Sold my soul for freedom…
It’s lonely but it’s sweet.
What people who work regular jobs - retail or at an office or wherever - and/or who work for someone else don’t realize what an uphill battle it is to work for yourself. I’m not saying this for pity or woe is me, but so that others can understand what it’s like.
I’ve learned a bunch of lessons over the past while that I feel the need to impart on anyone out there on the internets who cares to listen. These for the most part apply for everyone but I’m hoping they will also offer insights into “care and feeding of your artist/entrepreneur/etc”
1) You’re the only person who gets a say in your fate, at the end of the day. Your boss, your partner, your parents, your friends… They don’t matter as much as you should matter to yourself. People are selfish and fickle when you least expect them to be. You’re not living their life, you’re living your life. You can get advice from anywhere and everywhere, but don’t let it ru(i)n the way you want to live.
2) Say no to anything that doesn’t serve you. This goes with point one above. If you’re not getting something out of it, why are you doing it? This one took me way too long to learn. It’s okay to start saying no even if you’ve said yes in the past. And for gods sakes, trust your gut on this one. If you get an icky bad feeling about something, don’t keep pushing on ahead.
3) When you work for yourself, be prepared to sacrifice. This goes for acting, painting, filmmaking, dancing, running your own business, anything. You sacrifice sleep, social time, sometimes romantic relationships, often times money, and in order to be successful sometimes you have to sacrifice everything that doesn’t 100% relate to your goals. There will be fires to put out. There will be things that come up last minute that only you can deal with. Nobody else is going to handle them or have a key role in your success/failure. Only you. And sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you have to miss friends’ things. Sometimes they understand. Sometimes they don’t.
4) Don’t let yourself hermit, either. Socializing via Facebook or text isn’t the same as putting on pants and getting outside and seeing people face to face. It’s okay if you can’t do it all the time. But never go more than three days without showering and going outside. Sometimes getting clean and dressed can make you feel worlds better when you didn’t even know you were unhappy.
5) Money can be complicated. However, you should always know your value and be prepared to assert your right to it. You should be more afraid of undercharging than of overcharging, because most times things are going to take longer and be more complicated than you anticipate, especially when you are just starting out. You deserve to be paid fairly for your time and talents, and for all the blood sweat and tears you put in. Trust me, out of the three there will (at least) be tears.
6) Your past is your best insight for your future. Maybe not “the best”, but your past can instruct you in two key ways: mistakes you don’t want to make again, and who you used to be. Chances are your childhood dreams, likes, and wants are more in line with your current self and your ultimate goals than you realize. Your inner child is precious and should be nurtured.
7) You don’t get to keep everyone that makes an impression on your heart. Like the quote from “Eat, Pray, Love”: “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
But it’s still better to take that chance than wonder what if.
8) Lonely and alone are not the same things. Cherish your time alone, and if you feel lonely, figure out what’s underneath it. Being able to be alone and function on your own is one of the makings of a strong person.
9) Know what you stand for, and be prepared to fight for your values. Some people are worth convincing, some people aren’t. If someone doesn’t respect you enough to be honest with you in a positive, open way that encourages growth (from both parties)…. Fuck ‘em. See: people are selfish, and knowing what you’re worth. People will try to shame, blame, belittle, guilt, threaten, and more when they are small-minded. These people aren’t worth keeping around; don’t get caught in their web.
Having someone hate you because you’re brave enough to stand up for yourself and what you value is way better than having someone fake-like you because you are too afraid to express a controversial opinion. This also frees up your time/focus/energy/love for the people who genuinely love and respect you.
10) Tell it like it is. You don’t have to be overly forceful or cruel, but life is too short for bullshit. Be honest. Don’t be afraid to call bullshit when you see or hear something that stinks - a person as brave and smart as you will step up to the challenge rather than perpetuate more bullshit.
11) Brazen, wild women who dare to be open, honest, outspoken, and chase their dream are NOT bitches or “crazy”, no matter how society may want to label them. They are the last vestiges of long-forgotten ways, and with any luck and a lot of hard work, they’ll be the ones to bring the world back to how it should be run. See: people who are small-minded, when it comes to those who try to silence them.
More to come later, loves.
What people who work regular jobs - retail or at an office or wherever - and/or who work for someone else don’t realize what an uphill battle it is to work for yourself. I’m not saying this for pity or woe is me, but so that others can understand what it’s like.
I’ve learned a bunch of lessons over the past while that I feel the need to impart on anyone out there on the internets who cares to listen. These for the most part apply for everyone but I’m hoping they will also offer insights into “care and feeding of your artist/entrepreneur/etc”
1) You’re the only person who gets a say in your fate, at the end of the day. Your boss, your partner, your parents, your friends… They don’t matter as much as you should matter to yourself. People are selfish and fickle when you least expect them to be. You’re not living their life, you’re living your life. You can get advice from anywhere and everywhere, but don’t let it ru(i)n the way you want to live.
2) Say no to anything that doesn’t serve you. This goes with point one above. If you’re not getting something out of it, why are you doing it? This one took me way too long to learn. It’s okay to start saying no even if you’ve said yes in the past. And for gods sakes, trust your gut on this one. If you get an icky bad feeling about something, don’t keep pushing on ahead.
3) When you work for yourself, be prepared to sacrifice. This goes for acting, painting, filmmaking, dancing, running your own business, anything. You sacrifice sleep, social time, sometimes romantic relationships, often times money, and in order to be successful sometimes you have to sacrifice everything that doesn’t 100% relate to your goals. There will be fires to put out. There will be things that come up last minute that only you can deal with. Nobody else is going to handle them or have a key role in your success/failure. Only you. And sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you have to miss friends’ things. Sometimes they understand. Sometimes they don’t.
4) Don’t let yourself hermit, either. Socializing via Facebook or text isn’t the same as putting on pants and getting outside and seeing people face to face. It’s okay if you can’t do it all the time. But never go more than three days without showering and going outside. Sometimes getting clean and dressed can make you feel worlds better when you didn’t even know you were unhappy.
5) Money can be complicated. However, you should always know your value and be prepared to assert your right to it. You should be more afraid of undercharging than of overcharging, because most times things are going to take longer and be more complicated than you anticipate, especially when you are just starting out. You deserve to be paid fairly for your time and talents, and for all the blood sweat and tears you put in. Trust me, out of the three there will (at least) be tears.
6) Your past is your best insight for your future. Maybe not “the best”, but your past can instruct you in two key ways: mistakes you don’t want to make again, and who you used to be. Chances are your childhood dreams, likes, and wants are more in line with your current self and your ultimate goals than you realize. Your inner child is precious and should be nurtured.
7) You don’t get to keep everyone that makes an impression on your heart. Like the quote from “Eat, Pray, Love”: “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
But it’s still better to take that chance than wonder what if.
8) Lonely and alone are not the same things. Cherish your time alone, and if you feel lonely, figure out what’s underneath it. Being able to be alone and function on your own is one of the makings of a strong person.
9) Know what you stand for, and be prepared to fight for your values. Some people are worth convincing, some people aren’t. If someone doesn’t respect you enough to be honest with you in a positive, open way that encourages growth (from both parties)…. Fuck ‘em. See: people are selfish, and knowing what you’re worth. People will try to shame, blame, belittle, guilt, threaten, and more when they are small-minded. These people aren’t worth keeping around; don’t get caught in their web.
Having someone hate you because you’re brave enough to stand up for yourself and what you value is way better than having someone fake-like you because you are too afraid to express a controversial opinion. This also frees up your time/focus/energy/love for the people who genuinely love and respect you.
10) Tell it like it is. You don’t have to be overly forceful or cruel, but life is too short for bullshit. Be honest. Don’t be afraid to call bullshit when you see or hear something that stinks - a person as brave and smart as you will step up to the challenge rather than perpetuate more bullshit.
11) Brazen, wild women who dare to be open, honest, outspoken, and chase their dream are NOT bitches or “crazy”, no matter how society may want to label them. They are the last vestiges of long-forgotten ways, and with any luck and a lot of hard work, they’ll be the ones to bring the world back to how it should be run. See: people who are small-minded, when it comes to those who try to silence them.
More to come later, loves.