systems asteroid field. It’s almost amazing how much shit we mine out of this system and even more amazing is the price we manage to sell the junk materials for. Gotta love having a business pirate on one side and control over the crooked dealers in the space black market by proxy on the other…
Scene opens in S.S. Nic’s office on Mular Bay Spaceport.
(S.S. Nic) “Did you get hounded by the Union Reps when you got here?”
(Me)”Yeah, couldn’t tell who all was who though. what the fuck do they want now?”
(S.S. Nic) “Technology, as usual.”
(Me) ”Well they’re not getting any.”
(S.S. Nic) “I keep telling them that, but I guess they want to offer the same deal as before, when you helped streamline their mark 12 project.”
(Me) “Fuck them, it’s bad enough they steal our tech and then bribe me to fix it for them when they can’t make it work now they want me to fix some of their bullshit.”
(S.S. Nic) “Actually I think it’s more stolen tech, they’re trying to develop a dimension drive.”
(Me) “Not helping.”
(S.S. Nic) “Their offer is pretty…”
(Me) “I’m not giving them dimension drive technology, never going to fucking happen, not about to hand them and every fucking pirate organization in the Pirates Union dimensional jump capabilities. Seriously, they can lick a flaming turd fresh from my ass after Mexican night and you can quote me directly on that.”
There’s laughter coming from a com’s unit on the table. Rather distinct laughter.
(Me) “Outlawed?”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Hey Phoenix.”
(Me) “What is M’s on too?”
(S.S. Nic) “No, she said we could handle this without her.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Fuckin bitch.”
(Me) “Would you get the fuck over shit already? Fucksake.”
(S.S. Nic) “Ok, so no dimension drives for the Pirates Union. What else were they asking for, hyperspace highway in the dark zone.”
(Me) “Nope, we get too much revenue from the non union freight.”
(S.S. Nic) “Cloning technology, I know that’s out of the question.”
(Me) “Damn right it is.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Can we tell them to fuck off from my spaceport? The outpost is fucking crowded since we got the planet vault out here as a shipyard and cleared up a fuckload of the radiation.”
(Me) “Yeah, you can tell them to fuck off, and if they don’t leave just tell Ravena to eat them.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “She’d do that?”
(Me) “No, but we have a claim to the area. The union has no business there.”
(S.S. Nic) “Exactly, we own the pirating rights to that whole constellation. I made sure the paperwork went through and was completely approved myself.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Fuckin sweet! I’ve been getting really tired of their crap.”
(S.S. Nic) “That’s all the union crap I see on the list. Past that people have been asking what’s up with the Ari clone.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Clone? They made another one of her?”
(Me) “She’s little more than a life sign reading in a computer at the moment. About as active as a dormant A.I.”
(S.S. Nic) “Is she safe? I mean, I heard she came out of a lab designed to make shit to send after you.”
(Me) “She helped me and Ari fight off a bunch of fucking mutants trying to kill us and all but sacrificed herself in the process, I think that qualifies her for a little fucking trust, yeah.”
(S.S. Nic) “Ok, ok. But she’s in some kind of cyber coma now, right?”
(Me) “Dormant as far as we can tell yeah. Ari and I put her energy signature into a non networked learning computer with a fairly decent power source, she should be fine if she ever wakes up.”
(S.S. Nic) “And what about your special project lab?”
(Me) “What special project lab?”
(S.S. Nic) “The one with the Angeline assassin.”
(Me) “How the fuck did you hear about that?”
(S.S. Nic) “Chelle told me, she usually has a lot of info when I bump into her in the bar.”
(Me) “Fucksake, I need to remind her who she works for . . . About the Angeline, I transferred it for study. It might have some genetic memory we can use if we ever run into them again. and considering I fucking ran into a lab paid for by the fucking Angeline that’s a safe fucking bet.”
(S.S. Nic) “Fair enough, so we’re keeping this on the down low? No one below say fleet commander has clearance to know this?”
(Me) “Sounds fine to me . . . wait, are you messing with mind erasing shit again?”
(S.S. Nic) “. . .”
(Me) “You remember what happened last time, don’t you?”
(S.S. Nic) “Oh come on, that shit was funny.” *smiles*
(Me) “. . .” *laughs* “Yeah it was pretty funny.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “What the fuck happened?”
(Me) “Fucker made memory erasing powder and put it in the coffee creamer in the office. For a week and a half women were peeing themselves because they kept drinking coffee after coffee completely forgetting how much coffee they had had and that they had to go to the bathroom.”
(Captain Outlawed) *laughing over com’s* “That’s fuckin harsh man.”
(S.S. Nic) “Took a month to catch up on all the paperwork, but that shit was worth it!”
(Me) “Just a shining example why I don’t put fuck all in my coffee other than booze.”
Scene fades.
Fleet Admiral Akki, Fleets AI Log:
Day 1:
So it’s back to this is it? Now we have returned to port, the senior staff and ship commanders of Port Royal requested my attention.
I’ll be forwarding the findings of the various dimensions I visited to Phoenix, although he won’t care I still proved a point made from a joke.
So, on to the briefing room I guess…
-Scene opens in the Port Royal briefing room-
Me: “So what the fuck do you lot want?”
Tony: “Alright boss?”
Me: “Yeah, what’s this all about then?”
Tony: “Well the senior staff and Captain of Port Royal got you something, for you finally being recognized as one down from the high captains. Plus you always seem to pull a battle around, keep everyone doing the job they should be. All around you’re the best C.O. any of us have ever had!”
Me: “You’re not getting a raise…”
Tony: “HAHAHAHAHAHA I know, anyway here it is!”
-Tony hands the Admiral a new gun and key-
Me: “A gun and key is that it?”
Dn6: “It’s the key to the Rama, it’s space worthy now!”
Me: “Is it perfect?”
Dn6: “Well not really but it’s in working order, same size as the Arcust with practically the same weapons!”
Me: “Get it back in dock until its perfect!”
Tony: “Ok everyone back to work!”
-Everyone leaves the briefing room apart from the Admiral and Tony-
Tony: “You know boss, that gun is from planet France’ past.”
Me: “Is it?”
Tony: "You know boss, this gun we got you is an antique from planet France. It’s an early plasma pistol so it will burn holes through literally anything!"
Me: “Fantastic! Ready the Aroi-Sun lets go shopping for the sales!”
-Scene fades out with the Admiral and Tony walking out of the briefing room-
Day 2:
I got a chance to use my new gun, it certainly does boar through things and people, one shot went through three salesman and finally made a whole in the wall on the black market planet.
ONE SHOT!
Amazing piece of tech, needless to say I shall be using this again as often as possible!
Tony: “Oh hey FA CUP is on today, we are playing west ham tomorrow. Who have you got?”
Me: “Hmm Arsenal v West Ham should be a good one to watch tomorrow, Liverpool have Reading, you gonna watch the mighty reds later?”
Tony: “Yeah I’ll get some ales in!”
Me: “Good man!”
Right where was I? Better get my Red Liverpool Home shirt on for later, Akki 9 on the back, fantastic!
Wonder if Phoenix got the one I sent him?
* * *
Scene opens to the main terminal on Mular Bay Spaceport.
(Me) *walks in through the main doors wearing a red shirt*
A dozen random people come rushing up to the Captain, all talking over each other.
(Me) “What the fuck do you bitches want?”
The group continues to talk over each other.
(Me) “ONE AT A TIME YOU FUCK WADS!”
Everyone in the group instantly shuts up and doesn’t know what to do until one man who is obviously a union rep speaks up.
(Pirates Union Rep.) “Um, Captain Phoenix . . . why are you wearing a Liverpool shirt?”
(Me) *shrugs* “Because Man-U sucks, next and last question.”
(Pirates Union Rep.) “Captain, may I speak with you in private about a union matter?”
(Me) “No, that’s all the questions you lot get so fuck off.” *heads over to the elevators behind the reception area*
Scene switches to the communications center a few minutes later.
For some reason J, Vu and Chelle are all hanging around in the room with Laura and Nicole. Completely avoiding anything that might even remotely resemble work.
(Me) *walks into the communications center* “What the hell is everyone doing?”
(J) “Nothing, what you doing?”
(Me) “Same thing really. People bother me less when I’m here or in my office for some reason.”
(Chelle) “Probably because they figure it’s the last place you want to be so they think your either not there or will likely shoot them if they bother you.”
(Vu) “Not like he won’t shoot them in the bar.”
(J) “Or on the elevator.”
(Laura) “Or from across the landing pad.”
(Nicole) “At least we haven’t had to clean up strawberries for a while.”
(Me) “. . . Isn’t there something you all could be doing? Like Pirating?”
(Chelle) “Why? You’re not pirating.”
(Me) “Have you seen me without the medical hologram recently?”
(Chelle) “Is it really that bad? Or are you just not into it if you can’t drink as much?”
(Me) *turns off the P.C.D. attached his belt and takes off his shirt* “Does it look like I’m up for a lot of drinking or pirating?”
Everyone just kind of stares in complete shock at the myriad of black and purple bruises fresh scars and stitches held together by some sort of artificial skin.
(Chelle) “Holy shit, why are you up and walking around? You look like you were in an all out hockey fight with a super hero.”
(Me) “Really? I feel like a took a nap in a cement mixer full of concrete blocks.” *puts his Liverpool shirt back on and clicks the hologram back on as well*
(J) “That explains a lot dude, I had no idea you were this messed up. Has Clan found anything helpful yet? You know, genetics wise…”
(Me) “I’m going down there tomorrow, we’re testing some shit out in one of the better facilities in Fourspire west.”
(Chelle) “Isn’t there a bunch of shit going on down there with the phoenix people?”
(Nicole) “That’s in the eastern sector. Those guys are fuckin assholes.”
(Laura) “Yeah, all the ‘we’re the greater life form, you humans should bow down before us and be our slaves’ shit got old months ago.”
(Me) “Sibene has been handling that shit hasn’t she?”
(Nicole) “If by handling you mean shutting them up for a week or so, so their leaders can rile them up all over again.”
(Me) “Suggestions?”
(Nicole) “Shoot their leaders.”
(Me) “. . . Already killed one of those bitches, I don’t think death really bothers them, even the permanent kind.”
(Chelle) “I don’t get it, after all we’ve done for them they treat us like we’re the assholes. I mean, we saved them from slavery, we wrecked their planet in the process, but we then saved them from said burning shithole planet, gave them refuge on Orien and offered them all the opportunities in the world so long as they were willing to work for it like everyone else. But we’re the assholes and should worship them.”
(Vu) “And they hate us and we're phoenix too! Probably even more so than they are!”
(Me) “They don’t all hate us, just the loudest 10%. What’s really full of shit is the way they treat Sibene, she was a princess in her generation and now they look down on her like she sold them out or something. And all she does is help those fuckers! . . . I should give her a raise.”
(Vu) “You actually have her on payroll?”
(Me) “Fuck no, you bitches know you keep what you steal and only get a portion of the heist you were involved in.”
(J) “Not me, I get a portion of the heists of any ship I had to do tech work on beforehand.”
(Chelle) “You ass, so that’s why you’re always working on shit instead of leaving it to the Darknauts.”
(Vu) “Duh, I could have told you that, it’s the same reason I do freight runs, always get a portion of the revenue.”
(Chelle) “What? I’ve been on freight runs with you and never got paid for it!”
(Vu) “. . . Crap.”
(Chelle) “Pay up bitch!”
(Laura) “Phoenix, S.S. Nic is calling for you, something about the Pirates Union reps that are here.”
(Me) “Where is he calling from?”
(Laura) “His office, up stairs.”
(Me) “Oh, tell him I’ll be up there in a minute.”
(Laura) “Sure . . . can I go on your next heist?”
(Me) “What if it involves a planet with wet grass?”
(Laura) “I don’t have to leave the ship do I?”
(Me) “. . . Fair enough. J, you have some cargo to run to Earth right?”
(J) “Yeah, we’re running a dimensional jump drill on Mars. Mass evacuation crap. They’re paying us a shitload.”
(Me) “How long will that take you?”
(J) “Week, maybe 2, depends how long it takes to get the tech calibrated.”
(Me) “Alright, Vu you have plans?”
(Vu) “Going to head out and pick up Angelica. She’s running something I guess, information gathering for something or other.”
(Me) “Is she done or does she just need a better ship to follow up some leads?”
(Vu) “Hell if I know, probably still tracking down leads.”
(Me) “Awesome, keep me informed.” *turns to Chelle*
(Chelle) “Don’t look at me, I don’t have anything going on.”
(Me) “Well that’s just fucking wonderful then, you can stick around and do whatever it is the Pirates Union is here for. If it’s a something and not just an annoying visit.”
(Chelle) “Fuck . . .”
(Me) *walks out of the communications center*
(Vu) “See, always have a backup plan in case he asks!”
Scene fades.
Day 6
IN the elevator heading up to S.S. Nic’s office, so I figured I’d update real quick. Took about 5 days off to recuperate from shit. Spent some of that time in a portable lab. And caught up on reports, mostly Akki’s. fucker sent me a stack of paper tall enough to make an origami village, which is exactly what I did with it because reading it was boring as fuck. He included a summery so it’s not like I missed anything important. Shit, what else . . . Oh Arcust is back finally. Dark0 lifted the silent running order when he was confident they can collected all of the space mines. Or at least all the ones that could do damage, guess they left the ones that hooked themselves to the hull and just ran a frequency wave and detonated them all. Not like they could do any damage, syntainium hull and all. Rea is pissed that Dark0 had command over her, but honestly I don’t care. Behemoth is separated from Arcust for now anyway as she has some fucking shit to do at Twilight Spaceport while Dark0 was going to send Arcust back out to its mining assembly to get back to tearing apart this systems asteroid field. It’s almost amazing how much shit we mine out of this system and even more amazing is the price we manage to sell the junk materials for. Gotta love having a business pirate on one side and control over the crooked dealers in the space black market by proxy on the other…
Scene opens in S.S. Nic’s office on Mular Bay Spaceport.
(S.S. Nic) “Did you get hounded by the Union Reps when you got here?”
(Me)”Yeah, couldn’t tell who all was who though. what the fuck do they want now?”
(S.S. Nic) “Technology, as usual.”
(Me) ”Well they’re not getting any.”
(S.S. Nic) “I keep telling them that, but I guess they want to offer the same deal as before, when you helped streamline their mark 12 project.”
(Me) “Fuck them, it’s bad enough they steal our tech and then bribe me to fix it for them when they can’t make it work now they want me to fix some of their bullshit.”
(S.S. Nic) “Actually I think it’s more stolen tech, they’re trying to develop a dimension drive.”
(Me) “Not helping.”
(S.S. Nic) “Their offer is pretty…”
(Me) “I’m not giving them dimension drive technology, never going to fucking happen, not about to hand them and every fucking pirate organization in the Pirates Union dimensional jump capabilities. Seriously, they can lick a flaming turd fresh from my ass after Mexican night and you can quote me directly on that.”
There’s laughter coming from a com’s unit on the table. Rather distinct laughter.
(Me) “Outlawed?”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Hey Phoenix.”
(Me) “What is M’s on too?”
(S.S. Nic) “No, she said we could handle this without her.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Fuckin bitch.”
(Me) “Would you get the fuck over shit already? Fucksake.”
(S.S. Nic) “Ok, so no dimension drives for the Pirates Union. What else were they asking for, hyperspace highway in the dark zone.”
(Me) “Nope, we get too much revenue from the non union freight.”
(S.S. Nic) “Cloning technology, I know that’s out of the question.”
(Me) “Damn right it is.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Can we tell them to fuck off from my spaceport? The outpost is fucking crowded since we got the planet vault out here as a shipyard and cleared up a fuckload of the radiation.”
(Me) “Yeah, you can tell them to fuck off, and if they don’t leave just tell Ravena to eat them.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “She’d do that?”
(Me) “No, but we have a claim to the area. The union has no business there.”
(S.S. Nic) “Exactly, we own the pirating rights to that whole constellation. I made sure the paperwork went through and was completely approved myself.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Fuckin sweet! I’ve been getting really tired of their crap.”
(S.S. Nic) “That’s all the union crap I see on the list. Past that people have been asking what’s up with the Ari clone.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “Clone? They made another one of her?”
(Me) “She’s little more than a life sign reading in a computer at the moment. About as active as a dormant A.I.”
(S.S. Nic) “Is she safe? I mean, I heard she came out of a lab designed to make shit to send after you.”
(Me) “She helped me and Ari fight off a bunch of fucking mutants trying to kill us and all but sacrificed herself in the process, I think that qualifies her for a little fucking trust, yeah.”
(S.S. Nic) “Ok, ok. But she’s in some kind of cyber coma now, right?”
(Me) “Dormant as far as we can tell yeah. Ari and I put her energy signature into a non networked learning computer with a fairly decent power source, she should be fine if she ever wakes up.”
(S.S. Nic) “And what about your special project lab?”
(Me) “What special project lab?”
(S.S. Nic) “The one with the Angeline assassin.”
(Me) “How the fuck did you hear about that?”
(S.S. Nic) “Chelle told me, she usually has a lot of info when I bump into her in the bar.”
(Me) “Fucksake, I need to remind her who she works for . . . About the Angeline, I transferred it for study. It might have some genetic memory we can use if we ever run into them again. and considering I fucking ran into a lab paid for by the fucking Angeline that’s a safe fucking bet.”
(S.S. Nic) “Fair enough, so we’re keeping this on the down low? No one below say fleet commander has clearance to know this?”
(Me) “Sounds fine to me . . . wait, are you messing with mind erasing shit again?”
(S.S. Nic) “. . .”
(Me) “You remember what happened last time, don’t you?”
(S.S. Nic) “Oh come on, that shit was funny.” *smiles*
(Me) “. . .” *laughs* “Yeah it was pretty funny.”
(Captain Outlawed) *over com’s* “What the fuck happened?”
(Me) “Fucker made memory erasing powder and put it in the coffee creamer in the office. For a week and a half women were peeing themselves because they kept drinking coffee after coffee completely forgetting how much coffee they had had and that they had to go to the bathroom.”
(Captain Outlawed) *laughing over com’s* “That’s fuckin harsh man.”
(S.S. Nic) “Took a month to catch up on all the paperwork, but that shit was worth it!”
(Me) “Just a shining example why I don’t put fuck all in my coffee other than booze.”
Scene fades.