(Untitled)

[ffyddlon]

It's been weeks now since she's found out about her biological son and Gwen's still reeling. Investigating Kate Freelander's string of thefts helped to keep the worst of it at bay because she was busy but now, with nothing to do, her idle mind wanders to that little boy more often than Gwen likes. She doesn't feel any pull to be a parent. That's

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[dr_robchase]

Chase had heard. The Doctor had told him practically the day of, but he was busy and he was scared and both those things, when combined together, meant that he wasn't exactly chasing Gwen down to talk about it. Eventually, though, he knew that he couldn't put it off forever and had to make the first step. It was utter chance that he found her, that morning, because he'd meant to head straight for the church in a roundabout way (to get a hold of his thoughts).

Better then than never, he supposed. "Gwen," he said gently. "Are you okay?"

[ffyddlon]

"Depends on the definition of okay," Gwen says shakily. She's not upset at Rob or the Doctor, they both have their reasons for keeping things from her and telling her things when it was time, but it's just...hard.

"I feel like I'm running and running and I can't find the end of the road, you know? I don't know what to do with what I feel."

[dr_robchase]

Chase took in a deep breath, unsure if he ought to confront the issue or leave it to dangle in the dark as he'd been doing for so long. In the end, he felt almost like he just needed to let it be -- but that was safe and cowardly and he was trying to be better than that these days. "I know I'm not exactly unbiased, but I am a fairly good listener."

[ffyddlon]

"I feel guilty, somehow. As if I should feel some tie to him and I don't. It feels unnatural," Gwen admits. "And I don't like feeling that way about, well, me. I'm glad I know, don't get me wrong, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling."

[dr_robchase]

"I don't think that's unnatural at all," Chase admitted. "I mean, if anything, I'd say that was a healthy response. If you came into a strange new place and developed fixations on things you barely knew, I would think that generally meant that there was something to watch out for. That said...it's not like we're expecting it. I just want to be a friend, that's all," he said, sounding vaguely like a lost little boy.

[ffyddlon]

"And I need friends," Gwen says, giving him a soft smile in spite of how damned embarrassed this makes her feel. "The last thing I want to do is alienate you or the Doctor, really. I just don't want you to think I'm going to steal your son away in the middle of the night."

[dr_robchase]

Chase offered the softest of smiles, trying to play off how awkward he felt about the whole situation. "I don't think you're going to do that. I just can't help but feel like the whole damn thing is strange. Don't you?" he asked, seeing as he couldn't see how it wasn't.

[ffyddlon]

"It is," Gwen agrees. "It's something that I never could have imagined happening back in Cardiff, no matter how many weird things I saw on a regular basis. It's just...I don't know. Nothing prepares you for this."

[dr_robchase]

"I'm not -- sure," he said, awkwardly, "what we're supposed to do next." His life had been no barrel of laughs back home, but at least it had always made some kind of sense to him. "What do you think?" he asked. "Do you want to see him more often? If only to see if you have some kind of connection? I'd never bar you from his life and I'm not asking you to be his mother."

[ffyddlon]

"Not yet. I don't want to confuse him or me, as silly as that sounds. I want a little while to process all of this before I start spending time with him."

Gwen pauses and when she speaks again, her voice is softer. "But when I'm dealing a little better, I want to get to know all three of you."

[dr_robchase]

"We really would like that," Chase promised, a humble note of sincerity in his voice. "The last time you were here, you were family, Gwen. I didn't want to assault you with that knowledge because I know it can be terrifying, but we would have done anything for you. I operated on your brain with Toshiko, I delivered your child, and we took you in when things were down. I know it's a lot to bear, but take it and understand that it means we care about you."

[ffyddlon]

It's kind of a sudden thing but at that, Gwen reaches out and hugs him. Maybe it's stupid to feel that connection since the things that happened to the other Gwen have never happened to her but she does, she feels a connection with Rob and clearly he had enough of one with her at some point to take on the task of raising her son when she couldn't anymore.

It's a lot to handle, yes, but she's not going to try and cut him out because of it.

[dr_robchase]

He held onto her stubbornly tight. He was bad at this. He was bad at finding friends and family and holding onto them, so when he got the opportunity to have this, he didn't want to let it go. "I'm glad you're back, I am," he insisted. "And I'm glad you don't hate me, at least, as far as I can tell."

[ffyddlon]

"Never. I'd never hate you," Gwen says. "I understand why you didn't tell me, I do. How do you even start on something like that? But as much as I understand it, it's still coming as a complete shock."

[dr_robchase]

"Don't worry," Chase deadpanned, "I'm bound to give the Doctor a good smack on the head for telling you before I had a chance to ease you into it. Maybe have you hang around the place, get used to everything first. Now, it's just... well, surprise," he offered, feeling like it was the world's worst shock.

[ffyddlon]

"Might be better to have ripped the bandage off," Gwen counters. "I can't say. I've never had this kind of experience before and I used to bloody work with aliens. Aliens! And not the nice sort like the Doctor either."