Wednesday Night at The Catscratch Club

[poison_lipstick]

The day was coming to a close as they opened the club, and it was a day that had just gotten weirder and weirder by the gorram second. Saffron had woken up with a boyfriend who was suddenly gay, had come across an ex-husband who was uncommonly cheery, and had made out with Major Perfect himself (who was no longer acting near as perfect) - and that

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[poison_lipstick]

Once she was down in the jazz club, having finally given in to the urge to roll her eyes as she headed downstairs, Saffron found she really could have used a drink. She kept her head, though, and her friendly smile as she mingled among the guests, some of them normal and some of them...not. Whatever was going on, though, she loved running the club, and as adaptable as she was, she just readied herself to deal with whatever was thrown at her that night and for the next couple of days. Oh well; at least she still looked really hot.

[thewordofweb]

By the time I catch sight of Helen downstairs, I'm curious why she's not at her post and slide off my stool to find my way to her side. "You don't exactly look very pleased," I note in a deadpan tone, offering a flash of a smile. "Something going on?"

[poison_lipstick]

"Oh, nothing at all, honey, except the island being up to its usual fèihuà," she replied, giving Webster a small smile. "How many of the boys are affected this time?" She hadn't been to the Homestead or the Officer's Club that day, and the only one of Easy she'd seen was Major Winters, which had been...interesting.

[nonsense]

[thewordofweb]

"Liebgott, for one," I admit, gesturing to the area around me as I shrug. "Which is pretty much why I'm here. In the event his wandering eyes turn just a little too handsy, I'm ready to remind him of just how uncomfortable life will be on that couch," I finish with an icy twist of tone.

[poison_lipstick]

So Joe was affected. "Oh dear," Saffron said with a little grimace. She wasn't sure she wanted to think about what Bill or Buck would be like if either of them were as well. She glanced around, but didn't see the man in question. "Is Joe here?"

[thewordofweb]

"I imagine if he's coming, he'll be ogling the male dancers. I don't think I've been called sugar so many times in my life," I scoff, though I'm still smiling fondly. "He's become this sweet innocent little puppy who bakes for me and just wants to be happy and see me happy and talk about singing birds and thinking marriage is romantic."

[poison_lipstick]

"Even counting how many times I've called you that? That is a lot." She had to laugh a little at the mental image of Joe acting sweet and innocent. "Well, at least it's all temporary," she assured Webster. "And whatever he might do, he doesn't mean it, he's not himself at all. So you might as well go with it and enjoy the amusement of it all."

[thewordofweb]

"He's plain as anything in bed and he's going to murder me when he wakes up normal, Helen. He is going to kill me," I say swiftly with sureness. "I plan on waking him up with alcohol and ropes the day he's normal." I drink my vodka with one shot back before I have to clarify just what each of those might be for.

[poison_lipstick]

"Why in the 'verse would he do that?" Saffron said, frowning slightly. "He's the one that's acting unlike himself, not you. What, will he be angry you didn't lock him in your room for three days?"

[thewordofweb]

"This is Joe," I remind her pointedly. "And while I love him, this is the same man who refused to touch me or kiss me for twelve hours because I touched two cookies off the cooling rack from one of the parties he was baking for! Yes, he absolutely will be pissed at me for not locking him up. But I can't," I whine. "He's like a puppy! I can't lock up a puppy."

[poison_lipstick]

It was Joe, that was true. The man could hold a grudge. "Of course you can't," Saffron agreed patiently. "You'll just have to remind him that he's a grown man and you're not his babysitter. It's not like you're letting him run around killing people or anything. And don't worry about it so much when there's nothing you can do." She reached up and gave his cheek a pat. "I hate to see that pretty face looking so unsettled."

[thewordofweb]

I let out a weary sigh when she pats my cheek and still stare balefully at her. "Can't I just slap him out of it?" I protest, knowing very well that it's impossible and I'm going to go home to him and let him hold me and call me 'sugar' and bake for me all he wants. "I just want Joe back," I complain heavily, with a groan. "I...need to tell him something."

[poison_lipstick]

"Believe me, if that worked, I would have got to slapping a long time ago, starting with my own suddenly queenly boyfriend," Saffron assured him. "Is whatever you've got to tell him urgent? This shouldn't last longer than the weekend, I'd guess."

[thewordofweb]

"Pretty urgent, yeah," I admit, but only because now that Grant and Skinny know, I imagine it's only a matter of time before Lieb does. Or he'll get it from a distraught Trisha (something I still feel guilty about).

[poison_lipstick]

She frowned, concerned. "Well, now you've got me worried, honey," she said. What could be so urgent that he couldn't wait a couple days to tell Joe?

[thewordofweb]

"It's private," I insist with a wary look on my face, trying to be convincing about this. After all, it's not like I should be telling everyone before Joe. He'll come around. He has to come around. And then I can tell him everything. "Until then, can you maybe try and snap him out of this gay spell he's having?"