there's no point trying to hide it
Putting my life in a little bit of perspective has made me realize that there are a ton of things I still want to do with my life, and it's a little overwhelming to think of how little I've accomplished. Of course, at the same time I've accomplished an incredible amount (as Mr. Fox likes to remind me, more than many people will ever accomplish), so it's all a matter of my mood.
I have until October 18 to keep trying for my 101 in 1001 goals, and I'm probably going to renew most of them at that point. I had a lot of goals that didn't take into account me going to grad school - at the time I wrote the goals, I hadn't seriously considered either being accepted or going, and I thought I was probably going to end up working or, worst case, in law school. Funny how things change - just a couple months later I was arguing with my parents about doing my MA.
There are a lot of things in my life I wish were different - I wish I were prettier, I wish I could stay here living by myself, I wish I kept in better touch with my friends, I wish I met more people, I wish people would like me, I wish I were better at picking men - but overall there's nothing I regret and nothing I would really change. I regret the disappointment I've caused, but without those choices (or accidents) I wouldn't be the person I am, so there's really no point.
I drove through Duke today on my way to and from brunch with Patrick, and it only then just began to occur to me that I won't be doing that anymore. I don't have the same kind of attachment to the campus that an undergrad would, but I am used to it, and will miss it. I hate the end of the school year, when everything is quiet and everyone begins to leave and the buses are empty.
For now, I'm just going to work on my job applications and try to scrounge up some extra money here and there, work on my things that make me happy, and watching more AFI movies. Seems as good a way as any to relax and get used to the idea that something new is starting.
I tried 2 new restaurants yesterday and am very pleased with myself. Even if I only picked one of them; the other was for the program party.
I have until October 18 to keep trying for my 101 in 1001 goals, and I'm probably going to renew most of them at that point. I had a lot of goals that didn't take into account me going to grad school - at the time I wrote the goals, I hadn't seriously considered either being accepted or going, and I thought I was probably going to end up working or, worst case, in law school. Funny how things change - just a couple months later I was arguing with my parents about doing my MA.
There are a lot of things in my life I wish were different - I wish I were prettier, I wish I could stay here living by myself, I wish I kept in better touch with my friends, I wish I met more people, I wish people would like me, I wish I were better at picking men - but overall there's nothing I regret and nothing I would really change. I regret the disappointment I've caused, but without those choices (or accidents) I wouldn't be the person I am, so there's really no point.
I drove through Duke today on my way to and from brunch with Patrick, and it only then just began to occur to me that I won't be doing that anymore. I don't have the same kind of attachment to the campus that an undergrad would, but I am used to it, and will miss it. I hate the end of the school year, when everything is quiet and everyone begins to leave and the buses are empty.
For now, I'm just going to work on my job applications and try to scrounge up some extra money here and there, work on my things that make me happy, and watching more AFI movies. Seems as good a way as any to relax and get used to the idea that something new is starting.
I tried 2 new restaurants yesterday and am very pleased with myself. Even if I only picked one of them; the other was for the program party.