Meme: Fic Works in Progress (Dean/Castiel)...
The meme:
When you see this, post a little weensy excerpt from as many random works-in-progress as you can find lying around. Who knows? Maybe inspiration will burst forth and do something, um, inspiration-y.
I stole this WIP fic snippet meme from rock_my_town ages ago. So I've been meaning to do this meme for a while now. And since I need to get in the new writing material mode after my big bang, I decided to do it today :oP I'm just including my Dean/Castiel fics here. Because my old Tsubasa fics and Inuyasha fics? Yeah, I'll probs never, ever finish those lol.
Looking back on all my unfinished fic (there are loads :o/), I realize I must have a thing for writing falling!Castiel. Idk, I think it's fascinating, all the emotional, physical, whatever stuff that comes with Castiel falling. Both on Castiel's part AND Dean's part. So for the most part? You'll see that here in my unfinished fics.
A few of the fics I'm posting because rereading them has piqued my interest in them again for one reason or another. I'm planning on finishing some relatively soon, so... *crosses fingers*. And um, yeah... my deancasbigbang fic is included in here, as well (unless my other idea decides it wants to be written within in the next 1-2 weeks :oP) And yeah... I didn't include my ferret 'verse here because that should be finished and posted within the week.
And just a quick warning... some of these snippets involve smexy times. So if you don't want to read those, proceed with caution. (I think it's safe to say that it's not NC-17, though... more like hard PG-13 to R).
Okay, now time to stop babbling... onto the fic! ;o)
None of these are beta’d, and a lot are in their first draft stages. I apologize, and you’ve been warned ;o)
5.16 Coda
So this is one I’m hoping to finish soon. It explores Dean’s idea of faith, as well as Castiel’s idea of faith, and how each of their ideas interweave with the other. And yeah… it involves some pron… because um… that’s how it came out when I was writing it hehe.
“Cas.” Dean didn’t realize until he heard his voice how desperate he was. His voice is broken, a thready whisper. And Dean needs Cas just as much as he needs to give this to Cas, to give Cas something other than blank stares and absent fathers. Because as much as Castiel had always believed that God would answer his prayers, Dean had just begun to believe. And now, losing that new faith is just as painful, he thinks, than losing a faith he’s had forever. Because with him, trust and faith only develop after years, and even rarely then. And Dean had wanted so desperately, at the end, to believe. To believe that there was some way out. To believe that something out there cared a fuck about him, might help get them out of this, because he’s not seeing any solution and the world’s going to burn.
Dean just wants to believe.
And he’d once been able to rely on believing Castiel, back before he visited Heaven and remembered. Castiel had come to him, whispering prayers in Latin and Aramaic and some other language Dean presumed was Enochian whispered against his skin, fingers weaving blessings and sigils into spine and hip and tongue. And Castiel’s Faith had been enough religion for Dean.
Castiel had been enough.
And now Castiel is a blank before him.
“Cas. Hey.” He touches his lips to the corner of castiel’s mouth, simply presses them there and waits, because if he moves, he’s not sure if Castiel will break. He’s not sure if he’ll break, because he’s not sure if Castiel is with him or not. And losing one more goddamed thing is just going to break him. He’s had enough breaking recently. For once, for now, he just wants this, some safety found in the arms of a rebel angel who no longer has faith in God.
5.18 Coda
Tbh, I’m thinking of turning this into something different than what it was originally intended. Originally it was just going to be a linear fic after 5.18, inspired by Cas’s speech to Dean before he carved the sigils on his chest. Now? I’m thinking snippets of time, seeing how Dean and Castiel’s interactions changed and morphed over season 4, season 5, and possibly into my imaginary season 6. We’ll see. Also, the snippets incredibly tiny, because, well... each of the snippets I'd written were on the short side :oP
“It’s hard,” Castiel sighed. “I believed in you. In what you assured me was the right path. And just when I believed in it, needed to believe in it, you backed out.” His gaze finally turned to Dean. His jaw was clenched tight, his eyes narrowed, and Dean wanted to take back all the words that made the fallen angel look at him like that. “You don’t fail your family, Dean. But you failed me. Apologies can’t fix that.”
The Race
This is being written for a friend, who wanted to see Castiel joining a race. (And it’s so close to being done, it’s not even funny… I just need to sit down and commit :o/) So, it takes place after the apocalypse and Castiel is basically human and settling into his humanity. However, while Sam finds his post-apocalypse restlessness taken care of in continued hunting, Dean is tired, and Castiel wishes to make a bigger difference than he is… aka, he’s feeling his loss of power and wishes to be able to do good even in his human form. Thus, whilst on vacation at Bobby’s, Castiel finds Race for the Cure. This scene is where Dean takes him to the town’s municipal center to sign Castiel up (and ends up filling out the form for him).
“There,” Dean said, turning the completed form around and sliding it through the window. “Good to go.”
Castiel was silent beside him, still warm even though they stood slightly apart now.
“Fantastic,” the girl said, glancing over the papers. She hesitated. “But you need to fill out one as well if you’re going to run,” she said, looking at Dean now. She slid a second form out from behind the first, passing it through the window with the pen again.
“Uh…” Dean stared at the paper. “I wasn’t…”
Castiel reached forward, grabbed his packet of directions still on the counter. Dean risked a glance at him. Castiel was staring at the packet, opening the flap and looking into the envelop at the papers within. But Dean had come to be able to read Castiel as well as he could read Sam by now. Castiel’s shoulders were tense, his expression distracted, and Dean felt something in his heart tighten.
“Yeah,” he said, turning back to the window and picking up the pen.
The rustling of papers coming from Castiel stopped. “Dean?”
Dean grunted, keeping his eyes to the paper. “Give me a second, Cas.”
They remained silent as Dean filled out his form, handed it back to the girl and took his own packet of directions. On the ride back to Bobby's, Castiel held both of their packets tightly, and it wasn’t until they were parked in Bobby's driveway and Dean got out of the car, that Castiel startled him, moving slowly but confidently towards him as he crowded him against the Impala.
The kiss was small, just a press of lips against the corner of Dean’s mouth, but Dean smiled into it, turned his head towards Castiel as he pulled away.
“Thank you, Dean.”
Dean grunted, placing his hands on Castiel’s hips and pulling him back against him. “I’ll need something to keep me busy during this vacation.”
He felt Castiel smile against his cheek. “Yes, Dean.”
The Second Time Around
Okay, so I started this one ages ago. Probably back a little bit before Abandon All Hope? It’s basically a longer fic about Castiel returning to Earth after the Apocalypse is ended. Sam goes off on his own (the brothers need time to grow separately) and returns to school, while Dean continues to hunt. Castiel returns from heaven and joins Dean. His second fall into humanity begins.
“So.” Dean glanced over at Castiel, noticed with some slight annoyance that the angel was staring out the windshield with a pensive, curious expression. Like the endless blacktop stretching beneath them was the next big mystery of the universe they had to solve. “Now that you have permission to stay here with us humans, you have all your angel mojo back, right?”
The silence that stretched between them made Dean nervous. He gripped the wheel under his palms tightly, enjoying the familiar feel. Something familiar in this world turned batshit crazy.
Just when he thought he’d never get an answer, Castiel said, “I have my powers back, Dean. But I will begin to lose them again.”
Dean’s body went rigid. He kept his eyes glued to the road.
“What the hell for? I thought God approved of your choice? Why the hell would you be here otherwise?”
For the first time since appearing in the passenger seat, Dean heard Castiel shift as he turn to look at him.
“It was my choice, and my Father approved of it. But I live amongst humans now, Dean.” His voice was calm, sure, resigned, and Dean wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or extremely pissed off at it. “It is unavoidable that my powers will diminish. Despite their weaknesses, humans are powerful in their own rights. I have seen it in you, in your brother, in Bobby. You are strong, resilient, you do not break easily. The world is difficult to live in, and yet humans endure. You were made to endure, my Father made sure of it. For angels, Dean, the longer we are here, the weaker we become.”
“The more human you become,” Dean clarified.
“Yes.” Dean could see Castiel nod slowly out of the corner of his eye. “This world was made for humans, Dean. Not angels. We need the light of Heaven to… recharge, you might call it. To keep our powers intact and at full strength. Why do you think Zachariah and the other angels never stayed on earth very long? Without the bond of our brothers, and Heaven around us, we lose a little bit of the Grace that belongs in Heaven.”
Dean shook his head, rubbed his jaw roughly with his palm.
“Then why choose this, Cas?” His voice sounded rough, weary, and suddenly Dean wanted nothing more than to pull the Impala over and sleep for an eternity at the side of the road.
“Because it is my choice, Dean. Because it is what I wish.”
“Some wish.” Dean laughed, and the bitterness welling up inside him did nothing for the guilt and blame he already felt bubbling to the surface. “You finally get to choose your own path, make your own choices, and you get this crappy, post-apocalyptic dump. Sorry to tell you, Cas, but you aren’t exactly starting off on the right foot.”
“Dean.”
Castiel stopped there, and Dean refused to look at the angel.
“Free will is just that. It is Free Will. Humans are free to choose their path for better or for worse.” He paused, and Dean heard him shifting again, probably looking back out the windshield. “But I don’t think this will end for the worst. Not now, anyway. And it is my choice. There are worse places to end up than at your side, Dean Winchester.”
After the End
A fic that starts angsty, but ends on a happier, kind of bittersweet note. Written way back when, before Abandon All Hope. Sam dies during the face-off with Lucifer. After disappearing to heaven for a while, Castiel returns to Dean. Dean tries to get back on track.
“Dean, promise me.” And there was a finality about his words that had Dean stiffening where he crouched over his weapons, cleaning and preparing for the next day’s battle.
“Sammy, what are you planning?”
And Sam was suddenly smiling. Fucking smiling in the middle of the apocalypse.
“Nothing, Dean. I’m just saying, if things should get bad, if things should go down like they did in Cold Oak, just let things rest. I want them to rest.”
And Dean had felt his stomach drop. But he snapped the colt closed, put her down and reached for the last .45 he had to clean.
“I’m not making any promises, Sammy.”
But Sam’s shoulders had relaxed, and Dean hadn’t known until then how tense his brother was.
And so, when the battle had gone down the next day, and Lucifer was back in hell and Sam’s body was bleeding out in his arms, Dean had let him go. There were still demons on earth, still supernatural creatures to send back to Hell along with Lucifer, and so if Dean chose to tell himself that he didn’t go to the crossroads like he had in Cold Oak, it was only because he still had work to do on Earth. As pointless and lonely and painful it suddenly was, he had to remember he’d gone four years on Earth and forty in Hell without Sam before. He’d just have to try to top that now and live without him for longer on Earth.
So he pressed his foot down harder on the gas pedal, watched the speedometer rise to 90 mph, and let Led Zepplin bleed out the windows of the Impala.
***
The sun was starting to set by the time Dean found himself starting to space out.
“Come on, man. Just a few more hours. Then you can bunker down somewhere.” He refused to acknowledge the silence that answered.
It wasn’t until he found himself jerking the wheel to the right, jerking the car back onto the right side of the road that he even started to consider pulling over for the night. But he shook his head, looked at his watch, and told himself just another half-hour. Just another half-hour on the endless road instead of in an empty motel room.
He barely registered the shift in the air around him, the slight sound of rustling feathers, before he found himself glancing at the passenger seat.
“Finally decided to crawl your way back to the land of the living?”
It should have surprised him, really, that Castiel had suddenly appeared in the Impala’s passenger seat. But he’d grown too used to the angel’s presence during the constant battles and recuperating periods during the apocalypse to be surprised anymore. If anything, he’d grown too used to the angel’s presence during the end of the world, but he didn’t like to admit that even to himself.
“I had things to do. I apologize for taking so long, Dean.”
Dean glanced at the angel from the corner of his eye, as if reassuring himself the angel was sticking around for more than a few moments.
“So, you did what you had to do? Straightened up all the angel crap upstairs?” Dean hated the fact that he sounded more like a pissed off teenager rather than a nonchalant hunter who didn’t give a damn about what angels did after the end of the world came to a halt.
Castiel continued to stare out the front window.
“Yes. Everything is straightened out.”
Dean tried not to shift behind the wheel. “And?”
Castiel finally broke his gaze away from the road before them. “And what?”
Dean refused to look at the angel. “And are you going back up to the barracks? Going back up to St. Peter’s pearly white gates?”
There was an odd sound from the seat next to him, almost like a muffled laugh, but when Dean turned to look at him, Castiel’s face was as humorless as it was before he’d been blown to bits by Raphael and disobeyed that first time.
“No, Dean. I’ve been given permission to remain on earth for as long as I’d like.”
Dean jerked his head back. “Permission?”
There was a pause. Then, “My Father has decided to grant my wish of acting as liaison between Heaven and Earth. I will remain on Earth for a time.”
Dean shifted again behind the wheel, ran a hand over his jaw.
“Finally giving it to the man, then? Good for you, Cas.”
Silence stretched between them now, but it was oddly comfortable. Things were usually quiet between the two of them. Battle and stealth missions usually required silent communication, and they had had their fair share of battle and stealth during the apocalypse. Where circumstances had at first demanded it, life had somehow progressed to comfortable silence, settling into an almost comfortable norm for the two of them, despite the world falling apart around them.
Humanity
This… is a more angstier look at Castiel’s fall into humanity. He loses his mojo, and this fic focuses largely on how Castiel starts fitting into his body and his emotions from his perspective (really, close third person). So basically he falls into a comfortable rhythm with Dean and Sam until he starts acknowledging his feelings (amongst other feelings, the ones he harbors for Dean), and then eventually his desire to be able to stand on his own (which leads him to eventually slip away from the brothers and sees him traveling to a hunt solo, where he runs into trouble and then has to claim independence from a pissed off Dean when he returns). A “darker” fic, that deals with the nitty-gritty aspects of Castiel’s fall into humanity (without him falling into drug and alcohol use).
This is the scene where he realizes he has feelings for Dean…
It happens on the night when Dean excuses himself from the bar for a few moments, comes back with two women and introduces them to Castiel. Castiel stares, wide-eyed as one of them fits herself between Dean and him, introduces herself as Marley.
“Weird name, I know,” she says. “My mom had a thing for Dickens.”
Castiel nods, his eyes flickering to Dean. Dean spares a look for Castiel, nods and gives him a wink before turning back to the blond he’s brought over to talk to. Castiel swallows, turns back to the girl, and says something, he’s not quite sure what, about English literature. The girl’s eyes go wide.
“Are you a professor? We don’t get a lot of them in here, not after all that mess a few months back.”
Castiel shakes his head, remembers how most people don’t know that the “mess” that happened a few months ago, how the world went loopy for a time, was really the Apocalypse. “No,” he says. “I’m not. It’s just an interest of mine.”
The girl, Marley, nods, but she’s smiling again, and when she starts talking about Bronte and Austen, Castiel can’t help but sink comfortably into the conversation.
It’s near midnight by the time Castiel sees Dean stand up. He starts to stand as well, starts making excuses to Marley. But Dean interrupts him.
“Hey, stay for a while, Cas.”
Dean smiles, and Castiel drops his eyes and notices that Dean’s arm is around the other girl’s waist, his hand resting lightly on her hip. He feels bewildered, and a little hurt, and has no idea why.
“We’re gonna get out of here. Meet you later?”
It’s posed as a question, but Castiel knows it’s not. Not really. Dean flashes the girl Castiel’s been talking to a quick smile, but when his eyes fall back to Castiel he gives a little, almost imperceptible nod in her direction.
Castiel has the sudden urge to shake his head, step away, closer to Dean, and step into his personal space until Dean is backing up towards the door, leaving the blond behind.
A hand falls upon Castiel’s elbow, soft and tentative, and he looks to the side, sees a small smile upon Marley’s face.
“You up for a game of pool?” she asks.
“I don’t know how to play,” Castiel lies.
Dean laughs, and his hand slaps down upon Castiel’s shoulder. “Dude, you suck at pool, but you know how to play. Go on.”
His hand squeezes Castiel’s shoulder, and it’s at that moment, with Dean’s grip strong on his shoulder, and Marley’s palm resting softly against his arm, that Castiel realizes he’s fallen far enough into his humanity to want, to covet, to lust.
And he wants Dean.
“Cas?”
Before the Fall
Dean and Cas have angsty sex before Castiel falls. (Aka: Dean’s angry at Cas for giving everything up for him, Castiel’s angry at Dean for not letting him-trusting him?-to make his own choices.). Oddly, some exploration of Dean’s character happens during the porn. Lols, Idk if I’m ashamed of this one or not :oP
Castiel works him almost seamlessly, almost too easy, and Dean wonders if his mojo is at work or if they’ve become so used to this give and take, this mad act of fitting together, that there doesn’t have to be anything but Dean and Cas and want and now.
Dean sucks in a breath, lets it out slowly as Castiel sinks into him with slow, languid thrusts.
“This is what you’re giving up heaven for?” And Dean isn’t soft anymore. His voice is raw, ragged. He knows Castiel can feel his too-tight grip on his shoulder, but he can’t stop it. “Your mojo? Your Faith? God? Are you really ready to give up all of that for this?” And he grips Castiel tighter to him to prove that “this” is sweat and sex and steamy car windows.
“This is not everything, Dean. There’s more to humanity than this.”
And Dean isn’t sure how to take that. Sure, this isn’t everything. In fact, it’s probably means a whole bunch of nothing to millions of people. But really, it is everything. This act of coming together, of feeling, of raw, is what humans are all about.
“Wrong, Cas.”
But Castiel will not respond. He simply dips his head so Dean can no longer hold his stare and thrusts his hips forward.
“Trust me.” His voice is a whisper, and Dean shivers despite everything.
If Dean knows any kind of love, it’s tough love. He’s never known anything else. Maybe Mary loved him with a kind of love that didn’t twist and turn and warp at some point, but she was gone too soon. And maybe his father had loved him with a purer love at one point as well, but that would have been before Mary’s death. Sam’s love was intense, unbreakable, but even Dean realized it was warped in some way. Too intense, too unbreakable.
Cas’s love could have been different, Dean had thought it was. He’d never felt a need to sacrifice himself for the angel, to be other than what he was, and Castiel had been the same way. They were equals. They wanted each other, but did not need each other, and so they had chosen instead of succumbed. But here the angel was giving up the host of heaven for a cursed, human hunter. And so if this crazy, helpless, head-over-heels, selfish, selfless, mind-blowing, mixed up thing he’s had going on with Cas could be defined as anything, Dean thinks, maybe now it is tough love as well. He’s not sure, doesn’t really know if he wants to figure it out right now - if ever. Whether this path they’ve taken, this decision Castiel has made, is leading to redemption or the ultimate Fall, Dean isn’t sure, but it matters more than Dean wants it to.
Detective AU
A longer fic, where Dean is a detective and Castiel is part of a little-known agency. Castiel steps into Dean’s case, and they have to work together to catch the bad guys. Only, things are more complicated between Castiel’s agency and the people Dean’s been trying to catch than Dean’s first lead to believe. AU that plays with angels vs demons, and mostly season 4 mythology.
“Hey, Cas.” Castiel turned to him again, meeting his eyes and holding their stare this time. “Seriously, your secret’s safe with me. If this relates to the case,” he shrugged a shoulder, “maybe I should know about it.”
Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Dean mentally kicked himself. The last thing he wanted was to screw this up. It didn’t help that Castiel seemed even more on edge now. And that, well… that didn’t feel good to Dean at all, regardless of what he decided to tell Dean about the case or the agency.
“I can’t explain it, not really,” Castiel said. “But things have been… off lately. Zachariah has taken a greater role to play in a lot more than he normally would, more than what he’s qualified for. And Raphael, well… he’s one of the main forerunners in the organization but he’s been… reckless, careless in his bookings lately. Booking people, taking witnesses, with little or no evidence. And it slides. And Michael…” he trailed off, his eyes falling to the table.
“Michael?” Dean prompted.
Castiel’s eyes flickered away from the counter. “I haven’t seen Michael for months. And he’s the main boss at the moment. It was never run that way, it… it shouldn’t be run that way.”
Castiel was sitting tall in his seat, chin lifted slightly now. Dean nodded, let his eyes flicker over Castiel’s body before meeting his eyes again. The wary look was back, like he wasn’t sure what Dean’s reaction would be. If he’d stick to his promise of before, or turn around and call Bobby, rat out the agency so he could refuse to work with them now that he knew things were less than stable, even if they were strong. Pride, and a little bit of admiration, ran through Dean at the rigid determination holding Castiel’s body stiff, his jaw tight.
“So basically the guys have turned into huge dicks.”
Castiel blinked, and Dean was pleased to see the tension minutely drain out of Castiel’s body.
“To be honest, I’m not surprised,” Dean said, going for normalcy and picking up his fork again, gathering up more pie before he brought it to his mouth. “With great power comes great responsibility, that old line? A lot of people trip over it. You’d be surprised.”
Castiel’s brow creased, like the concept was foreign to him, as if the idea that you could betray that responsibility was a surprise to him. And, Dean suddenly realized, maybe it was.
“It shouldn’t.” Castiel’s voice was quiet, but his tone was hard, deep, sure, and Dean felt a shiver roll down his spine even as he found himself shrug.
“The world isn’t perfect,” he said. “Never was, never will be.”
There was silence for a moment before Castiel seemed to gather his thoughts. “You seem to speak from experience.”
Dean snorted. “Yeah, well… you live, you learn, right?” When he’d shoveled more pie into his mouth he looked up, froze mid-chew when he saw Castiel staring at him. Only this time, there was no blankness, no stern agent staring at him. There was genuine curiosity in his gaze, and something else that Dean couldn’t quite identify. But it made his pulse beat faster.
Dean cleared his throat. “Look, Cas. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, where to draw the line, but it sounds to me like this agency you work for? It needs to go work through some issues, revamp in their management, you know? And I’m not one for authority.”
Castiel looked down at his pie again, picked up his fork. But he still didn’t make a move to eat any of it. He looked worn down all of a sudden, tired, and Dean didn’t know why but he felt the sudden urge to reach out, put a hand on his shoulder, something, to offer some comfort, make something a little more right where it was so obviously wrong for the guy.
“Cas?” he asked suddenly, on impulse, thinking back to earlier in the day. Castiel raised his gaze to Dean. “Uriel.” Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly. “No offence, but the guy’s a dick. How’d he end up higher in the hierarchy over the last three days. I thought you outranked him.”
There was a pause before Castiel answered. “I did. But Uriel has a way with people, with witnesses, the like. He’s been working hard the last few days, gathering information.” His eyes fell for a moment, and Dean started to worry. “My superiors don’t think we are moving as fast as we should on this case.” Dean snapped his head back at that. “Uriel has been an asset to the agency. You work hard, you reap the rewards. Management sees you as slacking, moving too slow? There are no rewards.” Castiel shrugged. “It’s how it works, as you’re well aware.”
Dean bristled, angry again. “Slow?” Casitel’s brow furrowed at Dean’s tone. “They think we’re moving slow? Do they know this guy’s been out there for years? He’s not dumb. He’s smart, damn smart, and it’ll take more than brawn to get him. We can’t go charging in.”
Castiel nodded. “I know.”
Dean shook his head and concentrated on working on his pie again. “Your agency’s fucking weird, Cas. You’re working the case fine. If they want more answers, faster, well, they’ll have to get it some other way, because that’s not how this works. You know it, I know it, hell, the only people who don’t know it are them.”
First Fanfic
Lols, yeah. This was the first fanfic I worked on for Dean/Castiel. I never finished it :oP But… I kinda like some of the convos that happen in it (I might have to chop some pointless angst out if I ever decide to revamp it and/or use it for something haha). But yeah, the fic is probably more season 4, very very beginning of season 5 material. So yeah… just putting a snippet here.
“Dean.” His name is spoken softly, almost blankly but for the whisper it’s spoken in.
Dean looks up, expecting to meet Castiel’s exasperation head on. Instead, he sees the angel’s bowed head. Dean’s shocked for a moment, wondering what Castiel could possibly be moping about.
“You are not the only one that’s tired, Dean,” Cas says when he finally speaks. “You are not the only one who wishes for some kind of end. We will see this through. And you will survive.” He raises his head then, and Dean feels surprise make his stomach jump. “I promise you that.”
“And you always keep your promises, huh?”
Castiel inclines his head. “Yes.”
Dean heaves all the air out of him, almost turns away before he realizes that Castiel is staring off into the distance again. So instead he runs his hands through is hair, waits for a moment, then steps forward just a bit.
That seems to shock Castiel out of his morose thoughts, because he glances up a Dean quickly.
“And what happens after I survive, huh? I don’t see any rainbows and sunshine in my future after that.”
A corner of Castiel’s mouth twitches up into a small smile, but Dean is saddened by it.
“You are loved by God, Dean. You will survive, and you will be happy.”
Dean shakes his head, lowers his gaze. Doubt washes through him. “And what about Sammy? What about you? I bet Sam will find some chick, go have those 2.5 kids, and you’ll be Mr. Rogers next door. Home only occasionally though, travels on business a lot. You know, the boss upstairs has some jobs for him.”
Castiel doesn’t rise to the bait. “Sam will be happy, Dean.” He pauses, shakes his head. Dean breaks in.
“So what, I’m just supposed to trust that? You died for me once, Cas, so I’m supposed to believe you from now on?”
There’s a small flash of something in Castiel’s eyes then, and Dean goes rigid. He can recognize that look anywhere. After all, he’s seen it every day in the mirror since he’s been back from Hell.
“Cas-”
“No, Dean. You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to believe me. Just stay alive until the end, and one day you’ll know.” He takes a step back, and Dean’s eyes go wide. “That’s what matters, after all.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” Dean starts, reaching out for the angel to hold him still. “Cas.”
Castiel looks down to the hand gripping his forearm, then slowly up at Dean.
“Cas, listen, I’m a dick.” One of Castiel’s eyebrows flicks up and Dean rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry, okay? Just… sorry.” He ends quietly, awkwardly. Dean’s not good with apologies, and they both know it.
Castiel twists his head just slightly, and Dean can feel him shrug beneath his grip. “Well, we can’t all be perfect,” he says, and Dean is grateful once again to see that Castiel is developing a sense of humor.
"So,” Dean starts again, shrugging a bit as if to shrink back into his comfort zone. “What are you gonna do once this is all done?” He smiles a bit, laughs, catches Castiel’s gaze for a moment out of the corner of his eye. “You gonna find some angel chick and raise some nice winged cherubs?”
Castiel laughs softly, his head falling to look at the ground. “If it comforts you to think so, then yes. Though angels don’t have children, Dean.”
Dean would have found humor in Castiel’s words if he didn’t suddenly feel uneasy.
“Ok. So no angel chick, no pitter-patter of little winged feet. You gonna continue fighting for the big guy upstairs?”
Castiel lifts his head and looks out into the desert. “I will do as I am supposed to do,” he says.
“And what’s that?”
Castiel looks up at Dean's suddenly tense, angry tone.
“What’s what, Dean?”
“What is it you’re supposed to do?”
Castiel smiles slightly. “Fulfill my promises.”
Dean narrows his eyes. The angel is being difficult again, using half truths and riddles to dance around questions, and Dean was never good at riddles.
“I see,” is all he says, but he continues to study Castiel. Very softly, very slowly, Castiel looks out into the desert again, then shifts so he’s beside Dean, and the Impala shifts as Castiel leans against the bumper.
So yeah, that's it! I hope you enjoyed!
When you see this, post a little weensy excerpt from as many random works-in-progress as you can find lying around. Who knows? Maybe inspiration will burst forth and do something, um, inspiration-y.
I stole this WIP fic snippet meme from rock_my_town ages ago. So I've been meaning to do this meme for a while now. And since I need to get in the new writing material mode after my big bang, I decided to do it today :oP I'm just including my Dean/Castiel fics here. Because my old Tsubasa fics and Inuyasha fics? Yeah, I'll probs never, ever finish those lol.
Looking back on all my unfinished fic (there are loads :o/), I realize I must have a thing for writing falling!Castiel. Idk, I think it's fascinating, all the emotional, physical, whatever stuff that comes with Castiel falling. Both on Castiel's part AND Dean's part. So for the most part? You'll see that here in my unfinished fics.
A few of the fics I'm posting because rereading them has piqued my interest in them again for one reason or another. I'm planning on finishing some relatively soon, so... *crosses fingers*. And um, yeah... my deancasbigbang fic is included in here, as well (unless my other idea decides it wants to be written within in the next 1-2 weeks :oP) And yeah... I didn't include my ferret 'verse here because that should be finished and posted within the week.
And just a quick warning... some of these snippets involve smexy times. So if you don't want to read those, proceed with caution. (I think it's safe to say that it's not NC-17, though... more like hard PG-13 to R).
Okay, now time to stop babbling... onto the fic! ;o)
None of these are beta’d, and a lot are in their first draft stages. I apologize, and you’ve been warned ;o)
5.16 Coda
So this is one I’m hoping to finish soon. It explores Dean’s idea of faith, as well as Castiel’s idea of faith, and how each of their ideas interweave with the other. And yeah… it involves some pron… because um… that’s how it came out when I was writing it hehe.
“Cas.” Dean didn’t realize until he heard his voice how desperate he was. His voice is broken, a thready whisper. And Dean needs Cas just as much as he needs to give this to Cas, to give Cas something other than blank stares and absent fathers. Because as much as Castiel had always believed that God would answer his prayers, Dean had just begun to believe. And now, losing that new faith is just as painful, he thinks, than losing a faith he’s had forever. Because with him, trust and faith only develop after years, and even rarely then. And Dean had wanted so desperately, at the end, to believe. To believe that there was some way out. To believe that something out there cared a fuck about him, might help get them out of this, because he’s not seeing any solution and the world’s going to burn.
Dean just wants to believe.
And he’d once been able to rely on believing Castiel, back before he visited Heaven and remembered. Castiel had come to him, whispering prayers in Latin and Aramaic and some other language Dean presumed was Enochian whispered against his skin, fingers weaving blessings and sigils into spine and hip and tongue. And Castiel’s Faith had been enough religion for Dean.
Castiel had been enough.
And now Castiel is a blank before him.
“Cas. Hey.” He touches his lips to the corner of castiel’s mouth, simply presses them there and waits, because if he moves, he’s not sure if Castiel will break. He’s not sure if he’ll break, because he’s not sure if Castiel is with him or not. And losing one more goddamed thing is just going to break him. He’s had enough breaking recently. For once, for now, he just wants this, some safety found in the arms of a rebel angel who no longer has faith in God.
5.18 Coda
Tbh, I’m thinking of turning this into something different than what it was originally intended. Originally it was just going to be a linear fic after 5.18, inspired by Cas’s speech to Dean before he carved the sigils on his chest. Now? I’m thinking snippets of time, seeing how Dean and Castiel’s interactions changed and morphed over season 4, season 5, and possibly into my imaginary season 6. We’ll see. Also, the snippets incredibly tiny, because, well... each of the snippets I'd written were on the short side :oP
“It’s hard,” Castiel sighed. “I believed in you. In what you assured me was the right path. And just when I believed in it, needed to believe in it, you backed out.” His gaze finally turned to Dean. His jaw was clenched tight, his eyes narrowed, and Dean wanted to take back all the words that made the fallen angel look at him like that. “You don’t fail your family, Dean. But you failed me. Apologies can’t fix that.”
The Race
This is being written for a friend, who wanted to see Castiel joining a race. (And it’s so close to being done, it’s not even funny… I just need to sit down and commit :o/) So, it takes place after the apocalypse and Castiel is basically human and settling into his humanity. However, while Sam finds his post-apocalypse restlessness taken care of in continued hunting, Dean is tired, and Castiel wishes to make a bigger difference than he is… aka, he’s feeling his loss of power and wishes to be able to do good even in his human form. Thus, whilst on vacation at Bobby’s, Castiel finds Race for the Cure. This scene is where Dean takes him to the town’s municipal center to sign Castiel up (and ends up filling out the form for him).
“There,” Dean said, turning the completed form around and sliding it through the window. “Good to go.”
Castiel was silent beside him, still warm even though they stood slightly apart now.
“Fantastic,” the girl said, glancing over the papers. She hesitated. “But you need to fill out one as well if you’re going to run,” she said, looking at Dean now. She slid a second form out from behind the first, passing it through the window with the pen again.
“Uh…” Dean stared at the paper. “I wasn’t…”
Castiel reached forward, grabbed his packet of directions still on the counter. Dean risked a glance at him. Castiel was staring at the packet, opening the flap and looking into the envelop at the papers within. But Dean had come to be able to read Castiel as well as he could read Sam by now. Castiel’s shoulders were tense, his expression distracted, and Dean felt something in his heart tighten.
“Yeah,” he said, turning back to the window and picking up the pen.
The rustling of papers coming from Castiel stopped. “Dean?”
Dean grunted, keeping his eyes to the paper. “Give me a second, Cas.”
They remained silent as Dean filled out his form, handed it back to the girl and took his own packet of directions. On the ride back to Bobby's, Castiel held both of their packets tightly, and it wasn’t until they were parked in Bobby's driveway and Dean got out of the car, that Castiel startled him, moving slowly but confidently towards him as he crowded him against the Impala.
The kiss was small, just a press of lips against the corner of Dean’s mouth, but Dean smiled into it, turned his head towards Castiel as he pulled away.
“Thank you, Dean.”
Dean grunted, placing his hands on Castiel’s hips and pulling him back against him. “I’ll need something to keep me busy during this vacation.”
He felt Castiel smile against his cheek. “Yes, Dean.”
The Second Time Around
Okay, so I started this one ages ago. Probably back a little bit before Abandon All Hope? It’s basically a longer fic about Castiel returning to Earth after the Apocalypse is ended. Sam goes off on his own (the brothers need time to grow separately) and returns to school, while Dean continues to hunt. Castiel returns from heaven and joins Dean. His second fall into humanity begins.
“So.” Dean glanced over at Castiel, noticed with some slight annoyance that the angel was staring out the windshield with a pensive, curious expression. Like the endless blacktop stretching beneath them was the next big mystery of the universe they had to solve. “Now that you have permission to stay here with us humans, you have all your angel mojo back, right?”
The silence that stretched between them made Dean nervous. He gripped the wheel under his palms tightly, enjoying the familiar feel. Something familiar in this world turned batshit crazy.
Just when he thought he’d never get an answer, Castiel said, “I have my powers back, Dean. But I will begin to lose them again.”
Dean’s body went rigid. He kept his eyes glued to the road.
“What the hell for? I thought God approved of your choice? Why the hell would you be here otherwise?”
For the first time since appearing in the passenger seat, Dean heard Castiel shift as he turn to look at him.
“It was my choice, and my Father approved of it. But I live amongst humans now, Dean.” His voice was calm, sure, resigned, and Dean wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or extremely pissed off at it. “It is unavoidable that my powers will diminish. Despite their weaknesses, humans are powerful in their own rights. I have seen it in you, in your brother, in Bobby. You are strong, resilient, you do not break easily. The world is difficult to live in, and yet humans endure. You were made to endure, my Father made sure of it. For angels, Dean, the longer we are here, the weaker we become.”
“The more human you become,” Dean clarified.
“Yes.” Dean could see Castiel nod slowly out of the corner of his eye. “This world was made for humans, Dean. Not angels. We need the light of Heaven to… recharge, you might call it. To keep our powers intact and at full strength. Why do you think Zachariah and the other angels never stayed on earth very long? Without the bond of our brothers, and Heaven around us, we lose a little bit of the Grace that belongs in Heaven.”
Dean shook his head, rubbed his jaw roughly with his palm.
“Then why choose this, Cas?” His voice sounded rough, weary, and suddenly Dean wanted nothing more than to pull the Impala over and sleep for an eternity at the side of the road.
“Because it is my choice, Dean. Because it is what I wish.”
“Some wish.” Dean laughed, and the bitterness welling up inside him did nothing for the guilt and blame he already felt bubbling to the surface. “You finally get to choose your own path, make your own choices, and you get this crappy, post-apocalyptic dump. Sorry to tell you, Cas, but you aren’t exactly starting off on the right foot.”
“Dean.”
Castiel stopped there, and Dean refused to look at the angel.
“Free will is just that. It is Free Will. Humans are free to choose their path for better or for worse.” He paused, and Dean heard him shifting again, probably looking back out the windshield. “But I don’t think this will end for the worst. Not now, anyway. And it is my choice. There are worse places to end up than at your side, Dean Winchester.”
After the End
A fic that starts angsty, but ends on a happier, kind of bittersweet note. Written way back when, before Abandon All Hope. Sam dies during the face-off with Lucifer. After disappearing to heaven for a while, Castiel returns to Dean. Dean tries to get back on track.
“Dean, promise me.” And there was a finality about his words that had Dean stiffening where he crouched over his weapons, cleaning and preparing for the next day’s battle.
“Sammy, what are you planning?”
And Sam was suddenly smiling. Fucking smiling in the middle of the apocalypse.
“Nothing, Dean. I’m just saying, if things should get bad, if things should go down like they did in Cold Oak, just let things rest. I want them to rest.”
And Dean had felt his stomach drop. But he snapped the colt closed, put her down and reached for the last .45 he had to clean.
“I’m not making any promises, Sammy.”
But Sam’s shoulders had relaxed, and Dean hadn’t known until then how tense his brother was.
And so, when the battle had gone down the next day, and Lucifer was back in hell and Sam’s body was bleeding out in his arms, Dean had let him go. There were still demons on earth, still supernatural creatures to send back to Hell along with Lucifer, and so if Dean chose to tell himself that he didn’t go to the crossroads like he had in Cold Oak, it was only because he still had work to do on Earth. As pointless and lonely and painful it suddenly was, he had to remember he’d gone four years on Earth and forty in Hell without Sam before. He’d just have to try to top that now and live without him for longer on Earth.
So he pressed his foot down harder on the gas pedal, watched the speedometer rise to 90 mph, and let Led Zepplin bleed out the windows of the Impala.
***
The sun was starting to set by the time Dean found himself starting to space out.
“Come on, man. Just a few more hours. Then you can bunker down somewhere.” He refused to acknowledge the silence that answered.
It wasn’t until he found himself jerking the wheel to the right, jerking the car back onto the right side of the road that he even started to consider pulling over for the night. But he shook his head, looked at his watch, and told himself just another half-hour. Just another half-hour on the endless road instead of in an empty motel room.
He barely registered the shift in the air around him, the slight sound of rustling feathers, before he found himself glancing at the passenger seat.
“Finally decided to crawl your way back to the land of the living?”
It should have surprised him, really, that Castiel had suddenly appeared in the Impala’s passenger seat. But he’d grown too used to the angel’s presence during the constant battles and recuperating periods during the apocalypse to be surprised anymore. If anything, he’d grown too used to the angel’s presence during the end of the world, but he didn’t like to admit that even to himself.
“I had things to do. I apologize for taking so long, Dean.”
Dean glanced at the angel from the corner of his eye, as if reassuring himself the angel was sticking around for more than a few moments.
“So, you did what you had to do? Straightened up all the angel crap upstairs?” Dean hated the fact that he sounded more like a pissed off teenager rather than a nonchalant hunter who didn’t give a damn about what angels did after the end of the world came to a halt.
Castiel continued to stare out the front window.
“Yes. Everything is straightened out.”
Dean tried not to shift behind the wheel. “And?”
Castiel finally broke his gaze away from the road before them. “And what?”
Dean refused to look at the angel. “And are you going back up to the barracks? Going back up to St. Peter’s pearly white gates?”
There was an odd sound from the seat next to him, almost like a muffled laugh, but when Dean turned to look at him, Castiel’s face was as humorless as it was before he’d been blown to bits by Raphael and disobeyed that first time.
“No, Dean. I’ve been given permission to remain on earth for as long as I’d like.”
Dean jerked his head back. “Permission?”
There was a pause. Then, “My Father has decided to grant my wish of acting as liaison between Heaven and Earth. I will remain on Earth for a time.”
Dean shifted again behind the wheel, ran a hand over his jaw.
“Finally giving it to the man, then? Good for you, Cas.”
Silence stretched between them now, but it was oddly comfortable. Things were usually quiet between the two of them. Battle and stealth missions usually required silent communication, and they had had their fair share of battle and stealth during the apocalypse. Where circumstances had at first demanded it, life had somehow progressed to comfortable silence, settling into an almost comfortable norm for the two of them, despite the world falling apart around them.
Humanity
This… is a more angstier look at Castiel’s fall into humanity. He loses his mojo, and this fic focuses largely on how Castiel starts fitting into his body and his emotions from his perspective (really, close third person). So basically he falls into a comfortable rhythm with Dean and Sam until he starts acknowledging his feelings (amongst other feelings, the ones he harbors for Dean), and then eventually his desire to be able to stand on his own (which leads him to eventually slip away from the brothers and sees him traveling to a hunt solo, where he runs into trouble and then has to claim independence from a pissed off Dean when he returns). A “darker” fic, that deals with the nitty-gritty aspects of Castiel’s fall into humanity (without him falling into drug and alcohol use).
This is the scene where he realizes he has feelings for Dean…
It happens on the night when Dean excuses himself from the bar for a few moments, comes back with two women and introduces them to Castiel. Castiel stares, wide-eyed as one of them fits herself between Dean and him, introduces herself as Marley.
“Weird name, I know,” she says. “My mom had a thing for Dickens.”
Castiel nods, his eyes flickering to Dean. Dean spares a look for Castiel, nods and gives him a wink before turning back to the blond he’s brought over to talk to. Castiel swallows, turns back to the girl, and says something, he’s not quite sure what, about English literature. The girl’s eyes go wide.
“Are you a professor? We don’t get a lot of them in here, not after all that mess a few months back.”
Castiel shakes his head, remembers how most people don’t know that the “mess” that happened a few months ago, how the world went loopy for a time, was really the Apocalypse. “No,” he says. “I’m not. It’s just an interest of mine.”
The girl, Marley, nods, but she’s smiling again, and when she starts talking about Bronte and Austen, Castiel can’t help but sink comfortably into the conversation.
It’s near midnight by the time Castiel sees Dean stand up. He starts to stand as well, starts making excuses to Marley. But Dean interrupts him.
“Hey, stay for a while, Cas.”
Dean smiles, and Castiel drops his eyes and notices that Dean’s arm is around the other girl’s waist, his hand resting lightly on her hip. He feels bewildered, and a little hurt, and has no idea why.
“We’re gonna get out of here. Meet you later?”
It’s posed as a question, but Castiel knows it’s not. Not really. Dean flashes the girl Castiel’s been talking to a quick smile, but when his eyes fall back to Castiel he gives a little, almost imperceptible nod in her direction.
Castiel has the sudden urge to shake his head, step away, closer to Dean, and step into his personal space until Dean is backing up towards the door, leaving the blond behind.
A hand falls upon Castiel’s elbow, soft and tentative, and he looks to the side, sees a small smile upon Marley’s face.
“You up for a game of pool?” she asks.
“I don’t know how to play,” Castiel lies.
Dean laughs, and his hand slaps down upon Castiel’s shoulder. “Dude, you suck at pool, but you know how to play. Go on.”
His hand squeezes Castiel’s shoulder, and it’s at that moment, with Dean’s grip strong on his shoulder, and Marley’s palm resting softly against his arm, that Castiel realizes he’s fallen far enough into his humanity to want, to covet, to lust.
And he wants Dean.
“Cas?”
Before the Fall
Dean and Cas have angsty sex before Castiel falls. (Aka: Dean’s angry at Cas for giving everything up for him, Castiel’s angry at Dean for not letting him-trusting him?-to make his own choices.). Oddly, some exploration of Dean’s character happens during the porn. Lols, Idk if I’m ashamed of this one or not :oP
Castiel works him almost seamlessly, almost too easy, and Dean wonders if his mojo is at work or if they’ve become so used to this give and take, this mad act of fitting together, that there doesn’t have to be anything but Dean and Cas and want and now.
Dean sucks in a breath, lets it out slowly as Castiel sinks into him with slow, languid thrusts.
“This is what you’re giving up heaven for?” And Dean isn’t soft anymore. His voice is raw, ragged. He knows Castiel can feel his too-tight grip on his shoulder, but he can’t stop it. “Your mojo? Your Faith? God? Are you really ready to give up all of that for this?” And he grips Castiel tighter to him to prove that “this” is sweat and sex and steamy car windows.
“This is not everything, Dean. There’s more to humanity than this.”
And Dean isn’t sure how to take that. Sure, this isn’t everything. In fact, it’s probably means a whole bunch of nothing to millions of people. But really, it is everything. This act of coming together, of feeling, of raw, is what humans are all about.
“Wrong, Cas.”
But Castiel will not respond. He simply dips his head so Dean can no longer hold his stare and thrusts his hips forward.
“Trust me.” His voice is a whisper, and Dean shivers despite everything.
If Dean knows any kind of love, it’s tough love. He’s never known anything else. Maybe Mary loved him with a kind of love that didn’t twist and turn and warp at some point, but she was gone too soon. And maybe his father had loved him with a purer love at one point as well, but that would have been before Mary’s death. Sam’s love was intense, unbreakable, but even Dean realized it was warped in some way. Too intense, too unbreakable.
Cas’s love could have been different, Dean had thought it was. He’d never felt a need to sacrifice himself for the angel, to be other than what he was, and Castiel had been the same way. They were equals. They wanted each other, but did not need each other, and so they had chosen instead of succumbed. But here the angel was giving up the host of heaven for a cursed, human hunter. And so if this crazy, helpless, head-over-heels, selfish, selfless, mind-blowing, mixed up thing he’s had going on with Cas could be defined as anything, Dean thinks, maybe now it is tough love as well. He’s not sure, doesn’t really know if he wants to figure it out right now - if ever. Whether this path they’ve taken, this decision Castiel has made, is leading to redemption or the ultimate Fall, Dean isn’t sure, but it matters more than Dean wants it to.
Detective AU
A longer fic, where Dean is a detective and Castiel is part of a little-known agency. Castiel steps into Dean’s case, and they have to work together to catch the bad guys. Only, things are more complicated between Castiel’s agency and the people Dean’s been trying to catch than Dean’s first lead to believe. AU that plays with angels vs demons, and mostly season 4 mythology.
“Hey, Cas.” Castiel turned to him again, meeting his eyes and holding their stare this time. “Seriously, your secret’s safe with me. If this relates to the case,” he shrugged a shoulder, “maybe I should know about it.”
Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Dean mentally kicked himself. The last thing he wanted was to screw this up. It didn’t help that Castiel seemed even more on edge now. And that, well… that didn’t feel good to Dean at all, regardless of what he decided to tell Dean about the case or the agency.
“I can’t explain it, not really,” Castiel said. “But things have been… off lately. Zachariah has taken a greater role to play in a lot more than he normally would, more than what he’s qualified for. And Raphael, well… he’s one of the main forerunners in the organization but he’s been… reckless, careless in his bookings lately. Booking people, taking witnesses, with little or no evidence. And it slides. And Michael…” he trailed off, his eyes falling to the table.
“Michael?” Dean prompted.
Castiel’s eyes flickered away from the counter. “I haven’t seen Michael for months. And he’s the main boss at the moment. It was never run that way, it… it shouldn’t be run that way.”
Castiel was sitting tall in his seat, chin lifted slightly now. Dean nodded, let his eyes flicker over Castiel’s body before meeting his eyes again. The wary look was back, like he wasn’t sure what Dean’s reaction would be. If he’d stick to his promise of before, or turn around and call Bobby, rat out the agency so he could refuse to work with them now that he knew things were less than stable, even if they were strong. Pride, and a little bit of admiration, ran through Dean at the rigid determination holding Castiel’s body stiff, his jaw tight.
“So basically the guys have turned into huge dicks.”
Castiel blinked, and Dean was pleased to see the tension minutely drain out of Castiel’s body.
“To be honest, I’m not surprised,” Dean said, going for normalcy and picking up his fork again, gathering up more pie before he brought it to his mouth. “With great power comes great responsibility, that old line? A lot of people trip over it. You’d be surprised.”
Castiel’s brow creased, like the concept was foreign to him, as if the idea that you could betray that responsibility was a surprise to him. And, Dean suddenly realized, maybe it was.
“It shouldn’t.” Castiel’s voice was quiet, but his tone was hard, deep, sure, and Dean felt a shiver roll down his spine even as he found himself shrug.
“The world isn’t perfect,” he said. “Never was, never will be.”
There was silence for a moment before Castiel seemed to gather his thoughts. “You seem to speak from experience.”
Dean snorted. “Yeah, well… you live, you learn, right?” When he’d shoveled more pie into his mouth he looked up, froze mid-chew when he saw Castiel staring at him. Only this time, there was no blankness, no stern agent staring at him. There was genuine curiosity in his gaze, and something else that Dean couldn’t quite identify. But it made his pulse beat faster.
Dean cleared his throat. “Look, Cas. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, where to draw the line, but it sounds to me like this agency you work for? It needs to go work through some issues, revamp in their management, you know? And I’m not one for authority.”
Castiel looked down at his pie again, picked up his fork. But he still didn’t make a move to eat any of it. He looked worn down all of a sudden, tired, and Dean didn’t know why but he felt the sudden urge to reach out, put a hand on his shoulder, something, to offer some comfort, make something a little more right where it was so obviously wrong for the guy.
“Cas?” he asked suddenly, on impulse, thinking back to earlier in the day. Castiel raised his gaze to Dean. “Uriel.” Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly. “No offence, but the guy’s a dick. How’d he end up higher in the hierarchy over the last three days. I thought you outranked him.”
There was a pause before Castiel answered. “I did. But Uriel has a way with people, with witnesses, the like. He’s been working hard the last few days, gathering information.” His eyes fell for a moment, and Dean started to worry. “My superiors don’t think we are moving as fast as we should on this case.” Dean snapped his head back at that. “Uriel has been an asset to the agency. You work hard, you reap the rewards. Management sees you as slacking, moving too slow? There are no rewards.” Castiel shrugged. “It’s how it works, as you’re well aware.”
Dean bristled, angry again. “Slow?” Casitel’s brow furrowed at Dean’s tone. “They think we’re moving slow? Do they know this guy’s been out there for years? He’s not dumb. He’s smart, damn smart, and it’ll take more than brawn to get him. We can’t go charging in.”
Castiel nodded. “I know.”
Dean shook his head and concentrated on working on his pie again. “Your agency’s fucking weird, Cas. You’re working the case fine. If they want more answers, faster, well, they’ll have to get it some other way, because that’s not how this works. You know it, I know it, hell, the only people who don’t know it are them.”
First Fanfic
Lols, yeah. This was the first fanfic I worked on for Dean/Castiel. I never finished it :oP But… I kinda like some of the convos that happen in it (I might have to chop some pointless angst out if I ever decide to revamp it and/or use it for something haha). But yeah, the fic is probably more season 4, very very beginning of season 5 material. So yeah… just putting a snippet here.
“Dean.” His name is spoken softly, almost blankly but for the whisper it’s spoken in.
Dean looks up, expecting to meet Castiel’s exasperation head on. Instead, he sees the angel’s bowed head. Dean’s shocked for a moment, wondering what Castiel could possibly be moping about.
“You are not the only one that’s tired, Dean,” Cas says when he finally speaks. “You are not the only one who wishes for some kind of end. We will see this through. And you will survive.” He raises his head then, and Dean feels surprise make his stomach jump. “I promise you that.”
“And you always keep your promises, huh?”
Castiel inclines his head. “Yes.”
Dean heaves all the air out of him, almost turns away before he realizes that Castiel is staring off into the distance again. So instead he runs his hands through is hair, waits for a moment, then steps forward just a bit.
That seems to shock Castiel out of his morose thoughts, because he glances up a Dean quickly.
“And what happens after I survive, huh? I don’t see any rainbows and sunshine in my future after that.”
A corner of Castiel’s mouth twitches up into a small smile, but Dean is saddened by it.
“You are loved by God, Dean. You will survive, and you will be happy.”
Dean shakes his head, lowers his gaze. Doubt washes through him. “And what about Sammy? What about you? I bet Sam will find some chick, go have those 2.5 kids, and you’ll be Mr. Rogers next door. Home only occasionally though, travels on business a lot. You know, the boss upstairs has some jobs for him.”
Castiel doesn’t rise to the bait. “Sam will be happy, Dean.” He pauses, shakes his head. Dean breaks in.
“So what, I’m just supposed to trust that? You died for me once, Cas, so I’m supposed to believe you from now on?”
There’s a small flash of something in Castiel’s eyes then, and Dean goes rigid. He can recognize that look anywhere. After all, he’s seen it every day in the mirror since he’s been back from Hell.
“Cas-”
“No, Dean. You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to believe me. Just stay alive until the end, and one day you’ll know.” He takes a step back, and Dean’s eyes go wide. “That’s what matters, after all.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” Dean starts, reaching out for the angel to hold him still. “Cas.”
Castiel looks down to the hand gripping his forearm, then slowly up at Dean.
“Cas, listen, I’m a dick.” One of Castiel’s eyebrows flicks up and Dean rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry, okay? Just… sorry.” He ends quietly, awkwardly. Dean’s not good with apologies, and they both know it.
Castiel twists his head just slightly, and Dean can feel him shrug beneath his grip. “Well, we can’t all be perfect,” he says, and Dean is grateful once again to see that Castiel is developing a sense of humor.
"So,” Dean starts again, shrugging a bit as if to shrink back into his comfort zone. “What are you gonna do once this is all done?” He smiles a bit, laughs, catches Castiel’s gaze for a moment out of the corner of his eye. “You gonna find some angel chick and raise some nice winged cherubs?”
Castiel laughs softly, his head falling to look at the ground. “If it comforts you to think so, then yes. Though angels don’t have children, Dean.”
Dean would have found humor in Castiel’s words if he didn’t suddenly feel uneasy.
“Ok. So no angel chick, no pitter-patter of little winged feet. You gonna continue fighting for the big guy upstairs?”
Castiel lifts his head and looks out into the desert. “I will do as I am supposed to do,” he says.
“And what’s that?”
Castiel looks up at Dean's suddenly tense, angry tone.
“What’s what, Dean?”
“What is it you’re supposed to do?”
Castiel smiles slightly. “Fulfill my promises.”
Dean narrows his eyes. The angel is being difficult again, using half truths and riddles to dance around questions, and Dean was never good at riddles.
“I see,” is all he says, but he continues to study Castiel. Very softly, very slowly, Castiel looks out into the desert again, then shifts so he’s beside Dean, and the Impala shifts as Castiel leans against the bumper.
So yeah, that's it! I hope you enjoyed!