and it starts......
right....umm live journal...right...so im suposed to write about myself n what I did today n all this other stuff so u all can read about my life rite? well phuk that! IM GUNNA WRITE STORYS! and your all gunna read em and love me because thats the way this is gunna go down!
now....
title: Don't say Wankle
one day there was turtle named stephin...ohh he was gorgious! the most beautiful turtle in the land! sadly no one gave a shyt....(after all i doubt your intrested in jiggin on a turtle), well anyway he wasnt "all that and a toob of pringlez" from bein a lazy bastard n sittin around doin nothing all day. Stephin was a runner! (well as much as could b expected from a slow pathetic creature such as he was) Every morning he would get up and truck his nubbz down a path to the pond. so he could guzzle that skrumptious water. Now don't b a dumb ass and think that the path was short...after all hes a profesional! gotta push himself to the LIMIT!...well just so happenz this path crosses a road that could be compaired with decent similarity to the mass turnpike.
He was goin down the path he came upon a rabit just snoozin the day away. Along with his gorgious figure he also claimed ownership to the personality of a leo, and as everyone knows leos need things thier way...cuz thats how it goes dam it! and darling stephin decided that this rabit wasnt gunna sleep! he wanted a challenge! He kicked the rabit with as much vigor as he could muster! The rabit awoke a lil groggy from this vicious prod. Carol wasn't pleased with her attacker, but being courtious she asked him what he wanted. Our shelled pal replied "on ur toez biatch! last to the pond is gettin a tea bag!" Carol was deeply offended and a lil pissed that this green lil shyt would b so rude to a stranger...especially another species! she would show him! and she acepted his chalenge! SO THEY RACED! of korse carol could stomp the cocky bastard any second but she wanted patronage for her mistreatings (plus even if she won she couldnt really tea bag the lil prick for lack of the required equipment)
She booked ass to road and just as she was crossing she saw a jacked office max truck tryin to lose Mr. Popo....well that shyt never werkz n def not in an 18 wheeler...the copz got em! n started searchin 4 the koke...well it just so happenz the truck was clean, the driver was just a kross dresser that didnt feel like getting caught in silk panties on the job. After the whole ordeal was over Carol started akross the road....but whats this! A PACKAGE OF THUMB TACKS! ohh the gods of vengence has blessed her! she littered them about the trail on the other side of the road and waited in a lil bush
After a decent amount of time our lil asshole came upon the road...somehow and to Carols great disapointment he made it without becomming one with the Asphalt. However completely unaware of the upcomming trap he pushed on some how convinced that Carol got lazy n fell asleep again and he would somehow earn his teabagging rights. THEN IT HAPPENED! Stephin lowered his foot to the ground and felt a wonderful pinch that was metal impaling his flesh! he stepped back in alarm only to take in another one. ohh our gorgious leo was hurting now! he had no way to get them out...he heard maniacle laughter from the bushes and yelled a lot of words i really shouldnt type in here...bad werds like...**** and ******-******!...she figured this was her chance...she aproached stephin with the intent to do harm. she rolled the foolish animal onto his back and ripped out the tacks! ohh the blood flowed as he skreemed as a turtle would! she nudged him onto the rumble strip to await his doom! feeling that she had fufilled her dutys to the turtle she hopped off to down to the pond with a fair amount of satisfaction. she drank the refreshing fluids and decided to finish up that nap... (the end)
Moral = "just cuz ur dope doesnt mean other species think so...and they wont hesitate to kill you for being a dick!"
now....
title: Don't say Wankle
one day there was turtle named stephin...ohh he was gorgious! the most beautiful turtle in the land! sadly no one gave a shyt....(after all i doubt your intrested in jiggin on a turtle), well anyway he wasnt "all that and a toob of pringlez" from bein a lazy bastard n sittin around doin nothing all day. Stephin was a runner! (well as much as could b expected from a slow pathetic creature such as he was) Every morning he would get up and truck his nubbz down a path to the pond. so he could guzzle that skrumptious water. Now don't b a dumb ass and think that the path was short...after all hes a profesional! gotta push himself to the LIMIT!...well just so happenz this path crosses a road that could be compaired with decent similarity to the mass turnpike.
He was goin down the path he came upon a rabit just snoozin the day away. Along with his gorgious figure he also claimed ownership to the personality of a leo, and as everyone knows leos need things thier way...cuz thats how it goes dam it! and darling stephin decided that this rabit wasnt gunna sleep! he wanted a challenge! He kicked the rabit with as much vigor as he could muster! The rabit awoke a lil groggy from this vicious prod. Carol wasn't pleased with her attacker, but being courtious she asked him what he wanted. Our shelled pal replied "on ur toez biatch! last to the pond is gettin a tea bag!" Carol was deeply offended and a lil pissed that this green lil shyt would b so rude to a stranger...especially another species! she would show him! and she acepted his chalenge! SO THEY RACED! of korse carol could stomp the cocky bastard any second but she wanted patronage for her mistreatings (plus even if she won she couldnt really tea bag the lil prick for lack of the required equipment)
She booked ass to road and just as she was crossing she saw a jacked office max truck tryin to lose Mr. Popo....well that shyt never werkz n def not in an 18 wheeler...the copz got em! n started searchin 4 the koke...well it just so happenz the truck was clean, the driver was just a kross dresser that didnt feel like getting caught in silk panties on the job. After the whole ordeal was over Carol started akross the road....but whats this! A PACKAGE OF THUMB TACKS! ohh the gods of vengence has blessed her! she littered them about the trail on the other side of the road and waited in a lil bush
After a decent amount of time our lil asshole came upon the road...somehow and to Carols great disapointment he made it without becomming one with the Asphalt. However completely unaware of the upcomming trap he pushed on some how convinced that Carol got lazy n fell asleep again and he would somehow earn his teabagging rights. THEN IT HAPPENED! Stephin lowered his foot to the ground and felt a wonderful pinch that was metal impaling his flesh! he stepped back in alarm only to take in another one. ohh our gorgious leo was hurting now! he had no way to get them out...he heard maniacle laughter from the bushes and yelled a lot of words i really shouldnt type in here...bad werds like...**** and ******-******!...she figured this was her chance...she aproached stephin with the intent to do harm. she rolled the foolish animal onto his back and ripped out the tacks! ohh the blood flowed as he skreemed as a turtle would! she nudged him onto the rumble strip to await his doom! feeling that she had fufilled her dutys to the turtle she hopped off to down to the pond with a fair amount of satisfaction. she drank the refreshing fluids and decided to finish up that nap... (the end)
Moral = "just cuz ur dope doesnt mean other species think so...and they wont hesitate to kill you for being a dick!"