The Park, Tuesday Night, Secluded Area
Okay, she'd promised Dawn she was going to be good, so why was she doing this?
Rikku sighed, looking around as they trampled through the park, trying to find a secluded, dark sort of area.
It had started as a "hey, what if ..." - okay, a weird kinda funny one - and then a joke and now she and John Sheppard and his friend Andrew were out here doing something that was probably a very, very bad idea.
Luckily, Rikku had a lot of experience with those.
"Mmmmmmm," Rikku said as loudly as she could, wrinkling her nose a little. "All this raw, bloody steak we're carrying sure smells awesome."
Andrew wrinkled his nose and peered suspiciously into the shadows. "It sure does," he said overly loud. "And I can't get over how soft the skin of your neck looks in the moonlight," he added.
He swung his super soaker towards a small rustle in the underbrush, the holy water inside sloshing gently. "Tell me again why we decided to do this," he whispered. "I don't want to wind up in the clinic with a fatal case of neck rupture."
"You know what goes great with raw steak?" John asked loudly. "Barbeque sauce!"
He moved quickly behind Andrew, carrying a steak in one hand and a cross in the other. "Because Rikku would be great bait and you have holy water," John reminded him.
"Barbeque sauce is awesome!" Rikku said in that same false-cheery loud tone. "And thanks, Andrew! It's cause of my new skin moisturizer! I use ranch dressing on it! Both sides of my neck just glow!"
"I have holy water, too," she said, lowering her voice. "But I'm not sure if it's the same 'cause it's from my world and maybe my people don't do it the same way yours do? But I think we're doing this 'cause we're stupid."
"Are you still taking that ginkgo biloba, Rikku?" Andrew asked in his best boisterous stage voice. "I understand it increases the oxygen carrying capacity of your blood. Must mean your blood is super awesome compared to other people's, um, blood."
"You know, if we leave now, we could be back to the dorms in less than ten minutes," Andrew whispered to the group. "Vampires can't come into your room unless you ask them."
"With all that blood and ranch dressing, I bet your neck tastes great, too!" John added, hoping his voice sounded carefree.
"Relax, buddy," he whispered. "We have all the tools to stop a vampire right here."
"You bet it would!" Rikku chirped. "I have extra tablets with me! Anybody else want some ginkgo ... that stuff? I have bottles of it!"
"Are you sure holy water stops them?" Rikku hissed. "If we hit him with that and he keeps coming and he eats our necks and we die I'm going to be in big trouble okay!??"
"Well, holy water hurts them," Andrew said, "but it would take a lot of it to kill them. Crosses are supposed to hurt them too." Andrew had four of them around his neck.
"If you want to kill it, you really need go for the wooden stake through the heart. Oh, or you can behead them." He paused. "So, um, you guys can do that, right?"
"Sure we can!" John shrugged. "Rikku's got all kinds of stuff in her leg-pouch, right?" He probably should've asked that question before they left the dorms.
"I don't have, like, magic-beheading-bombs," Rikku said, rolling her eyes. "But I can probably blow something into tiny little pieces while we run like hell."
She bounced on her toes, tossing the ucky steak-lump to herself in her left hand. Ewwww, the juices were drying. Oh. Right. "Are you sure it's safe to be out here?" she called loudly. "By ourselves? I'm so frail."
"Little pieces are good," Andrew said. In a louder voice he added, "Don't worry little frail one, I hear that vampires are really the weakest of all demon kind."
Andrew pumped his super soaker a few more times, wanting to make sure the pressure was good and high. "I really hope this holy water is legit," he mumbled. "I mean, the seller had a really high satisfaction rating on ebay, so it should be okay."
"Weak and stupid," John added. "Whatever you do, tasty friend, don't trip and fall!"
"Really, this meat is getting kind of rank," he muttered. "I hope we find something interesting soon."
"I have really weak ankles," said Rikku loudly. "I trip and fall a lot. So I hope there aren't any vampires around!"
Rikku frowned. "Yeah, this is all sticky and I really wanna go wash my hands. A lot. With extra soap. 'Cause this smells gross."
"You know, this guy has a bit of a reputation around Sunnydale," Andrew whispered. "From what I understand he's ruthless with a capital... ruthless."
"I don't know why people seem to be so up in arms over this loser," Andrew cried. "I mean, back where I'm from, Angelus has become synonymous with impotent. You know, I'm worried about not being able to perform with Susie Q on Saturday, what if I get nervous and go all Angelus on her?" He laughed, unconvincingly.
"If you're scared, we can always go back to the dorms," John offered, thinking then he could get rid of the rank steak before it became one with his hand.
"You know, I heard people saying something like that in town today," John exclaimed. "He's supposed to be like a big fluffy kitten, right?"
"Dick jokes? Must we?" Rikku said, rolling her eyes. "How can vampires possibly find this smell enticing? I smell like something died."
Cluemeter reading: 0.
"I heard he runs slow and doesn't have any fangs," she called out. "He just tries to gum you to death and it's embarrassing."
"It's cold," Andrew whined. "And you guys smell like my aunt's freezer when it accidentally got unplugged and thawed out. Okay, so maybe it wasn't totally accidental, but..."
Andrew stopped and spun at another small rustle in the underbrush, accidentally squeezing the trigger on his super soaker and hosing down a small shrub.
"Um, maybe he's not coming," Andrew suggested.
"Maybe he saw us as a threat and fled," John rephrased. "What do you think, Rikku? Time to pack it in for the night?"
Rikku latched onto John's comment. "I bet you're right," she said, with a firm nod. "He totally saw us coming and ran the other way. We are badass. No point waiting around here."
"Totally badass," Andrew echoed. "I'm sure he's clear on the other side of the island by now, so we should, you know, hurry back to the dorms so we can protect the innocent ones there."
He pumped his super soaker a few times and turned around for the dorms, John and Rikku close behind.
(Contains large amounts of crack, zero violence or squick, and absolutely no redeeming value. Preplayed with the marvelous wannabe_pan and ltcolkirk. NFI, broadcast is fine, and OOC is love.)