WTF Wednesday - Round 105
Only a day behind this time! Lemme chug this one out to you guys real quick, since I keep hearing one of those horns clowns honk behind me and I think it might be signaling my doom. No... really. Someone is honking one of those behind me.
Let's get the ball rolling with 5 real news items that may be superhero origin stories. Their number one has appeared in the linkies before, and I've heard of one other one elsewhere, but they're pretty awesome.
Speaking of superheroes, check out this craiglist ad male villain seeking female arch-enemy. Ahahah.
Hooooly shit, this guy is serious. Self defense lesson 17:2 - hand grab to the chest situation No.2 has either the best self-defense teacher or one most likely to kill his pupils. Really, it's a close call.
Sir.... sir. :| Father sells daughter for beer. "A man has been arrested in California after allegedly arranging for his 14-year-old daughter to marry a neighbour in exchange for beer, meat and $16,000." I just... no.
I know someone who's currently trying to move to Australia so we were teasing him about how Australia has been trying to kill the universe... this song goes to him: deadly animals (Come to Australia).
FUCK YES. 7 mind-blowing hidden Easter eggs hidden in famous works of art. My personal favorite, which I seem to vaguely recall hearing years ago, is their number 7. Four I was also familiar with (BUTTS!), as well as 2, but (BUTT?!) seriously, these are all great. Ahahah, I laughed so much when I caught this one.
Son gets bad grade. Mother is displeased. Mother decides to punish boy. Mother makes boy kill pet hamster. With a hammer. Boy, and everyone else who reads this story is traumatized for life. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.
I think the pope found out about "popefacts" on twitter and decided to jump on the bandwagon. Pope urges priests to embrace social media, start blogging. I may think this guy is a Sith Lord secretly, but really: I would watch the pope if he started vlogging. No lie.
And parenting isn't done reaching new highs today. 'Oral sex' definition prompts dictionary ban in US schools. "A parent's complaint over a 'sexually graphic' definition has seen dictionaries removed from southern Californian schools." And what exactly is the definition? "Oral stimulation of the genitals." ...What, precisely, is graphic about that? AND IT GETS BETTER: "'It's hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we'll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature,' district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus told the paper." Someone find me her so I can slap her silly. Actually, someone get me her address so I can mail her the definition of "graphic."
Walmart clown commercial. Watch. LOL at the strangeness of it.
OH WHAT THE FUCK. I think the world went crazy this week. This Insane Clown Posse movie is real, my ninjas. Yes, as in THAT Insane Clown Posse. I love how the article starts: "If this was 2009, I would say "is this real life?" but it is 2010, and that reference has gone out of fashion, so I will just stick with the more traditional WHAAAAAAAAT?"
7 popular chick flicks that secretly hate women. Except not so secretly. Of them, I've only seen one (their number 1), wanted to see one (#4), and am not shocked by any of them. And of COURSE Twilight is on the list.
Nun punching a shark as a Transformer looks on in the background. Yes. ...That's actually sorta how I feel after reading some of the links above.
Whoopsie, failsauce. Alabama anti-gambling task force chief wins jackpot. Then resigns. Then things get weird. And you know what? I think I'm going to end it there. I was going to top of the end of the linkies with something really creepy, but that can wait until next week, after all the WTF this week.