Fear
It's been quite a while since I last wrote something here...the reason is pretty simple, but I doubt any of you will ever know (as conceited as that sounds, it really isn't, because not even I know the reason...yet by definition there must be one)
Well...life has been intersting lately...learnt an interesting amount of new things...some good, others not as pleasant but interesting either way. It has been a very interesting couple of days.
Lately I have been forced into sleeping while sitting in a chair due to a couple of horrible nightmares I began having just monday...if you don't think it's really that much, how about I put it like this...I've seen dead corpses, and have a more than delighted paladar towards the ill and grotesque (and obviously horrendous)...and even so these nightmares keep waking me up in cold sweat and almost waiting for what seems would be a slow and tortureous death...the good part however is that I never recall the nightmares, only that terrible panic that stalks me even in my waking moments...there are things even I am afraid of knowing...
Even as of now that panic haunts me...as if in a moment's blaze I will cease to exist...butchered like a hog in the time it takes me to gasp...
It stalks me....haunts my every waking instant...the air grows dense and frigid as it come near...it or they...for I am not sure...
If I wasn't so weak and powerless...I would not need to be afraid...but I am; not afraid for myself though...I don't care if I die or not...but for others, because I will not leave this world because of the treason commited by my sibling...even if it was my fault for trusting him in the first place...
Who would imagine that after only a single night it would be able to enrage the gods, the greatest ones, against the mere hybrid of my being...
They want him for what he did, they want me for letting him do what he did...
The air grows warm again...it must've gotten distratcted...or so I hope...I am afraid any of these nights will be my last...such a ridiculous death however....mutilated in my sleep...where is the honor and respect in that?...I would rather die standing, with my weapon of last resort in my left hand...
The panic remains...my energies grow weaker...
...must get up...make sure life still exiss in this home...and maybe escape from it temporarily...
Two more hours...just two more...unti the new day begins