counting down to what exactly?

[the_defect_]

..*sigh*...and yet again, i have begun to have another boring summer. They just aren't what they used to be, or maybe i'm not what i used to be...either way, summer is for fools, and boys with cars, who have girls to ride in them. Relationships....pff...who needs them, they're for stable people who are committed, and faithful, what shameful characteristics. A quality of the sick at heart...or sick in love. Bitter? Envious? jealous?...these words mean nothing to me- But of course not a lot does. Perhaps i'm a poor judge of character, or quality to say the least. But i'd like to think that i am remotely inelegant enough, to realize it's everyone else with the issues...and that my summer is in fact perfect, but only different from every other 16 year olds because they all suck. I'm ignorant. But alone, and missing something huge...perhaps one day i'll figure out what that is..........i'm lying, i already know.
My complaining it truly about nothing, and in nothing i've found something to complain about, but since i'm finding something in nothing, it's nothing in the end anyways....so i may as well quit.

i think i just miss him.....or it....or...nevermind.