(no subject)
When I was "seeing" Tory or whatever, I told him right off the bat about my ed. That, obviously did not work out to my advantage. Except, I guess, for the fact that it was honest and showed me that he couldn't handle it before things got too serious.
I told a friend right after that, when explaining my relationship with Tory. She said, "Yeah, but you're not really anorexic."
I think that's the worst possible thing you can say. How much of a fucking trigger is that. Oh, you don't believe me? Am I not thin enough that I could possibly have an eating disorder? Thank you for reinforcing the idea that I'm still not thin enough.
Also, there is a cereal commercial that triggers me every time I see it. I forget which cereal, but it shows a chick choosing their cereal as her late night snack as opposed to something with more calories that will "erase your whole day," saying that doing so can help you lose weight. Um, this chick is thinner than me. Are you saying she's not thin enough either?
I don't want to care what other people think. I do, however, want people to think I am a perfectly thin little girl.
Yesterday I had a couple bites of noodles and 4 vegan chicken nuggets. Plus coffee with soy, and water and juice.
Today I ate too fucking much. I had a slice of pizza (patted off the grease) and 1/2 a subway tuna sandwich. I'm not even sticking to the veganism. I'm fucking up and I can't handle it. I want to be perfect when James comes back. Okay, I have some grape nuts at work, and a 1/2 size odwalla superfood. That should get me through tomorrow.
I told a friend right after that, when explaining my relationship with Tory. She said, "Yeah, but you're not really anorexic."
I think that's the worst possible thing you can say. How much of a fucking trigger is that. Oh, you don't believe me? Am I not thin enough that I could possibly have an eating disorder? Thank you for reinforcing the idea that I'm still not thin enough.
Also, there is a cereal commercial that triggers me every time I see it. I forget which cereal, but it shows a chick choosing their cereal as her late night snack as opposed to something with more calories that will "erase your whole day," saying that doing so can help you lose weight. Um, this chick is thinner than me. Are you saying she's not thin enough either?
I don't want to care what other people think. I do, however, want people to think I am a perfectly thin little girl.
Yesterday I had a couple bites of noodles and 4 vegan chicken nuggets. Plus coffee with soy, and water and juice.
Today I ate too fucking much. I had a slice of pizza (patted off the grease) and 1/2 a subway tuna sandwich. I'm not even sticking to the veganism. I'm fucking up and I can't handle it. I want to be perfect when James comes back. Okay, I have some grape nuts at work, and a 1/2 size odwalla superfood. That should get me through tomorrow.