3.18 - Resolutions
I’m still living in the shadowland of doubt with regard to many unresolved issues in my life, dealing with the accumulation of sin on my conscience. There’s a certain urgency that’s gripped me in recent days with regard to the world at large, with specific regard to Carlisle itself. High school is almost over. That’s meaning more and more each time I repeat it.
I have to take care of old business that I’ve let fester for too long. I want to go to Allegheny and make a fresh start that works. It’s a free do-over of life, going to college, and it’ll only work if I make it. My middle school counselor and advisor who watched over me as I trekked through the Year of Hell and Dorseyville Middle School, Dr. Dull, told me to make Carlisle a fresh start, to make it work. He spent almost six months teaching me how, how to read people, how to deal with them on my terms, how to rise above the conventions of a world that we both knew wasn’t going to satisfy me. I left with the intention of starting over, but left too much unfinished business. That haunted me and prevented me from making a clean sweep of the past. There was carry over that hurt me from day one. If I am to make a fresh start at Allegheny, I need to tie up the loose ends of the past before I can fully commit myself to the future. That’s why I’ve outlined a plan.
There are several people I need to address in person, tell them exactly what I need them to know about themselves from my perspective. This way I’ll know they will be all right in the end. It’s sort of an indirect narcissism. I need to apologize for my mistakes, collect my debts, right the injustices covered in dust, and atone for the sins long buried by the insistence of the present to move beyond the past.
Kelly, Kendall, Lauren, Kyle, Dave, John, Jeremy, Annie, Ryan, and Laura are just a few of the people I need to talk with over the next two weeks. It’s going to be hard, really hard, to drudge up the past this close to graduation. But I need to do it. I have resolved to do it. I need to do it.
Respectfully Submitted,
Art “The Brain”
I have to take care of old business that I’ve let fester for too long. I want to go to Allegheny and make a fresh start that works. It’s a free do-over of life, going to college, and it’ll only work if I make it. My middle school counselor and advisor who watched over me as I trekked through the Year of Hell and Dorseyville Middle School, Dr. Dull, told me to make Carlisle a fresh start, to make it work. He spent almost six months teaching me how, how to read people, how to deal with them on my terms, how to rise above the conventions of a world that we both knew wasn’t going to satisfy me. I left with the intention of starting over, but left too much unfinished business. That haunted me and prevented me from making a clean sweep of the past. There was carry over that hurt me from day one. If I am to make a fresh start at Allegheny, I need to tie up the loose ends of the past before I can fully commit myself to the future. That’s why I’ve outlined a plan.
There are several people I need to address in person, tell them exactly what I need them to know about themselves from my perspective. This way I’ll know they will be all right in the end. It’s sort of an indirect narcissism. I need to apologize for my mistakes, collect my debts, right the injustices covered in dust, and atone for the sins long buried by the insistence of the present to move beyond the past.
Kelly, Kendall, Lauren, Kyle, Dave, John, Jeremy, Annie, Ryan, and Laura are just a few of the people I need to talk with over the next two weeks. It’s going to be hard, really hard, to drudge up the past this close to graduation. But I need to do it. I have resolved to do it. I need to do it.
Respectfully Submitted,
Art “The Brain”