The Case of the Kidnapped Kurt (part the second)
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"Alright, since I am clearly the superior leader in this group, I should be the one to inform Mr. Hummel of his son's unfortunate kidnapping and possible execution," Rachel said as the members of New Directions regrouped outside of the Humelson household.
"Um, shouldn't Finn do it, since Kurt's his brother, and he kind of promised Mr. H. that he'd look out for him?" Mercedes asked, putting a hand on her hip and glaring at Finn pointedly.
"Hey, no way. Burt just got over being mad at me from the last time...and the time before that. Do you know how awkward it'll be watching the Superbowl with him if he's mad at me again? Plus, it'll make my mom all upset..." He finished, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk.
"I'll do it!" Brittany said, bouncing up and down in excitement. "I bet Kurt's dad'll be really glad he got a job where he gets to fly everywhere!"
"...Well, now that we've once again established that Brittany missed a few crucial episodes of Mister Rogers as a kid, may I suggest we figure out what we're doing?" Rachel said, tapping her foot impatiently.
"For once, I agree with Berry," Santana said, snapping her gum while she spoke. "Also, while we've been standing here, the kidnappers have probably already shaved off Hummel's eyebrows, or whatever they do to gay guys when they kidnap them."
"Oh sweet Jesus, they're gonna destroy his clothing." Mercedes said, putting her hand over her heart in shock. "He wore that new McQueen jacket today, too...If they mess up the stitching, he'll have a nervous breakdown..."
"Guys? Here's an idea," Mr. Schue said as he walked up from where he had just gotten out of his car. "How about when I say 'Wait a minute, I'll come along to talk to Kurt's dad', you actually wait instead of waiting until my back's turned to run out of the room?" Giving the group of kids his best 'Disappointed' face, he made his way through the small crowd to knock on the door.
"Mr. Schue! Kids! To what do I owe the honor?" Burt asked as he swung the door open, smiling at the group on his steps. "Well, aside from you, Finn. I know why you're here...Not sure why you made your friends wait outside when you've got a key, but hey, I won't ask." He motioned them all inside, not seeming to notice how uncomfortable they all looked.
"Where's Kurt? Off with Blaine again, huh? I swear, I don't know how that kid's passing his classes with as much as he's out...Then again, I was the same way with his mom, so he gets it honest I guess." Burt said, chuckling and shaking his head fondly.
"Mr. Hummel, we think Kurt's been kidnapped." Will blurted out, slapping his hand over his mouth afterwards, shocked at how abruptly the news had slipped out. Realizing he didn't really have a choice but to continue, he lowered his hand and took a deep breath.
"Rachel and Finn saw two rather large men grab Kurt when he walked out to his car between classes. We're not sure where they took him, but he's not answering texts from anyone, and no one has seen Anthony since this morning." He sighed, putting a hand on Burt's shoulder, squeezing in what he hoped was a comforting manner.
"...Um...Burt?" Finn asked, raising his hand as if in class. "I just wanna say...I totally woulda stopped those guys, but they were like...Two of me...and a half."
Burt nodded slowly, looking between the members of New Directions for a minute before pulling out his phone and dialing Kurt's cellphone, smiling as his son picked up. "Hey kid...Yeah, everything's fine...I hear you got kidnapped, though...No, he didn't, but Finn and Mr. Schue and everyone else did...No, I'm not kidding...I'm serious! I'm lookin' at all of 'em right now, you'd think their puppy got run over...Oh...Really? Time for that already, huh?" He whistled softly, shaking his head slightly. "You're in for the long haul now, kid...Yeah, I'll let you go. Say hello for me, I wouldn't wanna get on her bad side...Yeah, you too. Bye, kiddo."
He hung up, putting his phone back in his pocked before looking at the group in front of him. "Kurt says to tell you all that, and this is straight from the horse's mouth, you're a group of meddling busy-bodies that puts the Mystery Inc. gang to shame and that clearly the entire group's IQ drops in to the negatives when he's not around."
"If our IQ was in the negatives, wouldn't we get frostbite?" Brittany asked, shivering slightly.
Burt shook his head at the blonde before continuing on. "Kurt also said to tell you all that he won't be home until later tonight, so he'll talk to you all tomorrow." When none of the kids seemed to get the hint, Burt sighed. "That means 'go home', guys. He's fine." As they stood up and filed out the door slowly, Will stayed behind.
"If he's fine, why didn't he answer when any of the other kids texted him?" He asked, frowning at Burt slightly, wanting to understand the situation completely.
"Because he's having tea with Blaine's mother," Burt said, laughing softly and shaking his head. "Apparently, she's the head honcho of all this mob business, so Kurt didn't wanna tick her off. Only reason he answered for me is because he was afraid something was wrong."
Will blinked in surprise, least of which was at Burt's seemingly easy acceptance of Kurt having tea with a mobster's wife. "And you're okay with him having tea with the head honcho? Really?"
Burt looked at him, winking slightly. "How do you think they knew which car to be waiting at? Anthony told me this was gonna happen a week ago so I could sign a note letting him out of school early." Patting Will on the shoulder as he walked him to the door, Burt laughed. "Everybody's gotta meet the in-laws sometime, Schue."
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