what the fuck happend?
What happend to me... I'm stuck in the KY and i just want to go....home? How can it be home if i don't even have a reliable place to stay.How can it be home if my family is here.. What is Home? Is it where the heart is? I never understood this metaphorical heart, What purpose does it serve, My actual heart keeps me alive, but this figmented heart tears me, and makes me wish for death. I didn't say goodbye to... I never said how it was... I only wish... Time to pick myself up again. If i can't handle reality, who the fuck can? Looking back is a path to the dark side. I must train my self to let go to all those i care about, or i'll end up like Anakin. I don't want to hurt anyone, and i also don't want to hurt. Saying goodbye hurts.. being forgotton hurts more.. I have not forgotton anyone, i probably never will, but saying that i'll never see someone again, like saying goodbye is not something i want to do. I always say see you later, even if it is going to be forever, i hate that finalization. I miss all in MI, even the people i hated, but I don't want them to miss me, cuz i'm not coming back, maybe to visit and to tease myself, but never permanent.This is going to be my last entry, then i am cutting myself off from the pain. To someone who i hope knows who she is and actually reads this I didn't see you before i moved for the same reason I dont answer your phone calls, it hurts me too much to talk to you, to know that i have thought about an "us" for the past 2 years and when it finally looked like it was plauseable, i moved out of state. I hate being strung along, so i spared you of it, if (and i know this sounds quite egotistical) I caused any pain you have my utmost apoligies, It was what i was tring to avoid. I wanna go home...Wherever the fuck that is....
~~I Dissapear~~
~~I Dissapear~~