your weekly snark filled review.
Hello ladies and gents. Happy Thursday to all, hope everyone had a glorious Halloween. Let the reviewage commence!
-WTF is going on with this fortress shit. Ok seriously, this loofs like a bad remake of the wizard of OZ castle. And I am seriously tired of the Kara storyline. Boo hoo crystals and a blonde ho with a nice rack for guys to stare at. *bored now.*
-Kara goes bye bye to Earth. "DADDAY NOOOOOOOO!" whatever. And in order to return to Kansas Krypton, she has to click together use her magic slippers crystal.
-Somebody save this shooooow.
-Clark "this is all my fault." SHUT UP CLARK AND FIND YOUR OTHER TESTICLE. Apparently Kara is being a bad Supergirl.
-Ok Lionel just HUGGED Clark. What the flying FUCKNESS. LIONEL DOES NOT HUG. Let alone Clark.
-Uh oh. Government hookers got the crystal of DOOOOM. *imagines Bush's facial expression if he found something like this. commences to die laughing.*
-BALDY! Need I say more? Loaded convo ensues.
-Filler convo about filler plot device/crystal is complete and now they are scanning the crystal of DOOOOM. Baldy has left the building/underground governmental LAIR. How MOVING.
-Man does this show live off of skyline shots. We've been through 3 so far. Only 18 minutes in.
-Oh Kara, you really are a hookerface. Not only that, but STUPID AS FUCK. Does she not KNOW what security devices are? What a DUMBASS. In other words, she is FUCKED. :D
-LAAAAANA. Chloooe. Wait...she knows Lana is alive? WHERE WAS THE REUNION? I am sorry, but you just DON'T leave shit like that out. WHAT A GAPING HOLE IN THE STORYLINE PEOPLE. Like, shit, that is one of the biggest ones yet. WAY TO GO GUYS.
-Apparently Lana is starting a meteor freak charity organization. But alas, something is AMISS.
-Clark finds Kara. What a stupid CUNT. Oh the primary colored duo.
-Kara is def PMSING peeps. Gotta get that chick some hardcore super Midol or summat. This shit is serious. I mean, she just shoved Clark into metal doors, so hard that they BENT. I mean, SHE MEANS BIZNIZZ, MMKAAAY?
-ANOTHER OVERHEAD SKY SHOT! What the fuck that is FOUR.
-Jimmy/Kara moment. Jara? Kimmy? JIMMY..AJA! Yeah they are gonna bang.
-Uh oh, Lanas Uberscreens aren't working anymore. STATIC IS BAD.
-KRYPTONITE! UH OH! Government freak. And Lex knows he is being recorded?
-WTF DID HE JUST SHOOST BALDY?
-Uh oh now Lana has got her cameras of badassery back and saw ZE WHOLE THING!
-Ok apparently Lex wasn't shot, just knocked DA FUCK OUT.
-I am sorry but this ep is blowing harder than FOX.
-HAHAHAHA YET ANOTHER SKY SHOT. FIVE. HAHAHA.
-Oh Kara, you are impeding on my CLANA BANGAGA. Me no likey.
-UGH KARA FLASHBACKS ARE BORING. WHOA ITS THE KENT FARM!
-OH SHIT. This government guy is TERRIBLE. He now knows about both Clark AND Kara, and the fact that they are weakened by the meteor rocks. FUCK FUCK FUCK. This is not good at all.
- OH SHIT! Clark's MOMMAY and Kara's DADDAY were having an affair. OH SHIT. Or at least I think they were. Well Zor-El was trying to mack on her. WHAT THE FUCK.
-Kara is doed. UH OH. YAYYY! LIONEL SHOT THE BAD GUY! Maybe Lionel isn't so bad after all......
-After Clark super punches Kara's heart, she gasps dramastically and ALL IZ WELL.
WHERE IS MAH CLANA.
-Aw Clark just saw a picture of his mommy. *TEARS*
-Man Clark looks hot in this scene. GAH.
-Whoa Kara apologizes. How cute. But WHERE IS LANA. WTF.
-Ugh Luthor Mansion. In walks DADDAY LUTHOR. And of course he rattles off "No man is an island unto himself." Whatever Lionel. EVERYONE DRINK THEY QUOTED A FAMOUS LINE.
-Man this episode is such SUCK. There are no words.
-Lex, we all know you are an Evil Fuckwit. So stop with the facade already. TARD.
-Daily Planet. JIMMY, AJA. JARA/KIMMY moment. She calls him James. AWWWW.
-WHERE IS MAH CLANA MOTHAFUCKAS.
-OMG SHE JUST KISSED HIM. Okkk now Chloe walks in. How weird.
- YAY BARN SCENE!
-LANAAAA!!!!!!!! We have 2 minutes left. TWO MINUTES.
-OMG NO WAI. NO WAI. HE HAS THE CRYSTAL. AND HE SHOWED IT TO LANA. Then fade to black. FUCK THIS SHIT.