Directionality and Drollness
And now for a collection of facts and quotes which are missing a fair bit of context and may or may not be coherent. Sounds funny, though.
Collin thought that perhaps Chilton M’Dorf had not noticed Lurid other than the times he spoke directly to him. It seemed quite plausible, as he was just then very busy not noticing Collin at all, in favour of a small object he had found on the ground. He picked it up gingerly, but, upon realising that it wasn’t ginger, he stopped and picked it up rockily instead, then returned his attention to the rest of the slightly purpled world. ‘What say we go visit Marquess Squalor? He’s a smart chap.’
‘Marquess Squalor?’
‘Aye, aye, aye. He’s the nearest about. If we were nearer the Wet boarder, we’d be closer to Marquess Neither, but we’re smack in the middle of Squalor, so we’re quite a while away from all but Articlave Tweedsmuir.’
‘What do you mean squalor? And what’s wet? And neither of what? And what is an Articlave Tweedsmuir? And… and… and… stop that!’ Collin’s mind was reeling so much already, and he did wish Chilton would stop making it worse by rolling his eyes sporadically around, each on a totally different axis-as we can tell by his verbalising of said wish, unless we are rather thick, which I certainly hope we aren’t.
‘You… don’t understand?’ Chilton was thoroughly confused, and his brow furrowed heavily above his still rolling eyes.
‘No, I’ve never been here before.’
‘What? Never been to Squalor?’ His eyes had slowed down a little.
‘No, or any of this place. I’m from… what did that guy call it… the Plainworld or something.’
‘What?’ Chilton M’Dorf’s eyes stopped rolling entirely at this point and violently fixed on Collin (well, as violently as eyes can fix on someone without having their owner actually forcibly impressing them upon the subject or growing appendages themselves and pummelling the subject). Evidently he hadn’t been paying attention to Lurid. ‘That explains a bit.’
‘Not the things I’d like to know,’ Collin lamented.
‘Oh don’t whinge,’ Chilton said, returning to his jaunty saunter, ‘I can do that. Squalor is where we are.’
‘I thought it was the Neitherworld.’
‘ [1]Squalor is in the Neitherworld. Neither is in the Neitherworld, too-the capital, no less-and governed by Marquess Neither, Blaxcell. Articlave Tweedsmuir, however, is the Marquess of Squalor, and the chap we’re off to see. As for Wet, it’s a direction. Just like Erudite, Frangible, and Sabulous Remunerative. Wet goes at the top of maps, Erudite on the left, Frangible on the right, and Sabulous Remunerative at the bottom. Very easy. As I was saying before, if we were further Wet, we’d be closer to Marquess Neither. Although, now that I think about it, while we would be closer to him than we are now, we wouldn’t be closer to him than we are to Tweedsmuir, because we have to head Wet to get to Tweedsmuir, too.
‘Anyway, being in Squalor means that we’ve got Neither to the Wet, Chaply and Dirking to the Erudite, and Umquhile along the whole Frangible boarder. If we go Sabulous Remunerative, we’ll reach the sea. But currently we’re heading for the edge of the Æyme woods a bit further Wet, where we’ll find the capital of Squalor, called Cedric. Which is, of course, where we are most likely to find the Marquess.'
[1] Beware, readers. Collin has just asked a question that not only calls for a detailed explanation, but a detailed explanation from Chilton M’Dorf. This quote is overloaded with foreign information and overly-informative rambling. Begin this quote at your own risk.
------------------------------
The points of the compass in the Neitherworld actually make a certain kind of sense (know as nonsense) if you know enough about the Neitherworld and have a dictionary on hand; go get one now. The capital of the Neitherworld, Neither (as you may have picked up from the quote), is the origin of all of them. To start, the whole Northern--or Wet--end of Neither is now quite sunken under the bay. The Western--or Erudite--side is the cultural and educational centre of the city. The East--or Frangible--side is the oldest, and the buildings are quite antiquated. The South--or Sabulous Remunerative--side is the industrial centre.
I'll explain Sabulous Remunerative, but I'm sure you can easily figure out the others yourself. Sabulous means gritty or sandy, and to renumerate is to recompense for services (to pay for work), thus describing the industrial end.
For extra information, I shall describe the places that Chilton mentions.
Squalor is the region that Collin and Chilton are in at this point in the story (The Macabre Hospital). It's a rather pleasant region, known for its foliage, namely Æyme woods, which are totally black and white. Its capital is Cedric, and its Marquess (governer/ess) is currently Articlave Tweedsmuir, a man with OCD who follows a teachin in the Neitherworld which strives to achieve a higher state of existence through cleanliness.
On second thoughts, I shall only explain that. I can't be bothered saying anything more about Dirking, Chaply, or Umquhile that Mr M'Dorf hasn't already said.
I think there was more to say, but I've forgotten it, and can't be bothered remembering.
Collin thought that perhaps Chilton M’Dorf had not noticed Lurid other than the times he spoke directly to him. It seemed quite plausible, as he was just then very busy not noticing Collin at all, in favour of a small object he had found on the ground. He picked it up gingerly, but, upon realising that it wasn’t ginger, he stopped and picked it up rockily instead, then returned his attention to the rest of the slightly purpled world. ‘What say we go visit Marquess Squalor? He’s a smart chap.’
‘Marquess Squalor?’
‘Aye, aye, aye. He’s the nearest about. If we were nearer the Wet boarder, we’d be closer to Marquess Neither, but we’re smack in the middle of Squalor, so we’re quite a while away from all but Articlave Tweedsmuir.’
‘What do you mean squalor? And what’s wet? And neither of what? And what is an Articlave Tweedsmuir? And… and… and… stop that!’ Collin’s mind was reeling so much already, and he did wish Chilton would stop making it worse by rolling his eyes sporadically around, each on a totally different axis-as we can tell by his verbalising of said wish, unless we are rather thick, which I certainly hope we aren’t.
‘You… don’t understand?’ Chilton was thoroughly confused, and his brow furrowed heavily above his still rolling eyes.
‘No, I’ve never been here before.’
‘What? Never been to Squalor?’ His eyes had slowed down a little.
‘No, or any of this place. I’m from… what did that guy call it… the Plainworld or something.’
‘What?’ Chilton M’Dorf’s eyes stopped rolling entirely at this point and violently fixed on Collin (well, as violently as eyes can fix on someone without having their owner actually forcibly impressing them upon the subject or growing appendages themselves and pummelling the subject). Evidently he hadn’t been paying attention to Lurid. ‘That explains a bit.’
‘Not the things I’d like to know,’ Collin lamented.
‘Oh don’t whinge,’ Chilton said, returning to his jaunty saunter, ‘I can do that. Squalor is where we are.’
‘I thought it was the Neitherworld.’
‘ [1]Squalor is in the Neitherworld. Neither is in the Neitherworld, too-the capital, no less-and governed by Marquess Neither, Blaxcell. Articlave Tweedsmuir, however, is the Marquess of Squalor, and the chap we’re off to see. As for Wet, it’s a direction. Just like Erudite, Frangible, and Sabulous Remunerative. Wet goes at the top of maps, Erudite on the left, Frangible on the right, and Sabulous Remunerative at the bottom. Very easy. As I was saying before, if we were further Wet, we’d be closer to Marquess Neither. Although, now that I think about it, while we would be closer to him than we are now, we wouldn’t be closer to him than we are to Tweedsmuir, because we have to head Wet to get to Tweedsmuir, too.
‘Anyway, being in Squalor means that we’ve got Neither to the Wet, Chaply and Dirking to the Erudite, and Umquhile along the whole Frangible boarder. If we go Sabulous Remunerative, we’ll reach the sea. But currently we’re heading for the edge of the Æyme woods a bit further Wet, where we’ll find the capital of Squalor, called Cedric. Which is, of course, where we are most likely to find the Marquess.'
[1] Beware, readers. Collin has just asked a question that not only calls for a detailed explanation, but a detailed explanation from Chilton M’Dorf. This quote is overloaded with foreign information and overly-informative rambling. Begin this quote at your own risk.
------------------------------
The points of the compass in the Neitherworld actually make a certain kind of sense (know as nonsense) if you know enough about the Neitherworld and have a dictionary on hand; go get one now. The capital of the Neitherworld, Neither (as you may have picked up from the quote), is the origin of all of them. To start, the whole Northern--or Wet--end of Neither is now quite sunken under the bay. The Western--or Erudite--side is the cultural and educational centre of the city. The East--or Frangible--side is the oldest, and the buildings are quite antiquated. The South--or Sabulous Remunerative--side is the industrial centre.
I'll explain Sabulous Remunerative, but I'm sure you can easily figure out the others yourself. Sabulous means gritty or sandy, and to renumerate is to recompense for services (to pay for work), thus describing the industrial end.
For extra information, I shall describe the places that Chilton mentions.
Squalor is the region that Collin and Chilton are in at this point in the story (The Macabre Hospital). It's a rather pleasant region, known for its foliage, namely Æyme woods, which are totally black and white. Its capital is Cedric, and its Marquess (governer/ess) is currently Articlave Tweedsmuir, a man with OCD who follows a teachin in the Neitherworld which strives to achieve a higher state of existence through cleanliness.
On second thoughts, I shall only explain that. I can't be bothered saying anything more about Dirking, Chaply, or Umquhile that Mr M'Dorf hasn't already said.
I think there was more to say, but I've forgotten it, and can't be bothered remembering.