(no subject)
Three weeks.
There were days when the mere thought made her want to scream. At other times it simply drew her attention back to the feeling of guilt that kept eating away at her heart. For three weeks she had been trapped in this place, confronted by its madness and unable to find a way back. And at the same time her ship, her people were in perhaps the most dangerous situation they had encountered in all their time in the Delta Quadrant. The ship nearly destroyed, the crew scattered in an unknown, hostile part of the galaxy. Her closest friends either severely injured or held hostage by a madman. And she, their Captain, the person they should rely on, the one who should sort things out, was sitting here in this god forsaken place, being unable to do anything to influence the outcome of their situation. She didn't even know whether they were still alive, as much as she tried to prevent herself from thinking about that. She had no way of knowing whether they had made it through the battle or whether Annorax had succeeded and they were all dead by now.
She had tried, of course. In fact, she had hardly allowed herself a moment's rest ever since she had arrived, and never more than a few hours of fitful sleep. And yet she was no closer to a solution. Whatever she had tried it all had led to nothing. She had walked until she could hardly remain on her feet in order to explore this place, she had talked to people, asked them questions. And none of this had so much as given her a hint as to how she might be able to leave this place.
By now she was utterly exhausted. Still she had somehow managed to drag herself out of bed, drink more coffee than was probably good for her and then she had come to this place, the rec room as other people called it. She didn't even know why, if she was honest. The explanation she'd given to herself was that she wanted to investigate the "enchanted" items that she had heard about. Not that she thought that this might be any help in the long run. More likely the reason was that she was just too tired, mentally as well as physically, to spent yet another day running around aimlessly, without getting any further.
So she had come here this morning while the room was still empty. It was still dark outside and everybody else was probably still in bed. She had looked at the bookshelf just long enough to make sure that it did indeed seem to have some kind of will of its own and to glance at the books it offered her without really seeing them. I was then that it all came back to her, the pure hopelessnes of this situation overwhelming her until she had simply fallen into the nearest chair, burying her face in her hands.
She wasn't the kind of person who complained to others, or the kind of woman who burst into tears. But right now she was closer to it than she had been in years. Not just from desperation but from anger at herself, for being unable to fulfill her duty, for being unable to take care of her people. This whole situation was just so wrong.
There were days when the mere thought made her want to scream. At other times it simply drew her attention back to the feeling of guilt that kept eating away at her heart. For three weeks she had been trapped in this place, confronted by its madness and unable to find a way back. And at the same time her ship, her people were in perhaps the most dangerous situation they had encountered in all their time in the Delta Quadrant. The ship nearly destroyed, the crew scattered in an unknown, hostile part of the galaxy. Her closest friends either severely injured or held hostage by a madman. And she, their Captain, the person they should rely on, the one who should sort things out, was sitting here in this god forsaken place, being unable to do anything to influence the outcome of their situation. She didn't even know whether they were still alive, as much as she tried to prevent herself from thinking about that. She had no way of knowing whether they had made it through the battle or whether Annorax had succeeded and they were all dead by now.
She had tried, of course. In fact, she had hardly allowed herself a moment's rest ever since she had arrived, and never more than a few hours of fitful sleep. And yet she was no closer to a solution. Whatever she had tried it all had led to nothing. She had walked until she could hardly remain on her feet in order to explore this place, she had talked to people, asked them questions. And none of this had so much as given her a hint as to how she might be able to leave this place.
By now she was utterly exhausted. Still she had somehow managed to drag herself out of bed, drink more coffee than was probably good for her and then she had come to this place, the rec room as other people called it. She didn't even know why, if she was honest. The explanation she'd given to herself was that she wanted to investigate the "enchanted" items that she had heard about. Not that she thought that this might be any help in the long run. More likely the reason was that she was just too tired, mentally as well as physically, to spent yet another day running around aimlessly, without getting any further.
So she had come here this morning while the room was still empty. It was still dark outside and everybody else was probably still in bed. She had looked at the bookshelf just long enough to make sure that it did indeed seem to have some kind of will of its own and to glance at the books it offered her without really seeing them. I was then that it all came back to her, the pure hopelessnes of this situation overwhelming her until she had simply fallen into the nearest chair, burying her face in her hands.
She wasn't the kind of person who complained to others, or the kind of woman who burst into tears. But right now she was closer to it than she had been in years. Not just from desperation but from anger at herself, for being unable to fulfill her duty, for being unable to take care of her people. This whole situation was just so wrong.