SPN DCBB14: Worlds That Never Were (Chapter 5/5)

[the_diggler]

Worlds That Never Were ~ Chapter 5

Please see the fic masterpost for warnings and other information.





The first time Castiel disobeyed his family was for Dean Winchester.

Of course, by then Castiel already had his doubts.

He’d spent much time with the Winchesters. After saving Dean from The Pit, Michael had ordered Castiel to stay with the brothers, to keep them out of enemy hands, even though they refused to ally themselves with Michael’s movement. Though Lucifer coveted Sam’s abilities, Dean’s powers could be just as dangerous in the wrong hands, aside from the fact he could be used as a way to manipulate Sam. They did not know at the time that it was Michael himself who wished to manipulate Sam. That he ordered Dean to be saved from The Pit so that Dean could be killed at his own convenience, and not anyone else’s.

But the more time Castiel spent at the brothers’ side, the more he learned about the Winchesters as people, underneath the threat of their dangerous abilities. The Winchesters were good people. They didn’t believe they were superior to humans, like Michael did. They just wanted to live freely. And they used their powers to help others. So Castiel began to doubt what he had learned from his family.

And then there was Ruby.

Lucifer couldn’t get to the brothers while Castiel was with them, so he did the next best thing and sent her instead. Of course, Castiel suspected her motives from the beginning, but strangely enough, Michael ordered him not to interfere in the relationship. Later they realized Michael was hoping that when Lucifer finally made his move, Sam would react like he had in the past, with his mother and Jess – that Sam would lose control when one of his loved ones was threatened.

That’s when Michael came for Dean. But by then, Castiel had seen enough to believe Dean’s way was better. So he disobeyed. Fell from grace. He helped Dean escape. And they got to Sam before Lucifer managed to cause too much destruction.

Maybe, by then, he already knew he’d begun to fall a little bit in love. With humanity, freedom – Dean had already shown him so many things, and there was still so much more.

But it all ends, the morning after that first night together in the abandoned house. Of course Michael would’ve waited until then. Waited until he was sure that the bond between them was strong enough to use against them. Ruby hadn’t been enough to produce the desired effect from Sam. That left only Dean. And Michael was going to use Castiel to get to him.

If Castiel had only known, he would never have allowed himself to get close to Dean. He would have stayed far, far away. But how was Castiel to have known? Michael had many, many powerful mutants amongst his faction. Even Castiel did not know of them all. And how was he supposed to know of one who could enter and control his mind, if any memory of it was erased afterwards?

How was Castiel supposed to know that he had been Naomi’s puppet from the beginning?

But when he finds himself teleporting Dean to one of Lucifer’s old hideouts in Lincoln Springs, against all will and volition, Castiel knows. He suddenly remembers the too-bright office, seemingly existing in its own time and reality, and all the reports he made, all the commands he was given. And then when he began to doubt, to rebel, the countless hours of agonizing torment, strapped to a chair for what Naomi called his ‘re-programming.’ And finally, he remembers training in a large warehouse while Naomi observed unseen, killing Dean over and over again in a hundred different ways, until the act became nothing to his hands.

But they’re not in that strange un-reality anymore. The crypt is very real. And it’s the real Dean that stands in front of him. And it’s with horror that Castiel finds himself attacking, lunging for Dean the way he’s been trained to, as soon as Naomi gives the order.

Her ‘programming’ is too strong, the brainwashing too ingrained, he can’t resist the power of her commands no matter how hard he tries. He flies around Dean, teleporting in and out and landing hard and heavy blows no matter how Dean begs Castiel to tell him why he’s doing this, pleading with Castiel to stop.

Dean can barely defend himself, though Castiel knows Dean is a more than capable fighter. Castiel can feel the waves of neutralizing fields he sends out, trying to prevent Castiel from using his abilities, but to no avail. Dean’s powers are failing him, completely destabilized by Castiel’s seeming betrayal. Castiel didn’t know until then just how much he meant to Dean, that he could affect Dean so, but now the knowledge makes him want to scream and rail and tear himself apart with his own hands.

“What have you done to me, Naomi?” Castiel chokes out, hunching over in pain as she screams in his head.

“Who’s Naomi?” he hears Dean say from a distance, but he sees Dean putting the pieces together. The existence of mutants with ‘puppet-master’ type abilities is common knowledge, considered by some to be more powerful and dangerous than those who can manipulate and affect other mutants’ powers. But the realization comes too late. Dean is already weakened and bloody, and Naomi is still screaming, telling Castiel that this is what he trained for, this is what they sent him for, this is what they meant Castiel to do all along – kill him!

And Castiel knows it isn’t right. The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt Dean, and yet that’s exactly what he’s done. He begins to wonder if anything he felt was real at all, or if he was just obeying Naomi’s commands.

But then Castiel hears what Dean’s saying, over and over again. “Cas… This isn’t you. This isn’t you.”

Naomi screams louder and Castiel raises his arm for the final blow.

“Cas, I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me,” Dean pleads. “Cas, it’s me. We’re family. We need you. I need you.”

Castiel dreams of a world where he doesn’t kill Dean then. Because at the last moment Dean surges forward and kisses him.

He dreams of a world where he doesn’t take Dean’s body to Stull Cemetery on Naomi’s orders, and lay him at Michael’s feet for Sam to see.

He dreams of a world that Sam doesn’t destroy.



“No… No…” Dean stammers, shaking his head in confusion. “I kissed you then! I kissed you, and it broke Naomi’s hold on you! You couldn’t even wait for me to stop kissing you before you got us out of there!”

“No,” Castiel replies quietly, frowning. “There was no kiss. I killed you.”

Dean reels back in shock, breath rushing out of him like a punch to the gut, any hope he had left shattering inside him, breaking apart in his chest.

“Are you under mind-control now?” he grinds out.

“No…”

“Then why the hell are you still working for them?” he hisses.

“They would still be able to find me if I tried to leave,” Castiel rushes to explain. “And I told you, Sam's here now.”

“He shouldn’t be here in the first place!” Dean yells.

“I know,” Castiel deflates, slumping in on himself with remorse. “I know.”

“Get out,” Dean growls, turning away. He can’t even look at this Castiel. This mockery of the man he knew and loved.

“Dean, I’m so sor--”

“Get out!” he screams before Castiel can finish. He doesn’t want to hear it. No amount of apologizing can fix this… this complete betrayal.

He barely hears Castiel leaving the cell, staring unseeing at the walls, fighting the urge to scream and beat against them until his knuckles are raw and bloody. Just to feel anything other than this.



This time Dean knows he’s dreaming.

He’s only been here once, but apparently once was enough to make all the difference.

He would wake himself up if he could, but he can’t. He sure as hell doesn’t want to be here, on his knees, bloody and bruised, heart breaking, in Lucifer’s crypt.

“Cas… This isn’t you. This isn’t you,” he says, over and over again. Though he doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince – Cas or himself. But he refuses to believe it was all a lie, that Cas played him from the start.

It was more than that. Cas is family. They need him. Dean needs him. Dean

Dean hesitates. Just for a moment. Doubt overwhelms him.

Maybe it was all just a lie.

He’s just so tired of fighting. And he hurts. All over. He’s so tired of having all the things he cares about taken away from him.

In another world, Dean finds the strength to pull himself together. Picks himself off the ground to fight one more time for what he loves.

But not in this world.



“Benny,” he says into the dark of his cell. “Hey, Benny, you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” comes the reply. “You okay?”

“Did you hear all that? Earlier?”

“Yeah, I heard it,” Benny sighs.

Dean drops his head into his hands. “He killed me, Benny.” He huffs a bitter laugh. “I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?”

Castiel killed him. Castiel killed him. Dean should’ve strangled him before he had the chance to leave Dean’s cell.

“I don’t know what to tell you, brother,” Benny says. “I don’t know how you come back from a thing like that.”

“I’m pretty sure no one’s come back from that, Benny.” Dean huffs another low chuckle.

“True. It’s a pretty unique situation you’re in. It’s not everyday someone comes back from the dead, so to speak,” Benny says. “But I gotta tell you, Dean. If I were in your shoes, and I had another chance with Andrea? It wouldn’t matter what happened between us, or how different she was… I would do anything to get her back, Dean. Anything. And if by some dumb chance she would take me? I’d never let her go again.”

“Benny…” Dean sighs. He knows where Benny’s coming from. He can feel Benny’s grief rolling off him in waves.

“It was my fault, Dean,” Benny chokes out. “If I’d just gone with her, maybe I could’ve kept her safe.”

Dean doesn’t know what to say to that. He wants to reassure Benny. Tell him it’s not his fault, and there’s nothing he could’ve done. But Dean knows now how different choices have different consequences.

“Or maybe I’d have died with her, I don’t know. But at least maybe then my last words to her wouldn’t have been in anger,” Benny adds quietly, overcome with remorse.

Dean can’t help but think about his last words to Castiel, his anger at him. And he wonders if Castiel feels the kind of regret Benny is bleeding now out of his entire being.

He can’t help but think it’s no wonder the Castiel in this world is so closed off now, having to carry the guilt of killing someone he loved. Even though he was under mind-control at the time.

And it must be so much worse now, to know that in a different world, he didn’t.

All because of one kiss.

Dean doesn’t know why it was the kiss that made the difference. Maybe the physical contact was enough to break Naomi’s hold. Or maybe it was something more, something that gave Cas the strength to fight. But he’s starting to wonder if maybe it wasn’t entirely Castiel’s fault that things ended up the way they did.

Dean wants to be angry at him. But in the face of Benny’s remorse, Dean just aches for him.

“Let me ask you something, Dean,” Benny finally speaks again. “You already lost him once. Do you really think you can just let him go again?”



The next time Dean wakes, it’s to an explosion, powerful enough to rock the entire building and shake him right out of his cot. The alarm goes off, closely followed by the sound of shouting and gunfire echoing through the corridors, then with a buzz and a clang, all the cell-doors open. Dean stares at the door for a moment in confusion, until he hears a much closer round of gunfire and shouting, and the familiar buzzing of shock-rods and tasers, right outside.

He carefully peers out the door of his cell, assessing the situation, and sees some of his fellow inmates trying to overpower the guards at the cell-block entrance. One of the guards is knocked unconscious, and his shock-rod goes sprawling across the floor towards Dean’s door. Dean rolls out into the hallway to grab it, before charging into the fray. He takes down one guard, then two, before another one manages to blindside him, knocking the shock-rod out of his hand and pinning him to the ground. He struggles against the guard, trying to avoid his mean-looking fangs, but then all of a sudden, something barrels into the guard from the side, knocking him off Dean. When he looks around, he sees Benny on top of the guard, slicing him through the neck with something that looks like sharpened bone.

“Jesus Christ, Benny. Where did you get that thing?” Dean gasps, climbing to his feet.

Benny rolls his neck, surveying the dead and unconscious bodies around them, both prisoners and guards. “One of the guards was throwing these things out of his arms,” he explains. “Picked up the power when I took him down.”

“So no more telepathy?” Dean asks.

“Nope,” Benny shakes his head.

“Dammit,” Dean curses. “That could’ve been a handy power to have right now.”

“Sorry, brother. You know how it works. One power at a time,” Benny says. “Not that I really had any control over that telepathy thing anyway,” he shrugs.

Dean looks at Benny properly then, a wide grin breaking out on his face. Benny returns the grin, eyes crinkling at the corners, as he steps towards Dean.

“It’s good to see you, man,” Dean says, clapping Benny on the back as they hug. Having Benny in his head from a cell across the hall just wasn’t the same thing.

“You too, brother,” Benny replies. “But, uh… You wouldn’t happen to have any idea what’s goin’ on, would you?” he asks when he steps back.

“Prison break?” Dean shrugs. When Castiel told Dean he would get them out, Dean was expecting something clandestine, a quiet escape under the cover of night to give them a head start before the alarm sounded. He wasn’t expecting an all-out attack on the facility in the middle of the day. But… “It’s as good a time as any.”

“I hear that,” Benny agrees. “So what’s the plan?”

Dean considers the options as he searches the bodies for more weapons. Castiel never gave him any explicit instructions, so he’s just going to have to assume the plan is the same as always. “Find Cas. Get to Sam,” Dean replies, lifting a gun from one of the soldiers.

“Okay then,” Benny nods, taking it all in stride, as always. “Lead the way.”

“Hey, you got one of those for me?” Dean asks, nodding at Benny’s knife.

“Sure thing, chief,” Benny replies. Dean watches in fascination as something starts to grow out of Benny’s wrist, tapered and sharp, popping out at just under a foot long.

“Huh,” Dean grunts when Benny hands it to him. “Awesome.”

He leads Benny out of the cellblock, grateful to have the man at his back. If this Benny really is anything like the Benny from Dean’s world, he knows he can trust the man with his life.

Luckily for them, it seems all the doors have been unlocked, not just in the cellblocks, and Dean wonders if Charlie had anything to do with that. As he heads toward Castiel’s lab, the sounds of fighting seem to be moving further and further away as well, and Dean wonders if that’s been planned also. It all seems a bit too easy so far, like the fighting is just a convenient distraction. They barely run into any more guards, their numbers so minimal they’re easy to pick off one by one.

Finally they get to Castiel’s lab. But when they step through the door, it’s not Castiel’s lab at all. It’s an entirely different room, beautiful and white, with gold filigree and oil paintings on the walls.

“What the…” Dean looks around in confusion.

“Dean?” Benny echoes his confusion. “What is this?”

Dean grits his teeth. He knows what this is. He knows exactly what this is. The last time he was here, Ruby was delivering his brother to Lucifer, and Michael had him captured for “safe-keeping.” It was also the first time Cas rebelled against his family for Dean, and helped him escape.

“Dean, Dean, Dean,” Zachariah sneers from behind him. “You know, I had a feeling it was really you. But Castiel’s been such a good little soldier, everyone believed him when he said he killed you. I knew better, though. And the fact that you came here first just gave the two of you away.” Zachariah snorts. “So predictable.”

"Actually, Cas did kill me. Well, your Dean anyway. I’m a different Dean, from a parallel world. One where I already killed you," Dean smirks. "And let me tell you, man. If you think I’m predictable? Well, so are you," he growls, whipping around and shoving his knife right up through Zachariah’s jaw, just where he knew the man would be.

Zachariah’s eyes go wide with shock, and the beautiful room flickers around him, the illusion dying with him. By the time his body hits the ground, they’re in Castiel’s lab again.

“Definitely worth doing a second time around,” Dean mutters with grim satisfaction.

“Dean, we need to keep moving,” Benny says.

“Okay,” Dean nods, pulling himself together. Castiel isn’t here, and Dean has no idea where else to look for him… except the only other room Dean’s been to.

“This way,” Dean says, leading Benny towards the basement. He hopes the whole point of Castiel escorting him through the halls that night they went to see Sam, instead of just teleporting there, was for this – so Dean would know the way on his own. Castiel better be there.

But when they get to the elevator, they run into problems again.

They quickly duck behind a corner for cover, Dean shooting at the guards down the other end of the hall with the gun he picked up earlier, Benny throwing projectile bones at them from his wrists. It’s not going to hold them off for long though. They have limited ammo, and Dean can hear one of the guards calling for back-up.

“It’s not looking good, brother!” Benny yells over the gunfire, and Dean growls. It’s times like this that he really wishes he had more active powers. Something like telekinesis, so he’d be able to stop the bullets in mid-air, or warp the guards’ guns with the power of his mind. Hell, he’d even take the power of flight right now, just for the element of surprise.

But then, just when Dean’s down to the end of his clip, he hears the guard yell, “Commander!” And his stomach leaps with hope.

“Cas!” he yells over the gunfire.

The next thing he hears is the sound of a shock-rod, followed by the sound of the guards hitting the ground. And then, “Dean,” Castiel calls out.

“Cas,” Dean exhales in relief, coming out from behind the corner to meet him. For a second it feels like old times – together in the thick of it, Cas coming to his rescue… Dean doesn’t even realize the way he’s smiling at the other man until Castiel returns it with a reminiscent look of his own.

Somewhere behind them the elevator dings open, breaking the moment. Dean clears his throat awkwardly as he hustles inside.

“Benny,” Castiel greets as he steps into the elevator after Dean.

“Hola,” Benny nods, following after him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner,” Castiel tells them when the elevator starts moving. “I’ve been trying to lead most of the fighting away from here,” he explains.

“I figured,” Dean nods. “So what’s the plan now?”

“Now, we get to Sam,” Castiel answers.

“Okay,” Dean agrees. And he doesn’t realize he’s smiling again until he hears Benny mutter a “merde” under his breath, rolling his eyes at them.

Dean shakes it off as they approach the basement floor, getting his head in the game again. But when the elevator door opens, there’s a woman already standing there in the hallway, waiting to get onto the lift. Castiel steps in front of Dean, trying to shield him from her view.

“Commander!” the woman snaps to attention. “The dampening barrier is down, and Crowley’s forces have breached the perimeter. We’ve lost Josiah, Ezra, and Oren--” she gasps, finally noticing Benny and Dean and pulling out a shock-rod.

“Stand down, Hannah,” Castiel orders.

“But Commander, is that really Dean Winchester?” she gasps, wide-eyed.

“Yes, it is,” Castiel sighs.

“That’s why they’re attacking, isn’t it?” she glares.

“Yes, it is,” Castiel replies reluctantly.

“Then you should kill him!” she yells, wild-eyed.

“No,” Castiel says. And in the next blink of an eye he’s standing behind Hannah, knocking her out with his own shock-rod. “Not this time,” he says.

When Castiel meets Dean’s eyes then, it feels like he releases a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding – a breath he’d been holding for far too long. He still doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to forgive this Castiel for killing him, or how the two of them will ever be able to move forward, but he’s starting to think he wants to try.

“How touching,” a sneering voice interrupts the moment, all too smarmy and smug and familiar.

“Crowley,” Dean growls as the man himself rounds the corner, exactly the same as he was in Dean’s world.

“Hullo, boys,” Crowley leers in greeting. He’s flanked by two other men, one prisoner and one mutant. The mutant obviously has shape manipulation abilities, judging by the nasty-looking blade where his hand should be. It looks like it’s made of bone, but it’s far from the kind of bone Benny’s been shooting out of his wrists. Benny’s bones are bleach white, newly made. But this guy’s blade looks old, scarred and dark, like it’s been stained with blood over and over. Not to mention, it’s as big as a scythe.

The prisoner with them doesn't have an immediately obvious mutation. He’s a little older, the thick beard on his face full of white, but even though he appears far less dangerous than the other mutant, Dean knows if he’s with Crowley that may not be the case.

“Well, Castiel, I’ve got mine,” he says indicating the prisoner. “Have you got yours?”

“Follow me,” Castiel says, and Dean’s gut sinks. He just knows Crowley’s referring to Sam.

“Cas,” Dean hisses as they head down the hallway towards Sam’s room. “Crowley?” he asks disbelievingly. “Every time we have ever dealt with him we ended up screwed!” And if the people in this world are essentially the same as the people of his own, then the Crowley of this world is probably just as much of an ass-hat as the Crowley of his own, and Dean knows that whatever kind of deal Castiel’s made with him isn’t going to end well.

“I did what I had to,” Castiel replies as he opens the door to Sam’s room, and Dean feels his chest tightening with the hurt of betrayal again.

He doesn’t get the chance to grill Castiel any further though, because the next moment there’s a flash of lighting, illuminating a figure already waiting for them in the room.

“Well, well, Castiel. I thought I might find you here eventually.”

“Raphael,” Castiel growls, and Dean balks in surprise, because the Raphael he knows is a man, not a woman.

“That’s Raphael?” Dean says under his breath. “Dude looks like a lady.”

Raphael glares at him. “I certainly haven’t missed your lack of wit, these past years.”

“Right back at ‘ya,” Dean snipes.

Raphael sighs, arching an eyebrow at Castiel. “So this was your plan? Have Crowley’s mutants distract the guards, and destroy the dampening perimeter so you can teleport the Winchesters out?”

Castiel doesn’t reply, glaring silently at Raphael.

“And for what, Castiel?” Raphael sneers. “Do you really think he’ll forgive you for your part in all this? Love you?”

Castiel still doesn’t say anything, but Dean can see the way Raphael’s words affect him by the hard clench of his jaw, and the way he grips the rail of Sam’s bed in his fists, knuckles going white.

“And what do you get out of this, Crowley?” Raphael asks, turning his attention to the red-skinned mutant.

“Who me?” Crowley smirks. “Well, the Commander here has promised to loan me Winchester the Younger to help take care of a little problem I’m having.”

“I see. And how exactly do you intend to use Sam Winchester’s power while he’s still in this state?” Raphael scoffs.

“Well, Mr. Comatose isn’t the only one I came here for,” Crowley says, glancing at the prisoner he came with.

“Yes,” Castiel jumps in suddenly, stiffly reaching out to the bearded man and pulling him forward. Dean raises a suspicious eyebrow. He knows Cas’ poker face. It’s terrible, and that’s it right there.

“You see, it seems that this man is a conduit,” Castiel explains. “Which means he can transfer powers from one mutant, to another,” he says, giving the man a pointed look, before tilting his head towards Sam’s bed.

“Wait, no!” Raphael gasps, but it’s too late. All the man has to do is reach forward to touch Sam’s leg, and a glow begins to emanate from the contact, all the way through the man to where Castiel is holding onto his arm, until it engulfs Castiel completely. Castiel turns to Raphael then, and with a snap of his fingers, Raphael explodes.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean breathes, blinking at the empty space where Raphael was standing.

“Thank you, Cain,” Castiel says, the light around him dimming as he lets go of the man’s arm.

“What did you do, Cas?” Dean gapes.

“With the power boost from Sam, I was able to externally open a portal… inside Raphael,” Castiel smirks.

“Holy crap,” Dean grins.

“Yes, yes, this is all very interesting, I’m sure,” Crowley interrupts. “But can we get the hell out of here, please?”

“Yes, of course,” Castiel replies, turning serious again. “Everyone please hold on to each other,” he says, reaching out for Cain again.

Dean reaches out to take Castiel’s hand, and Castiel’s startles at the touch, whipping around to look at Dean.

“Let’s get out of here,” Dean smiles, squeezing Castiel’s fingers, and Castiel returns the gesture, a small smile forming on his lips.

In the next blink of an eye, they’re gone.



They arrive in the basement of some kind of abandoned building. The old kind, made of brick and arched windows, exposed piping everywhere. With the extra power, Castiel not only manages to teleport all of them at once, but all of Sam’s monitoring equipment as well, and his brother lands safely in his bed.

Castiel lets go of Dean’s hand, rushing forward to reconnect Sam’s equipment to nearby power-points. As he works, Dean steps closer to the bed, looking down at his brother. He still doesn’t like that Castiel has used his brother as some kind of bargaining chip for Crowley’s help, but that’s something they’re just going to have to hash out later. At least for now, they aren’t prisoners anymore, and Dean’s grateful for that. Castiel even killed Raphael to get them out, and that has to count for something.

Castiel finally joins Dean by Sam’s bedside, looking down at his sleeping brother. Dean reaches out to cover Castiel’s hand where it’s resting on the rail.

“You did it, Cas. You got us out,” Dean says, squeezing his fingers. “Thank you.”

Castiel turns to look at him, smiling softly at him in return.

“You’re welcome, Dean,” he murmurs in reply, and Dean is surprised to feel Castiel’s breath on his lips when he says it.

He doesn’t know how he ended up so close to Castiel, but at the same time it just feels right, like that familiar, inevitable pull of gravity that always seems to bring them together. His pulse suddenly pounding in his ears, he can’t stop himself from leaning closer, and closer

And then the world explodes around him.

Dean blinks dazedly at Castiel, his ears ringing. For a second he thinks that must’ve been one hell of a kiss, but then his vision clears, and he sees the frantic worry on Castiel’s face, the way Castiel’s lips keep moving, like he’s yelling something, but Dean can’t hear.

A few more moments and Dean’s realizes he’s lying in a pile of rubble with Castiel crouched over him, one of the walls of the warehouse completely exploded inward.

“Dean! Dean, are you alright?” he finally hears Castiel yelling at him, and feels Castiel lightly slapping his face. Dean groans, pushing himself up to survey the damage, but as Castiel leans back to give Dean space, he hisses in pain, hand going to his side.

Dean’s heart stops when he sees the pipe sticking out of Castiel’s body, the dark red stain quickly seeping into Castiel’s clothes from the wound.

“No… No, Cas!” Dean gasps, hands hovering over the wound in horror.

It’s fatal. He’s seen enough injuries in his life to know. And it’s not the kind of thing he can heal with his powers. He has to get Castiel to a hospital.

Dean looks around wildly, taking in the situation and hoping to find someone to help him. Nearby, Cain is pulling the man with the bladed hand out from under the rubble. Further away, Sam’s bed has been overturned by the explosion, but Benny is already pulling him out from underneath it. Benny quickly checks Sam over before finding Dean and nodding, silently confirming that Sam’s okay.

But then Benny’s gaze sharpens on another point in the room, and Dean looks up to see a woman stepping through the exploded wall, a tall red-head who walks with the kind of confidence that indicates a great deal of power.

“Hullo, darling,” Crowley jeers from the other side of the alcove, and the next moment a slew of dog-like beasts rip forward into existence around him, growling and snapping at the woman.

Grinning, the woman raises her hand, and with a flick of her wrist, Crowley’s hellhounds are eviscerated in a bright flash of light.

“Bollocks,” Crowley grumbles.

“Right now, you and I are going to talk about a regime change,” she sneers at him.

“Who the hell is that?” Dean hisses at Cain.

“Abaddon,” Cain growls lowly in reply.

“Cain,” the woman says, her attention drawn by their exchance and her eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise. “What a fortunate surprise.”

Cain glares at her silently, in a way that tells Dean there’s some seriously bad blood between the two.

“What do you say, lover?” she grins. “Come back to us. Come back to me.”

“I told you, Abaddon. I’m done,” Cain snaps at her.

“Then what are you doing here? With him?” she grits out, narrowing her eyes at Crowley.

And that’s when she sees Sam.

“Is that who I think it is?” she says, eyes widening in shock.

Dean feels his gut slowly sinking as the surprise in her eyes turns into understanding, piecing together Cain’s presence with his brother, and what Crowley intends to use him for.

“Well we can’t have that, can we?” she says, and with another flick of her wrist, Sam is ripped from Benny’s grasp, sent flying across the room towards the solid brick wall still standing. He hits the wall head-first with a sickening snap, crumpling to the ground in a heap.

“NO!” Dean roars.

Benny scrambles over to where Sam’s fallen, checking him over. When he looks up again, Dean can see the answer in Benny’s eyes, even before he reluctantly shakes his head.

“No! Sammy!” Dean chokes out.

Not again.

Before he even knows what he’s doing, Dean’s pulling Benny’s bone-knife from his jacket, rushing forward to attack the woman.

She incapacitates him in moments, twisting his arm and forcing him down to his knees. Dean cries out in pain.

“Dean!” Castiel chokes out, attempting to lurch towards them.

Dean finds Castiel’s eyes and shakes his head, silently signalling Castiel to stay back. This woman is obviously very powerful, and Castiel's already hanging on by a thread.

“Well, look at you,” the woman grins down at Dean, breath hot and uncomfortable on his face. “The pictures I’ve seen haven’t done you justice, Dean Winchester. You give a girl all sorts of nasty ideas.”

Dean struggles against her grip, trying to neutralize whatever super-strength she may be using on him, but his emotions are too unstable to use his abilities effectively, or she’s just too powerful.

“What do you say, Dean? Since Cain left, I’ve been looking for someone to rule by my side. Join me. We’ll have a grand ol’ time.”

“What if I tell you to get bent?” Dean snarls. Glancing back to check on Castiel, he racks his brain for a way to get out of this mess and get Castiel to safety.

“Oh, but he’s not going to last long either,” Abaddon says mockingly. “You might as well come with me.”

Dean looks at Castiel. Maybe if he goes with her, Benny can get Castiel to a hospital somehow. But even then, Dean knows Castiel’s chances are slim. The blood stain on his clothes has grown larger, seeping onto the ground beneath him, and his skin is ashen from blood loss.

Dean crumples in her grip, about to give in, but that’s when he feels it – a hand, closing around his ankle – Cain’s hand. A warmth shoots up his leg from the contact, the tingle of power pulsing through his body, and he feels himself transforming, changing shape, his hand elongating into the sharp point of a blade, just like the other mutant with Cain. With a smirk, Dean shoves the blade upwards, right into Abaddon’s stomach, pushing it deeper and deeper, and Abaddon cries out, surprised and enraged and long, exploding in a flash of white light.

Dean blinks into the empty space afterwards, trying to clear his vision. He feels Cain remove his hand, and turns to see Cain removing his other hand from the bladed mutant on the ground. Dean watches in fascination as his blade-shaped appendage returns to normal.

“Thanks,” he breathes. Cain inclines his head in return.

“Dean!” Benny’s voice shakes him out of his stupor. He turns to see Benny kneeling at Castiel’s side, and scrambles over to them.

“Dean,” Castiel smiles weakly.

“Cas,” Dean tries to smile back as he takes Castiel’s hand in his own. “Can you fly out of here? Get to a hospital?”

“Maybe,” Castiel replies. “But I don’t think it will matter,” he says, and as if to prove his point he begins to cough, blood gurgling from his mouth over his lips.

“Cas, no,” Dean wipes it away. “Don’t do this to me again,” he whispers.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel replies, eyelids fluttering low.

“No!” Dean shakes him. “You promised, Cas! You promised I wouldn’t be alone!” he chokes out, his vision blurring with tears.

“Dean,” Benny hisses as Castiel’s eyes fly wide again, body racked with another painful cough.

“Dammit, Cas,” Dean curses. “I can’t do this again.”

“Yes, you can, Dean,” Castiel smiles, reaching shakily towards his face. Dean grabs Castiel’s hand, pressing it to his cheek for him.

“No, Cas. No,” Dean whispers.

“Just remember that wherever you may end up, I will always love you, no matter what.”

“Cas…” Dean pleads.

“Remember that, Dean…”

“I will,” Dean nods helplessly. He suddenly realizes that in this world, he never would’ve had the chance to tell Castiel he how he felt about him. In this world, he was already dead before the morning it would’ve happened.

He never even got to tell his own Cas he loved him one last time.

He’s not going to let this chance go now.

“I love you too, Cas,” he whispers.

And he means it, with his entire being. This may not be the Castiel he fell in love with, but he’s still Cas, in every way that counts, and Dean still loves him, all the same. No matter what.

“Dean…” Castiel smiles at that, soft and sad, full of regret for the life they never had together, the life they still could’ve made together, if they’d had the chance. Dean swoops down to press their lips together, sharing his regret, saying his goodbyes. It's their first kiss, as well as their last, and Castiel sobs into it, finally finding the forgiveness he'd been searching for – redemption – at the very end.

“Shut your eyes, Dean,” Castiel whispers when they pull apart, already beginning to glow. Dean nods, his vision blurring with tears and light, so bright, that he finally has no choice but to close his eyes against it.

And then, Castiel is gone.

Everyone is gone.

And Dean finds himself empty-handed and alone, kneeling on unforgiving concrete in the middle of a familiar street in Kansas City, surrounded by ramshackle buildings and streets littered with rubble and debris.

Dean screams. He screams, and screams, sobbing inconsolably until his lungs ache and his throat is hoarse. He wishes for the terrible numbness he felt after watching Castiel die the first time, anything other than this furious anguish he feels now. It’s too cruel. Too cruel to play this kind of joke on him. To give him hope for a second chance, only to rip it away again before it’s barely bloomed. Too cruel to make him watch Castiel die not once, but twice.

Maybe it would’ve been better if he’d just kept his mouth shut, never tried to convince Castiel who he was, and that they loved each other. Or even better, maybe he should’ve just let his Cas kill him the first time, in the crypt, before they were ever in love at all. Anything, anything but this.

Dean screams, and screams. And afterwards, when he’s exhausted and gasping for breath, he realizes what a dangerous mistake he’s made.

He’s been screaming his location to anyone and everyone, in an unknown and potentially hostile environment. But by the time that sinks in, it’s too late. He can already hear the sounds of shuffling in the alley behind him. And when Dean turns, he barely has a split-second to make out the word “CROATOAN” spray-painted across the alley wall, before they attack.

He runs. Dodging overturned cars and rubble, he quickly realizes that the destruction around him doesn’t seem like the fallout of an explosion, but more like the aftermath of a riot, and he wonders just how dangerous his pursuers are. Weaving past a particularly tall pile of debris, he ducks down an alleyway, hoping to lose them. But he doesn’t get very far before he finds himself trapped by wire fencing, his pursuers rapidly closing in on him.

Then, when he thinks it can’t get any worse, a large military truck rolls up on the other side of the fence, full of soldiers with guns, and they begin firing indiscriminately, sending bullets flying towards Dean as well as his attackers. He instinctively hunches in on himself, making a smaller target, but it doesn’t make a difference. He’s completely exposed. A bullet rips into his side and he hits the ground, pain lancing through his body.

As his vision slowly greys out, it seems like the sound of gunfire gets louder, doubling in volume and ringing all around him, from every direction – but he thinks he hears his brother’s voice, calling his name. He can almost see Sam’s face hovering above him… right before the world goes black.



Castiel dreams of a world where Lucifer uses Sam’s mutation for something else entirely. His goals are the same – chaos and destruction and the utter annihilation of the human race – but he goes about it very, very differently. He uses Sam’s blood to instead create a virus – the Croatoan virus – mutating the blood of any infected human until they develop abilities of their own, becoming mutants themselves. The panic and violence that results quickly spreads worldwide, the handful of mutant factions expanding as the mutant population does.

To counter the chaos, Dean Winchester goes to the remnants of the world’s governments, offering his own blood to create a cure. It works, and many are treated. But Lucifer’s factions terrorize the treatment centers, attack the manufacturing labs, and blow up distribution depots, until the government decides to weaponize the cure, developing guns for it.

When the Resistance learns of Lucifer’s plan to attack the main lab where Dean has gone to allow government scientists to map his blood genome, they rush to his rescue. But when government soldiers arrive amidst the fighting, they shoot indiscriminately, using the cure against any mutant they see, regardless of whether they are allied with the Resistance or Lucifer’s forces.

Castiel is hit with the cure. So he is powerless to do anything but watch as Lucifer brings down the facility. Powerless to save Dean.

While Castiel still remembers the many worlds he dreamt of before then, this one is the dream – the nightmare – that Castiel never wakes from. The one he can never escape. Because this is the world he actually lives in.

~ next