(no subject)
My, words cannot express how nice it is to get out of that disgusting uniform. Pantsless? Velour? Honestly, what was I thinking?
I really must apologize for the way I've acted since arriving here. I suppose it's not much better than you could expect from any other male pig, but really, my behavior was inexcusable. To think that I could actually be some chauvinist male caveman- ugh. It curdles my stomach.
With all those disgusting male hormones out of my system, I feel so liberated! Finally, I can apply my mind to higher pursuits than chasing after every other respectable woman that crosses my path. The only question that remains now is: do I take up science, or the arts? Perhaps I could fit in both?
Oh, I nearly forgot, I've regained a memory. And this one is actually useful, thankfully, unlike that last mishap with the Amazonians. My full title: Zapp Brannigan, commander of the Democratic Order Of Planets military. I was the first female commander in history, yet strangely, one of the least-appreciated. I blame the biased male military-industrial complex.
Ah, and of course, my personal assistant, Kif. She was such a nice girl, and we were so close! I do hope I get to see her again, we were such good friends. Although I suppose she's really a man, and I as well... Tsk, I hope this event never ends. The last thing I want is to go back to being some disgusting overweight pervert instead of the enlightened modern woman I am today.
[[OOC: 1% on his last name, 1% on the DOOP, 1% on Kif Kroker. 4% total regain.]]