Ain't Gonna Face No Defeat ...
Yesterday the ban against same-sex marriage was overturned in Indiana.
This is a truly historic day for the state. Equality and acceptance are now the norm. As I said just a few weeks ago, it's time would come. I'm just impressed with how quickly it did.
Ever since I wrote last week's entry discussing my childhood relationship with my Papa (amongst other things). Of course, if you really want to know how much he cared about me, here's a little story that sums it up pretty well.
As you've probably guessed, I wanted to grow up and be just like him. I had my own little shave kit that was just like his (including a plastic razor blade that was inserted into the razor) and I would copy his shaving methods as soon as he was done himself. I had my own miniature lunch pail just like his and I honestly looked forward to the day that I would have my own "spit can" just like his (He dipped snuff a lot). Interestingly, no one ever discouraged me from this sort of behavior.
Probably because I never wanted to dress like him. He was always wearing overalls which I still don't like to this day. I always wanted to wear big, princess dresses (or frankly, a dress of any type). But alas, my mother's "stuck in the 50's" sense of fashion, would not allow me to do so. While I did have some dresses growing up, they were short and straight and hideous. The looked a lot like this but less decorated and not as full. I just wanted a long, full princess dress and a tutu. I would have been so happy to have worn them for any reason but this was not to be.
I was told the main reason was that we were too poor to pay for dancing lessons or the extra material and that I just had to make do with what I was given.
Growing up I remember having lots of pictures and items (mirrors, hairbrushes, etc.) covered in pictures of pretty girls. I was also given these and other things (like nightgowns) in both pink and blue. While I liked both colors, I usually preferred pink unless the girl on the blue thing was prettier. I never did care for any of the Princes or other males in stories, books or anything. Just the ladies.
For a very long time pink was my favorite color and I know exactly why that was. One of the first shows I can really remember watching is Room 222 and Karen Valentine's name was on a pink bar. That's why I loved pink. I had a HUGE crush on Karen Valentine.
So you can see that my formative years were rather strange in that I longed to be just like my Papa, I was only attracted to girls but I wanted to dress like a very girly-girl myself.
Of course, between peer pressure and being forced to fit in, I became "boy-crazy". It started mostly as an act but I did eventually develop an attraction to boys. I liked either the really pretty ones (with almost girly looks) or the outcasts who usually were quirky looking but were on the fringes of the cliques and liked the same sort of things as me. However, I still had numerous crushes on girls too.
I actually spent most of my teen years thinking that I had been born a boy and turned into a girl in some sort of botched circumcision accident (which can happen).
Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I am bisexual. Once I came to terms with this, my life was so much more joyful. I just wish I could have fully know this earlier. While it wouldn't have made my life amongst my peers easier, it would have made me happier.
What I find so funny about this is that since I am a bisexual woman in a committed relationship with a straight man, most everyone automatically considers me to be straight as well. Even amongst our GLBT friends, they are often surprised that I fit into their categories. Still, my kind and I are not totally accepted by a vast majority of them. I actually quit my bible-study group because of one of the newer members relentlessly attacking me as not valid because "I wouldn't make a choice to be either straight or gay". I hate that whole black and white thing. It's everywhere. When someone's attractions to a different gender of partner than they had before, it does not make them solidly "straight or gay". Being bisexual is a more accurate descriptor and a valid choice as well.
This is probably why most of our friends at church are Trans. They are also marginalized by the community and I have always felt a kinship with them as well.
So, while the state has made a huge step in acceptance of the GLBT community and their right to wed and love whom they want, the GLBTs themselves still have a way to go in accepting all of their members equally.
I hope you've enjoyed this little trip into my psyche. Since this week's therealljidol gave us an Open Topic, I felt that opening up to you was the way to go. Perhaps this will help you to have a better understanding of who I am and how I came to be myself. There are still more childhood stories both good and bad that I want to share with you but those will have to wait for now. Thanks for reading and your continued support.
TTFN!
This is a truly historic day for the state. Equality and acceptance are now the norm. As I said just a few weeks ago, it's time would come. I'm just impressed with how quickly it did.
Ever since I wrote last week's entry discussing my childhood relationship with my Papa (amongst other things). Of course, if you really want to know how much he cared about me, here's a little story that sums it up pretty well.
As you've probably guessed, I wanted to grow up and be just like him. I had my own little shave kit that was just like his (including a plastic razor blade that was inserted into the razor) and I would copy his shaving methods as soon as he was done himself. I had my own miniature lunch pail just like his and I honestly looked forward to the day that I would have my own "spit can" just like his (He dipped snuff a lot). Interestingly, no one ever discouraged me from this sort of behavior.
Probably because I never wanted to dress like him. He was always wearing overalls which I still don't like to this day. I always wanted to wear big, princess dresses (or frankly, a dress of any type). But alas, my mother's "stuck in the 50's" sense of fashion, would not allow me to do so. While I did have some dresses growing up, they were short and straight and hideous. The looked a lot like this but less decorated and not as full. I just wanted a long, full princess dress and a tutu. I would have been so happy to have worn them for any reason but this was not to be.
I was told the main reason was that we were too poor to pay for dancing lessons or the extra material and that I just had to make do with what I was given.
Growing up I remember having lots of pictures and items (mirrors, hairbrushes, etc.) covered in pictures of pretty girls. I was also given these and other things (like nightgowns) in both pink and blue. While I liked both colors, I usually preferred pink unless the girl on the blue thing was prettier. I never did care for any of the Princes or other males in stories, books or anything. Just the ladies.
For a very long time pink was my favorite color and I know exactly why that was. One of the first shows I can really remember watching is Room 222 and Karen Valentine's name was on a pink bar. That's why I loved pink. I had a HUGE crush on Karen Valentine.
So you can see that my formative years were rather strange in that I longed to be just like my Papa, I was only attracted to girls but I wanted to dress like a very girly-girl myself.
Of course, between peer pressure and being forced to fit in, I became "boy-crazy". It started mostly as an act but I did eventually develop an attraction to boys. I liked either the really pretty ones (with almost girly looks) or the outcasts who usually were quirky looking but were on the fringes of the cliques and liked the same sort of things as me. However, I still had numerous crushes on girls too.
I actually spent most of my teen years thinking that I had been born a boy and turned into a girl in some sort of botched circumcision accident (which can happen).
Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I am bisexual. Once I came to terms with this, my life was so much more joyful. I just wish I could have fully know this earlier. While it wouldn't have made my life amongst my peers easier, it would have made me happier.
What I find so funny about this is that since I am a bisexual woman in a committed relationship with a straight man, most everyone automatically considers me to be straight as well. Even amongst our GLBT friends, they are often surprised that I fit into their categories. Still, my kind and I are not totally accepted by a vast majority of them. I actually quit my bible-study group because of one of the newer members relentlessly attacking me as not valid because "I wouldn't make a choice to be either straight or gay". I hate that whole black and white thing. It's everywhere. When someone's attractions to a different gender of partner than they had before, it does not make them solidly "straight or gay". Being bisexual is a more accurate descriptor and a valid choice as well.
This is probably why most of our friends at church are Trans. They are also marginalized by the community and I have always felt a kinship with them as well.
So, while the state has made a huge step in acceptance of the GLBT community and their right to wed and love whom they want, the GLBTs themselves still have a way to go in accepting all of their members equally.
I hope you've enjoyed this little trip into my psyche. Since this week's therealljidol gave us an Open Topic, I felt that opening up to you was the way to go. Perhaps this will help you to have a better understanding of who I am and how I came to be myself. There are still more childhood stories both good and bad that I want to share with you but those will have to wait for now. Thanks for reading and your continued support.
TTFN!