--> M is for Magnetic
Wow, long day today. Had an A.P. Statistics test which wasn't too horrid. It was actually not as hard as i anticipated. There are always questions that make you think a lot because of the wording and stuff, but hopefully i did well. Hopefully. I'm doing really well so far this year. Mr. Giuliano said that the B+s that were put down as 9/10s were actually A-s so yea. Which means i've gotten A-s on just about everything we've done so far [knock on wood]. Grades in U.S. History were posted, got an A. And Stats i'm pretty sure i've got an A [since i retook the test and turned in a tissue box to make my test score 104%]. I'm not sure how i'm doing in Spanish. I know i screwed up once because i didn't have my book covered so he took off five points, and i got only 14 points for participation [out of 20] so that kind of sucks.
Erin let me borrow Fire Emblem. It's great, playing video games i mean. I miss it. We never really had the money for it before, but i really do love video games. Mother always said it rotted my brain, but i think they actually made me smarter haha. Because i usually play RPGs and strategy games and stuff. The ones that actually need some thought put into it!
Applied for a job at In-N-Out. Erin wants me to get hired so she gets fifty extra dollars added to her pay every week. It pays well [really well] and if i get the same schedule as Erin i'll always have a ride. Lunch is free, and supposedly there are a lot of benefits and stuff. CVS still hasn't called me back. Oh well.
We got our transcripts in T.A. today. My GPA is so fucking low. I know it's a 3.4 and some people would be uber happy to have a 3.4, but i'm asian, and i want to go to a good school, and so far, a 3.4 just doesn't quite cut it. I really need to do well on my SATs, like a 2200 and above. We were talking about subject tests recently. And it's recommended that we take 2-3. I hate how the only thing i'm really good at is Math. So taking the math subject test is a given. Everyone else is taking a science [chemistry or biology]. I can't take a science! I suck at science! If science were a person, science would beat the shit out of me. Repeatedly. So i might take Math and English. Which is so lame. And i'm not even all that great at English. And a third one? I don't even know. I might take spanish, but... i'm not exactly great at that either. And my other option is like.. history. No way. No way in hell. I wish i was fluent in another language. Maggie is taking the chinese one, because she can read and speak and write chinese fluently! AGH! What a lucky ho! [i love you maggie!]
I haven't even started on my brag sheet either. Mine is seriously going to be so short. Everyone else has principal's honors roll and NHS and CSF or SSR or something to put on their sheets. I have what? An A.P. Euro exam of 4, and marching band. Wow. I was principal's honors roll once. Freshman year fall semester. Great. I didn't join a club, i'm not in any extracurriculars. I'm not in a sport, i don't do volunteer work, i'm not even academically successful! And stuff from middle school doesn't count. But even if i were able to add that, it wouldn't be to great. I won a math award, i was in academic hallmark, i got an excellent at on a duet in seventh grade, i did my eighth grade yearbook cover, i'm in archery. I wish i didn't quit karate. Or basketball. Or swimming. Or flute. Or track.
Hopefully i'll get awesome grades this year, colleges love the upwards trend. And with a high SAT score i could be in good shape. i have only one choice for college so far, and that sucks like shit. I hope i get into something i'm happy with. I hope i'm making the right major choices. I hope i'll be happy making the decision to move out of California and venture out on my own for a while.
The thought seems incredibly adventurous. Part of me wants it to happen so badly right now. And well, the other part is scared shitless. Part of me really does want to stay in California. It's like... i don't know. It's home you know? I'm born and raised and i've lived here all my life. I didn't come from anywhere else, i didn't live outside of it for a while, i've only ever left california a few times, and nothing for a long amount of time. California is familiar, it's home, it's friendly, it's stable. I know California. I know its cities, i know its streets, i know its highways. I know how to get from Southern California to Northern California. I know how to get from San Francisco to Irvine. I know how to get to Sacremento from Vallejo or Los Angeles. I know how to get from San Mateo to Daly City. I know the Bay Area, i know Pacifica, i know Huntington Beach, i know Corona Del Mar, i know Lake Tahoe, i know Big Bear, i know Yosemite, i know Irvine, i know San Francisco, and San Mateo, and Daly City, and Santa Ana, and Vallejo, and Sacramento, and Monterey, and parts of San Diego, and Pasadena, and Fresno, and Oakland, and Colma, and San Bruno, and Westborough.
And the thought of going somewhere new, exciting, and almost completely foreign is both compelling and terrifying. I won't know anyone, any place, any thing! I really like the whole starting over aspect. No one knows you in college, you can be whoever. You're new. People don't give a shit! But, that's scary. What if you try to be someone that you're not. What if i get lost. People are always like, oh yea Jayne, you'll have an easy time making friends. But that's because i'm only daring and talkative with friends. I can only meet new people once i'm confortable in the situation i'm in! It's crazy i know. But still.
College will come. I desperately want to not worry about it. But there's so much pressure to do well and get good grades and study and pay attention to your extracurriculars these days. I want to say fuck it. And just do my thing the way i've been doing it; working it my way. But i guess this is that point in your life that you realize that something bigger than you is happening, is going to happen, and you either jump on the bandwagon now, or get lost in the dust after. It's that point you realize that there is no going back. You will skin your knees and no one will care, you will get fired from jobs and no one will care, you will fall and no one will care. This is it. We're almost on our own. Is it terrifying? Damn straight it is.
I've been waiting for this. And now that it's almost upon me, i don't know what to do. And we can't turn around and walk back in these situations. I want everything to turn out right for once.
Erin let me borrow Fire Emblem. It's great, playing video games i mean. I miss it. We never really had the money for it before, but i really do love video games. Mother always said it rotted my brain, but i think they actually made me smarter haha. Because i usually play RPGs and strategy games and stuff. The ones that actually need some thought put into it!
Applied for a job at In-N-Out. Erin wants me to get hired so she gets fifty extra dollars added to her pay every week. It pays well [really well] and if i get the same schedule as Erin i'll always have a ride. Lunch is free, and supposedly there are a lot of benefits and stuff. CVS still hasn't called me back. Oh well.
We got our transcripts in T.A. today. My GPA is so fucking low. I know it's a 3.4 and some people would be uber happy to have a 3.4, but i'm asian, and i want to go to a good school, and so far, a 3.4 just doesn't quite cut it. I really need to do well on my SATs, like a 2200 and above. We were talking about subject tests recently. And it's recommended that we take 2-3. I hate how the only thing i'm really good at is Math. So taking the math subject test is a given. Everyone else is taking a science [chemistry or biology]. I can't take a science! I suck at science! If science were a person, science would beat the shit out of me. Repeatedly. So i might take Math and English. Which is so lame. And i'm not even all that great at English. And a third one? I don't even know. I might take spanish, but... i'm not exactly great at that either. And my other option is like.. history. No way. No way in hell. I wish i was fluent in another language. Maggie is taking the chinese one, because she can read and speak and write chinese fluently! AGH! What a lucky ho! [i love you maggie!]
I haven't even started on my brag sheet either. Mine is seriously going to be so short. Everyone else has principal's honors roll and NHS and CSF or SSR or something to put on their sheets. I have what? An A.P. Euro exam of 4, and marching band. Wow. I was principal's honors roll once. Freshman year fall semester. Great. I didn't join a club, i'm not in any extracurriculars. I'm not in a sport, i don't do volunteer work, i'm not even academically successful! And stuff from middle school doesn't count. But even if i were able to add that, it wouldn't be to great. I won a math award, i was in academic hallmark, i got an excellent at on a duet in seventh grade, i did my eighth grade yearbook cover, i'm in archery. I wish i didn't quit karate. Or basketball. Or swimming. Or flute. Or track.
Hopefully i'll get awesome grades this year, colleges love the upwards trend. And with a high SAT score i could be in good shape. i have only one choice for college so far, and that sucks like shit. I hope i get into something i'm happy with. I hope i'm making the right major choices. I hope i'll be happy making the decision to move out of California and venture out on my own for a while.
The thought seems incredibly adventurous. Part of me wants it to happen so badly right now. And well, the other part is scared shitless. Part of me really does want to stay in California. It's like... i don't know. It's home you know? I'm born and raised and i've lived here all my life. I didn't come from anywhere else, i didn't live outside of it for a while, i've only ever left california a few times, and nothing for a long amount of time. California is familiar, it's home, it's friendly, it's stable. I know California. I know its cities, i know its streets, i know its highways. I know how to get from Southern California to Northern California. I know how to get from San Francisco to Irvine. I know how to get to Sacremento from Vallejo or Los Angeles. I know how to get from San Mateo to Daly City. I know the Bay Area, i know Pacifica, i know Huntington Beach, i know Corona Del Mar, i know Lake Tahoe, i know Big Bear, i know Yosemite, i know Irvine, i know San Francisco, and San Mateo, and Daly City, and Santa Ana, and Vallejo, and Sacramento, and Monterey, and parts of San Diego, and Pasadena, and Fresno, and Oakland, and Colma, and San Bruno, and Westborough.
And the thought of going somewhere new, exciting, and almost completely foreign is both compelling and terrifying. I won't know anyone, any place, any thing! I really like the whole starting over aspect. No one knows you in college, you can be whoever. You're new. People don't give a shit! But, that's scary. What if you try to be someone that you're not. What if i get lost. People are always like, oh yea Jayne, you'll have an easy time making friends. But that's because i'm only daring and talkative with friends. I can only meet new people once i'm confortable in the situation i'm in! It's crazy i know. But still.
College will come. I desperately want to not worry about it. But there's so much pressure to do well and get good grades and study and pay attention to your extracurriculars these days. I want to say fuck it. And just do my thing the way i've been doing it; working it my way. But i guess this is that point in your life that you realize that something bigger than you is happening, is going to happen, and you either jump on the bandwagon now, or get lost in the dust after. It's that point you realize that there is no going back. You will skin your knees and no one will care, you will get fired from jobs and no one will care, you will fall and no one will care. This is it. We're almost on our own. Is it terrifying? Damn straight it is.
I've been waiting for this. And now that it's almost upon me, i don't know what to do. And we can't turn around and walk back in these situations. I want everything to turn out right for once.