OFFICIAL REPORT #1: THE FINDING AND ADDRESMENT OF THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST AND HIS ENSUING PUNISHMENT

[the_cololnel]

TO EDWARD ELRIC AKA 'THE FULL METAL ALCHEMIST'. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN REPORTING IN, ED! We're worried about you, thinking you might have been hurt or killed, but here we find you playing around on this social networking site. IF I HAVE TO DO PAPERWORK, THEN YOU HAVE TO GO DO YOUR WORK TOO.

To everyone else:I am Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist

Comments

[rorofightdapowa]

SO YOU'RE THE COLONEL THAT ED KEEPS BITCHING ABOUT!!!!

[upyourscolonel]

DON'T START.

[rorofightdapowa]

[upyourscolonel]

I hope you enjoy the Dia Gurren's new shape.

[rorofightdapowa]

GOOD THING I HAVE IZUMI'S EMAIL SAVED ON MY CONTACTS

[upyourscolonel]

IF I LEAVE SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND ME!

[the_cololnel]

Yes, and you are?

[rorofightdapowa]

I AM THE LEADER OF THE DAI GURREN ARMY!!!! A RAGTAG GROUP OF PEOPLE SEEKING TO FREE HUMANITY FROM THE OPPRESSION OF THE SPIRAL KING, LORD GENOME!!!

I AM THE DIVINE KAMINA-SAMA?!?!?!

[the_cololnel]

Interesting, another group of terrorists trying to usurp the military?

[rorofightdapowa]

TERRORISTS?!?! WE'RE HEROES!!! WE'VE BEEN FORCED TO LIVE UNDERGROUND!!!!!

WE FIGHT AGAINST BEASTMEN!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON?!?!?!?

[upyourscolonel]

Cocks.

Lots of them.

He is the Flamer Alchemist, after all.

[rorofightdapowa]

I'M INCLINED TO AGREE WITH YOU, ED!!!

[upyourscolonel]

OH, REALLY?

[rorofightdapowa]

YES REALLY!!!!!

I believe a truce is in order here.

[upyourscolonel]

Damn, and I was looking forward to transmuting the Dai Gurren into a giant metal shlong.

Okay, okay. Truce.

[the_cololnel]

Oh? I assumed you meant MY king and military you were trying to usurp.