Dear F-list. Today, I got attacked by a rampaging rhino.
Danie: 'SHIT, THE RHINOS ARE CHARGING!!! DRIVE, DRIIIVE!!!'
Indy: *LIFE. FLASHING. BEFORE EYES.*
An educational post today, I think!
Basically it's half term, so today my friends and I went to Knowsley Safari Park, because we do cool stuff like that. But mostly because sometimes I get bored and say things like, 'you know what we should do? Go to a safari park!'. Then I get attacked by wild animals and think better of it. XD
Near-Death Experiences Today:
1. Charged at by rhinos (THIS WAS ACTUALLY TERRIFYING, lmao)
2. Approached by lions:
Yeah, they were THAT CLOSE.
OK, not quite that close.
I am either supposed to be screaming with eaten-by-lions-pain in this picture, or else going 'it's the CIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIFE!!!' (which yes, we did play all the way around the safari trail). I can't remember which.
3. Sat on by monkeys
If you don't think that's a near-death experience, you should see the car afterwards:
4. Er... licked by... cows.
My hand is blurry because I am PULLING IT THE FUCK AWAY. AARGH.
Fortunately I had wildlife expert Leah Indiana Jones around to protect me from all the above by impersonating a rival rhino with her banana guard. What is a banana guard? I don't know. But it looks quite dirty she taught me a lot about wildlife. Did you know an elephant only breathes four to six times a minute? Leah tried to do this too, but nearly died when Louise forgot to tell her that the minute was up. Bad luck.
Here are some elephants (breathing four to six times a minute):
And here is our vulture posting competiton:
I think I win on the basis that I'm sticking my bum out so much? o__O Really, why.
I also used my crazy photography skillz to capture TIGERZ IN THE WIILD:
'OH LOOK, A HORSE--- oh. No, it's a wallaby.'
TIGER: *EATZ* (nomnomnom XD)
Yeah alright, I brought my own tiger. On an unrelated note, COULD MY LEGS BE ANY WHITER? EVER?
General pic spam:
(My new boyfriend)
'CRIKEY!'
I AM A HUNGRY HIPPO!!
...I'm overcompensating for not posting at all in January, aren't I? In my defence, NOTHING IN THE WORLD happened during January. Feel free to tell me all your January sagas if January was good for you. But I bet it wasn't.
Also I'm pretty dormant during January and have only woken up now because the sun has been out these past few days. ^___^
Love your faces,
Indy.x ♥