THE LIST
nine years, three months, eleven days, twenty one hours and thirty minutes ago, i started this list with my friend who's based in the States,who in turn has started it with two of her friends there. all four of us were single at that time.
*i am posting this verbatim as it was written all those years ago with the italized entries added four years ago when i came across the list again. uncannily, the list still rings true to this day.*
it is the list of 100 traits that we hope to find in the man we'll end up with. yeah, the elusive ONE! our significant other, our better half, to love and to hold and all that crap. you get the picture.
point of the whole exercise is to send out to the universe what we wanted to find in our man with the hopes that finally the forces will conspire for us to meet him, whoever he is, if he does exist.
methinks, we've read too much into paolo coehlo's the alchemist or better yet, we've read it the wrong way. whatever! i don't know why i agreed to do this list in the first place. except maybe, somewhere deep down inside, in the dark recessess of my subconcious, i wanted this thing called "love" to happen to me finally. bleagh!
oh and did i forget to mention, that we made a pact that by the time we have finished our lists, we should be in the arms of the man of our dreams. suffice to say, two years after the list have been completed by all four of us, one is already in a very happy and loving relationship, while another one married her beau last year. and by no accounts am i either one. yey!
anyways, here's the list that i've made. pardon the entries as some are downright cheesy. blame it on youth, i just didn't know any better.
100 THINGS I HOPE TO FIND IN MY MAN
1. he has to have "killer" eyes
2. he has to be taller than me. (5'7" and above)
3. he has to know how to play at least one musical instrument
4. he must like poetry and literature
5. he has to be respectful to everyone
6. he must love life and living
7. he must be humble
8. he must be responsible
9. he must be understanding
10. he has to be smart
11. he has to be sweet
12. he must not be afraid to cry and to show it - "boys don't cry, men do", still rings true to this day
13. he must be God-fearing - no matter what religion as long as he believes in the rule of karma
14. he must love his family and mine of course
15. he must be great with kids and pets
16. he must be kind to and concerned with the environment
17. he must open doors and pull out chairs - a little chivalry from time to time won't hurt
18. he must have a GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR! - wonder why i put that in all caps?
19. he must talk with SENSE and DEPTH - now this one is obvious
20. he must be able to laugh at himself
21. he must have nice teeth
22. he must squeeze the toothpaste tube at the bottom and close the cap afterwards - i'm OC
23. he must be a good kisser (french and otherwise) - hahaha!
24. he must be GREAT IN BED! - need i say more?
25. he must have a sexy voice and a good singing voice - who was, err what was i thinking?
26. he must have nice, clean nails -cleanliness is next to godliness
27. he must have good diction and conversant in english - at my present state of mind, willingness to learn english is already endearing.
28. he must advocate SHARED PARENTHOOD - afterall a child can't be born unto one parent alone
29. he must have a good head for business
30. he must not think that saying I Love You is corny and must tell me at least once a day and mean it
31. he must never forget birthdays and anniversaries - lest he wants to be forgotten himself!
32. he must be a neat and cool dresser - someone with his own style
33. he must smell good
34. he must be able to do housework when needed
35. he must be a "handyman" - "i can fix broken hearts yes i truly can" and broken plumbing, tv and other technical stuff
36. he must not be very "seloso" (jealous) - operative word is "very"
37. he must give me space and room to grow as an individual
38. he must not be capable of hurting a woman physically and otherwise - and otherwise
39. he must be able to give me romantic surprises and must be creative about it
40. he must be masculine and manly without being loud about it
41. he must be able to admit his faults and apologize for it - its never hard to say "i'm sorry"
42. he must not impose his will on me specifically if it would impede my individuality
43. he must respect my moods - sting sums it up nicely : "she's (me) all four seasons in one day"
44. he must not degrade anything or anyone
45. he must have an opinion on everyday issues but is not an know-it-all
46. he must have a WORD OF HONOR
47. he must be HONEST in every sense of the word - oh no, methinks this will get me in trouble
48. he must be adventurous
49. he must have at least one sport
50. he must have a nice nose
51. he must have sexy lips
52. he has to be the colour of cafe au lait, with more lait - not too dark, not too pale either
53. he must be emotionally stable - "i need a man not a boy who thinks he can"
54. he must have well-kept hair, be it long or short - the better to run my fingers thru it
55. he must share my affinity for the sea - i can't swim, but i'd love to have a house near the ocean
56. he must like jazz/crossover music
57. he must know how to slow dance at the very least
58. he must have a nice (breathtaking, if possible) SMILE
59. he must know how to drive and must own a car - a luxury before but a necessity at present times
60. he must be helpful to others aside from his family
61. he must be comfortable with himself and proud of who and what he is
62. he must have a purpose and goals in life and works towards achieving them
63. he must always be young at heart - childlike qualities but not childish
64. he must be a giving person but not to the point that he'll be abused for it
65. he must not be self-absorbed
66. he must have a life outside our relationship but must know that family comes first, always
67. he must know his priorities in life
68. he must have an "open mind" on life and its quirks
69. he must not be too dependent on the relationship nor too dependent on me - and vice-versa
70. he must be his own person
71. he must know how to compromise for our relationship
72. he must be a good listener
73. he must be financially independent
74. he must be flexible (personality-wise) - and otherwise
75. he must generally be good-natured
76. he must have a good solid education (a degree-holder or at least works towards earning a degree)
77. he must be a good provider
78. he must be faithful to me and our family
79. he must not be afraid of growing old - peter pan stay away from me!
80. he must know how to appreciate the finer things in life
81. he must know the value of money and of saving up for the rainy days but must not be stingy
82. he must be fair with his judgements of people, events and situations
83. he must be capable of making level-headed decisions and sticking to them
84. he must be a secure individual
85. he must know how to react positively and decisively in times of crises and emergencies
86. he must be open to experiments but not too experimental - well it really depends *wink*
87. he must not be afraid to take necessary risks in life
88. he must not be afraid of failure and must know how to rise above it
89. he must have a wonderful sounding laughter
90. he must believe in destiny (me and him) - to quote The Alchemist, "mahktub, it is written"
91. he has to believe in soulmates (me and him) - though not necessarily, i like what a local actor once said, that soulmates can never be together physically. true. soulmates have a higher purpose, connected and bounded by a higher kind of love. thus my man and i are destined but are not soulmates. makes sense.
92. he has to have the patience and understanding when going to the mall with me - don't we wish all men have this trait
93. he has to love holding hands and cuddling at the movies - specially when we are old and gray. sweet.
94. he must love travelling locally and abroad with me and our kids - another form of education
95. he must enjoy taking care of and goofing around with our kids but also knows how to discipline them. - this one is a toughie, i know. but i have a guy in mind who would fit the bill
96. he has to be lean - i don't know what it is with lean men. but i've been attracted to them all my life
97. he must love picnics, sunrises, sunsets and stargazing
98. he must be driven and ambitious but not at the expense of others
99. he must have a good heart and a great soul
100. he must be the one for me!
so what's on your list?