(Untitled)

[practicallyaguy]

There were probably worse ways to spend a weekend.

Okay, strike that. There were definitely worse ways to spend a weekend. Sure the bus ride, the two plane rides and the taxis had kind of sucked and spending some quality bargaining with Judge Reinhold had been no picnic either, but this wasn't bad. It wasn't something that Zoe was going to

Comments

[segaboybrodie]

Another one of Brodie's daily walks of the island found him at the waterfall. The morning quest for comics at the bookshelf hadn't gone well, and he was mostly hoping that shit would reset itself before he got back.

NOBODY needed to be subjected to mangled Liefeld comics early in the morning. NOBODY. Brodie wouldn't wish that shit on his worst enemy.

"You know there are probably bikinis and shit in the clothes box, right?" Brodie said, pausing as he caught sight of the chick in the water. He was sure he'd seen her before- at a council party or something like that- though she'd been a blonde.

He suddenly found himself wondering if the carpet matched the drapes.

[practicallyaguy]

For the record there was nothing grosser than wet socks. Couple that up with everything and the fact that she was probably about to become fish bait next to some giant waterfall and the night had pretty much turned to suck.

Which was weird since it was suddenly daytime. Was this the reason that California sometimes complained about blackouts? George Lucas was a fan of the sunlamps?

Swimming in a circle, she gawked at the guy. "Gee whiz, thanks for reminding me that I'm still wearing all of my clothes. I never would have noticed, given the fact that I was dry thirty seconds ago when I was still upstairs."

[segaboybrodie]

Brodie looked up at the top of the waterfall for a second, then back down at the chick in the water. Calling the top of the waterfall 'upstairs' didn't make any fucking sense to HIM, but how the hell was he supposed to know what people called shit where she came from?

"Hey, YOU'RE the one who jumped in," Brodie reminded her, taking a sip from his Dixie cup. Beverage of choice today? Pineapple juice.

[practicallyaguy]

Swimming to the bank that he stood on Zoe slopped onto the shore. Her feet were making the squishing noises and she dragged in a piece of kelp or algae along with her. It did nothing to squash the feeling that she was currently channelling her inner creature from the Black Lagoon.

"Hey buddy, the only thing I'm guilty of is sliding down George Lucas' garbage shoot to get away from security and Hutch's grabby hand." Holding up her hands, she pointed towards the waterfall. "I definitely did not jump off of that thing."

So what if this guy didn't believe her? It's not like she needed validation from a guy who looked like he had stepped out of a movie that Mark from Archaeology had felt her up in. Talk about a waste of Kevin Smith.

[segaboybrodie]

"Wait a second. Back up." Brodie said, eyes suddenly wide and ears fucking OPEN. "Since when is George Lucas here?"

Holy shit, he hated to even THINK it, but having the creator of STAR WARS on the island might even have been better than all of his friends from Marvelverse taking up residence there. Except for Iron Man. If Iron Man hadn't been around, Brodie'd probably be walking around constantly having to explain a HAND STUMP to people all the time.

[practicallyaguy]

Maybe it was all of the organic food that Hollywood types ate, but that seemed like the dumbest question she'd been asked lately. At least in the last half hour.

This guy had no right giving her the third degree when she was the one who had dibs on being confused for the next half hour, forty-minutes tops. Raising her index finger to her mouth in a silencing gesture, she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and hoped that she had just hit her head on something hard.

The loud cry of a monkey killed that hope like it was the Alderaan being fired upon by the Death Star. "Okay, hold the phone, Toto. I said I was in Skywalker Ranch, not that I'm still with there now. Clearly."

[segaboybrodie]

NOW it made sense. At least now Brodie knew that the chick on the council hadn't fucking lost it. Looks like she had a dupe to deal with now, though.

"Sorry, Dorothy," Brodie said, figuring it'd be a good idea to just stick with the Wizard of Oz analogy, "Kansas just got turned into an alternate universe."

Brodie'd almost called the island 'Bizarro Kansas', but considering there weren't any zombie looking fuckers around talking in broken sentences, the comparison didn't really stand.

[practicallyaguy]

California had bordered on an alternate universe to start with, the awesome of Lucas and all he touched aside. Put that in perspective with a side-trip to Vegas and this only mildly phased her.

At least right now. "Like how alternate are we talking? Land of the Lost or Age of Apocalypse?"

God, she hoped that there were no Sleestaks. That would just cramp her day to no end.

[segaboybrodie]

"More like Land of the Lost, what with the dinosaurs and all," Brodie said, not able to hide the moment of the surprise that came before he'd been able to answer.

Since when did chicks know Age of Apocalypse?

[practicallyaguy]

"Dinosaurs? Seriously?"

Okay, maybe a little less Land of the Lost and a little more Island of Doctor Moreau. If she had ended up off the coast of Costa Rica on an island of Michael Critchon invention, she was going to be seriously pissed.

"Is King Kong hanging around too or are the reptiles just special?"

[segaboybrodie]

"Not that I know of," Brodie said. Damn, but she was calm, considering the circumstances. When Brodie had shown up, he'd been pissed the fuck off to have traded The Mall for the island.

...and then he'd gotten sucker punched by Rogue, but he tried not to bring that up too often.

"Welcome to Shitpit Island, better known as Tabula Rasa. Nobody knows how people end up here or how to leave."

[practicallyaguy]

Groaning and stamping her foot, Zoe made a face. "It doesn't even have a cool name? Lame."

Seriously the number one rule of alternate universes is that they have to sound alternate. Otherwise it might as well be a day trip to Cleveland.

Then again daytrips to Cleveland didn't involve being hunted down by guards or minor criminal charges. So that's a little bit of something. "God dammit, now I'm not going to get to see Star Wars."

[segaboybrodie]

"Wait a minute," Brodie asked, "What year was it when you left?"

If she'd been to Skywalker Ranch, then she'd AT LEAST seen A New Hope. Either that, or she was really the fuck into American Graffiti. And NO ONE was that into American Graffiti. Not even Lucas himself.

[practicallyaguy]

"Nineteen ninety-eight."

It was the weirdest question Zoe had ever been asked. And she'd been asked a lot of weird ass questions.

Narrowing her eyes, she folded her arms across her chest. "Why? You have something against the nineties?"