Crying Cuz I Met You
I've been home for about twenty four hours. And I'm miserable. I mean - living in the apartment is cool, and mom and dad are being cool about everything. They set it up so I have my own phone line upstairs and got me hooked up online through mom's account, meaning I can be online whenever I want to be and it won't be interupting them. They even said they'd get me an air conditioner so I won't be piping all summer, so that's cool.
But being away from Qualms is killing me. I don't know how else to say it. I cried all the way home after I left him - I called him and we both cried on the phone. He called twice today and I called him once. I feel like I can't function without him. Like someone ripped away my shadow or something. I feel like I haven't spoken in forever because the only one to talk to is Lynnie. Being away from him literally is making my chest hurt. I tear up everytime I do something that I would normal do with or around him and everything just feels...wrong.
Right now I'm slowly unpacking stuff - I haven't gotten too much done, honestly, I spent a lot of today getting over the headache that crying so much gave me, and getting my resume set up and planning where to go look for jobs tomorrow.
My world is not right without Qualms. And it's even worse that I'm living pretty much alone above the garage - without Jenna, without Jason, without anyone but myself and Lynnie. I talked to Jenna briefly and she was sad too.
I don't think I can stay here longer than a summer, IF that. It's too depressing. I hope Qualms comes and saves me from Bowdoin, Maine.
And now I'm going to stop typing because even typing this is making me cry.
God I hate being a student. I just want to be with the man I love. That's all I ever want for the rest of my life. I'd give anything. Sigh.
But being away from Qualms is killing me. I don't know how else to say it. I cried all the way home after I left him - I called him and we both cried on the phone. He called twice today and I called him once. I feel like I can't function without him. Like someone ripped away my shadow or something. I feel like I haven't spoken in forever because the only one to talk to is Lynnie. Being away from him literally is making my chest hurt. I tear up everytime I do something that I would normal do with or around him and everything just feels...wrong.
Right now I'm slowly unpacking stuff - I haven't gotten too much done, honestly, I spent a lot of today getting over the headache that crying so much gave me, and getting my resume set up and planning where to go look for jobs tomorrow.
My world is not right without Qualms. And it's even worse that I'm living pretty much alone above the garage - without Jenna, without Jason, without anyone but myself and Lynnie. I talked to Jenna briefly and she was sad too.
I don't think I can stay here longer than a summer, IF that. It's too depressing. I hope Qualms comes and saves me from Bowdoin, Maine.
And now I'm going to stop typing because even typing this is making me cry.
God I hate being a student. I just want to be with the man I love. That's all I ever want for the rest of my life. I'd give anything. Sigh.