WTF Wednesday - Round 82
Apologies for the massive lateness. Since round 83 is also going up late, the date on this article has been adjusted and reflects the date this entry should have gone up.
This was sent to me via someone on Twitter, and oh my fucking god. If you haven't heard about it yet, here's the link for 365Black.com. It's a website, which celebrates African American culture all year round. Doesn't sound too bad, right? In theory, there should be nothing wrong with this. But when the website is made by McDonald's, in yet another way of pandering to the Black community, it then becomes epic fail. It's basically a website all about how, by being African American and working for McDonald's, you might really make something of yourself! Pah. (My response tweet for this was along the lines of: "curiosity set in, so I checked 365yellow.com, 365red.com, and 365betchgitinthekitchenandmakemeasammich.com... alas. No avail." However, in my heart of hearts, I can only pray it's a matter of time. (¬_¬)
To lighten the mood, here's The Number To Heaven, which is truly best watched without any explanations given... well, other than the fact that it's basically a 37 second mini-movie. Oh lawd.
Is this the best hat ever? Yes... yes, I think it could be.
Oh those silly old-fashioned people, in the years before our time! They were so silly, with their asbestos and their lead paint! *cough* Anywho, here are 10 ads from history, that have since become ironic. Of course, in 40 years, people will look back at our ads and think we're all tards. Or on crack. One of the two.
This has got to be one of the best videos I've seen over the last couple weeks. Disney Templates points out certain... discrepancies over all the years of Disney. I just about busted a gut. Thank god there's someone out there who's a bigger Disney fan than I, to have noticed all these.
Epic article catches my eye always: Man arrested for making baby smile. "The man (who has not yet been named) allegedly, approached the baby and its mother with a 'silver ray-gun,' which lights up and makes a buzzing noise when the trigger is pulled. He pointed the toy at the baby and said, 'Pow-pow!'" The mother then panicked and the f'n SWAT team was called in. What a way to end your day. Question is, who ends up having a better story to tell: the guy who got arrested, or the mother who can tell her baby one day how some apparently crazy guy with a ray-gun tried to vaporize them.
IT'S WEIRD. I DIDN'T INTEND TO HAVE ALL THESE KID STORIES TODAY BUT I REFUSE TO CHANGE MY LINE-UP AT THIS POINT: child chokes on used condom. How does...? Where...? What was the...? You know what? Never mind.
Let's break away from the kid stories for just a second, so I can show you a portrait with nails As in, it was created with nails (building kind, not the kind that would instantly make this story gross). And by "portrait," I mean the guy recreated the famous DiVinci self-portrait. In nails. God, it's awesome.
To jump right back to kid stories! Fortunately, it's petrifying! Interactive toilet is suppose to help encourage young kids into, well, learning how to use the loo. But fuck no. I would be too scared to sit on the thing. All it needs is eyes, and then you can put it in the next Silent Hill game.
Oh... China. That's right! Japan's big brother is the one up to wacky shenanigans this time! 'Web addict' death investigated. And no, it's not that the kid WoW'd himself to death. Click the link to read more: "Chinese officials are investigating the case of a teenager who was allegedly beaten to death at a camp designed to treat internet addiction." So apparently China's solution to addition is to literally beat it out of you... you know what? I think this is a highly effective measure: fuck knows I wouldn't want to touch anything if I was beaten for even thinking about it and even if that didn't work, and the punishment was death, it leaves you with a 100% success rate for the survivors. D:
Speaking of the web... Leeroy Jenkins remix, anyone? I promise it's Glorious. It merits all the capitalization and italics and everything. If you somehow don't know who Leeroy Jenkins is... seriously, GTFO my internets.
ONCE AGAIN, ALL THE KID STORIES JUST KINDA HAPPENED. BUT YOU CAN SHAVE THE BABY. :|
Okay, that was weird enough I'm breaking from the kid stories for awhile. Here's a fantastic little video about chemistry. Seriously. Watch it. I wish I had this kind of thing back in high school. It would have made the learning for the lulz.
Things bears love. :|
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK. Immortal jellyfish swarming across the world. What the FUCK. Oh, I do not like this news. I do not like this news one little fucking bit.
Oh... France. Did I get ya into thinking I was gonna write Japan again? Well, I may as well have. Here's some crazy designed hair styles that are completely impractical but may help in asserting dominance in the wild (all the better when those immortal jellyfishes collapse humanity around it's ears and civilization crumbles). Before anyone screams "photoshop!" I'd like to point out this video. I warn you the video does have Lady Gaga singing in it, so if you're scared of that, turn away. I will say this: I'm not a Lady Gaga fan, but I like the acoustic version of Poker Face she does in the video. Also... I can't stop staring at her head.
Ja-ja-ja-JENGA FAIL. Ooooooh... feck. щ(ﾟДﾟщ)
Oh... oh fine. Yes. Japan. And... WHAT... WHAT. You made yourself a life-sized Gundam?!? Japan, you never fail the world in the end. Coming up with your solutions to the immortal jellyfish crisis. I applaud your sense of ingenuity.
Some days, I think to myself, "y'know... you should really make a Batman tag." And then I don't do anything about it. And speaking of building awesome shit, someone went and made the Tumbler, from the recent Batman movies. Except it's in box car form. I'm kinda jealous.
I had this originally placed much higher up in the order for the linkies today (actually after the first link, with the line "in news that's actually touching") but I realized this is a much better ending link: Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'. I was wibbling so much through this article (especially having seen Up). "Colby [Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer] had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film. After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue. The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie." ;_;
