TR Day Party

[coffee_sir]

Every year, between Guy Fawkes Night and Thanksgiving, there was a holiday that everyone on the island could celebrate despite their cultural background. Tabula Rasa Day might not get the same fanfare as the other two red letter days, but it was well-enjoyed nonetheless because it commemorated the establishment of the community, a new home and a

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[onlyforthedream]

I'm not sure which would be a worse kind of hypocrisy- going to the celebration of the island's founding even though I'm still loathe to attempt to be social, or not going when I've just stood up and made a bid to represent the people who live here by sitting on the council. In the end, I think Bucky's right. There's nowhere to run to, and the farthest I can go isn't very. I should try, at least, and if anything, perhaps it will prove the kind of distraction I need.

It reminds me a fair bit of Providence, a thought that could be depressing in the utmost, and I remind myself that there is no 'rest of the world' here to infringe upon these people's lives. Only the island's own brand of malice, but if anything it seems to forge the bonds of community more strongly. Everyone here is a survivor.

I'm dressed down compared to what I wear to teach or what I wore to make my speech in, just a pair of faded jeans and a t-shirt I found in the box, the design of which was strangely appealing. I keep an eye out for my students, and my friends,

[theboywhowaited]

Rory's making the rounds, a beer in hand and an easy smile on his face. A part of his mind is still, always, on the speeches of a few days before, thinking about how he could have done better, if he had messed up, would it be enough. But he's usually always up for a party, especially when his mind is working overtime. He can use the break.

He gives Steve a broad grin when he sees his broad frame standing out in the crowd and makes his way over. "Hello," he greets. "Nice party, right?"

[onlyforthedream]

"Rory," I say, smiling, and greeting the other man with a hand extended.

"It is. You did a great job, the other day."

[theboywhowaited]

Rory returns the shake firmly, ignoring the fleeting thought that Steve could probably break his hand if he wanted to. Maybe one day he won't look at the other man and first think of how much smaller he is comparatively. Today's not that day.

"Thanks," he says. "You, too. I really did like your speech. I like your, er.. focus."

[onlyforthedream]

"Thank you," I reply, ducking my head just slightly in acknowledgement of the praise, though I'm not sure how deserved it is.

"I'm not sure it was much of a platform, but after the past few months, it's... what I've been thinking about, a lot."

The past few days, I've mostly been thinking about Peggy, and in turn, Sharon, and things I've left undone, unfinished. The election process is a welcome enough reprieve.

[theboywhowaited]

"Well, my platform was sort of that I had no platform and didn't need one. So by that logic, you did great."

He pauses to take a sip of his drink, mulling over Steve's words, Rory's memory of what he said up on the stage. "It's not fair, is it? All the things that can happen to a person in a life. But we've got to do the best we can, all the same."

[onlyforthedream]

"Which makes the island the same as anyplace else," I agree, turning my own bottle over in my hands, "and just as worth fighting for."

[theboywhowaited]

"Exactly," Rory says with a nod. "We've just got to work a little more outside of the box here, sometimes. It gets easier the more you do it, but I'm still not entirely used to it, I don't think."

[onlyforthedream]

"I'm not sure you ever can be," I say honestly.

"But then, there are other people who'd know better than I would. Neil, for one. People who have been here five years, it's difficult to imagine."

[theboywhowaited]

"Yeah, but.." He trails off, just for a second, that faraway look coming over his face that says he's thinking of something else completely removed from the party. "It's harder to imagine than to do, I think. Once you find yourself in it, I think things get easier. Or maybe that's just me."

[onlyforthedream]

"Then maybe I'm just getting pulled out of it too much, recently," I murmur thoughtfully, because Rory makes a good point.

[theboywhowaited]

Rory frowns slightly as he looks to Steve, not sure how to take the statement. "Something.. you want to talk about?" he asks. He doesn't want to make Steve feel awkward, but it's natural for Rory to show concern. "I mean, I know it's a party and everything... Maybe not a good time..."

[onlyforthedream]

"Rory, have you heard about anyone..." Describing the time loop is tricky- presenting it in a way that's clear but doesn't trivialize it.

"Being trapped, in a certain string of events from their past? Being made to go through them repeatedly until they change one thing, or don't, as the case may be, and then just like that, they're back on the island and no time has changed?"

[theboywhowaited]

Rory can see where this is going already and he hopes it isn't as awful as it could potentially be.

"I've heard of it," he says calmly. "It's not happened to me, personally, but I've heard of it. ...Was it your past?"

[onlyforthedream]

"Yes," I say, and don't add that it was Bucky's as well, because it's not my place and it's not pertinent to the conversation.

"It made me wonder. How many people have gone through this? How long has it been happening? If people don't know that it's happening to others, that sense of isolation alone, combined with the potential trauma of the experience... The damage this could be doing to people..." I shake my head.

"I can't help thinking there has to be something that can be done, to make it easier. Dealing with it, afterward."

[theboywhowaited]

He can't know for sure how it feels, having never been through this particular brand of weird before. But the more Rory walks around this island, these people, the more he sees how similar their experiences are, rather than different. Isolation, trauma. Yes, he knows those things.

"Well, there's therapy," he says. "But you can't force people into that. Talking about it is... difficult, in addition to being painful sometimes. It's personal, a personal experience."