As some of you know, I've been doing a lot thinking. I'm sure if you use CTRL+F on my LJ, I'm sure you'll see the word "thinking" umpteen times
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You won't be alone. You're also not likely to give up everything of your past just to "save your future", so to speak. Your past has played a crucial role in getting you to where you are today. The past, however, has already happened, and it is only important where it comes back to relating to the present. You are still young and learning who you are. I understand something of it, too; you are still learning what it is like to be human. Believe me, in another couple of years, you're going to be 100% different from who you are today, but you will still be the same person. The best thing about life is that the only constant is change. You are learning about what it means to change things in your life. It is fine that you can look around you and see the things you do like and do not like. If you do not like something, you don't have to choose to do it or act on it. You do not have to become people who you look at and think "they are superficial" (or variations on that thought). You are able to choose to be like the people who you do desire to be like. You can choose to become what you most desire. You simply have to determine what it is that you most desire to become... and learn to make the choices that will bring you there.
I read Siddhartha for Zen and the Literary Experience. A very powerful book, I may add. I loved it. You are not he, either. You are not Hermann Hesse' figure as he portrayed him. You are simply living a life. There is a Zen about that, as well. What is your life leading you towards? That is your own answer and your own choice.
I am here, if you desire to talk. I am available by instant message, e-mail, and if you'd like to discourse on the grander questions in life, I consider myself to be someone who will hear you out and share his own theories. After all, we're all going through human life together, and if you need to speak to one of your brothers in the brotherhood of man, I consider myself a reasonable voice. In the meantime, don't worry about things -- even problems change, hopefully for the better.
Take some time for yourself to determine your own course of life... it's a big thing to look at from where you are. College time is meant to challenge you to question these things, and answer for yourself, and to yourself, ultimately.
I read Siddhartha for Zen and the Literary Experience. A very powerful book, I may add. I loved it. You are not he, either. You are not Hermann Hesse' figure as he portrayed him. You are simply living a life. There is a Zen about that, as well. What is your life leading you towards? That is your own answer and your own choice.
I am here, if you desire to talk. I am available by instant message, e-mail, and if you'd like to discourse on the grander questions in life, I consider myself to be someone who will hear you out and share his own theories. After all, we're all going through human life together, and if you need to speak to one of your brothers in the brotherhood of man, I consider myself a reasonable voice. In the meantime, don't worry about things -- even problems change, hopefully for the better.
Take some time for yourself to determine your own course of life... it's a big thing to look at from where you are. College time is meant to challenge you to question these things, and answer for yourself, and to yourself, ultimately.
Peace to you, my friend.
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