Feeling sooo shitty
I supposed to do many things but I didnt..I didn't sort my priority correctly..
I'm supposed to update my journal regularly but I didn't. I was supposed to reply May's email but I didn't. I supposed to be reading all my friend's journals but I didn't. I'm supposed to charge my phone but I didn't. I supposed to text everyone CNY but I didn't. I'm supposed to tell the people I care how much they meant to me but I didn't... I could tell you many reasons why I did not to do it but deep down I know I'm just lazy...
PRIDE is stg that meant a lot to me. I've changed a lot but being cold and cool has always been stg that I want to remain eventho deep down I know I'm not.
I'm not posting this to brag or to whine nor to complain. This is more like a confession...
I've always trying very hard to create a mask or a barrier from revealing my true self and my feeling to people. I tend to keep a secret and sometimes lie. I think the reasons why I'm doing this is because I'm afraid of losing myself and maybe, or most probably, my pride..
The things that I posted on LJ are not all the things that happened in my life. There are things that are more significant but I would prefer to keep it inside my mind and not share. I can not explain why. Maybe because it was so precious that I do not want to share, or maybe I was just too lazy to type it down, or it might be against the personality I try to put on.
I will not put the excuse of just being me. I didn't notice that what I'm doing and what I think is right hurts people who's very dear to me.
I'm feeling like an asshole. I feel like standing in front of the mirror and show the middle finger to myself... but I know even by cutting myself with the sharpest blade in the world won't be as painful as having a bleeding wound in the heart.
I'm sorry if you feel that wtv you did was not recognised by me. Please don't feel that way.. Whether you'll be reading my blog in the future or not, I just want you to know that by mentioning or not, my care and love does not cease...
P:s// I hate being romantic but yeah this msg is for my darling who's in KL right now... I'm sorry k
I'm supposed to update my journal regularly but I didn't. I was supposed to reply May's email but I didn't. I supposed to be reading all my friend's journals but I didn't. I'm supposed to charge my phone but I didn't. I supposed to text everyone CNY but I didn't. I'm supposed to tell the people I care how much they meant to me but I didn't... I could tell you many reasons why I did not to do it but deep down I know I'm just lazy...
PRIDE is stg that meant a lot to me. I've changed a lot but being cold and cool has always been stg that I want to remain eventho deep down I know I'm not.
I'm not posting this to brag or to whine nor to complain. This is more like a confession...
I've always trying very hard to create a mask or a barrier from revealing my true self and my feeling to people. I tend to keep a secret and sometimes lie. I think the reasons why I'm doing this is because I'm afraid of losing myself and maybe, or most probably, my pride..
The things that I posted on LJ are not all the things that happened in my life. There are things that are more significant but I would prefer to keep it inside my mind and not share. I can not explain why. Maybe because it was so precious that I do not want to share, or maybe I was just too lazy to type it down, or it might be against the personality I try to put on.
I will not put the excuse of just being me. I didn't notice that what I'm doing and what I think is right hurts people who's very dear to me.
I'm feeling like an asshole. I feel like standing in front of the mirror and show the middle finger to myself... but I know even by cutting myself with the sharpest blade in the world won't be as painful as having a bleeding wound in the heart.
I'm sorry if you feel that wtv you did was not recognised by me. Please don't feel that way.. Whether you'll be reading my blog in the future or not, I just want you to know that by mentioning or not, my care and love does not cease...
P:s// I hate being romantic but yeah this msg is for my darling who's in KL right now... I'm sorry k