Introspective, yet fragmented thoughts...
Yesterday, I was running a few errands in Seekonk on the way back from my classes and ran into a very old friend of mine, whom I rarely see. It's interesting that we met seventeen years ago in passing while trying to find seats on a yellow school bus packed with obnoxiously loud children. I never realized how much time could change a person nor did I realize that someone could have made so many accomplishments in those seventeen years.
Anyway, I started thinking about myself on the drive home. What have I done in the past few years? Have I really changed much since my first semester at RIC? Have I changed much since grade school? I don't know if I could answer that. Maybe I can't. I've always found my life to be ordinary. I always try to be myself. This is what I see through my eyes. This is my perspective. Perhaps it's the fact that I see the world from the inside out, making the witnessing of everything surrounding me a priority. I just absorb information through various methods--hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, occasionally tasting--while unconsciously integrating it into my daily routine. That's why I seem normal to myself. There are days I wonder what'd it be like to just observe myself for a time, quite literally through another's eyes.
I also started asking myself a long time ago what knowledge I have to impart on others, what I could teach another person. I've come to realize that it's something that can't be forced. It's something that comes both naturally and candidly. Something wise that comes from an open, but not necessarily innocent mind. I think that's why I'm drawn to learning about anything and everything, trying not to become an expert on everything, but trying to find commonalities and intriguing links to various subjects. Now that I've actually considered these words, maybe that's why I so strongly feel that I'm ordinary. Sure, events or actions in my life may be either exciting, heartbreaking, or antagonizing, but they're only like that once. Should an experience repeat itself again, it's not as special as it originally was. I try to set the experience aside and wait for a new one to arrive. On a similar note, I treat each day as a brand new day, beginning it with an open mind.
Perhaps this is just who I am. Perhaps this is only a beginning.
Anyway, I started thinking about myself on the drive home. What have I done in the past few years? Have I really changed much since my first semester at RIC? Have I changed much since grade school? I don't know if I could answer that. Maybe I can't. I've always found my life to be ordinary. I always try to be myself. This is what I see through my eyes. This is my perspective. Perhaps it's the fact that I see the world from the inside out, making the witnessing of everything surrounding me a priority. I just absorb information through various methods--hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, occasionally tasting--while unconsciously integrating it into my daily routine. That's why I seem normal to myself. There are days I wonder what'd it be like to just observe myself for a time, quite literally through another's eyes.
I also started asking myself a long time ago what knowledge I have to impart on others, what I could teach another person. I've come to realize that it's something that can't be forced. It's something that comes both naturally and candidly. Something wise that comes from an open, but not necessarily innocent mind. I think that's why I'm drawn to learning about anything and everything, trying not to become an expert on everything, but trying to find commonalities and intriguing links to various subjects. Now that I've actually considered these words, maybe that's why I so strongly feel that I'm ordinary. Sure, events or actions in my life may be either exciting, heartbreaking, or antagonizing, but they're only like that once. Should an experience repeat itself again, it's not as special as it originally was. I try to set the experience aside and wait for a new one to arrive. On a similar note, I treat each day as a brand new day, beginning it with an open mind.
Perhaps this is just who I am. Perhaps this is only a beginning.