RP: Hope You're Ready to Listen

[neve_stadheim]

Date: June 10th, 2011
Characters: Neve Stadheim, Jake Abernathy.
Location: A Park In Fort Worth
Status: Semi-Private
Summary: Sometimes you just need to vent.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[neve_stadheim]

The question was so simple, and yet not. Neve knew logically what they were trying to do of course - take her girls from her. But the 'whys' that's what made it confusing, although her mother in law had pegged her job as the reason, Neve didn't believe that was the only reason. She had been an EMT a lot longer than she had been a widow, working this same job for years before Zach passed away. Neve had been running through all the possibilities, but each one seemed as the ridiculous as the last.

"They're trying to take my girls from me." Neve couldn't hide the edge in her voice as she spoke, not surprised when Jake actually listened to her last statement and pulled her into a firm hug. "And their excuse.....I'm an absentee mother. Me? Absent? Yes, three days out of the week I'm working, but the girls can always get a hold of me. Also it's not like I leave them with strangers, and why now?" She mumbled this into his shoulder, relaxing into the hug. She was used to being the person doing the comforting, not the one needing to be comforted, and there were very few people she would be this vulnerable with; actually she was pretty sure the list consisted of three, maybe four people total.

[jake_abernathy]

Jake's sympathy was quick and absolute--it had always been one of his deepest fears that he was going to lose custody of his daughter. First when he moved back here, when Mona left, and then later, after the accident--his in-laws had had plenty of opportunity to try. He was just lucky they didn't want to. "Shit," he said succinctly, and from a man who didn't curse very much most of the time, it was a lot.

He tucked her head into his shoulder, holding her firmly. He wished he knew what would protect her from this. That he could shield her from this awful thing that her in-laws were trying to do. "You are not an absentee parent," he said firmly. "You are always there for your girls when they need you. Always." He'd never not known her to be 110% there for her girls. "And it's not like your job has changed." She'd been doing it for years, it was through it he'd first met her years ago.

[neve_stadheim]

Somehow the fact that the only word Jake could manage was a curse word just made the whole situation feel that much worse. Neve knew Jake wasn't the sort of guy who cuss often, but than again this was the kind of information that would make a person swear. "Shit is right." She muttered, still feeling like she was at a loss. Completely blindsided didn't even cover how she was feeling. Top it off with feeling shitty for not telling anyone until just now. Neve knew she should say something to Ezra and Kyle, hell, they lived in her house and were pretty much her go-to guys when it came to watching the girls, but their lives were just getting back to normal, so she couldn't bring herself to throw another curve ball at them so soon after their own personal drama.

She sighed softly, knowing this was probably the closest she would come to actually breaking down. Neve shrugged when Jake reiterated what she already knew, despite what her in-laws thought. "You know that, and I know that. But who's to say a judge won't think otherwise." her words were honest, although she thought hell would have to freeze over before that actually happened - but she couldn't allow herself to believe it wouldn't happen. "It's not like the job helps with raising three girls as a single mother either, though." She loved her job, and had been deadly serious when she told Ruth on Monday that she wasn't quitting it, Neve also realized though that it wasn't an ideal job for a single parent to have.

[jake_abernathy]

Jake felt terrible for Neve. He stroked back her hair softly, keeping her hugged close to him. He wanted to help make it better, but it was everyone's worst fear. "Judges prefer children to be with their mothers." And hadn't that given him some sleepless nights. Only the knowledge that his ex-wife was a recovering drug addict helped with that one. "A judge would listen to you. And everyone else who would come forward to speak for you--with me first in line." Jake might not be the best, now that he was in a chair, but he had a long history of good service as well, similar to hers in its way. No one in their right mind would take her kids from her.

"It's not like you don't have a support system, Neve. You have your brother and his person, and your sister in law," he recalled she helped out sometimes, "as well as me and everyone else. And it's not like you've ever not been there when needed. You've never neglected them, and they have no proof of it either."

Why the hell they would try, and now? It had been years! "You even have my parents, if push comes to shove. You know they'd help out." Especially since Star and Shelby were friends. Between the two of them, really, they had quite a network of people--Mona's parents helped him out, and would likely extend that same hand to Star's friends. "And your long standing good record at your job."

It wasn't like nurses and doctors and other high risk professions couldn't be single parents. There were thousands of people like that.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve allowed herself to be comforted by Jake. She wouldn't admit it aloud, but it was nice to let someone else be strong for her for a moment. "Not always." Neve countered when Jake made his comment about judges. "You'd probably have to fight Ezra to be first in line, but thank you." Not that she had any plans of telling Ezra about this anytime soon. Her baby brother would flip, and the last thing she needed was to have to bail him out of jail for assault or something. "Do you really think this'll go to court, though?" It was a thought she didn't want to think about, but a worry none-the-less.

"I know that, but what happens when Ezra and Kyle decide to actually have a life of their own, or Leah and her husband decide to move away?" She sighed, only smirking slightly at Jake's comment about Ezra and 'his person', if the comment hadn't been made in association with something she was planning on keeping from the boy - she would probably have mentioned it to Kyle. "God, Jake. You know it means a hell of a lot that I can rely on you, right?" It wasn't that Neve didn't have other friends who she could count on, but she always felt better about accepting help from Jake - like she wasn't imposing on him in some way.

It still confused her why now, after all these years her In-laws were doing this. "Yeah, I know. Which speaking of parents...." Neve paused, wondering if Jake would be pissed she had been talking to his Mom about him recently. "Your Mom mentioned something about your ex-wife moving back here." She knew she could have tried to pass off that information as something Star maybe had mentioned to Shelby, but Neve was nothing if not honest. Everything Jake was saying made sense, and deep down she knew it all - but hearing someone else say it made it sink in more.

[jake_abernathy]

"Well, I'm one of the few exceptions to the general rule, and it was a specific circumstance," he said, half joking, half serious. He'd been lucky, but then, Mona had also completely disappeared at the time and he hadn't been able to find her until long after he'd actually filed for divorce. "I don't really think it will get through at all, but just in case, maybe you should get a good lawyer. Let me talk to my dad, he knows some good ones." His father's law firm had a variety of lawyers, and if anyone could talk them down in price it was his father. Sadly, his father wasn't the right sort of lawyer, or he knew the influential man would definitely represent her himself.

"Then you take stock and find other people. You're not without friends, Neve. And besides, Shelby is growing up and soon she'll be old enough to babysit herself. You'll have plenty of people to help you out. And just because those two might have a life of their own doesn't mean that Ezra's going to stop helping you out sometimes." He tweaked a strand of her hair. "I don't mind. You're my friend, of course I'm going to help."

He tilted his head faintly, hmmming. "Besides lawyers, would it help if maybe someone snooped around to find out what they're up to? I've met a few PIs through my father's firm over the years." And he'd be willing to swallow the cost. It wasn't like he didn't have money, it just wasn't something he'd ever bragged about.

He grimaced faintly. "Yeah, trust my mother to tell you that. Not that it's a secret..." He sighed. Star wasn't keeping it a secret, after all. "Yeah, Mona's back. She was in rehab but she's out now. Star was telling me the other day she got a job." At Dess' diner, of all places. The very thought made his head ache.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve smiled slightly, pulling out of the hug just a little to look Jake in the eye. "That's the understatement of the year." She replied, completely serious when she spoke. There wasn't a question in Neve's mind as to whether Jake deserved to have won custody of Star, in her years of knowing Jake she had never met a single father more devoted to doing the best by his kid that he possibly could. "God, I hope it doesn't get through." Neve sighed, nodding her head slightly when Jake mentioned his father's firm. "Yeah, as much as the idea sucks, I think you're probably right." The idea more than sucked, because it meant she might have to face this whole idiotic thing making it into the courts.

She couldn't help the face she pulled at the mention of asking for more help. "Jake, you know how much I hate imposing on people." Okay, so she liked to meddle and mother people, but asking for help was something Neve had always balked at. "And I know I have people around me right now, all of whom don't see this as imposing. But you know me, I kind of feel like I have to be super Mom to make up for Zach being gone."

The idea of snooping on her In-Laws hadn't even crossed her mind, but now that Jake mentioned it, Neve had to admit it was an appealing thought. "Honestly? It would probably help my sanity." She murmured, dropping her head back down onto Jake's shoulder. "But do you think snooping on them would be a good idea?" What would that look like to a judge if this ever did make it into the courts.

She laughed softly. "Hey, I have to get my information somehow, since you're unlikely to tell me these things." She said, knowing it was maybe a little low that she sought out Jake's mother for information when he wouldn't say anything. "So, Mona's back, and she's talking to Star...." Neve tried to figure out how to phrase the rest of her question, until finally just coming out with it. "How do you feel about it Jake? About Mona coming back into Star's life again?"

[jake_abernathy]

"I hope it doesn't either," Jake said. He wondered if there was something he could do to help with that, but he knew the society world and the law world only a bit, having left most of it to his parents, who were naturals at it. At least he could find her a lawyer, somehow, someone who wouldn't cheat her out of her hard earned money. That was the last thing she needed.

"It's not imposing if we offer," he told her firmly. "We actually like to help you and the girls out." Her girls were great, in fact. But then, Jake had always been a fan of kids. In some ways, it was rather sad that he'd only had the one, as he'd always envisioned having more someday. At thirty, it wasn't an impossibility, but in the wheelchair, for all he knew it might be. "You don't have to be SuperMom, you know. Your kids love you no matter what."

He patted her as she settled back against him. "I think it might be worth it. If you can find out why, and why now, that would help, and if needs must, you might even have some dirt you can use against them." That way she could prepare a defense and even an offense, if it was needed. He didn't think it would hurt her, or he wouldn't suggest it.

Jake half-shrugged. He just didn't want to burden other people with his problems, which is why he was usually reticent about telling people, not just Neve, about what he was dealing with. "Yeah, they're talking, and Star's loving it," he said with a heavier sigh than he meant to. "Honestly?" he said, "I hate it most of the time. I'm glad Star's happy, but for God's sake, she got out of rehab for drugs. I've had to explain some of that to Star, and what the hell is going to happen when she figures out how Mona helped to support her habit?" His tone was quiet but frustrated. He didn't exactly have proof, but from knowing Mona, he could make an educated guess as to what she'd done. "But she is Star's Mom, and they love each other." Even if he kind of hated sharing his daughter, sometimes.

[neve_stadheim]

Neve sighed. "Hope it doesn't either. God, I don't even want to think what it would do to the girls." She hadn't told them, and kind of hoped they hadn't over heard the conversation. Although if she were being honest, Mack was acting weird, but kept insisting she was okay.

"I know, I know." She had heard this argument from Jake before. Didn't mean she enjoyed asking for help. "Again, I know. The girls love it, really. Sometimes I think they get sick and tired of me." Her girls really did enjoy the interaction with everyone who was willing to help her out. Jake being one of their favorite people. "SuperMom is my own thing, the girls wouldn't care if I was just regular old mom, s'long as I'm around." Neve had promised herself she'd be a better mother than her own had been though.

She shrugged, knowing Jake was probably right. "Jake, when did you become the wisest person I know?" she half-joked. Honestly though, Jake was probably the one person that could talk Neve down from whatever counted as a freak-out for her. "Seriously though, if you think it would help and not hinder than I'm game."

Neve sighed. One day she would convince Jake that it was okay to talk about his problems with people, that it wasn't a burden - not that she was one to speak really. She nodded her head when Jake said that Mona and Star were talking, and that Star was loving it. "Mona's trying, that has to count for something." Only a little, but it maybe counted. "Jake, you're allowed to hate it. Mona wasn't a good mother to Star before, and now she's back and I'm sure in the back of your mind it's hard to put the past behind you." Neve didn't need Jake to spell it out for her to understand how Mona had supported her habit. She wouldn't want to be in Jake's shoes, but she wanted him to know she'd be there for him. "True, she is. But you know, if you need it I'm always around." Even with her own In-law drama, Neve would try her damnedest to be there for Jake.

[jake_abernathy]

"They'd be upset, I'm sure," Jake murmured. He'd ask Star to keep an ear out, but that would involve telling her what was going on, and she would pass it on, so if they didn't know they would. But he could ask after her friends, so maybe it could come out that way.

"Not sick and tired of you. But we're parents, and in the long run we're boring," he said dryly, a smile curling up the corners of his mouth faintly. "Other People are much more interesting than us at this point, or nearly so." Hitting the teen years, he feared he would lose the closeness he'd treasured with his daughter so far, not that there weren't problems sometimes, but yeah. That was why he wasn't taking any classes so far this summer.

"Not wisdom so much as things that have hit me over the head with a clue-by-four," he joked back, glad that she seemed to be leveling out. Neve wasn't one to freak out, but he could tell how much this disturbed her,and it disturbed him too, frankly, because Neve didn't deserve this at all. "I can get it started, then. Tell the guy not to be found out, be cautious." That way, they might be covered.

"It does count for something," he admitted grudgingly. After so long, it still apparently meant the world to his daughter. He hadn't realized how much she pined after her mother sometimes. He snorted softly. "I try hard not to hate it, though. Christ, we made a child together, I don't want to hate her." And he didn't, not truly, but some days he truly resented her, hated what she'd done to them. "And I don't want Star to hear me speak ill of her mother, so." He'd always tried not to, for his daughter's sake.

It was just... how did he get her to understand addiction? What if Mona relapsed--how was he supposed to explain to his daughter that a drug was more important than a daughter? Or that sex for money was wrong, when she adored her mother? She was only twelve.

"I know, and I appreciate that, Neve, truly I do," he said softly. "It's just hard to tell what I should and shouldn't do in this situation."

[neve_stadheim]

Neve couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her. “Not sure upset would even cover it. Shelby and Bryn might be able to maintain a calm, but Mack, well, something tells me my little troublemaker would seek revenge if she knew.” Neve knew her girls well, and Shelby was a lot like her; never one to panic or fly off the handle, Bryn was six and wouldn’t understand completely. Meanwhile Mackenzie was a little too much like her father, and would find a way to get back at her grandparents.

“Yes, I guess we are boring.” She agreed with a faint smile. “Well we’re their boring old parents, after all.” Her girls still looked forward to their Friday movie nights, but Neve knew sooner rather than later Shelby would be spending her Friday nights away from the house, and Mackenzie wouldn’t be far behind her. So she cherished the time she had with them right now, before they hit the teenage years and it suddenly became ‘uncool’ for them to spend time with their mother.

“It must have worked though, because to me you seem pretty wise.”She laughed. Neve was sure she’d make it through this mess in one piece, but knowing she had people like Jake backing her up made the whole processes easier. She sighed, nodding her head when Jake said he could get things started. “Thank you, Jake. Honestly, I was in panic mode, or what counts as panic mode for me.” And she had been which was something Neve wasn’t used to, she didn’t panic; it just wasn’t a part of her character.

It bothered Neve to know that Jake was dealing with all of this, part of her wanted to know just how much her friend was going to have to go through before life let up on him a bit. “You can try not to hate her, but Jake. Nobody says you have to like her either.” She remarked honestly. Although she couldn’t put herself in Jake’s shoes really, since she had three amazing little girls who she saw hints of their father in every day, and it was those little glimpses that made her smile; made her remember the man she had loved entirely. “

“Well, you’ve offered the same to me. That’s what friends do after all.” She pointed out, smiling slightly. “It is, and really you may not know the right course of action until you’re faced with having to deal with it.”

[jake_abernathy]

"Mmm, maybe that wouldn't be bad, in a way." It was the dilemma of having to discipline something you actually wanted to happen, though, and sending a wrong message. "But I also see why not. But your parents might think twice if the girls let them know they don't want a change." And he knew her kids would back her up.

"You're allowed to panic sometimes, Neve, and if there's something to panic about, this is it. I can't tell you how much I've worried about it in the past, especially after the accident." It had been the prime moment for someone to strike for custody. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you." And he would help in any way he could, but he knew that she knew that.

"Yes, well. I had a hand in making her how she is, though," he said quietly, shrugging slightly. He still felt guilty over how their marriage had gone, maybe he could have tried harder, maybe he should have taken his parents up on their help from the beginning, but oh, he'd been young and had his pride. But maybe Mona would have been happy then, and not turned to drugs.

[neve_stadheim]

"Maybe." Neve replied quietly. The idea of setting Mack loose on her In-Laws seemed kind of appealing, but that would mean she'd actually have to tell her daughters what was going on, and that idea wasn't appealing. "Or my In-laws will just ignore the girls and do it anyway." She didn't think they would do that, but apparently nothing was outside the realm of possibility.

She just shook her head, shrugging at Jake's words. Neve she was allowed to panic, but knowing that and actually allowing herself to do it were to different things. It wasn't that she didn't want to really, truly freak out - it was more that she didn't really know how. She had always been the one to remain calm while everyone else was freaking out. "Noted, though sometimes it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks." Neve remarked with a faint smile. "And thank you. Knowing I have people around me like you to help me, well, it's making this less terrifying."

Arguing with Jake about that seemed pointless, but really Neve didn't believe that he actually had a hand in making Mona the person that she was. Maybe it was a screwed up opinion, but Neve felt like everyone picked their own paths in life - and you shouldn't be held responsible for someone else's poor decisions. "Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. Mona made some of her own decisions, you can't honestly be held responsible for where she ended up, because at the end of the day that was her decision." Everyone had marriage issues or moments where they were unhappy, but not everyone turned to drugs to cure the unhappiness.

[jake_abernathy]

"Well, ignoring Mack is kind of hard to do," Jake said, half amused. He admired the middle girl's spunk, it did kind of remind him of Star in some ways. His daughter had always had more than her measure of spunk.

"Well, Neve, you are neither old nor a dog, so I expect you can learn a few things," Jake told her with a faint smirk. She wasn't old, to him, and she was much too pretty to ever be called a dog. He did hope he helped somehow, and he would try to figure out how to help her even more if he could. He hated to see her worried and scared, and she was, even if she wouldn't put it that way.

"I know it's not all my fault, but I had a part," he said. "I just wish it had turned out differently. You think you put it behind you, and it comes back." Mona comes back, he meant. He hadn't forgotten about her, he couldn't do that--there was a fair measure of his ex-wife in his daughter--but he had put a lot of those memories and feelings behind him and now they were strewn all over the place again. "And what will happen to Star if she relapses?"

[neve_stadheim]

Neve laughed. "I think Mack could convince the Pope he was Jewish, if she wanted to." That was Neve's way of saying her middle child was persistent, determined, and yeah Jack was right, pretty damn hard to ignore. "Even so, I think Ruth could manage to ignore her."

"I'm old enough, though I will concede that I'm not a dog." Neve remarked with a slight smile. She knew what Jake was really trying to say, or tell her. That it was okay to panic, admit to worry and she was allowed to be scared. All things she rarely admitted to feeling, "Jake,you've known me long enough to know that you will probably never see me panicking. But you've also known me long enough to know that even if I don't look the part or say the words, I probably am panicking."

"Everyone has something in life they wished had turned out differently." she said, her voice quiet as she spoke. "The hard things in life, the memorable ones, they'll never leave you. You may be able to tuck them away deep in your mind or heart, but they're never gone, not completely." As much as life would be easier if some things were easily forgotten or put behind you, it was almost always those things that always seemed to linger. "I can't even attempt to guess how Star will react, but if Mona does relapse, Star will have you, your parents, and other people, like me, to be there for her."

[jake_abernathy]

"Yes, I have known you long enough for that," he agreed. In a lot of ways, he was exactly the same. He rarely showed he was bothered or panicked, and that trait had stood them both in good stead in their careers--first his in the Army then as a firefighter, and hers as an EMT. He panicked a lot mroe these days, on the inside, especially when confronted with something he used to do easily and now either couldn't or shouldn't. "Doesn't mean I don't know what it looks like on you, though. Get a look in your eyes like I remember you having when you realized who was driving that truck when you arrived on scene."

It was gently said. He couldn't be bitter over that part of things, because he'd known he was in good hands the moment he saw her. He'd also already suspected what turned out to be true before she'd arrived.

He smiled very faintly. "Yeah, you're right as always." But he'd rather there be good things lurking than what felt like all his failures, sometimes. In the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep, it was hard to focus on the positive. "Yeah, she will. But you also know Star, and she might do something stupid if that happens too."