listening to cio-cio san
Dear journal,
So these are the last Danvers days. A lot of signs point to this being the last of the Viz summers, at least. It's always hard to tell if my parents will ever get serious about selling the house or just keep on talking about it like it's a movie about other people. Regardless, I am moving into a world without semesters, and probably without summer vacations, and that means no Viz summers, something I have never experienced except for that one interrupted by Provence.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about New York, and going there. It's always something I guess I wanted to do, and figured I would do, and like everything it is hard to visualize. Again it means a new bedroom and a new routine and new faces........I'm excited. I'm also exhausted. I think we all sort of live multiple lives these days. I don't really know how we do it. At this point I haven't exactly shaken France yet. Unbelievably that was less than a month ago I arrived back at Logan and was swarmed with 90 degree heat and Boston accents and Betty Ann's subs and all this kind of stuff that I forgot about. Soon I will sort of shed Danvers but that won't be real until I'm sure I won't be back. I'm going to go back to Farmington in September and remember how it once was and hope it remembers me how I once was.
Part of it is the Custom Cup cafe is full of people who have had the same routine for many, many years and are comfortable and at times happy. It makes you think. It makes you a little crazy too I guess. Just look at Eddie.
People are getting married. Some of them are having babies. Other people who are not getting married are having babies, too. A lady whose son I graduated with comes into the coffeeshop all the time and talks to me about how we're all too young for this stuff. Her son just got married to another girl I graduated with and they bought a condo. I just nod and say stuff like "no kidding". But who's to say we are too young? I think young marriage is having a renaissance. I've got to learn once and for all how to spell renaissance. Two s's, one n.
Part of me would be sort of thrilled to be living in a house with someone and making dinner at the same time every night or whatever. Maybe even engaged. That seems sort of cool. To be done with dating. I never thought I'd say that but it's sort of out of my system. Maybe this is just a phase, but the thought of dating in New York is another thing that just sort of exhausts me. I'm having an apathetic week though. I started driving into Boston tonight to meet Darcy and Heather and then just turned around and came home. Like that. I rented Grey's Anatomy. I really did want to see Darcy and Heather but I really did not want to drive in the rain and maybe get lost. The other night I was at a party and read a whole book of William Carlos Williams poems in a living room without furniture and then went home. I guess i just want to be home while it's here.
Last week was less apathetic. I worked for a few days which was actually fun and then on Wednesday Battles was playing and I didn't have a ticket and it was sold out. I just walked the sidewalk like a weird overdressed hooker until someone sold me a ticket. I met all kinds of friends and enemies and lovers on that sidewalk. It was worth every moment of wondering on the futility of the whole thing because Battles was I'm talking insanely great and so was Singer, the opener. The next day I slept late and then I drove to Portland listening to Battles and played with old radios and TVs at Sal.Army with Owen and Adam and watched the Wicker Man and didn't leave till Saturday morning. Owen and I went to Marcy's and later jumped off that sweet crazy zombie train bridge (pictured below) on Friday when it was allofasudden sunny & also blasted Pinkerton and wandered around the Yarmouth Clam Festival looking for used books and people he knew that he could introduce me to as his wife for all the potentially hilarious reactions. We didn't run into anyone, sadly, but did drink some free cafeteria chocolate milk. That night it was Mugglefest so obviously we took advantage of the terrific opportunity to heckle. My favorite was "HEY KID SHOW ME YOUR CHAMBERASECRETS".
At 4:30 that morning I moved a passed out dude from a bathroom floor to a living room couch so I could pee and on Saturday drank a bunch from a keg. It's nice to know these things can still go on after college, you know what i mean. That reminds me, today on my mp3 shuffle a live song by Antony & the Johnsons came up where he halts the song kind of dramatically and then asks if anyone has a jelly bean.
Friday night that week was a very much overdue girls night with Heather, Darcy and Amanda. We drank beer and ate sushi and talked about boys and apartments and other people's relationships. I finally went to the Downtown Lounge and was frankly a little disappointed. I tried really hard to stay up all night after that but failed. The next day I went to a bridal shower, very very sleepy.
Change, change, change.
So these are the last Danvers days. A lot of signs point to this being the last of the Viz summers, at least. It's always hard to tell if my parents will ever get serious about selling the house or just keep on talking about it like it's a movie about other people. Regardless, I am moving into a world without semesters, and probably without summer vacations, and that means no Viz summers, something I have never experienced except for that one interrupted by Provence.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about New York, and going there. It's always something I guess I wanted to do, and figured I would do, and like everything it is hard to visualize. Again it means a new bedroom and a new routine and new faces........I'm excited. I'm also exhausted. I think we all sort of live multiple lives these days. I don't really know how we do it. At this point I haven't exactly shaken France yet. Unbelievably that was less than a month ago I arrived back at Logan and was swarmed with 90 degree heat and Boston accents and Betty Ann's subs and all this kind of stuff that I forgot about. Soon I will sort of shed Danvers but that won't be real until I'm sure I won't be back. I'm going to go back to Farmington in September and remember how it once was and hope it remembers me how I once was.
Part of it is the Custom Cup cafe is full of people who have had the same routine for many, many years and are comfortable and at times happy. It makes you think. It makes you a little crazy too I guess. Just look at Eddie.
People are getting married. Some of them are having babies. Other people who are not getting married are having babies, too. A lady whose son I graduated with comes into the coffeeshop all the time and talks to me about how we're all too young for this stuff. Her son just got married to another girl I graduated with and they bought a condo. I just nod and say stuff like "no kidding". But who's to say we are too young? I think young marriage is having a renaissance. I've got to learn once and for all how to spell renaissance. Two s's, one n.
Part of me would be sort of thrilled to be living in a house with someone and making dinner at the same time every night or whatever. Maybe even engaged. That seems sort of cool. To be done with dating. I never thought I'd say that but it's sort of out of my system. Maybe this is just a phase, but the thought of dating in New York is another thing that just sort of exhausts me. I'm having an apathetic week though. I started driving into Boston tonight to meet Darcy and Heather and then just turned around and came home. Like that. I rented Grey's Anatomy. I really did want to see Darcy and Heather but I really did not want to drive in the rain and maybe get lost. The other night I was at a party and read a whole book of William Carlos Williams poems in a living room without furniture and then went home. I guess i just want to be home while it's here.
Last week was less apathetic. I worked for a few days which was actually fun and then on Wednesday Battles was playing and I didn't have a ticket and it was sold out. I just walked the sidewalk like a weird overdressed hooker until someone sold me a ticket. I met all kinds of friends and enemies and lovers on that sidewalk. It was worth every moment of wondering on the futility of the whole thing because Battles was I'm talking insanely great and so was Singer, the opener. The next day I slept late and then I drove to Portland listening to Battles and played with old radios and TVs at Sal.Army with Owen and Adam and watched the Wicker Man and didn't leave till Saturday morning. Owen and I went to Marcy's and later jumped off that sweet crazy zombie train bridge (pictured below) on Friday when it was allofasudden sunny & also blasted Pinkerton and wandered around the Yarmouth Clam Festival looking for used books and people he knew that he could introduce me to as his wife for all the potentially hilarious reactions. We didn't run into anyone, sadly, but did drink some free cafeteria chocolate milk. That night it was Mugglefest so obviously we took advantage of the terrific opportunity to heckle. My favorite was "HEY KID SHOW ME YOUR CHAMBERASECRETS".
At 4:30 that morning I moved a passed out dude from a bathroom floor to a living room couch so I could pee and on Saturday drank a bunch from a keg. It's nice to know these things can still go on after college, you know what i mean. That reminds me, today on my mp3 shuffle a live song by Antony & the Johnsons came up where he halts the song kind of dramatically and then asks if anyone has a jelly bean.
Friday night that week was a very much overdue girls night with Heather, Darcy and Amanda. We drank beer and ate sushi and talked about boys and apartments and other people's relationships. I finally went to the Downtown Lounge and was frankly a little disappointed. I tried really hard to stay up all night after that but failed. The next day I went to a bridal shower, very very sleepy.
Change, change, change.