Just so I can lay claim to your body
Title: Just so I can lay claim to your body
Rating: R
Word count: 5,000-ish
Warnings: Language. Jared being a spaz and a dork. Dorkiness in general, really.
Author’s Notes: Based on an episode of New Girl (Episode 4: Naked, which they re-ran Tuesday night). Because all I could see when Schmidt chased after Nick was Jared chasing after Jensen, just to catch a glimpse of his willy. Some dialogue and situations stolen from the episode, because I couldn’t top it; consider it an homage. Thanks to asher_k for the super-speedy look-see! The art is mine, the images are not.
Summary: Everyone’s seen all of Jensen - even the new girl! - except Jared. Well. That’s about to change.
Jared Padalecki couldn’t believe that this was what he’d been reduced to: hiding out in the communal bathroom of his own damn home (okay, it was a loft apartment which he shared with four other people, but whatever), trying to balance his big, bare feet on the rim of the toilet seat (it’d lost its lid a while ago, so that was a feat of bravery considering what a klutz he was), and hoping to get a peek at Jensen Ackles’ dick over the stall divide.
Don’t judge. Jared was totally justified in wanting to do so - nothing creepy about that - because seriously, how could he have been best friends and roomed with a guy for two years and never have seen his schlong?
Chris and Steve had seen it (at the gym, skinny-dipping and penis fights growing up; theirs was a strange relationship); Tommy and Mikey had seen it (they’d had a cock measuring contest last Christmas - without Jared, who’d gone home for the holidays - so, of course, Jensen had won); Danneel had seen it (well, she and Jensen’d dated for freakin’ ever, so it would’ve been a little weird if she hadn’t), Genevieve had seen it (in high-res on Danni’s cell, before Danni deleted the picture, that bitch), and now, Sandy had seen it when she’d walked in on Jensen without knocking only to find him dancing.
Naked.
To reggae.
Once Jared had stopped laughing uncontrollably at that awesome mental image, Sandy had groaned and told him that she’d laughed. Giggle-snorted, to be precise. At Jensen. At his…pee-pee. His pee-pee and his bubbles. (Her words, not his, okay?) She’d laughed at Jensen’s junk because she was shy about stuff like that and that’s what she did, even when she was messing around with a guy, and Jared’d groaned, knowing that this would send Jensen - the fragile, broody bastard - running for the hills.
So what if he was small, Jared’d had huffed, leaping to Jensen’s defense just like a good best bud should, Sandy had no right to laugh at a naked man. Naked men were vulnerable; Jensen more than most, the delicate little flower.
Then, of course, everyone and their uncle had informed him that Jensen was certainly not lacking in that department. He had nothing to worry about, apparently, because he was packing heat. A show-er (according to the guys) and a grower (according to Danni), and why the fuck was Jared the only one in the room who hadn’t seen Jensen’s pee-pee and bubbles, his top hat and tails, his woodpecker and chickadees?
And yeah, Sandy might’ve had a serious problem with her inability to say penis and balls, but they could deal with that later.
‘Course, that’s when Jensen had slammed out of the apartment, on the way to his so-called ‘date’ with Misha, finally giving in to Misha’s less than subtle hints that they should just hook up and become fuck-buddies, on top of being work colleagues, and hell, it pissed Jared off that that douchebag would get to see Jensen in all his glory before Jared could.
It didn’t deter Jared, though; it just made him more deter-mined.
He perked up when he heard familiar footfalls on the tiled floor: Jensen’s Chucks, he was sure. The girls all wore girly shoes.
Ninja-quiet, Jared leaned his head over the stall divide, chin propped on the cool metal as he watched Jensen walk up to the urinal, sighing and closing his eyes before fumbling with his fly. “Hey.”
“Shit!” Jensen exclaimed, hand to heart and fly unbuttoned. “Jared, what the fuck?”
“I’m the only one who hasn’t seen it,” Jared muttered, blinking and looking earnest and innocent, laying the charm and sincerity on thick.
“What?”
“Sandy saw it.”
“Oh God. Did she tell everyone?”
“Well, the guys came over to watch the game last night, so yeah.” Jared shrugged and almost slipped off the toilet for his trouble. “And everyone’s seen it but me.”
Jensen looked perplexed. And flushed. And adorable. Then again, Jensen looked adorable, like, ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, so it wasn’t like that was breaking news, but whatever. “Why would you want to see it, Jay?”
“You’re my best friend, Jensen!”
“So?”
“So - this is the sort of stuff best friends know about each other!”
“No, it isn’t, you deranged lunatic. I dunno why I’m still friends with you.”
“C’mon, Jensen…”
“No.”
“Just the gun.”
“No.”
“Just the roses?”
“No!”
“Just the…aahhh!”
“You fell into the toilet?”
Jared glared at Chad. “Yes.”
“Trying to cop a feel of Jenny’s cock? Dawg.”
“No! Shut up. You make it sound like I was trying to molest him!” Jared cleared his throat and re-adjusted the ice pack on his swollen ankle. “I was just trying to get a little look-see.”
“And you call me a perv.” Chad chortled and Jared let him have his fun; it wasn’t often that Chad got to laugh at someone; it was usually the other way around. Give him an inch, though… Chad laughed all the way to the door, turning as he let himself out. “Eh. I dunno why you’re so gung-ho about seeing his peen. It’s nothing to write home about, dude. I mean, have you seen yours?”
“Jensen hates me,” Sandy moaned as she dropped onto the couch between Gen and Danni as Jared looked on from his vantage point on the beanie chair.
“He doesn’t hate you,” Gen assured her. “It’s just his time of the month, he’ll get over it.”
“Maybe not, though,” Danni piped up, ever the ray of sunshine. “You totally cock-blocked him. Mentally.” Sandy groaned, but Jared perked right up.
“What do you mean?” he asked, all nonchalant, like the smooth operator he was.
“He couldn’t even get his boxers unbunched enough to drop trou when Misha took him home last night.” Danni smirked at him knowingly. “They just cuddled. Awkward,” she sing-songed.
“Why is that awkward?” Sandy asked in bemusement; she’d only moved in a month ago and had yet to learn all of their many…quirks. They’d’ve never taken her on if she hadn’t been as cute as a button. Or taken on another roomie, period. Recession, man. It sucked balls.
“Jensen doesn’t cuddle,” Gen filled her in. “Unless it’s with Sasquatch over there.” She pointed at Jared and giggled. “They have an epic bromance going on.”
“Really?” Sandy’s eyes slitted shrewdly in Jared’s direction and Jared blushed. He couldn’t help it, all right? It was a medical condition; something to do with poor circulation, he was sure. “I feel like you’re not telling me the whole truth.” She turned on the girls. “Spill.”
“It’s all UST, all the time,” Danni groaned.
“Yeah, like, change the fucking channel already,” Gen chimed in.
Danni snorted. “Everyone gets that they're the OTP of the century but them!”
Jared had no clue what the fuck they were saying but Sandy apparently did. Girls. Go figure. Jared was just glad he wasn’t one of ‘em.
“Interesting,” Sandy mused. Then her eyes popped open. “So that’s why he…?” Gen and Danni nodded, their ponytails bobbing up and down. “And that’s why he… With the awkward…? Oh. Well. That makes total sense.” Maybe to Sandy, Jared thought as she flopped back against the cushions. “So what’re we gonna do about it?”
“No. Nuh-uh,” Gen said. “There is no ‘we,’ baby. Been there, done that, failed miserably.”
“Exactamundo, Tinkerbell.” Danni sniffed and studied her manicure. “But whatever, hos before bros, so if you wanna give it a shot, we wouldn’t be opposed to watching.”
Gen grinned. “And critiquing.”
“And laughing our asses off when you fail miserably,” Danni agreed, leaning over to bump fists with Gen.
“Oh, really?” Sandy asked, all innocent-like. “Care to bet on it, bitches?”
“Bet what?” Danni countered.
“The big room.”
Gen sputtered. “No way!”
“Way!” Danni agreed, quelling Gen with a pointed look. “It’ll never work, Genny. Don’t worry about your room.” She looked at Sandy and smiled. Like a shark would, all gleaming, pointy teeth. “Deal.”
“Watch and learn, ladies,” Sandy said smugly, getting up and tossing her silky hair over her shoulder as they all shook on it. “I never fail.”
And as Sandy flounced off to her room and Danni and Gen collapsed against each other and went back to painting their nails, Jared vaguely wondered how he could be present for an entire conversation (in English) and still not understand a word that’d been said. God, he was so glad to be a guy, and right about now, maybe he needed a little reminding of that, maybe play a little Halo, maybe masturbate in his room. Just get reacquainted with his masculinity, really.
‘Cause being a dude was awesome like that, even if it did sometimes entail getting his toenails painted pink.
The next morning, Jared tried whipping off Jensen’s towel when he emerged from the shower, all wet and glistening and pretty as a fucking picture, only to find that his best friend knew him too well: Jensen had boxers on underneath, and it was back to the drawing board for Jared.
He waited a couple of days before striking again. Until Jensen let his guard down. Or until Jensen turned the shower on before stepping into it and then waited patiently while Jared shrieked like a girl and jumped out of the stall, his sodden clothes plastered to his body as he shivered uncontrollably because Jensen was his favorite person in the entire fucking world but he was also a jackass and he’d turned the faucet on frigid.
Jared bided his time and waited a week before his next attempt. This time his attack was meticulously planned, when they had the loft to themselves, intrepid hunter and oblivious prey out in the open savannah of the living room. Okay, so the girls were out shopping and it was just the two of them watching the ball game, sacked out on the couch in their usual Saturday-afternoon-wear: sweats and tees. Jared pounced when Jensen got up to get them more beer, grabbing onto his loose sweats and yanking them down hard, because Saturday-afternoon-wear did not include underoos and, lo, he was treated to a view of Jensen’s rather spectacular naked ass, all freckled and peach-fuzzy under his fingers and…bisected by purple dental floss? What the ever-loving fuck? He tackled Jensen to the floor and manhandled him onto his back while Jensen squawked in indignation about Yetis and their ridiculously oversized grabby hands.
Then Jared looked down, only to find that Jensen’s ample (everyone had been right about that) package was all snugly cradled in a purple polka-dotted man-thong and…what?
“Hah!” Jensen crowed victoriously, giving an almighty shove and throwing Jared off of him. “I knew you’d try something today! So predictable, Jay,” he tsked.
“I hate you.”Jared pouted as Jensen pulled his pants back up, covering his modesty and his ridiculous thong, and drawing Jared’s eyes, once again (no hardship, really), to his…er…attributes and the very attractive bulge they formed underneath his sweatpants. He shook his head to clear it and crooked an eyebrow up at Jensen. “Polka dots? Really, buddy?”
Jensen blushed. It was adorable. Moving on. “Sandy gave it to me.”
“That bitch,” Jared growled, already plotting her demise in his head. The pantsing had been her idea too, goddammit, and Jared had been played like a veritable…plaything. He sighed, down but not yet out. “Why won’t you let me see it?”
Jensen’s eyes goggled. “Why do you wanna see it so bad?”
“’Cause.”
“Excellent argument,” Jensen drawled. “You missed your calling, you should’ve gone to law school.”
“Jensen.” Jared wasn’t above whining like a five-year-old. “Lemme see your salami.”
Jensen snorted. “Shut up.”
“Mike and Tom say it’s like Long Dong Silver,” Jared quipped as Jensen tried not to smile. “I just wanna compare. In the interest of fair play. And science.”
“You’re an idiot,” Jensen chided, taking a step back when Jared picked himself off the floor. “Stay away from me…”
“Aww, babe, all I wanna do is see your pocket rocket. No grabby hands. I promise.”
“I hate you.”
“That’s a lie, Jensen Ackles. C’mere!”
And as Jared chased after him, Jensen squealed like a stuck pig and they pretty much trashed the living room (the girls were gonna be pissed, but whatever, it was their week to clean, anyway) before Jared pursued Jensen out of the apartment, taking the stairs when Jensen ducked into the elevator, trailing him across the rooftop terrace and down to the lobby, up the fire escape and in through Mike and Tom’s open living room window, waving at their friends as they raced by (the guys waved back), running through the halls - until Mrs. Vennetelli came out of her apartment and yelled at them - then they speed-walked (with Jared absolutely not staring at Jensen’s tight buns as he followed at a clipped pace) before finally returning to their own apartment and collapsing in a panting, gasping, laughing heap on Jared’s big bed, sweaty but happier than either of them had been in weeks.
“You’re insane,” Jensen breathed.
“You’re insane-er.”
“I rest my case.”
They lay there in silence for a few long minutes, all pressed up against each other, the silence anything but awkward, until Jared shifted, sighed, propped himself up on one elbow and stared down into Jensen’s flushed (and incredibly pretty) face. “Please?”
Jensen frowned. “I don’t get you, Jay.” Jared huffed and his breath blew his bangs a little off his face; Jensen reached up and brushed aside the rest, carding his fingers through the shaggy, sweat-dampened strands as he studied him. “Why is this such a big deal with you? You realize you’re crazy, right?”
“What if you’re in an accident, huh?” Jared sputtered. “I mean, God forbid, but what if you’re horribly disfigured and I have to identify you and all that remains are your…private parts? And I’m standing there and saying, ‘Sorry, Officer. I can’t help you, because, no - I haven’t seen his penis.’ And then you’re buried in an unmarked grave.”
Jensen stared at him for so long that the clock ticking by the bed sounded like a countdown to a death knell. “You want to see my penis so that you can claim my body someday in the eventuality that I die a horrible death where only my dick is miraculously spared?”
“That argument sounded way more valid in my head.”
“Your head is a freaky, scary place, dude,” Jensen declared, and Jared turned pleading puppy-eyes - the most destructive weapon in his arsenal, the one Jensen was powerless against - on him and whined pathetically. Jensen smacked him and sighed. “Aww, shit. Fine!” He scrambled up onto his knees and Jared perked up. Not eager, just…interested.
“Take off your shirt,” Jared told him, his mouth running off without permission from his brain. Jensen blinked at him. Jared shrugged and swallowed just to get some spit to moisten his suddenly dry mouth. “It’s obstructing my view.”
Jensen rolled his eyes but complied and when he tossed his tee and lowered his arms, the teeny-tiny pooch of his tummy became more apparent. Jared couldn’t help himself. He leaned in and put his mouth on Jensen’s belly, wide-open and just above his happy-trail, and Jensen gasped and giggled like a girl when Jared blew a raspberry right there, feeling altogether too proud of the fact that he’d left his spit on Jensen’s skin, which was pink where Jared’s mouth had been.
“Hey! No touching! You promised,” Jensen scolded and Jared held his hands up in surrender. Then Jensen’s hands disappeared into his sweats. Inside. In the back, and, as Jensen wiggled his ass, Jared found it a little hard to breathe. Not to mention a little hard in general. “Stupid thong,” Jensen mumbled. “S’like having a permanent wedgie… The fuck do people wear these?” He grunted and shimmied and suddenly pulled his sweats and underwear down, in one fell swoop, and his cock - his perfect, freckled, fucking gorgeous cock - popped into view, half-hard (that was the show-er part, Jared mused distractedly) and twitching the longer Jared stared at it in an abject, dazed fascination (the grower part in action, he presumed).
“You’re beautiful.”
Jensen’s belly flushed a deep pink. “Shuddup.”
Jared looked up at his face (which, to be fair, was even more beautiful than his not-so-little friend to the south). “You’re beautiful,” Jared repeated, noting with interest that Jensen seemed to have frozen in place, only his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. Jared sat up, scooted closer, and Jensen snapped back to attention, hauling his pants back up and covering up his gloriousness, and oh, hell to the no.
Now that Jared had seen, all he wanted to do was to come and conquer. And then come again. And then make Jensen come, too. Multiple times.
Jensen lay back down, his hand splayed self-consciously over his bare belly as he studied the ceiling and Jared studied him. “If I’m so beautiful, how come I can’t even have meaningless sex anymore?” His eyes flicked to Jared’s. “I couldn’t even get it out with Misha, let alone get it up and, man, he’s hot, right?” Wrong, Jared thought, but he wisely held his peace and let Jensen vent. “I mean, yeah, it had a little something to do with Sandy fucking laughing at my junk, but it’s been forever since me and Danni split, and she’s had two boyfriends so far and now there’s this new dude she’s seeing and I’m still stuck in a rut.”
“Have you ever thought that that’s because you’re not the kind of guy who does meaningless sex?” Jared asked quietly. “Random hook-ups, club-hopping, getting blown in back rooms all over town? That sort of lifestyle isn’t for everyone.”
“Just Mike,” Jensen joked, and Jared chuckled.
“Just Mike. Until he met Tommy, and now - dude, have you ever seen him happier?”
Jensen sighed and shook his head. “I’m so jealous of them sometimes.”
“Me, too.” Jared lay back down beside Jensen, purposely lining up their arms until the backs of his knuckles brushed against Jensen’s. Then he said what he’d been wanting to say ever since this whole fucking fiasco started. “I don’t want anyone else seeing it.”
“Seeing what?” Jensen asked distractedly.
“You. Naked.” Jensen’s breath hitched, and in the sudden stillness of the room, Jared couldn’t even hear the damn clock over the staccato drumbeat of his heart. He linked his pinkie with Jensen’s and hoped he wasn’t about to lose the best friend he’d ever had in his life. “I was jealous, okay? I mean, everyone’s seen…all of you. Except for me. And I hated it. Hated the idea of it, hated the thought of it ever happening again and, I swear to God, every time Misha looked at you, I wanted to rip his goddamn head off.” Jared sighed in defeat. “I want you all to myself. There. I said it. I admit it. That’s the whole truth and nothing but, Jensen.” Jared gulped as the silence stretched on and his last words came out as barely a whisper. “I’m crazy about you.”
And there went the ticking of the clock and the drumming of his heart in synchrony; it was cacophonous and if it didn’t stop soon, Jared was gonna puke.
A million years later, Jensen spoke. “I wanna see yours.”
Jared stopped breathing, and time must’ve stopped, too; he certainly couldn’t hear that damn clock anymore. He summoned every last ounce of courage he possessed and snuck a peek at Jensen. “What?”
“You saw mine,” Jensen said, as if they were discussing the weather. “Now lemme see yours. In the interest of fair play. And science.”
Jared sat up, cautiously optimistic but unable to read Jensen’s stoic face because the fucker could be so stubborn about stuff like this sometimes, stuff that involved emotions and talking about your feelings. Chick flick moments? Jared had ‘em. “Er…”
“Get a move on,” Jensen huffed, also sitting up, his eyes darting to the clock. “I promised Misha I’d meet him at the bar later.”
Jared saw red. In fact, he thought as he yanked his tee off, he might’ve snarled his displeasure. Vociferously. Jensen, though, looked ice-cool, like nothing and no one could penetrate his fortress of solitude. Jared wrenched his sweats down, tucking the waist under his balls, his boner (because that’s what you get from laying in a bed with Jensen) bobbing at half-mast, pointing right at Jensen as if in salute. Or maybe it was just waving howdy.
Jared's momma raised him right; there wasn't an impolite bone in his body.
He almost physically felt the slow drag of Jensen’s gaze down his chest and past his abs to his dick. His dick felt the phantom menace of Jensen’s touch when the beautiful bastard licked those luscious lips of his, seemingly entranced as he stared and stared and stared.
Then he reached out to touch and Jared chubbed up, his cock spurting pre-come as Jensen’s thumb stroked over the head, Jensen’s fingernail dipping into the slit while Jared lost his fucking mind. “You’re touching,” he gasped, his tone accusatory, and what the fuck, brain? It’s not like he ever wanted Jensen to stop touching him now that he’d started.
“You promised. I didn’t,” Jensen whispered, his grip on Jared tightening as he shuffled closer, close enough that their chests were touching, bare skin on bare skin, and it was bliss.
“Jensen…” Jared said, and it sounded like he was begging.
“What do you want?” Jensen asked, his mouth a hair’s breadth from Jared’s, his eyes blazing green fire as he pumped Jared’s dick perfectly.
“You,” Jared breathed. “Always you, Jensen.” Jared saw stars when Jensen suddenly whacked him upside the head. “Ow! What’d you do that for?”
“Why didn’t you say something, you moron?”
“You could’ve said something too, you know!”
“I’m the shy one, Jared! You’re the fearless one!”
“I didn’t want to lose you as a friend!”
“As if we would ever let that happen.” Jensen snorted. “And I dated Danni, for crying out loud! And we’re still friends. Fuck, Jay, we still live together!”
“That’s different.”
“How is that different?”
“You weren’t really in love with her.” Jared looked at Jensen and shrugged. “It would’ve been different with us. You would’ve totally fallen for me. Like, head over heels. Because I’m crazy irresistible and totally loveable…”
“Don’t forget awesomely modest.”
“…and you love me so much already, it wouldn’t’ve been that big a stretch for you to fall all the way in, deeper, way past the point of no return, and then, if it didn’t work out, you’d’ve been devastated and I would’ve been broken-hearted and…”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Jensen interrupted quietly, and that made Jared stop babbling. “We would’ve never broken up.”
Jared blinked. “You sound awfully sure about that.”
Jensen shrugged. “What can I say? You complete me.” Jared groaned and Jensen snorted. “Plus, I think I’m kinda in love with your cock. I’d like to get to know it a little better, maybe take it out, buy it a nice dinner…” Jared burst out laughing, collapsing back on the bed as Jensen pounced and, in a flurry of motion, divested both of them of their restrictive sweats; the purple polka-dot thong landed on that infernal clock.
Then, for the first time, Jensen kissed him. Long and languid, warm and moist and sweet as they nipped at each other’s lips and sucked on each other’s tongues, Jensen’s skilful hand stroking Jared’s dick, Jared’s ginormous hand reaching down to join the party as he lined their cocks up and circled both of them (and yeah, Jared totally put the long in schlong; he’d prove it with a ruler later) as Jensen rutted against him like a wild thing, panting for breath as he ate at Jared’s mouth, his whole body going taut as he grunted and came just a couple of minutes later, spilling all over Jared’s hand before flopping down on top of him, boneless and sated.
Jared chuckled; it figured that Jensen was useless after he came, the fucker, but then, a few endless seconds later, Jensen moved, sliding down Jared’s body until that gorgeous mouth of his was at cock-level and, pushing Jared’s hand out of the way, he fisted Jared’s dick, holding it steady as he lapped at the head, licking up Jared’s pre-come (and Jensen’s come) before taking him deeper and hollowing out his cheeks and just…sucking.
Jared came like a bullet, embarrassingly fast, and Jensen choked on his furious release, coughing and sputtering and looking adorably annoyed as Jared’s seed dribbled down his chin. Jared chuckled and Jensen reached for one of their shirts to clean himself off.
“Fucker,” he grumbled. “See if I give you any more blowjobs.”
Jared smiled. “Empty threats, Ackles. You’re a slut for my cock now and you know it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Don’t mind if you do.”
“If you’re gonna be this corny, I’m gonna go find Misha.”
“If you mention another man’s name in our bed again, I’m gonna spank you.”
“Misha.”
“Hulk smash. Seriously.”
“Mike. Tom. Chris. Steve. Chad!”
Jensen collapsed in a fit of giggles when Jared was through trying to tickle him into submission. “So, when did Chad see your…schlort?”
“My dick is not short!”
“Shorter than mine.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re a mutant freak of nature.”
“Sticks and stones.”
“He pantsed me in the elevator,” Jensen finally admitted. “Couple of weeks ago, the son of a bitch. Said he wanted to see why you were kickin’ up such a fuss. Said enquiring minds needed to know shit. Said my prick was pretty, so I let him live.”
“Payback?”
“Planning on it.”
“Want some help?”
“Always.”
“Done.” Jared smiled. Grinned, really. He and Jensen had just had sex and things weren’t really any different from when they hadn’t been having sex. Jared wondered if he should worry about that.
“Don't worry,” Jensen said, in synch with Jared’s psyche as usual. “It’s us. Ain’t nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah,” Jared breathed, leaning over to kiss Jensen, lingering until one kiss became three and his dick started chubbing up again against his thigh. “Jensen?”
“Hmm?”
“Which one of us, do you think, would win in a penis fight?”
Jensen scrambled up to his knees. “Only one way to find out, loser.”
Jared picked up the thrown gauntlet. “Winner tops!”
“Dude. You realize that I’ma just let you win then, right?”
“Point.” Jared flushed when Jensen’s eyes darted downwards, dark with desire when he looked back up again.
“Fuck now, fight later?”
“This? This is why I love you.”
Jensen grinned, happy and carefree and so damn beautiful that Jared was almost blinded by it. “Love you too, you big lug,” he said, glomming onto Jared and kissing him silly while Jared got busy squeezing the perfection that was Jensen’s ass, his long fingers dipping into the cleft, brushing against his hole as Jensen twitched and panted and shuddered in his arms. “Now shut up and impale me with your throbbing member.”
Jared snorted with laughter, Jensen chuckled and, when they were done with the fun and games, they got down to business and fucked like bunnies. Then they took a nap, got up, and did it all over again. And then they did it once more. For luck.
And hours later, outside Jared’s door, Sandy, Gen and Danni listened with unabashed interest, flushing hotly at the happy, sexy, growly noises emanating from within, and Sandy smirked.
“Owned,” she declared smugly, arching a perfectly plucked eyebrow up at Gen. “You have one week to vacate the big room, sweetie.”
“Crap,” Gen moaned as Sandy skipped away victoriously. “The new girl, man. If she wasn’t so nice, I’d hate her.”
“Whatever,” Danni muttered, her ear plastered to Jared’s door. “It’s totally worth Jensen and Jared getting their groove on. Freakin’ finally.”
“Says you. You don’t have to move into the tiny room.”
“Neither do you, babe,” Danni said with a wink. “Jensen and Jared don’t really need separate rooms anymore now, do they?”
Gen brightened, drawling, “Why, no. No, they don’t.”
“Dibs on Jensen’s old room!” Danni yelled before Gen could and Gen stomped her foot in indignation as Danni grinned gleefully.
From the other side of the door, Jared shouted: “Would you ladies keep it down out there? I’m trying to have sex with my boyfriend!”
Gen and Danni giggled, Gen draping her arm over Danni’s shoulders. “Life is never gonna be quite the same again, is it?”
“Nope. It’s Jared. And Jensen with Jared, his one true love. Expect a whole lot more PDA.”
Gen’s eyes gleamed wickedly. “You know, if we set up some hidden cameras…”
“We could make a fortune!” Danni squealed.
From her room, Sandy yelled: “I want a cut of that action!”
From Jared’s room, Jensen yelled: “We can still hear you, you know! Perverts!”
Danni winked at Gen. “Pretty sure that qualifies as informed consent.”
“Somewhat dubious, but I’ll take it.” Gen smirked. “You realize that eventually they’re just gonna get married and move to the ‘burbs, right?”
“And get dogs and adopt a couple of kids, probably. Crap. That sounds just like ‘em, the sappy sons of bitches.”
“Next time, though, Danni? Let’s just make sure our hot new male roomies are not gay for each other before they sign the lease.”
“Duly noted,” Danni agreed. “Hey! Wanna go look for nanny-cams on eBay?”
Gen grinned. “Your laptop or mine?”
