irritated, irritated, irritated
So when did life start getting so depressing?
Since I started living with roommates. Surprise. Wow. I've never felt as shitty about myself as I do now. I thick-skulled and thick-skinned, but right this moment I be pretty fine just dying. I'm tired of being the annoying friend. The stupid one. The black one (and fuck, I never wanna bring this shit up because I don't wanna bring down everyone's mood. but I can only take say, maybe 20 degrading black-person jokes a day before they're just not THAT amusing to me anymore.). The one that always manages to piss people off just by being me. And it sucks, knowing that you annoy people just by existing, by being yourself, because what can you do about that?
And it's like even when I try to change the way I say or do things, I still end up doing something wrong. Seriously. So I'm in the car, and everyone's talking about some shit about Twilight being basically the most baddass shit ever, and I mention that me and Lara are basically like 'fuck that.' And some how I manage to first piss off Liz, because apparently stating my HONEST reason for not wanting to read the book (I think that when I read it, I'm gonna think it sucks, and then because I talk a lot I'll probably trash it and piss people off, which WHADDDDDHYYA KNOW FOLKS IVE BEEN TRYING TO AVOID LATELY!) is grounds for being pissed off based on the way I said it. Then it becomes the 'don't trash it when you haven't read it game,' and it's just like 'dude! I just said I didn't wanna read it because I think it's stupid (And I started reading it by the way, and YES, it's RETARDED. SORRY.)' And of course, I emerge out of it as the bastard who started it, not the rest of the group who jump on me like a bunch of rabid wolves. Next time, I'll just keep my mouth shut right? yeah, sure.
Fuck, I know that's just one example, but it's one of MANY, and how can I even bring it up when even bringing it up will probably piss off everyone because I'll somehow manage to say it condescendingly and THAT'S what's the MOST IRRITATING, because ANYTIME i've brought up my problems it basically is reasoned out to 'well, it's your fault, so oh well. Also, did I mention you're an annoying bitch. Oh, haha, an annoying BLACK bitch. shut up and go pick some cotton, nobody cares.'
And it sucks, because sorry, the annoying one doesn't get the sympathy. Fucking ever.
Yeah, shit, goodnight, I'm not making any sense. Also, I'm wrong, as you will surely attest for many reasons. And you're probably pissed. whoever's reading this. Fuck. Goodnight.
Since I started living with roommates. Surprise. Wow. I've never felt as shitty about myself as I do now. I thick-skulled and thick-skinned, but right this moment I be pretty fine just dying. I'm tired of being the annoying friend. The stupid one. The black one (and fuck, I never wanna bring this shit up because I don't wanna bring down everyone's mood. but I can only take say, maybe 20 degrading black-person jokes a day before they're just not THAT amusing to me anymore.). The one that always manages to piss people off just by being me. And it sucks, knowing that you annoy people just by existing, by being yourself, because what can you do about that?
And it's like even when I try to change the way I say or do things, I still end up doing something wrong. Seriously. So I'm in the car, and everyone's talking about some shit about Twilight being basically the most baddass shit ever, and I mention that me and Lara are basically like 'fuck that.' And some how I manage to first piss off Liz, because apparently stating my HONEST reason for not wanting to read the book (I think that when I read it, I'm gonna think it sucks, and then because I talk a lot I'll probably trash it and piss people off, which WHADDDDDHYYA KNOW FOLKS IVE BEEN TRYING TO AVOID LATELY!) is grounds for being pissed off based on the way I said it. Then it becomes the 'don't trash it when you haven't read it game,' and it's just like 'dude! I just said I didn't wanna read it because I think it's stupid (And I started reading it by the way, and YES, it's RETARDED. SORRY.)' And of course, I emerge out of it as the bastard who started it, not the rest of the group who jump on me like a bunch of rabid wolves. Next time, I'll just keep my mouth shut right? yeah, sure.
Fuck, I know that's just one example, but it's one of MANY, and how can I even bring it up when even bringing it up will probably piss off everyone because I'll somehow manage to say it condescendingly and THAT'S what's the MOST IRRITATING, because ANYTIME i've brought up my problems it basically is reasoned out to 'well, it's your fault, so oh well. Also, did I mention you're an annoying bitch. Oh, haha, an annoying BLACK bitch. shut up and go pick some cotton, nobody cares.'
And it sucks, because sorry, the annoying one doesn't get the sympathy. Fucking ever.
Yeah, shit, goodnight, I'm not making any sense. Also, I'm wrong, as you will surely attest for many reasons. And you're probably pissed. whoever's reading this. Fuck. Goodnight.