A deep story behind everything
Hmm does anyone actually read this anyway? Well fuck it, I only got it to sooth the addiction to this thing. The reason why I got this in the first place was A. Somehow I got addicted and B. I wanted people to know why I am such a jackass. I actually snapped in school today. I think it may have been in english. Someone just said something and then I just got completely pissed off. I was being a jackass kinda. Well to me I was a jackass, I try to let everything go by me. Like if people want to make fun of me, they can make fun of me. I guess being in English reminded me of my past I guess. Everyone was like vote, VOTE! First let me get this out. Everyone gets pissed off at me for not voting on their artistic responses. I'm a pessimist and am highly competitive. Grades are the only thing I have right now. I am very opened minded about my opinions but I had to do some thinking. Would I rather vote for something completely dumb and have a bad reputation in the class and have people grade me down next time I do my artistic response, or not grade at all? Think about it. People take offense to other people grading them down. I take offense to that too. I won't deny it. I also don't agree with this stupid grading method of popularity. Everyone including myself is to immature to handle getting graded. People hold grudges. So what is the most Buddhist thing you can do in this situation? NOT VOTE AT ALL. Sorry, I know I'm a geek for mentioning that but everyone has been wondering why I don't vote.
I went to a Tibetan protest today. I finally felt at peace when I got to talk with people that agree with me. Everyone there just wanted peace. There was no anarchy punks or makeshift liberals there, just people who believed in the cause. The police tried to be sneaky. God, they have to be the dumbest people ever. They had undercover policemen, badge policemen, and hell even 2 marines were there. They thought someone was going to ignite themselves on fire. Stupid pigs. For christ sakes, this is where our tax dollars are going. Having policemen monitor a peaceful protest. THEIR FUCKING TIBETANS, IT IS AGAISNT THEIR RELIGION TO DO ANYTHING VIOLENT! Idiots. Hmm, for the first time in like 3 months one of my articles hasn't gotten front page. It was just about March 19th and they were getting those posts up the crackers ass.
Now for my life portion of the live journal. I feel like I'm offending a lot of people being at this school. I feel like I hurt people when I do not know that I do. Last year was great. I remember, that I had a lot of friends. This year, I have about half of those friends. Hell, I only have 1 person on my friends list. Ha, I refered to live journal for my popularity. I really am a hypocrite. Read my user profile you'll understand. Well anyways, if anyone is listening, in which I doubt that, I wish I could go to public school. I make to many people people sad. Now I believe even my friends are starting to hate me, that or use me. Well no one is actually reading this so I might as well go in to my personal shit. My life has gone down hill extremely fast. My friends are starting to hate me, my family hates me, I hate me, and it feels like everyone hates me. I wish I could change myself. A part of me has died ever since. We all have a deep story behind everything but I'm not here to tell you mine. I don't want pitty attention, nor do I want sympathy. I just want people to understand. I wait everyday for things to get better but they never do, they just get worse. Hurting people seems like the only thing I can do. I wonder if I have any real friends. People that actually like me. How could I go from being so happy and so grateful to this in just a month? Fuck this. I hate giving you all a guilt trip. Ha nvm no one reads this. Allright, I am sorry everyone for being an asshole all the time. I can't help it. I'll stop talking now
I went to a Tibetan protest today. I finally felt at peace when I got to talk with people that agree with me. Everyone there just wanted peace. There was no anarchy punks or makeshift liberals there, just people who believed in the cause. The police tried to be sneaky. God, they have to be the dumbest people ever. They had undercover policemen, badge policemen, and hell even 2 marines were there. They thought someone was going to ignite themselves on fire. Stupid pigs. For christ sakes, this is where our tax dollars are going. Having policemen monitor a peaceful protest. THEIR FUCKING TIBETANS, IT IS AGAISNT THEIR RELIGION TO DO ANYTHING VIOLENT! Idiots. Hmm, for the first time in like 3 months one of my articles hasn't gotten front page. It was just about March 19th and they were getting those posts up the crackers ass.
Now for my life portion of the live journal. I feel like I'm offending a lot of people being at this school. I feel like I hurt people when I do not know that I do. Last year was great. I remember, that I had a lot of friends. This year, I have about half of those friends. Hell, I only have 1 person on my friends list. Ha, I refered to live journal for my popularity. I really am a hypocrite. Read my user profile you'll understand. Well anyways, if anyone is listening, in which I doubt that, I wish I could go to public school. I make to many people people sad. Now I believe even my friends are starting to hate me, that or use me. Well no one is actually reading this so I might as well go in to my personal shit. My life has gone down hill extremely fast. My friends are starting to hate me, my family hates me, I hate me, and it feels like everyone hates me. I wish I could change myself. A part of me has died ever since. We all have a deep story behind everything but I'm not here to tell you mine. I don't want pitty attention, nor do I want sympathy. I just want people to understand. I wait everyday for things to get better but they never do, they just get worse. Hurting people seems like the only thing I can do. I wonder if I have any real friends. People that actually like me. How could I go from being so happy and so grateful to this in just a month? Fuck this. I hate giving you all a guilt trip. Ha nvm no one reads this. Allright, I am sorry everyone for being an asshole all the time. I can't help it. I'll stop talking now