OFFICIAL REPORT #1: THE FINDING AND ADDRESMENT OF THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST AND HIS ENSUING PUNISHMENT
TO EDWARD ELRIC AKA 'THE FULL METAL ALCHEMIST'. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN REPORTING IN, ED! We're worried about you, thinking you might have been hurt or killed, but here we find you playing around on this social networking site. IF I HAVE TO DO PAPERWORK, THEN YOU HAVE TO GO DO YOUR WORK TOO.
To everyone else:
I am Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. I can set people on fire with but a snap of my fingers. I enjoy snipers, dogs, and miniskirts. NOW WORSHIP ME AS YOUR LEADER AND I SHALL TAKE YOU ALL INTO A GRAND AGE OF THE MILITARY!!!
To everyone else:
I am Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. I can set people on fire with but a snap of my fingers. I enjoy snipers, dogs, and miniskirts. NOW WORSHIP ME AS YOUR LEADER AND I SHALL TAKE YOU ALL INTO A GRAND AGE OF THE MILITARY!!!