WTF Wednesday - Round 85

[the_perkygoff]

Rather than, say, study for chemistry or watch anime or something, I've opted to filling your memory banks with some linkies this Wednesday morning. Take some time to enjoy them, will ya? I wish I had more 9-ish related links for today, but I wasn't think in that regard sadly (I swapped any "top [#]" lists for top 9 lists, at least). EDIT: FOOK. I can't even post all (two) of them! I want to save one for a bit. I'm sorry!

I thought I posted something like this ages ago... that, or someone else did something verily similar about a year ago. Teen's "fantastic" new name is "super" long. "The Glastonbury, England, teenager -- originally named George Garratt -- said his new name, which is thought to be the world's longest, has so outraged his grandmother that she is no longer speaking to him, The Telegraph reported Monday." Way to go, Mr. Captain Combined.

Pro-tip: don't bite your own junk. M-maybe he's just into that kind of thing? "'How he did it? Limber, I guess. Not the work of a sane mind,' a police official told The Daily News."

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) until I just re-watched it now, before posting this entry. I'm currently trying to get my snickers to a minimum and am kinda failing at the moment. The copy-pasta'd video is really not helping at all.

TENTACLE GRAPE! (Buy me some, kay?)

Dammit. I'm hungry and forgot I had this one planned today. Any who: now you, too, can own THE OCARINA OF TIME ALL WHITE MEAT. Hear that? It's the song of nom noms.

I could have linked to some kind of scientific article about this, but seriously, "WTF Nature" puts it best. The Honey Badger Badger of Death Honey Badger the littlest, meanest, and top current asshole of the animal kingdom. Lions and cheetah and crocs avoid this little dude... not only does it have magic skunk abilities and skin like fucking Mr. Fantastic, but I strongly suspect it's the Honey Badger's propensity to attack your junk that has the rest of the animal kingdom all щ(ﾟДﾟщ). There's a comment on the entry that really sums up my opinion on the little guys: "So not only can they pretty much kill anything, including an elephant (by biting his trunk and suffocating him), and that they WANT to kill anything, they're smart on top of everything else... That's.. amazing. Remind me never to fuck with a honey badger."

This had me f'n rolling when I found it last week. Font Fight. It's about what you expect it to be like and even more awesome than you expect it to be like. (Also be sure to watch the prequel video font conference after you've seen Font Fight.

This is such a soda win. Ahahahaha! Courtesy ghzero.

I'm Glad I'm A Boy! I'm Glad I'm A Girl! ...I'm glad this book is a satire.

I DARE NOT QUESTION THE JAPANESE ANYMORE. And wow, two tentacle-raep pun links in one entry. This is, I kid you not, a lotion commercial.

SPEAKING OF NEVER QUESTIONING THE JAPANESE: Remember that life-sized Gundam I mentioned last week? Well, let's have a Gundam wedding! Because, shit, why not? (Courtesy serke and a ton of folks on Twitter)

THE CHURCH OF WHALE PENIS. NSFW DUE TO WHALE PENIS. Help them in their goal, in becoming the number one Google site for whale penis hits.

Dammit, spot the invisible women and men is so awesome. Camouflage painting at it's finest.

So, apparently there's a church group that has published a book of prayers to... I dunno, de-sin having sex? By praying beforehand. I mean, it seems the point of the book is to try to encourage couples to NOT getting divorce, which is good and dandy, but the prayers before humpy humps seems a little off.

YOUR "9" RELATED ARTICLE OF 9/9/09 IS THUS: the 9 manliest names in the world. That is, nine manliest names people are ACTUALLY named in the world. By the time they hit about 6, the names get awesomer and awesomer, and the number one wins at everything forever.

Since I'm not studying for chem like I should be, how 'bout we just look at the PERIODIC TABLE OF AWESOME COMIC BOOKS instead? There's a comic involving almost every element! (Actually, when I first found this, they hadn't gotten even as far as it's at now. I'm impressed.)

Manga Mein Kampf. MANGA MEIN KAMPT. I f'n dare you, Japan, to make an anime out of it.

IT'S THE R.O.U.S-es! That's "Rodents of Unusual Size," for all you who haven't seen Princess Bride. They've apparently been found, and I'm betting it was the fire swamps of Papua New Guinea.

ROBOCOP LOVE KFC! ...And is willing to destroy anyone who get in his way in obtaining it.

BOW CHIKA WOW WOW. XXX Hot Necrophiliac Lesbian Bdelloids. Unf. Ooh baby, ooh baby. "We have discovered a microscopic animal that engages in lesbian sex with its dead female friends in order to obtain DNA and thus survive to reproduce."

And to end... boundaries epic fail.

As always, the Master List contains all the linkies to date, alphabetical, and marked by what week they appeared.