Nov 14, 2004 22:36
I miss my dad alot, i miss how he was so funny, how he smelled so good and he always wore his leather jacket so now whenever i smell one i think of him and its so nice. I miss how he would be gone for weeks for work but when he finally came home it would be the same ritual and he would bring home "gifts" aka get us all excited making us think he was brining home something and in truth he would only have stolen toilet paper from the hotels. I miss the house he built for us and it makes me mad how i have to go back there all the time and see how crappy the "russians" treat it. I miss how cool he was about everything and how he taught me to be so brave and not fear anything. I miss the walks in the woods, i miss how we would always whach bugs bunny and how it was his favorite cartoon, how he would always do the goofiest impression of bugs bunny. I miss how he would always whach the lion king with me over and over like put up with it three times a day just because it was my favorite movie at the time. I miss taking road trips with him in his big tractor trailor trucks. I miss how he would go out of his way for me and walk to burger king when i only wanted thier food for the toy becuase it was better than the mcdonalds one, so he would park at mcdonalds and walk all the way over to burger kind because you couldnt park the tractor trailor at burger king. I miss how we would always catch frogs together. I miss having someone to stick up for me even over the silliest of things.
I wonder what it would be like to say the word dad almost every day ?I wonder what its like having a father. I wonder what he would think of the world today, the war in iraq, would he have voted for bush or kerry and why ? Would he be proud of me and were i am now. Would he have taught me to drive ? I wonder what it would be like to see my mom happy.
Its just amazing how one little dent in the chain of time can COMPLETELY change EVERYTHING that you as a person and your life itself turns out to be. My life would not even be 1% the same right now had the events on april 12 1996 not happened. I owuld be the COMPLETE opposite of myself. I would NOT be dating ben thats for sure, i wouldve probably been through at least 6 bf's and i would probably be pregnant already with a child just like every other girl in "putscum". Or not ?? who knows the possibilities are endless. I just have this feeling though that someday i am going to make it big somehow i am either going to help others to a great degree or do something HUGE that will not be able to be missed and i think that by going into the major i am i WILL be able to makes some waves. Ive only been in college for a couple months now and im already causing some constructive turmoil