Wednesday Night at The Catscratch Club
The day was coming to a close as they opened the club, and it was a day that had just gotten weirder and weirder by the gorram second. Saffron had woken up with a boyfriend who was suddenly gay, had come across an ex-husband who was uncommonly cheery, and had made out with Major Perfect himself (who was no longer acting near as perfect) - and that was only the beginning. She was hoping work would bring with it somewhat of a sense of normalcy, even if she was more likely to be talking to Warrick about how cute some guy's ass was than to be pulling him into their office for a few minutes of heated kisses.
As soon as my hag opens the doors to the club, I sashay up the stairs and park my grade-A top-choice Angus ass on a bar stool. Working mm-hmm, sure I am. Right here where I've got perfect view of the burning hunks of oh my god, get me a crash cart, did you see that man?. Thanks to Karen, I've got some threads that aren't threadbare and I'll be sitting here drinking Cosmos 'til the cows come home, honey, or the twins do. Oh, you didn't see them? Girlfriend, I'm telling you...two heads are definitely better than one if you take my meaning and when they're attached to bodies like those, well, uh huh, count me in, or count them in me.
"Enjoying the view, honey?" Saffron asked as she came up beside Warrick and leaned against the bar. Suddenly going from Warrick's girlfriend to his fag hag might have hurt, if she hadn't known it was temporary. As it was, she'd decided to just go with it, and was looking forward to being able to tease the hell out of him once he was back to normal.
I look back over my shoulder at the hag, and lift both eyebrows like, don't even joke because those are some fine fine bulls up there. "Oh girl, you know it. Clark and Conner took the Hamptons out of twin-set, and sent it right back to Paris." My smile turns sly. "Or Donnie does Dallas, if you know what I mean."
Clearly, Saffron wasn't going to be getting any help from Warrick running the club tonight, on account of he was too busy ogling the merchandise. That was all right, though. She could handle things just fine on her own, and if anything went wrong she had several big strong bouncers to call on. "Oh, I know," she said, and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "You work on that Cosmo, I'm going to go make sure things are going smoothly downstairs."
Sighing, I turn to look at her, one side of my face screwed up like oh god, do I have to?. I may be a big flaming queen but I'm not actually a slacker. "I can go. It's just..." Heaving another sigh, I push at my dreads - if Helen didn't swear this was wearing off in a few days, I'd find someone to buzz those right out because ew, stuff gets stuck in that. "The music is so not what I like. If only Cole was playing tonight." Cole Porter is like...my dream man. Except when I'm dreaming about - "Oh dear god, hold me. Will you look at that man's ass." I wave a hand at her. "I'll take tomorrow night, both floors. Who wants to ogle jello sacks and jiggly butts when there's bouncers to be flirted with?"
"My butt is not in the least bit jiggly, you houzi de pigu!" Saffron exclaimed, slapping Warrick's shoulder with the back of one hand. "And no, I will not hold you, not until you're back to normal. Why don't you flirt with Dean instead. I'm sure he'd love it." She glanced over at Dean, innocently mixing a drink further down the bar, then looked back at Warrick with an arched eyebrow. "Behave yourself," she admonished with a waggle of one finger - because while she might have been amused at the idea of him hooking up with some guy she was pretty sure he'd be scarred for life - and swept off downstairs.
[Gathering post at the club for all your opposite plot needs! As a reminder, the dancers are male tonight. Have fun! Open for new tags through the weekend.]
As soon as my hag opens the doors to the club, I sashay up the stairs and park my grade-A top-choice Angus ass on a bar stool. Working mm-hmm, sure I am. Right here where I've got perfect view of the burning hunks of oh my god, get me a crash cart, did you see that man?. Thanks to Karen, I've got some threads that aren't threadbare and I'll be sitting here drinking Cosmos 'til the cows come home, honey, or the twins do. Oh, you didn't see them? Girlfriend, I'm telling you...two heads are definitely better than one if you take my meaning and when they're attached to bodies like those, well, uh huh, count me in, or count them in me.
"Enjoying the view, honey?" Saffron asked as she came up beside Warrick and leaned against the bar. Suddenly going from Warrick's girlfriend to his fag hag might have hurt, if she hadn't known it was temporary. As it was, she'd decided to just go with it, and was looking forward to being able to tease the hell out of him once he was back to normal.
I look back over my shoulder at the hag, and lift both eyebrows like, don't even joke because those are some fine fine bulls up there. "Oh girl, you know it. Clark and Conner took the Hamptons out of twin-set, and sent it right back to Paris." My smile turns sly. "Or Donnie does Dallas, if you know what I mean."
Clearly, Saffron wasn't going to be getting any help from Warrick running the club tonight, on account of he was too busy ogling the merchandise. That was all right, though. She could handle things just fine on her own, and if anything went wrong she had several big strong bouncers to call on. "Oh, I know," she said, and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "You work on that Cosmo, I'm going to go make sure things are going smoothly downstairs."
Sighing, I turn to look at her, one side of my face screwed up like oh god, do I have to?. I may be a big flaming queen but I'm not actually a slacker. "I can go. It's just..." Heaving another sigh, I push at my dreads - if Helen didn't swear this was wearing off in a few days, I'd find someone to buzz those right out because ew, stuff gets stuck in that. "The music is so not what I like. If only Cole was playing tonight." Cole Porter is like...my dream man. Except when I'm dreaming about - "Oh dear god, hold me. Will you look at that man's ass." I wave a hand at her. "I'll take tomorrow night, both floors. Who wants to ogle jello sacks and jiggly butts when there's bouncers to be flirted with?"
"My butt is not in the least bit jiggly, you houzi de pigu!" Saffron exclaimed, slapping Warrick's shoulder with the back of one hand. "And no, I will not hold you, not until you're back to normal. Why don't you flirt with Dean instead. I'm sure he'd love it." She glanced over at Dean, innocently mixing a drink further down the bar, then looked back at Warrick with an arched eyebrow. "Behave yourself," she admonished with a waggle of one finger - because while she might have been amused at the idea of him hooking up with some guy she was pretty sure he'd be scarred for life - and swept off downstairs.
[Gathering post at the club for all your opposite plot needs! As a reminder, the dancers are male tonight. Have fun! Open for new tags through the weekend.]