what's the opposit of serendipity?
all i want to do now is cry, but i just can't.
so many things have entered my head and nothing i could put into writing.
it sucks finding out things by yourself. without the help of other people. it sucks to be kept in the dark. and it sucks even more to know that 1+1=2.
it sucks not having anyone to talk to, since the only other time that i've felt this way, he was one of the people i talked to. and now, i can't do that, because he's the problem.
now, how am i going to get some sleep? i'll be back to analyzing everything. and then reanalyzing it again. hello eyebags! hello pimples! hello to not arriving at work on time and not going to sister's birthday dinner to some fancy restaurant because of being late for work!
fuck! not even ken hirai can keep in a good mood. i need kylie. where's my kylie cd? damn it, i'll listen to it in my ipod. i hope it has enough battery life.
and you know what, all i need is for him to send me a message and i'll be fine. that's it.
okay, so now, i sent him a message. cause i am desperate. and i will feel even worse, since he will not respond.
and fuck, the boyfriend knows i checked his friendster page. fuck that! i'm so impatient kasi, eh. and why does friendster have to have its routine maintenance kanina? pakshet!
and right now, i'm soooo questioning his taste in men. ugh! the men he likes are fug. maybe i should find consolation in this. fuck, fuck, fuck!
ayan sumagot na. not the kind of response i was hoping for, but that's what i get for expecting too much.
shit! it's good that i don't have asthma attacks anymore. i'm having a hard time breathing thinking about all this shit.
and fuck! he brought him to my church. MY CHURCH! damn it! it's my turf and he brought his boyfriend (soon to be, back then, i think) to MY CHURCH. i should tell the guards at campy aguinaldo not to let that fucker in. but i'm afraid that would be pointless, he'll prolly just go to the church in ateneo. it's a st. ignatius church, too, anyway. we'll always have our paris(h hilltop). edit: when he brought his then "friend" to MY CHURCH, they were supposed to go to my house after and eat dinner, so i canceled my plans for that evening. and you know what happened? they never showed up. apparently, he got my message too late. fucktard. he should've called. but whatever. i'm the biggest loser. got that caroline rhea? i'm the biggest loser!
ok, i'm going to read my favorite book of all time, vanity fierce, and wallow in this crappy situation i'm in. it'll remind me why i'm like this. it'll remind how manipulative and cunning i could be. but most of all, it'll remind me that i will have a happy ending.
now, i have to get some rest.
p.s. dahil may pahabol. maneesh, labas daw tayo kasama ang jowa niyang duktor. you two could talk, daw. hindi ko ata kaya, 'to.
p.p.s. huling pahabol. you got me at wei. ang tarush! shet, hindi ko kinaya yan. tagal ko nang iniisip yan. at totoo yan. kasi unang message niya sa akin ay wei, nihao. hindi ako chinese, mokong ka, pero ayan, first message mo, h.p. na ako. wahaha! kasi una kitang na-site bago mo ako minessage. and as kylie would sing in 2002, it's love at first sight. charing!
p.p.s. huli na, pramis! like i said, all it takes is for him to chat me up (or in this case, respond to my chat message) and i'll be happy. or at least feel lighter. :o) hopefully, i could go to sleep and wake up early tomorrow later. good luck!
so many things have entered my head and nothing i could put into writing.
it sucks finding out things by yourself. without the help of other people. it sucks to be kept in the dark. and it sucks even more to know that 1+1=2.
it sucks not having anyone to talk to, since the only other time that i've felt this way, he was one of the people i talked to. and now, i can't do that, because he's the problem.
now, how am i going to get some sleep? i'll be back to analyzing everything. and then reanalyzing it again. hello eyebags! hello pimples! hello to not arriving at work on time and not going to sister's birthday dinner to some fancy restaurant because of being late for work!
fuck! not even ken hirai can keep in a good mood. i need kylie. where's my kylie cd? damn it, i'll listen to it in my ipod. i hope it has enough battery life.
and you know what, all i need is for him to send me a message and i'll be fine. that's it.
okay, so now, i sent him a message. cause i am desperate. and i will feel even worse, since he will not respond.
and fuck, the boyfriend knows i checked his friendster page. fuck that! i'm so impatient kasi, eh. and why does friendster have to have its routine maintenance kanina? pakshet!
and right now, i'm soooo questioning his taste in men. ugh! the men he likes are fug. maybe i should find consolation in this. fuck, fuck, fuck!
ayan sumagot na. not the kind of response i was hoping for, but that's what i get for expecting too much.
shit! it's good that i don't have asthma attacks anymore. i'm having a hard time breathing thinking about all this shit.
and fuck! he brought him to my church. MY CHURCH! damn it! it's my turf and he brought his boyfriend (soon to be, back then, i think) to MY CHURCH. i should tell the guards at campy aguinaldo not to let that fucker in. but i'm afraid that would be pointless, he'll prolly just go to the church in ateneo. it's a st. ignatius church, too, anyway. we'll always have our paris(h hilltop). edit: when he brought his then "friend" to MY CHURCH, they were supposed to go to my house after and eat dinner, so i canceled my plans for that evening. and you know what happened? they never showed up. apparently, he got my message too late. fucktard. he should've called. but whatever. i'm the biggest loser. got that caroline rhea? i'm the biggest loser!
ok, i'm going to read my favorite book of all time, vanity fierce, and wallow in this crappy situation i'm in. it'll remind me why i'm like this. it'll remind how manipulative and cunning i could be. but most of all, it'll remind me that i will have a happy ending.
now, i have to get some rest.
p.s. dahil may pahabol. maneesh, labas daw tayo kasama ang jowa niyang duktor. you two could talk, daw. hindi ko ata kaya, 'to.
p.p.s. huling pahabol. you got me at wei. ang tarush! shet, hindi ko kinaya yan. tagal ko nang iniisip yan. at totoo yan. kasi unang message niya sa akin ay wei, nihao. hindi ako chinese, mokong ka, pero ayan, first message mo, h.p. na ako. wahaha! kasi una kitang na-site bago mo ako minessage. and as kylie would sing in 2002, it's love at first sight. charing!
p.p.s. huli na, pramis! like i said, all it takes is for him to chat me up (or in this case, respond to my chat message) and i'll be happy. or at least feel lighter. :o) hopefully, i could go to sleep and wake up early tomorrow later. good luck!