misshepeshu, I'm posting this largely for your amusement.
t.: btw, if you want to read some hilariously unabashed bullshit on your summer vacation
my awesome, very dry-witted cousin decided to loan me her favorite romance novel for the trip home, after telling me that she was writing one herself
m.: cool
t.: her recommendation was: "this is the trash to which i aspire"
omg, the HILARIOUS BULLSHIT, it was amazingly grate
m.: ha, that's awesome
t.: http://www.amazon.com/Windflower-Laura-London/dp/0440195349
m.: I love how audacious romance novelists get to be.
t.: it's a historical romance set in 1813
m.: wow, the cover alone
t.: in which a young virginian sister/cousin of patriots
gets kidnapped by pirates
m.: oh god
I am reading the amazon reviews
t.: three of whom turn out to be british nobility
and NOBODY RAVISHES HER
m.: hahahahaha
t.: seriously, two weeks into the kidnapping
the crew has adopted her
and loaned her britches
m.: I love it
t.: and is teaching her how to fire canons -- thank god the author doesn't actually make her a pirate in the end
m.: it's like Pirates of penzanze
t.: and even the hero, who is supposed to ravish her
keeps stopping after they round second
my god, m.
m.: "these are not members of the common throng / they are all noble men who have gone wrong!"
hee
t.: she stays a virgin until she gets married to him!
there are the most AMAZING 80's pop-psych anachronisms periodically dropped in there
m.: oh MAN
t.: it's like watching a period film with the spit-curled side ponytail
m.: hahahaha
AMAZING.
t.: you actually have one pirate silently muse about another pirate's dearth of positive relationships with women!
that was where i lost it.
badly.
in summary: my girly metaphors could be worse.
m.: like, he never had a good relationship with his mother?
clearly!
t.: no, like
with every woman ever hurling herself panting down his pants
he didn't bother to have meaningful, balanced relationships
with the women he was fucking!
outside of the marriage bed!
in 1813!
while a dissipated british noble and a GODDAMN PIRATE!
m.: oh my goodness.
I give it so many stars.
t.: seriously, it's worth reading if you can find it
you will kill an afternoon laughing your ass off
and that's even before she gets malaria
m.: ahahaha
fabulous.
Seriously, guys: it's everything you hope, and more.
my awesome, very dry-witted cousin decided to loan me her favorite romance novel for the trip home, after telling me that she was writing one herself
m.: cool
t.: her recommendation was: "this is the trash to which i aspire"
omg, the HILARIOUS BULLSHIT, it was amazingly grate
m.: ha, that's awesome
t.: http://www.amazon.com/Windflower-Laura-London/dp/0440195349
m.: I love how audacious romance novelists get to be.
t.: it's a historical romance set in 1813
m.: wow, the cover alone
t.: in which a young virginian sister/cousin of patriots
gets kidnapped by pirates
m.: oh god
I am reading the amazon reviews
t.: three of whom turn out to be british nobility
and NOBODY RAVISHES HER
m.: hahahahaha
t.: seriously, two weeks into the kidnapping
the crew has adopted her
and loaned her britches
m.: I love it
t.: and is teaching her how to fire canons -- thank god the author doesn't actually make her a pirate in the end
m.: it's like Pirates of penzanze
t.: and even the hero, who is supposed to ravish her
keeps stopping after they round second
my god, m.
m.: "these are not members of the common throng / they are all noble men who have gone wrong!"
hee
t.: she stays a virgin until she gets married to him!
there are the most AMAZING 80's pop-psych anachronisms periodically dropped in there
m.: oh MAN
t.: it's like watching a period film with the spit-curled side ponytail
m.: hahahaha
AMAZING.
t.: you actually have one pirate silently muse about another pirate's dearth of positive relationships with women!
that was where i lost it.
badly.
in summary: my girly metaphors could be worse.
m.: like, he never had a good relationship with his mother?
clearly!
t.: no, like
with every woman ever hurling herself panting down his pants
he didn't bother to have meaningful, balanced relationships
with the women he was fucking!
outside of the marriage bed!
in 1813!
while a dissipated british noble and a GODDAMN PIRATE!
m.: oh my goodness.
I give it so many stars.
t.: seriously, it's worth reading if you can find it
you will kill an afternoon laughing your ass off
and that's even before she gets malaria
m.: ahahaha
fabulous.
Seriously, guys: it's everything you hope, and more.